15 Dec 2017 Dreams, A Need Versus A Want, The Tower of Babel (Genesis 11:1-9New International Version (NIV) and Emotional Intelligence (Dalai Lama)

11 Dec 2017 – Everything has become a need versus what most things are a want. We need food and water for example – squirrel. (After I wrote this our neighborhood squirrel came and got a drink of water from the bowl I try to keep full for them).

Hello to you.  I wasn’t sure I was going to post anything after the FCC net neutrality repeal yesterday (https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/fcc-reverses-landmark-rules-aimed-at-free-and-open-internet/ar-BBGJMoz?OCID=ansmsnnews11).  I prayed and meditated about it like I always do when it comes to things of this nature and now we wait.  Kyle and I had some pretty choice words about this yesterday but I am not going to dwell on it.  It’s like drinking poison and expecting a cure.

Last night’s dreams were interesting.  The two I remember kind of go together.  The first one was of watching a plane almost crash over the house and then going from that and watching the plane go into the ocean and become self automated like AI (a mech or robot) but no passengers.  It was looking at me but had empty chairs behind glass for eyes.  The other dream was about watching a bunch of Asian people sitting around a white table with boxes beside them like microphones to amplify their voices.  They were playing some sort of word game.

A topic that has come up many times for me through the years as I’ve tried to navigate my way through living in this world has been knowing the difference between a want and a need.  It seems to me that in our world we have lost the ability to discern the difference.  For example we need food and water.  Most everything else above and beyond what it takes for us to survive is a want.  What drives wants and all the labels that come with those wants (infidelity and many other life traps)?  The human propensity for boredom.  The color green goes from green to teal, to olive, to sea foam green.  The gratitude that comes from just having a car to drive goes to I want one with these features, this color, these rims on the tires.  I want to be special.  I want to be unique.  I want to be different from everyone else.  I want people to notice me.  The irony in all this is the mess we’ve created our of ourselves and this planet in our quest for alleviation of boredom and individuality.

Is what you are about to buy or what you are about to do going to bring you lasting fulfillment, joy, happiness, make your life better or is it just a an attempt to put a mask on something else?  There is no person, place or thing that can fill the void of spirit within all of us – the place that animates us in this existence.    It is important to learn what you need to live a fulfilling life and let go of what you don’t.  Learn the difference, for yourself, what you need and what it is you simply  a want and ask yourself why you want it. 

This came to my mind this morning.  There is a lot about the internet that is good.  My being able to be here doing this right now is pretty amazing.  There is a lot about the internet that has become very destructive.  A child being able to broadcast their suicide livestream on Facebook for example is not a good thing (https://nypost.com/2017/01/25/teen-broadcasts-her-suicide-on-facebook-live/).

The word Babble and it’s definition is how the Internet seems to be to me most times.  A bunch of people talking, screaming and yelling to be heard but who is actually listening?  Go back to the dreams I shared with you.  What if this chaos we’ve created in a “box”  was unleashed into an AI form.  Something to think about.

https://www.newsmax.com/TheWire/facebook-bots-create-language/2017/08/01/id/805126/ – Facebook Bots Create Language Amongst Themselves

bab·ble
[ˈbabəl]

VERB
babbles (third person present) · babbled (past tense) · babbled (past participle) · babbling (present participle)
  1. talk rapidly and continuously in a foolish, excited, or incomprehensible way:
    “he would babble on in his gringo Spanish”
    • utter something rapidly and incoherently:
      “I gasped and stared and babbled, “Look at this!”” ·

      [more]
      “he began to babble an apology”
    • reveal something secret or confidential by talking impulsively or carelessly:
      “he babbled to another convict while he was in jail” ·

      [more]
      “my father babbled out the truth”
    • (babbling)
      (of a stream) make the continuous murmuring sound of water flowing over stones:
      “a gently babbling brook”
      synonyms: burble · murmur · gurgle · tinkle · plash
NOUN
  1. the sound of people talking quickly and in a way that is difficult or impossible to understand:
    “a babble of protest”
    • foolish, excited, or confused talk:
      “her soft voice stopped his babble”
      synonyms: prattle · chatter · jabber · prating · rambling · blather · gab ·

      [more]
    • the continuous murmuring sound of water flowing over stones in a stream:
      “the babble of a brook”
    • background disturbance caused by interference from conversations on other telephone lines.
ORIGIN
Middle English: from Middle Low German babbelen, or an independent English formation, as a frequentative based on the repeated syllable ba, typical of a child’s early speech.
-babble
COMBININGFORM
  1. forming nouns denoting confusing or pretentious jargon characteristic of a specified field or group:
    “psychobabble” ·

    [more]
    “technobabble”
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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+11%3A1-9&version=NIV

Genesis 11:1-9New International Version (NIV)

The Tower of Babel

11 Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As people moved eastward,[a] they found a plain in Shinar[b] and settled there.

They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. That is why it was called Babel[c]—because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

Footnotes:

  1. Genesis 11:2 Or from the east; or in the east
  2. Genesis 11:2 That is, Babylonia
  3. Genesis 11:9 That is, Babylon; Babel sounds like the Hebrew for confused.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011

 

What the Dalai Lama Taught Daniel Goleman About Emotional Intelligence

May 04, 2015
MAY15_04_dalai_lama

Two decades before Daniel Goleman first wrote about emotional intelligence in the pages of HBR, he met his holiness the 14th Dalai Lama at Amherst College, who mentioned to the young science journalist for the New York Times that he was interested in meeting with scientists. Thus began a long, rich friendship as Goleman became involved over the years in arranging a series of what he calls “extended dialogues” between the Buddhist spiritual leader and researchers in fields ranging from ecology to neuroscience. Over the next 30 years, as Goleman has pursued his own work as a psychologist and business thinker, he has come to see the Dalai Lama as a highly uncommon leader. And so he was understandably delighted when, on the occasion of his friend’s 80th birthday, he was asked to write a book describing the Dalai Lama’s compassionate approach to addressing the world’s most intractable problems. Due out in June, Force for Good, which draws both on Goleman’s background in cognitive science and his long relationship with the Dalai Lama, is both an exploration of the science and the power of compassion and a call to action.  Curious about the book and about how the Dalai Lama’s views on compassion informed Goleman’s thinking on emotional intelligence, I caught up with Goleman over the phone. What follows are edited excerpts from our conversation.

HBR. Let’s start with some definitions here. What is compassion, as you are describing it? It sounds a lot like empathy, one of the major components of emotional intelligence. Is there a difference?

Goleman: Yes, an important difference. As I’ve written about recently in HBR, three kinds of empathy are important to emotional intelligence: cognitive empathy – the ability to understand another person’s point of view; emotional empathy – the ability to feel what someone else feels; and empathic concern – the ability to sense what another person needs from you.  Cultivating all three kinds of empathy, which originate in different parts of the brain, is important for building social relationships.

But compassion takes empathy a step further. When you feel compassion, you feel distress when you witness someone else in distress — and because of that you want to help that person.

Why draw this distinction?

Simply put, compassion makes the difference between understanding and caring. It’s the kind of love that a parent has for a child. Cultivating it more broadly means extending that to the other people in our lives and to people we encounter.

I think that in the workplace, that attitude has a hugely positive effect, whether it’s in how we relate to our peers or how we are as a leader, or how we relate to clients and customers. A positive disposition toward another person creates the kind of resonance that builds trust and loyalty and makes interactions harmonious. And the opposite of that — when you do nothing to show that you care — creates distrust, disharmony, and causes huge dysfunction at home and in business.

When you put it that way, it’s hard to disagree that if you treat people well things would go better than if don’t or that if you cared about them they would care a lot more about you. So why do you think that just doesn’t happen naturally? Is this a cultural thing? Or a misplaced confusion about when competition is appropriate?

I think too often there’s a muddle in people’s thinking that if I’m nice to another person or if I have their interests at heart it means that I don’t have my own interests at heart. The pathology of that is, “Well, I’ll just care about me and not the other person.” And that, of course, is the kind of attitude that leads to lots of problems in the business realm and in the personal realm. But compassion also includes yourself. If we see that if we protect ourselves and make sure we’re okay — and also be sure the other person is okay — that creates a different framework for working with other people and for cooperating with other people.

Could you give me an example of how that might work in the business world?

There’s research that was done on star salespeople and on client managers, which found that the lowest level of performance was a kind of “I’m going to get the best deal I can now, and I don’t care how this affects the other person” attitude, which means that you might make the sale but that you lose the relationship.  But at the top end, the stars were typified by the attitude, “I am working for the client as well as myself. I’m going to be completely straight with them, and I’m going to act as their advisor. If the deal I have is not the best deal they can get I’m going to let them know because that’s going to strengthen the relationship, even though I might lose this specific sale.” And I think that captures the difference between the “me first” and the “let’s all do well” attitude that I’m getting at.

How would we cultivate compassion if we’re just not feeling it?

Neuroscientists have been studying compassion recently, and places like Stanford, Yale, Berkeley, and the University of Wisconsin, Madison, among others, have been testing methodologies for increasing compassion. Right now there’s a kind of a trend toward incorporating mindfulness into the workplace, and it turns out there’s data from the Max Planck Institute showing that enhancing mindfulness does have an effect in brain function, but that the circuitry that’s affected is not the circuitry for concern or compassion.  In other words, there’s no automatic boost in compassion from mindfulness alone.

Still, in the traditional methods of meditation that mindfulness in the workplace is based on, the two were always linked, so that you would practice mindfulness in a context in which you also cultivate compassion.

You and Your Team

Emotional Intelligence

Feelings matter at work

Stanford, for example, has developed a program incorporating secularized versions of methods that have originally come from religious practices. It involves a meditation in which you cultivate an attitude of loving kindness, or of concern, or of compassion, toward people. First you do this for yourself. Then for people you love. And then for people you just know. And finally for everyone. And this has the effect of priming the circuitry responsible for compassion within the brain, so that you are more inclined to act that way when the opportunity arises.

You’ve remarked that the Dalai Lama is a very distinctive kind of leader. Is there something we could learn from his unique form of leadership, as leaders ourselves?

Observing him over the years, and then doing this book for which I interviewed him extensively, and of course being immersed in leadership literature myself, three things struck me.

One is that he’s not beholden to any organization at all. He’s not in any business. He’s not a party leader. He’s a citizen of the world at large. And this has freed him to tackle the largest problems we face. I think that to the extent that a leader is beholden to a particular organization or outcome, that creates a kind of myopia of what’s possible and what matters; focus narrows to the next quarter’s results or the next election. He’s way beyond that. He thinks in terms of generations and of what’s best for humanity as a whole. Because his vision is so expansive, he can take on the largest challenges, rather than small, narrowly defined ones.

So I think there’s a lesson here for all of us, which is to ask ourselves if there is something that limits our vision — that limits our capacity to care? And is there a way to enlarge it?

The second is that he gathers information from everywhere.  He meets with heads of state and he meets with beggars. He’s getting information from people at every level of society worldwide. This casting a large net lets him understand situations in a very deep way, and he can analyze them in many different ways and come up with solutions that aren’t confined by anyone. And I think that’s another lesson everyday leaders can take from him.

And the third would be the scope of his compassion, which I think is an ideal that we could strive for: it’s pretty unlimited— he seems to care about everybody, and the world at large.

You’ve called the book a call to action. What do you hope people will do after reading it?

The book is a call to action, but it is a very reasoned call to action. The Dalai Lama is a great believer in a deep analysis of problems and letting solutions come from that analysis. And then he is also passionate about people acting now. Not feeling passive, not feeling helpless, not feeling, “What’s the point; I won’t live to see the benefit” but rather to start changes now even if the change won’t come to fruition until future generations.

And so my hope, as is his, is to help people understand what they can do in the face of problems that are so vast— creating a more inclusive economy; making work meaningful; doing good and not just well; cleaning up injustice and unfairness, corruption and collusion in society, whether in business, politics or religion; helping the environment heal; the hope that one day conflict will be settled by dialogue rather than war.

These are very big issues. But everyone can do something to move things in the right direction, even if it’s just reaching across the divide and becoming friendly with someone who belongs to some other group. That actually has a very powerful end result: that is, if you have two groups somewhere in the world that have deep enmity toward each other, and yet a few people in each group like each other it turns out that’s because they’ve had personal contact — they have a friend in that other group. So something as simple as reaching out across a divide is actually a profound thing.

In each of these areas, with whatever leverage we have, the point is to use it, not just to stand back.

 

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13 Dec 2017 Random Sharpies and Women with wings (dream)

Hello to you.  It’s Wednesday.  There is the sound of rapid gun-fire somewhere in town just now – sounds like it’s just down the street by the man-made pond where they just built a bunch of new houses.  Living where I do that isn’t  uncommon to hear people target practicing or hunting but not at 6:55 am on a school day!  Kind of weird.   With all the mass shootings in this country now it’s unsettling to hear gun fire like that because it’s hard to know if people are hunting animals or other people!   We live right near an Jr. High School and an Elementary school.

23 July 2016 the process today — getting fancy!

Yesterday afternoon I decided to revisit making music with my lap harp (https://saymber.com/2016/07/23/22-july-2016-my-first-light-song-using-my-music-maker-lap-harp-to-help-me-a-possible-new-way-to-make-music-practicing-the-exercise-of-following-through-for-people-with-adhd-aka-monkey-mind/).  The pendant I was using before lost all the color coating on it so I can’t really use it and it’s difficult to use.  So I came up with an idea to toss my collection of colored Sharpie markers and that actually worked lol!  I definitely need to refine this idea.  It’s fun to be creative and explore new ways of making music.

It all started with this pendant I got for like a $1 at a neighbors garage sale last year

This is the combination that came up.  I had to laugh when I actually played it on my harp because it sounded horrible, dissonant just like this world looks and sounds to me right now:

So – Blue, Do – Pink, La – Indigo, G – Teal, Fa – Green, Ti, Violet, Do – Red, Re – Orange, Fa – Lime Green, B – Pink, Fa – Green, Mi – Yellow, D – Brown, Do- Red, Ti –  Violet, B – Pink, Ti – Violet, C# – orange, La – Indigo, Fa – Green, Re- Orange, B- Fuchsia, Ti – Violet, Re – Orange

When I had the markers laid out, a large fly landed specifically on an orange marker and flew away.  Colors can “mean” many things.  Lately orange for me has been about our President.  This time the colors orange, green, black and brown brought to mind the Irish slave trade: https://saymber.com/2016/09/24/24-sept-2016-london-town-2016-film-starring-jonathan-rhys-meyers-and-inconvenient-truths-of-our-past-the-irish-slave-trade/.

This phrase, “Slavery is not a color problem it is a human problem” came to mind looking at these colors put together.  In this very day and age we have human beings being trafficked, bought and sold into slavery  (Lybia:  http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/horrified-by-libya-slave-trade-rwanda-offers-refuge-african-migrants-wishing-leave-country-1648518).  Sometimes the slavery is consensual but it is slavery nonetheless.

The dream I had last night/this morning (time doesn’t exist in the dream world of course) was about being in a place where women had wings.  I had wings too but we didn’t use them, we hid them until one day when “Grandma” was gone.  I can remember flying over water were other women with wings were.  Then she was coming back unannounced and we had to hurry and clean up before we got caught using our wings.

This dream is resonant to what I am seeing in the headlines ever day about sexual misconduct.  Women want to soar next to the men and make this world a better place without shame for being who they are…without the four letter word FEAR clipping their wings.  People just want to be who they have been put on this earth to be.  They just keep getting obstructed!  If you notice, babies are talking and becoming aware faster and faster than I’ve ever seen before.  I wonder if this is an indication of the state of emergency we are in?

12 Dec 2017 – I was thinking the spiral on the tips of our fingers is a reminder of our connection to God and the Universe.

The way I’ve been feeling lately – on a bridge walking to the unknown.

6 Dec 2017 Link, Map like a blanket (dream) and I-7 (Genesis)

Hello to you in your here and now.  It’s 3:36 am on this cold Wednesday morning here as I start to write to you.  How are you?  Kyle and I are all off schedule lately.  We’ve been going to bed at like 7 and getting up at 1 or 2 in the morning.  I know some of it has to do with May’s passing and our processing grief over that but also it’s probably the season’s change in lightness and darkness, the weather and things like that.  We have learned to just go with it and get rest when we can!  Since a  young age I’ve been a person who takes naps.  When I was younger,  it was usually after I ate and the carb crash thing but now it’s that, side effects to my medication and just getting older.  My battery needs more frequent recharges lol.

I am blessed to have a Link who is always up for a nap!

6 Dec 2017 – Link this morning snuggling in a small version of one of my fleece blankets. I like making blankets for our “kids” – they just love them as much as people do.

In a couple of days he is going to be 3 years old!  I will never forget the joy Kyle and I shared meeting him and his brothers Dutch and TJ the first time.  He was so tiny he fit into the palms of our hands.  Holding him them,  I would have never guessed he would grow to be as big as Spot is!

23 Dec 2014 Jackie Spot and Baby Link for his first Christmas Alvarado TX

He was both a Christmas AND Birthday present to me.  We went to Norman Oklahoma for my 47th birthday in 2015 to bring him home.

13 Feb 2015 Kyle and Link after we arrived Tippie in back and his first toy blue monkey in his pocket Norman OK

The past few days I’ve been dreaming a lot but I have been lax about writing them down or trying to remember all of them.  The dream I had last night is just fragments but poignant ones.  There was something about a map being like a blanket and two women, one being me, crying and being/feeling very small like children.  I remember a man thanking me for something.  He was looking at me like a parent looks at their child when they are hurting.  It was very comforting.

In their way, May, Amber, Sam and Blondie have been some of the finest teachers I could ever hope for in this Earth School.

Imagining May enjoying sunshine wherever she is now. 12 Feb 2015 May in the sunshine Alvarado TX 1

5-march-2015-my-sunbeam-kitty-amber-alvarado-tx

22 July 2010 our Sammy smiling.

25 Nov 2010 Blondie and Sam at the kiddie table. Blondie was only with us about a year.

Now Spot and Link continue on with the teachings Kyle and I must learn.  Lessons that only can be learned from beings so close to the source of all things….God.

22-oct-2016-my-two-teachers-and-guides-this-morning-link-and-spot-alvarado-tx

Louis Armstrong “What A Wonderful World” LIVE 1970 (Reelin’ In The Years Archives)

Published on Jan 6, 2016

Reelin’ In The Years Productions has available for licensing over 20,000 hours of music footage spanning 90 years. Additionally, we have more than 5,000 of hours of in-depth interviews with the 20th century’s icons of Film and Television, Politics, Comedy, Literature, Art, Science, Fashion and Sports. Please visit http://reelinintheyears.com‬ to search our online database.

5 Dec 2017 – I did this drawing yesterday. What came to me was I-7 at first then the number 5982 which I broke down to 3. I was curious to see if there was any correlation to the Bible and I was lead to Genesis. When I look at this I think of a director, a captain of a ship or an engineer. I think of the life force inside of the earth and all it’s manifestations on this earth.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+1+&version=NIV

Genesis 1New International Version (NIV)

The Beginning

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.

And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good.

11 Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. 16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” 21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” 23 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.

24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.

26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Footnotes:

  1. Genesis 1:26 Probable reading of the original Hebrew text (see Syriac); Masoretic Text the earth

New International Version (NIV)Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

28 Nov 2017 The backhanded compliment or asteism

Source is internet: When I saw what happened at the White House, I thought of Legendary Navajo Code Talker Joe Kellwood who walked on at age 95 last year.

Hello to you. How are you doing in your today? I’m doing pretty good just reallllllyyyy sore lol! We did the tree trimming yesterday in the front and back yard and then there was the dismembering of the severed limbs without a mulcher!  I really wish our town had a lending closet for things like mulchers and other mechanisms you need to maintain a house but only need like once a year. Anyhew…..the trees look much better. I noticed that there were limbs we took from the Pecan that had suspicious white patches that weren’t just bird poop on them. Hopefully she’ll be healthier for the trimming. I think we did a better job than the people we had hired a couple of years ago who did just about nothing and too $300 from us!

The dream realm was much quieter last night. The only one I slightly remember had to do with London making room for India.

The topic today, the backhanded compliment, comes from me seeing people in highly visible places seemingly trying to do something nice and then in the midst of doing that, throw out an ill-timed racial slur or insult. I’ve noticed this happening on a repeated occasions for one person in particular and it’s really rather sad.  It is a recurring event and the people that are supposed to be helping prevent such faux pas are failing miserably.  More distractions from that Russian probe, the FCC net neutrality repeal and tax bill they are trying to work on.   Kyle’s visual for this sort of thing is using a kitchen plate and holding it in front of a raised middle finger and saying….”look at the plate.”

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/11/27/trump-calls-elizabeth-warren-pocahontas-while-hosting-native-american-war-heroes-event/898815001/ – “President Trump couldn’t resist using his old nickname for Sen. Elizabeth Warren – “Pocahontas” – even at an event honoring Native American war heroes.”

This said, I have been guilty through the course of my life of the backhanded compliment or asteism (new word I learned today).  So what exactly is a backhanded compliment?

A backhanded compliment, also known as a left-handed compliment or asteism, is an insult that is disguised as a compliment. Sometimes, a backhanded compliment may be inadvertent. However, the term usually connotes an intent to belittle or condescend.

Insult – Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backhanded_compliment

I didn’t know what an asteism was. When I tried to find out what it meant, I kept getting the word asterism which is a cluster of stars in the night sky – which is far from an insult lol!

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/asteism

Noun[edit]

asteism (plural asteisms)

Polite irony; a genteel and ingenious manner of deriding another.

Here is an article I found with some really great examples:

http://www.literallydarling.com/blog/2014/06/10/compliments-actually-flatter-one/

Backhanded Compliments That Actually Don’t Flatter Anyone

June 10, 2014 by Ella

“Ella actually wrote a good article.”

Perfect example of a backhanded compliment! Anything with “actually” in the sentence is, actually, instantly less flattering. And don’t even get me started with so-called compliments that end with, “for a (insert an offensive noun—i.e., girl, guy, any and every race)”.

I asked my friends for the worst compliments they’ve ever received. I’m going to break this down into a few categories: race, sex (gender and more), heavy topics, appearance, and intelligence. These are my personal favorites, even though these comments are anything but favorable.

Race:

“You have nice hair for a black girl.”

“You’re really cute for a dark-skinned/black girl.”

But really, this applies for any and every race. As someone who’s Filipino, I constantly have gotten: “You’re really cute for an Asian.” and, “You have really big eyes for an Asian.”

The “for a (insert an offensive noun)” seems to go hand-in-hand with race.

Oh, and if you’re even remotely “exotic-/foreign-” looking, “You look like a Kardashian.” (Since when were they their own ethnicity?)

Sex (gender and then some):

“I like you because I’m not intimidated by you. Well, not that I think men should be intimidated by women anyway.”

“Out of all my friends with whom I could have said I had the worst sex in the world last night, I’m glad it was you.”

“You don’t look like that much of a boy with your hair that short.”

Heavy Topics:

“The extra curve actually works on you.” (in regards to the Freshmen 15)

“I’m glad you’re not one of those girls that thinks she needs to lose weight. You don’t want to be skinny anyway.”

“You’re really pretty for a big girl.”

“You’re the whole package! You’re funny, talented, smart… I mean, if you were only skinnier you’d be absolutely perfect.”

“You’re not like obese, you’re like… skinny-fat.”

“This dress is way too big on me, so I think it will look really great on you!”

“You can dance really well for a fat girl.”

“Wow, you really get pretty when you lose weight!”

“Hey, let me know if you ever want help losing weight!” (Note that her father said this to her.)

“You’d look healthier if you lost 20 pounds.”

Appearance beyond weight (no pun intended):

“You should dye your hair brunette. Your blonde hair really doesn’t make you look as intelligent as you actually are.”

“Well, you look really pretty when you put on some mascara and dress nice…”

On Tinder a woman displayed her multiple hair colors and one guy asked, “What color is your hair now?” She said blonde, and he responded, “Well if you were my gf maybe for my birthday you could die it brunette, it looked super sexy. (sic)” He got blocked after the spelling and creepiness. Conversely, she also had a boyfriend try to convince her to dye her hair platinum.

“You’re much better looking in person than in pictures.”

“You grew into your head.”

“You got prettier in college.”

“Your hair looks way better straight!” (to a person with naturally curly hair)

“This isn’t really yours, is it? Thank God you blossomed…you should get your picture retaken.” (said by a cop about my friend’s ID on her birthday)

“You’re still pretty even though you have a big nose.”

“It must be so nice to have such small boobs.” (Spoiler: it forever makes you unable to be the “hot” girl; you’re always the “cute” one.)

“You kind of look like you’re 13. But that’ll come in handy when you’re old!”

Intelligence:

“You’re very detail-oriented but since you have issues with flexibility you’ll need a job where you basically do the same thing every day.”

“You’re a lot smarter than I thought!” (said to a sorority woman)

“You’re so cool. If you looked like (insert random girl’s name) you would be perfect!”

“It must be great to be an only child. You’re so used to being alone.”

“I wish I could be more like you and not have any feelings.”

“You’re so much nicer and smarter than what people say about you.”

“You’re talented? But you’re in a sorority!”

OK, granted, no one intends to give a backhanded compliment—at least I can only hope not. However, I couldn’t help but notice how much more backhanded compliments were related to weight and intelligence.

Perception is everything. We perceive things without even realizing we’re perceiving them. For instance: When you first see someone, naturally the first thing you perceive is their gender. It’s no wonder that gender was a common theme as well.

I’ll admit, these backhanded compliments, while anything but flattering, are pretty funny from an outside perspective. But it made me realize something. (Wait, a sorority girl who actually thinks?! Sorry, I had to go there): How easy it is to come off ignorant and stereotypical. This especially hit home when I thought about the race comments. As someone who has been called a “cute Asian,” here’s a thought: can I just be a cute person? Just a thought! And the weight comments being one of the most popular themes, next to intelligence… I’m sorry, but why is being skinny, and especially being intelligent something of such a rarity that it’s worth commenting on?

I just can’t help but think that the people who are saying these backhanded compliments are the ones who we should be more concerned with… not the people who are receiving the backhanded compliments.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m fortunate for any compliment that comes my way. But for future reference, if you’re going to say a compliment, let’s make sure to articulate and tailor it in a way that’s actually flattering. (Oops, there it is again, the “actually” comment.

Well, I might be one of the biggest hypocrites… but at least I’m smart enough to write for Literally, Darling!

_________________

I concur with Ella’s post and it’s very resonant to the rising tide of racism, sexism and all the other nasty “isms” of our times.  GET OVER THE SUITES!  Our bodies are like that movie Cocoon to me….just a covering for a light being.

 

26 Nov 2017 – we are beings of light in flesh.

Cocoon | #TBT Trailer | 20th Century FOX

 

 

 

27 Nov 2017 “Come and See Me” (dreams)

Hello to you.  How are you doing in your present?  It’s 7:52 am on this Monday morning as I begin to write to you.  Can’t spend too much time here as we have chores today….tree trimming…yeah….can you hear my enthusiasm lol?

So lots of dreams this morning, starting about 1:42 am on.  I can tell that I recently spent time with children and yesterday during my adventures in FFXIV my character Aurora flew with a lost character Minfilia (http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Minfilia_Warde):

17 Nov 2017 – my FFXIV avatar Aurora in new duds!

Final Fantasy XIV: HeavenswardEdit

FFXIV Minfilia Returns<img src=”https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/c/cb/FFXIV_Minfilia_Returns.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/180?cb=20160212102614″ alt=”FFXIV Minfilia Returns” class=”thumbimage ” data-image-key=”FFXIV_Minfilia_Returns.png” data-image-name=”FFXIV Minfilia Returns.png” width=”180″ height=”101″ >

Minfilia’s body being used by Hydaelyn.

We speak now with one Voice. One Will. One Word. Unto thee we bequeath the most precious of gifts: the truth which lieth at the heart of this world.

—The Word of the Mother to the adventurer

After the adventurer defeats Archbishop Thordan VII and reunites with Y’shtola and Thancred, the Scions are joined by Minfilia’s close friend, Krile. With her help, the Scions discover the truth of Minfilia’s fate in Ul’dah, and attempt to find her with whatever knowledge of the Aetherial Sea they can obtain from the Antitower.

The adventurer is transported to the Mother Crystal’s realm and learns of Minfilia’s new existence as “The Word of the Mother.” She reveals the existence of Zodiark and urges the adventurer to stop the Ascians. Seemingly using the remainder of her strength in the encounter, Minfilia dissipates before returning the adventurer to Eorzea.

FFXIV Minfilia's Death<img src=”https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/e/e8/FFXIV_Minfilia%27s_Death.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/180?cb=20160819064005″ alt=”FFXIV Minfilia's Death” class=”thumbimage ” data-image-key=”FFXIV_Minfilia%27s_Death.png” data-image-name=”FFXIV Minfilia's Death.png” width=”180″ height=”101″ >

Minfilia, moments before dissipating into the aether.

Though disheartened to learn of Minfilia’s apparent demise, the Scions promise to fulfill her wishes and defeat the Ascians once and for all. They choose to keep the truth of Minfilia’s fate a secret known to only the leadership of the Scions, telling the remainder of their allies, including F’lhaminn, merely that their efforts to locate her have reached a dead end.

Some time later, Urianger manipulates both the Warriors of Darkness and the Scions into a confrontation. During the conflict, the power of the crystals held by the Warriors of Darkness combines with that of the Adventurer, transporting everyone present into the Mother Crystal’s realm, and reconstituting Minfilia. Urianger reveals that this was his goal, and apologizes for his apparent betrayal. Minfilia agrees to travel to the Warriors of Darkness’ world as Hydaelyn’s avatar in order to save it from the flood of light that threatens to destroy it, despite knowing that she will likely never be able to return to Eorzea. She bids farewell to her friends, and thanks F’lhaminn for everything she did for her, before leaving with the Warriors of Darkness.

The dreams:

1:42 am

Very clear message in dream — blue background with white letters that said, “Come and see me”  But who would I be going to see?!  Very unclear that part!

3:30 am

Children trapped in the stairwell of a school.  I can remember the railing was like a lime green color.  I helped them find a way out but going the opposite direction from where they were standing with a man who seemed to be trying to figure out how to help.  One child was “featured” in this dream kind of like one might be in a newspaper.  He had short blonde hair and blue eyes and was expressing gratitude about life.

4:59 am

This dream was about being able to fly, it was a snowy place.  I met family there who could too but then I was in a place, like a nursing home or children’s home or something – a place for sick people.  I remember trying to write down last wishes but then it was “time to go” and I left without saying good-bye.  I remember sneaking out of this place and turning a white painted door knob.  The world was green and alive and I was flying again.  I got to a clearing in a grassy field with tall grass and then I woke up.

6:32 am

In this last dream there was a little boy showing me a bookshelf and a chair that could be moved to make a place to read.  There were blankets stacked on a small couch and before I woke up from this dream, he was on the floor hugging a small purple teddy bear that seemed familiar.  I remember saying something about sneaking it back home, like I had donated it to where the boy was.

Drawings from yesterday:

25 Nov 2017 Reincarnation (dream), Mosque attack, Mysterious Booms and TransCanada major oil spill in Amherst South Dakota

Hello to you. It’s 6:50 am on this Saturday morning as I begin to write to you. I did a scan of the headlines and regretted it. My prayers go out to those affected by the attack on a Mosque in Egypt….death toll of like 300 plus right now. So sad! Another example, like the Sutherland TX shooting, even houses of worship aren’t off-limits to murderous intentions, revenge and hate. So tired of this crap!

http://time.com/5036386/egypt-mosque-attack/305 Killed in Egypt Mosque Attack State, Media Says – “(ISMAILIA, Egypt) — Egypt on Saturday said an attack on a mosque by militants in the country’s troubled region of northern Sinai has killed 305 worshippers, including 27 children, a dramatic increase in the death toll previously announced, which was 235.”

So I had a really strange dream. It was about a meeting. I was meeting someone but they weren’t fully ready yet….something about reincarnation. I remember telling someone this was my 3rd incarnation, may be my fourth. There was something about figures being stored in a box much like action figures would be. Ashes associated with these figures were stored in a separate, sometimes hidden place. I remember seeing small wooden boxes and a sliding wooden floor. There was a meeting but the man I ended up meeting wasn’t the one I was waiting for. He’s the one who told me the one I was waiting for wasn’t ready. There was a small blonde man with a pair of sewing scissors who threatened to gut me like a fish using the scissors. He was holding them near my nose and was going to cut but someone stopped him and then I woke up.

I can’t even begin to put together all the keys that unlocked this one – my dream factory just putting thoughts I’ve had and media I’ve either read or watched to a script!

In my look at the headlines I saw this about Mysterious Booms :

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/mysterious-booms-are-being-recorded-across-the-country/ar-BBFAVkL?OCID=ansmsnnews11

Mysterious Booms Are Being Recorded Across the Country

Video by CBS News

Loud booming noises have startled people across the United States, but it’s not clear what actually is happening or if the separate events are even related.

Residents in a number of states—Alabama, California, Idaho, Michigan and New Jersey—have reported hearing similar, mysterious sounds. Most recently, the noises also were heard in Colorado, CBS Denver reports.

The Monday sounds left CBS Denver’s meteorologist Chris Spears baffled. The only possible explanation Spears could conclude was that meteors from the Leonid meteor shower were bursting in the sky, creating the loud noises. However, Ron Hranac, an astronomy expert, struck down his theory saying that the meteors produced by the Leonids are way too small for this to happen, according to CBS Denver.

A day after the explosion-like noises, officials believed they had a better answer of what happened on Monday night, but they still aren’t certain.

An empty oil storage tank over-pressurized near the region where residents were calling in about the boom, Colorado Oil and Gas Conservation Commission (COGCC) officials told The Denver Channel. Due to the pressure, the lid was blown from the tank, “potentially resulting in a loud noise,” officials explained.

Following the incident, the oil and gas production company went on to file an accident report, which stated “that a malfunction of a production vessel led to an over-pressurization of a new and empty … storage tank, which resulted in the lid of the tank being compromised,” The Denver Post reports.

Furthermore, the report notes that no one was hurt and there were no environmental impacts or property damage outside of the boundaries of their property. The COGCC is now looking into the event to further understand what happened.

“The wells at the site will be closed in until equipment repairs have been made and a more thorough review of the incident has been completed,” the report said, according to The Denver Post.

Although the cause of the Colorado noises may have been discovered, other noises from across the country remain a mystery. A recent boom heard in Alabama left the National Weather Service in Birmingham taking many guesses as to what happened.

“Re: loud boom heard: we do not see anything indicating large fire/smoke on radar or satellite; nothing on USGS indicating an earthquake,” the agency wrote on Twitter. “We don’t have an answer, and can only hypothesize with you. 1) sonic boom from aircraft; 2) meteorite w/ current Leonid shower?”

However, the November 14 incident has still yet to be solved.

It makes sense that the boom in Colorado was just a lid popping off of an over pressurized tank but what about the booms being heard elsewhere. What do I think? I think it could be our “house”, the earth is shifting. I know when our little house shifts and adjusts to changes in water levels in the soil or extreme heat or cold we start hearing loud pops and booms in our house. I wonder if the same thing is going on with the earth on a global scale?

This is plausible if you consider all the natural and destructive activities that are going on all over the globe beneath the surface of the Earth’s “skin” and in the various waterways. There are nuclear bombs being tested, fracking, oil drilling, mining and any number of other activities all of which would I would believe could cause the “floor” of our earth to shift. These shifts may not always cause earthquakes at least not right away. If it’s like in our house, it may sound like it’s happening over head but it’s just an echo of sound coming from the ground. I’m not a geologist or seismologist etc. but that’s just what comes to mind about this. Or….it’s the second coming or aliens. Yeah lol. We shall see.

 

24 Nov 2017 – I was tired after such a full visit with family. Not sure what’s behind this one.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-transcanada-keystone-spill/transcanada-recovers-44400-gallons-of-oil-from-keystone-pipeline-spill-site-idUSKBN1DP012it wasn’t if there would be a spill, it was when.  You can’t drink or eat oil. 

TransCanada recovers 44,400 gallons of oil from Keystone pipeline spill site

(Reuters) – TransCanada Corp said on Friday it has recovered 44,400 gallons, or 1,057 barrels, of oil from the Keystone pipeline spill site at Amherst, South Dakota.

An aerial view shows the darkened ground of an oil spill which shut down the Keystone pipeline between Canada and the United States, located in an agricultural area near Amherst, South Dakota. REUTERS/Dronebase

The company had shut down its 590,000 barrel-per-day Keystone pipeline, which links Alberta’s oil sands to U.S. refineries, on Nov. 16 after a 5,000-barrel spill. It has not yet set an expected restart date for the pipeline, which is one of Canada’s main crude export pipelines.

Additional excavation will be conducted beyond Sunday for soil remediation purposes, the Calgary-based company said, adding, it has about 170 personnel round-the-clock on the site engaged in clean-up activities.

Preliminary inspections of the damaged section will be completed on site by both TransCanada and U.S. Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration (PHMSA) staff, then sent to Washington, D.C., for an investigation by the National Transportation Safety Board’s Metallurgical Laboratory, the company said.

“As a safety precaution, TransCanada sampled one residential water well yesterday at a location about 1.5 miles from the site to alleviate any concerns — all test results were normal,” TransCanada added.

 Reporting by Catherine Ngai in New York and Eileen Soreng in Bengaluru; Editing by Lisa Shumaker
Our Standards:The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles.

*ONLY one water well was tested?!!! They need to be testing ALL of them!  This is exactly the sort of stuff the DAPL water protectors were worried about happening.  It’s happening.  It’s like drawing blood with a faulty needle.  The oil we take from the earth is essentially the Earth’s blood. 

31 July 2012 Jackie drawing cleansing of mother earth with the sun

 

15 Nov 2017 Great Grandma Huff (Come Little Leaves poem by George Cooper), Stranger Things 2, dreams and Could Your Brain Be Hacked (AsapSCIENCE YouTube)

*19 Nov 2017 edit*  I was reading the book of poems I bought (Favorite Poems Old and New Selected by Helen Ferris, page 541) tonight with Kyle and came across the poem in the picture!  Turns out my Grandma Huff didn’t write it after all.  The author’s name is George Cooper!  My Grandma Becker apparently loved this poem and knew it by heart.  She must have translated it and just forgot to add the author’s name.

Hello to you.  It’s Wednesday morning, 7:22 am, as I begin to write to you.  Can you believe the month is already half over?!!  Somebody must have pushed the fast forward button or something lol!  People are asking questions about Christmas gifts and all that and I’m just not ready for it!  I’m pretty much just get me a gift card if you feel you must buy me something or donate to a charity in my name anymore.  I just don’t want anymore “stuff” unless it’s functional and or has a purpose.  Kyle’s parents asked what we wanted for Christmas and at first he didn’t have an answer and then remembered we had wanted to buy a small confection oven to replace our long dead microwave.  We are getting to that time in our lives where we just don’t want anymore crap to dust lool!

Yesterday I got a present via a text from my Aunt Ruthie.  She shared a poem with a picture of  my Great Grandma Huff about fall.  This beautiful poem is written in my Grandma Carol’s handwriting and had been hanging in my Uncle Walt’s office, her brother, until he died a couple of years ago.

14 Nov 2017 Poem with picture of by my Great Grandma Huff that was in my Grandma Beckers handwriting hanging in her brother Walts office now with Aunt Ruth Elliott

Come little leaves,” said
the wind one day.
“Come over the meadow
with me and play.
Put on your dresses of
red and gold,
The summer’s gone and the days go cold.”
As soon as the leaves heard
the wind’s loud call,
down they came tumbling
one and all.
Over the brown fields they
danced and flew
singing the soft little songs
they knew.
“Cricket, goodbye!” We’ve been
friends so long –
Little brook, sing us your
farewell song.
Say you are sorry to see us go.
Ah, you will miss us
quite well we know.”

The poem makes a little ache in my chest when I read it.  The way I interpret it is that we are like the leaves and when the wind makes it’s loud call, God, we fly away home and we are missed.  So many of my elder’s, my ancestors, my Ancient One’s have done as the leaves and have answered the wind’s call.  I miss them almost every day but keep them alive in heart and how I live my daily life.  There are very much alive in me.

Kyle and I binge watched some Stranger Things 2 yesterday.  It started out slow and now is just really picking up at Episode 4.  I feel like a lot of my drawings to even include the wisp people I was drawing have been leading up to me watching this darn show lol!  I’ve mentioned this before that sometimes my art seems to be like a tv guide lol.  Not very specific or very useful it feels like.  Kind of like what it’s like talking to someone in another room.  Unless you go to the person where they are speaking from,  all you get is just get bits and pieces but nothing specific enough to be really useful.  Anyhew…the show is so good!  I think because it’s set in the 1980’s, my teenage years, it really is hitting my nostalgia buttons!

I’ve really started to wonder lately if it is possible for human beings to be “hacked” by the unseen (be it stuff like Wifi signals, unseen bugs, vapors or the paranormal – God is energy and everything is energy so….even being hacked by “God?” Are we always driving the “car” that is our body?) and this show is certainly exploring that with the character Will who I really resonate with.  Watching him frantically drawing pictures of what he was experiencing in his mind really resonated with me and what I do outside with my chalk drawings sometimes.  I told Kyle last night, from my own experiences, I believe there is a world we all can see, one we can’t and the one we are told exists.

Stranger Things 2 | Final Trailer [HD] | Netflix

My dream factory didn’t generate the sort of dreams I had expected after binge watching such a show!  I guess that “production” is still in the works lol.

Instead I dreamt about shopping for clothes – fashion!  There was something about the wearing of a bandana on the head with a hat (this is from my character in FFXIV, Aurora, getting a new hat that has a bandana underneath) for Good Friday.  There was a woman dressed in a long tan colored felt or velvet dress.  She had black hair that was in a big bun on the top of her head and she looked like Eva Green (me thinking about Reeve Carney and Vanessa Ives yesterday I guess) and she was spinning in front of someone impossibly fast without getting dizzy.  Then she suddenly stopped, worrying and asking, “Did I damage the dress?” as she examined the bottom hem of the dress that had touched the floor while she was spinning.

13 Nov 2017 – My FFXIV character Aurora in new gear to include hat with bandana under it.

 

Love this

The other dream was triggered by the scene in Stranger Things 2 where Winona’s character Joyce Byers (Byers is the last name of a guy I had a crush on during Senior High School that looked like David Bowie lol), is trying to figure out how to watch a VHS-C tape in a regular VHS player.  I remember having that problem – we had an adaptor to make it so you could watch the smaller sized tape in a regular VHS machine.  My dream was about my ex asking me if I liked the adult movie he had picked out lol.  Ugh.  Way to go dream factory, way to go.

Anyhew…time to get started with the day.  I hope this finds you well.  Send some sunshiney wishes this way….gray and overcast again!

Could Your Brain Be Hacked?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AsapScience

AsapScience, stylized as AsapSCIENCE, is a YouTube channel created by Canadian YouTubers Mitchell Moffit and Gregory Brown. The channel produces weekly videos that touch on many different topics of science.[1]

The two creators have a secondary channel, AsapTHOUGHT (recently renamed Greg and Mitch) which contains videos discussing several issues (not all pertaining to science).

 

14 Nov 2017 Assigned seating irritation (movie theatres), Hingeless (Dream), A Door Without Hinges (Marty Norman) and Your Dream World (Psychology today, William Berry LMHC., CAP)

13 Nov 2017 Jackie Wygant outdoor chalk drawing dream about plane crash Alvarado TX

13 Nov 2017 – this is me trying to get that airplane crash dream out of my head!

13 Nov 2017 Jackie Wygant outdoor chalk drawing entangled Alvarado TX

13 Nov 2017 – playing with squiggles! More inspiration from that Gael Song catalog with Celtic designs. The Celts got “squiggles” to perfection! I’m not even close but definitely inspired!

13 Nov 2017 Jackie Wygant outdoor chalk drawing woman in blue Alvarado TX

13 Nov 2017 – Lady in blue with squiggles. What’s funny is afterwards we found out we could access Netflix again and saw the first episode of Stranger Things 2 finally (Madmax). This woman here is like a drawing I did of Winona Ryder back in 1993.

Feb 1993 Jackie drawing of Winona Ryder looking like actress Louise Brooks

14 Nov 2017 – this is a drawing I did back in February 1993. It’s a fusion of Winona Ryder and actress Louise Brooks.

Good morning to you. It’s 7:46 am as I begin to write to you on this gray and overcast Tuesday…missing that sunshine! How are you? I hope you are doing well.

Yesterday we were going to go and see Thor: Ragnarok (https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/thor_ragnarok_2017) at the AMC Theater in Burleson where we normally go to see movies. This particular Theater has started using the assigned seating system and we hate it! We bought tickets and admittingly sat in the wrong seats. It was a matinee and there were a lot of empty seats so we didn’t see a problem. A couple came in and apparently we were in their seats, so we moved. No problem. The opening credits started which included a war film starring Chris Hemsworth we were irritated to see a trailer for. We don’t like the reality war film genre at all…..makes sense when you don’t like war as much as we do. Anyways. Some more people came in and once again, we were in the wrong seat. We moved to what would be our seats but big surprise….people were sitting in them! Rather than ask those people to move like everyone had done to us, we just sat down in available seats nearby. Then Kyle, acting totally out of character for Kyle, was very angry and decided he just wanted to leave…get a refund. So we went to the poor man who had sold us the tickets. Kyle actually had beads of sweat on his forehead so I knew he was really mad and it was taking a lot to hold himself back from making a scene with the poor person who wasn’t responsible for a dysfunctional theater system. So I made sure to let the young man know we realized it wasn’t his fault the theater was being run in such a manner and explained why we wanted the refund. There was no way to make a complaint in the theater so Kyle did that when we got home. We probably won’t be going back to that particular theater as long as they continue with assigned seating. We could understand such a system for a premiere showing or a weekend….not a matinee. We really miss just being able to buy a ticket and find an available seat!

So I had a dream last night that was so vivid and wonderful I got out of bed at 1:54 am to write it down! I know the keys that unlocked this particular dream were my thinking and talking about the Distant Worlds concert Kyle and I saw together and reading poetry out loud, poorly in some instances as some of the words in the older poems are tricky, before bed.

I dreamt about reading stories written by children with disabilities like ADD/Autism at a benefit. I was reading as if I were the child with all the nuances of the way the child talked. The text I was reading was so vivid I actually remembered a couple of words from it and those were “hinged” and “hingeless.” These were used in the context of describing a person not a door. It wasn’t “me” reading in the dream. It was a young woman with a gentle soft face, brown curly hair and blue eyes. I remember someone saying thank you to her before I woke up.

The woman looked kind of like the character Darlene, actress Sara Gilbert, from the television sitcom Roseanne. As Kyle said to me after I told him the dream, “It probably was her, it’s who you cast for the role.” I guess the people who appear in our dreams could be like actors eh?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sara_Gilbert – in case you don’t know who Sara is

Anyhew….I loved that I remembered actual words from the dream and decided to see where they would lead me. Well I was lead to a bunch of pictures of people wearing glasses and the two articles I’m sharing that correlate quite well to what it means to be a “hingeless person.”

Being actively in the dream world is the epitome of being a hingeless person! I prefer that sort of definition to the one where a person can come completely unhinged and subsequently say and do very bad things! That correlates nicely to what happened with Kyle and I and our recent theater experience right?! Sometimes you need an extra set of hinges lol.

Time to close and get on with the day. I hope there is something for you here in all of this!

http://thechristianpulse.com/2015/04/18/a-door-without-hinges/this was the first article I found when looking for anything about what it might mean to be a hingeless person. I don’t agree with everything Marty writes here, but there are parts that really resonated with me and I’ve “bolded” those aspects. For those who are not Christians, this piece comes from that direction – just a heads up in case you walk a different path.

A Door Without Hinges

April 18, 2015 by admin Filed under Family Focus

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By Marty Norman

A door is an interesting thing. Everyone has them, everyone uses them. A working definition, for purposes of this article is: an opening that allows a body to move between two places quickly.

Recently my granddaughter Lily stayed at our house for a week. She is into Webkinz, so our first activity was to go to Target and buy Hopkins the Elephant, and Hippie the Hippopotamus. Next we got online to “adopt” these animals and give them a name.

The Webkinz site is a clever one. Once signed in, each pet owner has his/her own house. Each new pet is given a room of their own in the house. Then the owner carefully picks out furniture, beds, room colors, and favorite objects customized for them to enjoy. Each “adoptee” can travel from room to room to visit the other “adoptees”. However, to get from one room to the next they must stand in a doorway. With the click of a mouse they then move effortlessly from room to room.

In this fantasy world, doors are the key. Only by going through the door can one advance forward.

In the spiritual world, doors are also the key. But the spiritual world is not fantasy. Jesus tells us in Revelation 3:20, “I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” (NIV)

Another door – but one of greater importance – for this door leads to salvation, eternity, and to a personal relationship with the Savior. But this door is also an opening that allows our flesh and spirit to move quickly between two worlds, the spiritual and the physical.

I once read a meditation by my friend Cathy that described a door as having three hinges – a great description for physical and spiritual doors. It takes three hinges to hold a physical door in place. In the same way, in the spiritual realm, the three hinges are the Trinity, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, staples that hold a person in place, keep us on the mark, and help us advance to the next room.

But what happens to the door that has no hinges, the person who has no spiritual foundation?

Here are some characteristics of a hinge-less door.

First of all, a hinge-less door cannot be opened – no way, no how, without the ability to open and close, the door falls to the ground. There is no anchor, no connection to a foundation. A hinge-less person also has no anchor. With the slightest wind they fall for there is nothing holding them up.

A hinge-less door is also rocky. You never know when it will collapse. And when it falls, it damages that which it falls upon. The same with the anchorless person. Unaware of consequences they fall every which way, often damaging those with whom they come in contact.

A hinge-less door is unusable. It serves no purpose. The same with the anchorless person. How can they be used if they are not in step with God’s will and purpose? God uses those who stay close and in contact with him to love, heal, and bless his people.

A hinge-less door is out of control. There is no stability that orders its way. Without a Father who loves, a Savior who redeems, and a Holy Spirit that leads and guides, the anchorless person is without form or stability.

So hinges are a necessary part of the moving forward process. As believers of the “The Way”, it is up to us to carry extra hinges wherever we go, for we never know when we might be needed to stabilize a wobbly door. By introducing the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to others, by helping to anchor hinge-less doors to the God of heaven, we will be helping the hinge-less attach to the firm foundation of life.

A Webkinz I am not, but anyone can be a carpenter that works with the Savior. Now that is a door I can stay connected to – and with just a click of the mouse! How convenient is that?

Marty Norman is a wife, mother, and grandmother of five, who lives in Fort Worth, Texas. She is the author of “Generation G – Advice for Savvy Grandmothers Who Will Never Go Gray.” You can learn more about her at: www.martynorman.com, http://martynorman.blogspot.com, http://savvygrandmothers.blogspot.com.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-second-noble-truth/201301/your-dream-worldthis piece stuck out at me because I am more actively paying attention to my dreams again. I have realized for myself and mentioned it many times in my blogs that our personal perception of the world is a key factor to the life we live. A key element to the life we share with other human beings and life forms on this planet. Just because you perceive a person, place, thing or situation a certain way doesn’t make you “right.” It is only your perception, which may be completely different from another. It doesn’t make you “wrong” either…just “different.” We need different to help us navigate this life. I think if we rely only on our own perception of everything, we could be living in a lot of untruths of what reality truly is.

William Berry, LMHC., CAP. The Second Noble Truth

Your Dream World

Don’t go through life unaware you are projecting the inner world onto the outer.

Posted Jan 06, 2013

Photo by Alexi Berry

Source:

This article isn’t about dream interpretation, though the analogy is apt. The post is about how projection, which is a staple in dreaming, occurs in waking life and affects what you see. It is about no longer walking through life in a dream like state and taking the time to delve inside of yourself, to interpret your life.

In Gestalt dream analysis, everything in the dream is you. Other theories, though not outright stating everything in the dream is subjective, recognize that projection is apparent. After all it is your mind creating the images, not an actual person invading your dream. Your unconscious projects an image. The real meaning of the image lies within you, not outside in another.

Dream interpretation is very interesting and can provide clues to the unconscious. The purpose of this post is to discuss how the waking hours can do the same. There are aspects of reality we all agree upon: the weather; who won which bowl game; there is little about these aspects of reality anyone will argue. There is a great deal of room in daily interactions and activities, however, for one to have their own truth, their own perception of reality. In fact, it could be contended that the vast majority of occurrences in a day have a large element of projection.

Projection is when an individual attributes something within him or herself onto another. Basically, you see what you are. This is not new; there are numerous quotes that impart this meaning: Anaïs Nin stated, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Henry David Thoreau proclaimed, “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” Carl Jung said, “Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” These quotes, and likely many others, point to the theory that humans project their unconscious onto others. Simply, what one finds in the world is a reflection of one’s unconscious.

The idea that one is projecting much of what he or she perceives maybe difficult to accept. People rely on their thinking beyond reproach. This is understandable; one has more access to his or her thoughts than any other material. One’s thinking has likely served him well. The thought of not relying on thinking could be terrifying. However, the alternative is to walk through a dream world never interpreted.

In previous posts I have touched on the theme of subjective reality. One of my more popular posts is, “The Truth Will Not Set You Free.” The suggestion is similar here: question thinking. Evaluate it. Step outside of thought, look at it objectively and with an inquisitive mind, and evaluate it. Could all of these learned and insightful people, some of whom developed theories around projection, others who use the theories to assist others to increase happiness, have been wrong? Isn’t it possible or perhaps likely that what one sees is affected by their unconscious, by their experience, by their history? As such, how is projection affecting your vision?

To approach this differently, it is not being suggested that one simply cease having confidence in every thought and question everything. Nothing would get done. Automatic thinking serves the human race well. It helps discern between dangerous and benign situations. It allows for much more productivity. It eases living immensely. To be without it would be to become infantile.

Always functioning and trusting thinking, nevertheless, has its costs. Often one is not completely present in interactions, as the mind, the ego, is determining the next move. This might be what to say or considering what is next on the agenda. By not being completely present, and by allowing automatic thinking to operate unquestioned, one does not perceive reality accurately. Prior experience taints the present. One may not be able to see past their impression. Opportunities may be missed. Negativity focused on rather than positivity. Potential acquaintances judged and discarded without really knowing who they are. Others allowed into one’s life that one might have been better off without. All because an overused, albeit handy, tool has gone unchecked.

It is not the intention of this post to persuade one to give up on initial impressions or hunches. Often they serve an incredible purpose. In Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink”, he does an excellent job of describing how intuition and first impressions can be incredibly positive; while at other times they alter perception in a negative way leading to horrible outcomes. The purpose of this post is simply to encourage the questioning of thought and judgment, especially when it is leading to negative feeling and action. A good beginning would be questioning what we don’t like in another. Carl Jung said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Another time to begin self-evaluation is when you misunderstand someone. It is likely you were projecting your own unconscious into the misunderstanding.

Evaluating oneself can be a daunting task. Days are filled with activity, deadlines, and tasks. Automatic thinking permits a smoother, and more efficient life. Evaluating if you are projecting the unconscious takes time and an open mind. It can be an arduous task to interpret the representations you put on another, or on a situation. Questioning one’s thinking, looking within, peering into the possible ugliness that lies in the unconscious is challenging to say the least. But self-understanding, a potentially less outwardly conflictual existence, and being in the present moment more often are worth it.

Copyright William Berry, 2013

References:

Gladwell, Malcolm; 2005; Blink.

 

13 Nov 2017 Gael Song (drawing), The Didgeridoo, The Soprano’s and plane crash (dreams)

12 Nov 2017 Jackie Wygant outdoor chalk drawing Gael Song catalog pendant Goddess of threes Alvarado TX

Hello to you in your here and now.  I hope this finds you well.  I did manage to get a bit of chalking in yesterday but not much.  The weather has been very strange here, weird energy out there and unpleasant to be in.  I was inspired by a recent catalog we received called Gael Song: http://www.gaelsong.com/ to draw this pendant:

Inspired by pendant in this Gael Song catalog: http://www.gaelsong.com/ – Goddess of Threes

ALOT of dreams this past night and morning. A couple stand out as is usually the case. One was positive and the other not so much!

Dreamt about meeting with people like I used to (Carol Lee and other group members). I think I must of had the Ft Worth Holistic Fair on my mind, it was yesterday at the Stockyards. I can remember looking to see if a shop was open and there was a “store closing” sign on the door but I could see a blonde woman inside. When she saw me she got up and walked out of the store saying, “I have plenty of room at home anyway.” She was wearing a tight fitting dress the color of a peacock and wasn’t walking very steadily on her feet. Then there was an instrument like you hear in meditation groups of Gurus and the Aborigine people play and I inquired about it. A woman told me that apparently I already had one before only simpler (my three Recorders may be?) I can remember seeing crystal crosses hanging on another door that were the color of mystic topaz crystals.

My recorders – I can’t read music but like to play them

I found a couple of videos and the first one has a symbol at the start of the video that is a lot like one I drew the other day!

11 Nov 2017 Jackie Wygant outdoor chalk drawing 1124am Alvarado TX (symbol looks a lot like the one for the opening of the tea house video)

Didgeridoo Klub – hangulat a teaházból – Spiritual teahouse (long)

Didgeridoo – Hangulat a teaházból (short)

Published on May 10, 2012

Részlet – Short version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PSTR… “A hangszer eredetileg a termeszek által üregesre rágott eukaliptusz fa törzséből (vagy ágából) készül, egyes helyeken bambuszból.” “A didgeridoo úgy ismert, mint az Ausztrál őslakosok tradicionális fúvós hangszere, valójában csak Észak-Ausztráliában van — a szó szigorú értelmében vett — hagyománya.” “fonetikus írásmód : didzseridu”

English: The didgeridoo (also known as a didjeridu or didge) is a wind instrument developed by Indigenous Australians of northern Australia around 1,500 years ago and still in widespread use today both in Australia and around the world. It is sometimes described as a natural wooden trumpet or “drone pipe”. Musicologists classify it as a brass aerophone. There are no reliable sources stating the didgeridoo’s exact age. Archaeological studies of rock art in Northern Australia suggest that the people of the Kakadu region of the Northern Territory have been using the didgeridoo for less than 1,000 years, based on the dating of paintings on cave walls and shelters from this period. A clear rock painting in Ginga Wardelirrhmeng, on the northern edge of the Arnhem Land plateau, from the freshwater period shows a didgeridoo player and two songmen participating in an Ubarr Ceremony. A modern didgeridoo is usually cylindrical or conical, and can measure anywhere from 1 to 3 m (3 to 10 ft) long. Most are around 1.2 m (4 ft) long. Generally, the longer the instrument, the lower the pitch or key of the instrument. However, flared instruments play a higher pitch than unflared instruments of the same length.

Xavier Rudd-Lioness Eye

Published on Jan 9, 2013

Xavier Rudd Performing his song Lioness Eye Live in Edmonton Alberta as part of The Spirit Bird World Tour

The second dream about some kind of racketeering business. Kind of like the Soprano’s. I can remember a man driving back to a place he used to live and it was a pleasant memory for him. There were morality issues that came up in the dream. The one I remember was of a blonde woman asking another boy, “If my son wanted to drive drunk would you still want to hang out with him?”

The Sopranos Opening Theme (High Definition) – I used to watch this show. I know this is weird but my ex was half Italian and half Irish and I thought may be if I watched this show it might help me understand the Italian part of him. I know….but that was younger me.  You learn the most about people by actually asking them or spending time with them.

Then in a flash I’m standing in an airport hotel and hear the sound of a plane trying to fly through sleet. I could see it. The plane slides on top of a sheet of ice over our heads and I scream out, “It’s crashing!” There is a delay and then I watched two hotels on either side of where the plane crashed explode into flames.

I have no idea why I would be dreaming about something so horrific.  Thankfully just a dream!  Anyhew, time to get on with the day!

12 Nov 2017 Chicken Pot Pie and the Captain Jack (dream)

Hello to you.  I’m writing to you later than I normally do.  I just had a frustrating experience that may resonate with you.  I had Kyle buy some pre-made pie crusts so I could make us some chicken pot pie.  He bought Pillsbury’s version of it and they taste good but are not user friendly at all!  As you will see by my pictures.  I tried to unroll the dough and ended up with a bunch of pieces lol!  I probably should have just made my own crust a l I ended up bringing out the rolling pin anyways lol!  My consolation is that I know it’s going to taste good no matter what.  Chicken Pot pie is one of those meals that it doesn’t matter how pretty it looks, it’s going to get all mashed up when it’s eaten anyways.

It’s another wet, gray and overcast day so not looking like outdoor chalking is going to be happening.  We need the rain so no complaints from here!

Had an interesting “snippet” dream.  In dream time it was very brief.  There was something about hot baths for rich women.  I caught a glimpse of a man who looked like Captain Jack Harkness from the Dr. Who and Torchwood BBC television series.  It was dark out and he was getting ready to get into a yellow taxicab.  Just before I woke up I heard a woman’s voice say, “That’s what you get for going away.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Harkness

I have no idea why I would be dreaming about John Barrowman but that’s what my Dream Factory cooked up for me.  I hope this finds you well.