22 June 2019 Focus

Hello to you.  This morning has been a bit rough for me.  I found out some upsetting news about the health of my neighbors and I found myself feeling very sad and powerless.  What could I do but cry with them?  Give them  hug?  Reassurance?  Pass on their situation to people who I know are prayer/meditation warriors that could add their names to their list for daily intentions?

After breakfast I realized there was something else I could do not only for them but for myself.  I lay down on the grass and talked and cried with the one I love so much, the Earth.  I curled up into a ball like a small child and let it all go and was comforted just like being held in loving arms.  I have done this before.  It’s hard to remember sometimes, when you are all upset and stuck in a moment what to do or who to talk to about such things and get any kind of relief.

Some people talk to priests and people of the church, some call family, some talk to their pets, some people will dig deeper into work, exercise, hobbies…distractions and some people do destructive things because they just don’t know what else to do about what they are feeling.

Feelings get so big that you might feel like you could get lost in them and not find your way out.  I’ve done all the things I’ve mentioned but the thing I did this morning has been the best for me.  The Earth and sky is “big enough” to carry these things I take on sometimes.  I feel bad dumping on other living beings with this kind of pain because it’s “so big.”  I know how it feels when it happens to me.  Most times, like this morning with our neighbors, I feel so small.  I feel powerless and sad!  Sometimes it’s so strong I just want to jump out of my skin!

The other thing I realized was this, and I ran the number values on it and the answers I got matched up for me:

“Focus on what you love, what you want to happen, don’t give power to what you don’t want in this world

(Focus = 64 112/126/144/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150)

(Grass/true/mercy/chosen =64) (Vulnerable = 112) (Brain=44) (Love=54) (Child=36) (Self/War/balanced=42)(Earth/Caring=52) (Information=134)

(Communication/Understanding/Fifty States = 150) (Purple heart = 140) (Quality of Life = 158) (All = 25)

Ordinal number value: 1109  174/159/118/117/133/146

Two people suffering with a difficult situation, a “90/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle” set of circumstances.  Some “74’s” are energy, Jesus, Lucifer, Alvarado, trauma, talking, cross, cloud and parts to name just a couple I’ve found in my journey with this system.  I also turned to my Mom and Dad, a 47 and 74 in the number’s to ask for their prayers.  The number 47 is also the value for Time.  The number 59 is Wish, cruel and spare.  The number 118 is witnessed.  The number 117 “I’m sorry.” The number 133 condensation…tears.  The number 146 relationship.  These two neighbors have been so good to us ever since we moved here and those two are like peas and carrots together.  It just hurts to see them going through this.  I want the very best for them both.

So again this morning I had to remember the question/answer/phrase I use when there are bad storms and I want them to go away:

What do you want to happen?  Focus on what  you want to happen not what you don’t.”

The Ordinal number value for this = 859/133/146.

“Who did I cry on? Who comforted me in my sorrow? The Earth.  I lay down and wept and was comforted.”

Ordinal number value for this = 911 110/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

Comforted = 99 84/109/140/158/125/134/150

(Thirteen = 99) (Woman = 66, a right side up 99)

Emergency number = 168 135/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

(In United States you call 911 for help. Most people use a telephone or cell phone)

(human = 57) human being = 94) (humans = 76) (planet = 68) (people = 69) (psychologist =168)

Good health = 95 84/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

“Turn a frown into a smile and turn the frown upside down” = 598/133/146

Powerless = 132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

(Life = 32)

Powerful = 116 120/156/128/141/128

(Eternity = 116)

Thought = 99 84/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Power = 77 130/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Feeling = 58 91/76/117/133/146

(A Feeling = 59)

Strength = 111 102/156/128/141/128

(Computer=111) (Why = 56) (Man=28) (Garbage=41) (Energy exchange=141)

Weakness = 97/107/163/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Strong = 93 98/91/76/117/133/146

Weak = 40 124/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Emotion = 91 76/117/133/146

“To show Emotion” = 191 110/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

Thanks for stopping by today!  Hopefully something here will resonate with you at some level.  Writing this helps me work through my feelings about painful experiences and this system often helps give me insights I didn’t have before I began exploring it.