Hello to you. How are you? I hope you are well. The word that came up today is resistance. I have been resisting some things because a part of me doesn’t want to believe this is my life now the way that it is.
“resistance” in the English Ordinal system equals 113 and look at that it’s a 13 in there! I was born on 13 February!
The biggest thing I have been resisting is the fact, and it is a fact, that I am a not a guest here in Idaho and I’m not going back to Texas. It’s simply my reality now. My stuff is in a storage unit here and the rest of my belongings to include Link are with me here in Idaho. I’m not going back. I really can’t go back. Once the house is sold that’s it for me and Texas. There are so many memories to overlay with new memories.
I can tell when I am resisting because I get hot flashes and also feel like I am being split into two parts. I don’t want to keep feeling this way so I have redirect my thoughts to the present moment.
Does any of this resonate with someone else? I hope that some or all of what I’m sharing helps someone else as much as it helps me to write about it.
My interpretation through this system of what forgiveness is. It is a process within the two sides of ourselves to determine if we will let the harm someone else has caused us be set aside or whether or not we will hold on to it. Sometimes, for me, it seems like I’ve let something go from the past but something in the present can trigger an old wound. This has been happening to me recently in my own life. There are a lot of “broken pieces” in my house as evidence. I glued some of them together yesterday and made some art out it like I’ve done in the past and posted here.
I deleted all my previous posts because sometimes, without meaning to, you can hurt people with things you write.
Not many people understand this system that came to me around February of last year…..trust issues. Gematria has been around a long time but the way I interpret it isn’t the same as other people do it. To consider both the light and shadow aspects of ourselves. I am split in two in most any way you can be, so this makes sense to me and may make sense to others like me. This message is for you then. I feel like God gave me this as a life preserver to try and help me get a grasp on reality. It is my duty to pass it on….for free. It doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to the God of my understanding.
“Forgiveness” in the English Ordinal system equals 139/13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 (light and shadow of ourselves) = 6.5 = 11/2/1 or 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10/1 or 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 *My name, Jackie, is 39. To look at this number is one person in a “yes, no, may be” situation and nine for me is nein, nein in German is No.
“one three nine” in the English Ordinal system equals 132 – one person in a “yes, no may be” situation yet and now they are in the process of deciding what they will do between the two sides of themselves.
“one three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 148 – one person engaged now with their brain, brain is 44 in the numbers in the racetrack or seeming infinity process that is life.
“one four eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 143 – one person engaged yet with their brain in the “yes, no, may be” process of forgiveness.
“one four three” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – one person engaged in the five senses, the “sensation” of the unknown aspects of forgiveness. What will happen if they forgive? This number is also fifty states and communication in the numbers.
“one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140 – one person engaged with their brain in the unknown aspects of forgiveness.
“one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158 – one person engaged in the five senses, the “sensation” while living on the racetrack or seeming infinity that is life. The number eight is the infinity symbol if you draw it.
“one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 – one person engaged in the process of forgiveness and the five senses, the “sensation” and or feeling of what it is like to forgive.
“one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – one person engaged in the “yes, no, may be” aspect along with their brain….”shall I continue?”
“one three four” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – one person engaged in the five senses again, the “sensation” of forgiveness and their are many unknown aspects….variables they can’t control. It is a cycle. I forgive but seldom can forget which can be difficult for people who would like to forget the past and I remind them of it.