Hello to you. It’s about bedtime as I write to you. I’m not tired yet and know if I try to sleep right now I will just toss and turn. So I will write to you and may be I will get tired!
I was sitting here thinking on what to write about and the word forever popped in. What is forever? As a Christian forever is what happens to us when we die. We die to our physical body and join Jesus and all of our loved ones in heaven for all of eternity – forever. I often wonder what that will be like. For me now I am flesh and bones with my eyes paying attention to my time left here on earth.
I told my therapist this last session that I can feel at times like I am starting to die. My physical health is not as good as it was just a couple years ago. All around me are people my age and younger dying. What makes me so special that I get to live? I have survived many things that take its toll on the body. Facing the end of my second marriage because of my own fault and little that was his really shattered me. Thank God for my family and friends that came to my pleas for help.
Dear Jesus I come before you with my broken self and ask for you to walk with me through what remains of my life here on earth. I love you so much. Thank you for all the earth angels you have put along my journey! Bless those who are like me on this journey. Bless all who are seeking you and may be just are a little lost. Amen.
This song has been with me for many years now. Like Enigma, there is a timelessness to this band:
https://youtu.be/ett1ZgFKw-Y?si=-ks-opUm3ZuUqD79 – Mind in a box – Escape
I awakened in the city to utter darkness.
I was running for hours and hours
through deserted streets.
between all those towers,
there was only rain — only the rain.
I went through doors, I scoured the alleys.
in the rain I climbed ridges.
I walked over bridges, but there was no one there.
I felt deaf, although my hearing was fair.
but there was only silence.
not even the rain…
there must be more.
I need you to quell my fears.
I’ve felt it before.
I need you to shed my tears.
the things I adore.
I need you to feel my pain.
I’m trapped like before.
I need you to stop the rain.
I’ve cast myself into a prison,
with bonds near impossible to break.
I thought my life is built on reason,
but now I know I’ve got to escape.
I’ve depraved myself of all I had,
and thought I need to for my own sake.
I didn’t think I would be so sad,
but without you I cannot escape.
not even the rain…
deep in my heart,
I want you to pull me back.
I’ve kept us apart,
I want you to fix my wreck.
awake with a start,
I want you to enter my mind.
to re-cast my part,
I want you to follow me blind.
I’ve cast myself into a prison,
with bonds near impossible to break.
I thought my life is built on reason,
but now I know I’ve got to escape.
I’ve depraved myself of all I had,
and thought I need to for my own sake.
I didn’t think I would be so sad,
but without you I cannot escape.
escape, it’s not there!
not even the rain…
To be 