26 May 2026 Forever

May 27, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. It’s about bedtime as I write to you. I’m not tired yet and know if I try to sleep right now I will just toss and turn. So I will write to you and may be I will get tired!

I was sitting here thinking on what to write about and the word forever popped in. What is forever? As a Christian forever is what happens to us when we die. We die to our physical body and join Jesus and all of our loved ones in heaven for all of eternity – forever. I often wonder what that will be like. For me now I am flesh and bones with my eyes paying attention to my time left here on earth.

I told my therapist this last session that I can feel at times like I am starting to die. My physical health is not as good as it was just a couple years ago. All around me are people my age and younger dying. What makes me so special that I get to live? I have survived many things that take its toll on the body. Facing the end of my second marriage because of my own fault and little that was his really shattered me. Thank God for my family and friends that came to my pleas for help.

Dear Jesus I come before you with my broken self and ask for you to walk with me through what remains of my life here on earth. I love you so much. Thank you for all the earth angels you have put along my journey! Bless those who are like me on this journey. Bless all who are seeking you and may be just are a little lost. Amen.

This song has been with me for many years now. Like Enigma, there is a timelessness to this band:

https://youtu.be/ett1ZgFKw-Y?si=-ks-opUm3ZuUqD79 – Mind in a box – Escape

I awakened in the city to utter darkness.
I was running for hours and hours
through deserted streets.
between all those towers,
there was only rain — only the rain.

I went through doors, I scoured the alleys.
in the rain I climbed ridges.
I walked over bridges, but there was no one there.
I felt deaf, although my hearing was fair.

but there was only silence.
not even the rain…

there must be more.
I need you to quell my fears.
I’ve felt it before.
I need you to shed my tears.

the things I adore.
I need you to feel my pain.
I’m trapped like before.
I need you to stop the rain.

I’ve cast myself into a prison,
with bonds near impossible to break.
I thought my life is built on reason,
but now I know I’ve got to escape.

I’ve depraved myself of all I had,
and thought I need to for my own sake.
I didn’t think I would be so sad,
but without you I cannot escape.
not even the rain…

deep in my heart,
I want you to pull me back.
I’ve kept us apart,
I want you to fix my wreck.

awake with a start,
I want you to enter my mind.
to re-cast my part,
I want you to follow me blind.

I’ve cast myself into a prison,
with bonds near impossible to break.
I thought my life is built on reason,
but now I know I’ve got to escape.

I’ve depraved myself of all I had,
and thought I need to for my own sake.
I didn’t think I would be so sad,
but without you I cannot escape.

escape, it’s not there!
not even the rain…

9 May 2026 Like A Banana

May 9, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello there! Hope this finds you well. I am home from an early Mother’s Day brunch with my cousins and Aunt and Uncle. This was the first time seeing my cousin Heidi after her four brain surgeries. She is doing so good! You can hardly tell anything has happened to her. She is living proof of God answering prayers. Her hair is short but growing out. She described herself as a browning banana with all her bruises! We thought that was so funny! I think all of us feel like yellowing and bruised bananas these days!

There were a lot of grateful tears shed today. Hearing how grateful Heidi is to God for pulling her through everything really touched all our hearts. She is so brave!

My Aunt put together beautiful spread with charcuterie boards of meat, cheese and fruit. The boys went out and got us ladies bouquets of flowers. So beautiful!

5 May 2026 Advice

May 6, 2026May 6, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, human rights, In the News, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

List the people you admire and look to for advice…

Hello to you. How is it in your world? Here in mine it’s sunny and warm again. I went and got groceries this morning after putting it off as long as I could. It was $214 just for me! That’s double what it was since all the tariffs nonsense began. Last night as I did my nightly prayers, I realized how much I hate our President and had to pray about it. Praying for those we don’t like is even more important than praying for those we do like. I had to pray for him to get the hate out of my heart. I don’t want to hate anybody but every day it’s one more thing he does that pisses me off. I can’t stand seeing his face or hearing his voice every day. I want him and his entire administration fired! I don’t understand why Congress hasn’t done anything. We shall have to see what Gods will is about it all. This uncalled for war with Iran must end!

In answer to today’s prompt I would say the people I look to for advice and admire is my family. I especially listen to my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt and Uncle are the closest thing for me having parents. Sometimes they get it wrong but it’s rare. Other people I turn to are my Pastor and friends I’ve made through church.

Dear Jesus please guide the leaders at all levels of government. Give them wisdom and empathy towards the people they serve. Please wrap your loving arms around the unhoused, the addicted, the sick, those trying to heal, the abused, the poor and the hungry. Please continue to send your earth angels to the aide of neglected and abused animals. Amen.

I am finding these shorter exercises easier to do:

https://youtu.be/jIjRNg-pOBs?si=GSzDE8DcNq09xG6f – 7 min Gentle Tai Chi for Seniors

New song from Ryan Perdz:

https://youtu.be/ayVVlOfslik?si=QD82-8oQRuw7ga1C – Sour – Ryan Perdz

3 May 2026 Part 2

May 4, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you on this warm Sunday evening. How are you? I am feeling weak and tired again. I didn’t go to church this morning. I have just been wanting to sleep and the more I chase it the harder it is. The Olanzapine makes me sleepy and so like last night I was up at like 3 am taking it.

Here is the link for today’s message from Pastor Jason about the prodigal son:

https://youtu.be/zhiU2Soardg?si=Ys8MyM0iAxRHI4uP – Run Baby Run Part 2 – Pastor Jason Boyd

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2015%3A11-32&version=NIV

https://youtu.be/yxq_6prPABs?si=0TsBKEfPJa-584-3 – Open the Eyes of My Heart – Michael W Smith

Want to See You)

Song by Worship Circle ‧ 2024

Overview Lyrics

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see you high and lifted up
Shining in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see you high and lifted up
Shining in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

To see you high and lifted up
Shining in the light of Your glory
Lord Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
You are Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy (I want to see You)
You are holy, Lord
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy (I want to see You)
Open the eyes of my heart Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You, I want to see You
Open the eyes of my heart Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You, I want to see You

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Baloche

Open The Eyes Of My Heart (I Want to See You) lyrics © Integrity’s Hosanna! Music, Leadworship Songs, Pt. Nadaku Musik

26 Apr 2026 Run Baby Run

April 26, 2026 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello to you on this beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon. Today began with going to church. My friend Jeannie was there but was sitting in the back with Roy that despite falling twice insisted on being there. I feel bad for her as she doesn’t say no and he has no one else living close by to help him. We had a baby dedication today and got to hear wonderful news about Pastor Jason’s daughter Harper being miraculously healed after a laying of hands on her. Today we were in Luke 15:11-32:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2015%3A11-32&version=NIV – link to scripture. For some reason I can no longer copy and paste from this site.

https://youtu.be/u5qPz2r-SWs?si=y6X2ZWaNV_qDMJ3T – Run Baby Run – Pastor Jason Boyd

One of my favorite songs we sang today:

https://youtu.be/RZeJTtUrhwA?si=jUA4TAKKx84eT0MD – Hillsong Worship – Here I am To Worship

Verse 1 Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness, Opened my eyes, let me see Beauty that made this heart adore You, Hope of a life spent with You.

Chorus So, here I am to worship, Here I am to bow down Here I am to say that You’re my God! You’re altogether lovely, altogether worthy, Altogether wonderful to me!

Verse 2 King of all days, Oh so highly exalted, Glorious in Heaven above, Humbly You came to the earth You created, All for love’s sake became poor.

Chorus So, here I am to worship, Here I am to bow down Here I am to say that You’re my God You’re altogether lovely, altogether worthy Altogether wonderful to me!

Bridge I’ll never know how much it cost To see my sin upon that cross! I’ll never know how much it cost To see my sin upon that cross!

Chorus So, here I am to worship, Here I am to bow down Here I am to say that You’re my God You’re altogether lovely, altogether worthy Altogether wonderful to me!

After service I went to the busy Sunrise. I sat at my little table for two that I usually sit at. After I finished and went to pay I got a blessing. Someone had paid for my meal! I think I saw who it was as they went out of their way to greet me as they were leaving. I have paid for others before and now I was on the receiving end! What a nice feeling!

28 Mar 2026 Reaching Out

March 29, 2026March 29, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Today was good. I woke up with my usual problem – anxiety and I didn’t want to be alone. I reached out to my Aunt and she had Link and I come over. She helped me make a delicious cup of coffee and made me a toasted blueberry bagel. She gave me a much needed hug. She just knows what I need! Almost every day I have anxiety in the morning and instead of fighting my way through it today I reached out. I am so blessed to have an understanding Aunt and Uncle! At times I really don’t like living alone. Thank God for Link! Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? Sometimes I think so! The dating scene for my age group is pretty dismal. I always said that if I couldn’t make my second marriage work that I was destined to be alone. There is a large void in my life not being married. I will just have to let God have the final word on this.

Favorite song before bed: https://youtu.be/h9hILKB9qZQ?si=8gwxivXqomrWUX7j – Vangelis – Come to Me

John 16:33New International Version

³³“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

15 Mar 2026 When God Heals

March 16, 2026March 16, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. It’s Sunday again. The weeks are flying by already. I’m just back from a family birthday party at my cousins house. Lots of good food and company. The men grilled burgers, hot dogs and elk burgers. The grandchildren always bring joy and laughter as does my Aunt Ruth. They even did an Easter egg hunt that the kids really enjoyed. It was good to see everybody.

Church was good. Roy was there in a wheel chair with his sister and brother-in-law. That is a miracle of Gods healing power! We had Bryant Strodt give the sermon out of Mark 5:25-34:

Mark 5:25-34New International Version

²⁵And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. ²⁶She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.²⁷When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, ²⁸because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” ²⁹Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

³⁰At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

³¹“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”

³²But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. ³³Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. ³⁴He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

https://youtu.be/Pvd7EswOdm4?si=sTf1DRbkrUYyq1v6 – When God Heals – Bryant Strodt

When God heals, it is to build our faith. When God doesn’t heal, he also uses it to build our faith.

I have been asking God to heal me for the past couple of years and he hasn’t yet. In his divine timing I have faith that he will heal me if he’s going to. I also have to accept that as we get older our cars (bodies) break down and don’t work like they used to. What I am praying for might be unreasonable! I may never be completely pain free.

5 Mar 2026 World

March 6, 2026March 6, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello and good evening to you. I tried going to sleep a couple hours ago but my mind just won’t be quiet! I should be used to this by now. So here I am writing to you. Today I went to Thursday prayer at Grace House which is always good. We had a lot to pray about! Pastor Jason’s daughter Harper is really having a hard time. So many people in our church are having health issues. Afterwards I went to the Sunrise. I wasn’t going to go but changed my mind. Going there is like home away from home for me now. I look forward to seeing and hearing Emma and her staff.

As I lay here in the quiet and dark my mind is thinking of the world. What is happening?!! It feels like everything is unraveling. I keep thinking of the children and the world they are inheriting. So many children are dying or are suffering in some way. My nightly prayers are for divine intervention. Our world leaders need to back up their nice words with action!

Dear Jesus I pray for this fragile blue dot we call home. Please be with all the children and most vulnerable – cover them with your love. Please give leaders at all levels of government and influence wisdom in their governance. May the Holy Spirit guide them in all their ways. Please be with those who care for the unhoused, poor and sick. Please protect all those who are in service and who serve others. Amen.

https://youtu.be/Zrxdgat3y9c?si=NtVKuWk8k4D12v3r – Lotus by Secret Garden

https://youtu.be/L6zulqXLPUw?si=chgcQrbs1IH8KLI8 – Hello from the children of planet earth

3 Mar 2026 Peace

March 4, 2026 by saymber, posted in history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. How are you doing in your corner of existence? Another day has passed and I got through it. I got a couple walks in and did a 9 minute Tai Chi exercise instructed by Don Fiore: https://youtu.be/ZxcNBejxlzs?si=Vfdsr0L8dnd-1fJH – 9 min session

Dear Jesus I pray for world peace in the midst of escalating global conflicts. Please guide our world leaders to peace and not war. I pray for the families who lost several school children in Iran. So many innocent souls needlessly taken. I pray for the service men and women who have died because of this conflict. Violence begets violence and you tried to teach us this lesson! I pray for all life on this fragile planet earth. Please be present with us in these dark days. Amen,

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/names-us-service-members-killed-iran-war-kuwait/

27 Feb 2026 Holy Spirit – Surrender

February 28, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. I went to bed with the intention of going to sleep but alas as soon as I turned off the light, my eyes popped open like one of those spooky antique dolls! This is normal for me. So where are my thoughts and why are they so loud?! They are on the Holy Spirit and surrender. The last time I surrendered to the Holy Spirit a bunch of really big things happened. I got sober and quit smoking which are really difficult things to deal with on your own.

I’m currently on a healing journey with the Holy Spirit and I can feel slight changes. I keep asking God to heal me of what afflicts me and I can tell that I am being lead on a path. The latest thing is Tai Chi. It’s everywhere I look online! I followed a beginners YouTube video today and could really feel it:https://youtu.be/cEvSqHZIj8w?si=_h8_XwBwlUTiJuhj – Tai Chi for beginners 7 min workout. My back didn’t hurt and I was able to get a mile walk in today. I want to get better and get back into shape. I’m tired of being overweight and without purpose.

Dear Jesus I thank you for this beautiful day. I am grateful for being allowed the privilege to get another chance to walk with you where I feel you are leading me. I pray for all my family and friends on this side of the veil. I pray for this entire planet and all the lives dependent on her well being. Thank you Lord. Amen.