26 January 2022 Wednesday

Hello to you. How are you? I’m up really early after another battle with sleep and anxiety. This too shall pass. It always does.

The eye appointment went well yesterday. I had them take a picture of my eyes and they are looking good. Just needed a tuneup for distance vision! I walked over to the clinic and back. There was another stream I passed with some really hardy ducks but they swam away too fast for me to get a picture of them.

Very cold water the ducks were swimming in

Not much planned for today other than talking to my therapist this morning and may be getting groceries. As I write to you I’m in bed with Link and a warm blanket. A part of me wants to try and go back to sleep. Do you ever feel like just hibernating until spring?

“Right now I am at peace. All the tremors and quakes that shake me will cease. In the loving presence of the Spirit I am surrounded with warmth and security. “

25 January 2022 Feeling Better

Check out 25 January 2022 Tuesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1275516113

Good morning from here. How are you? I hope your feeling well today. I’m finally starting to feel better after almost 4 weeks. The Hydroxyzine has been helping to take the edge off of the anxiety that has been accompanying whatever I’ve been going through. Another thing I have been doing is live streaming on Twitch and that has been helpful. Sometimes interesting people show up to visit with.

A lot has been trying to enter into my space lately

In a bit I have an eye appointment hopefully everything will check out ok . It’s been a couple years since I have been in for an exam. What’s nice is the clinic is within walking distance which will be good for me!

“These days are rolling like thunder….pulling me up and pulling me under. I seek the level horizon a warmth I can feel. A safe warm place where I can heal.”

24 January 2022 Monday

Check out 24 January 2022 Monday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1274454103

Hello to you. How are you? I hope you are doing well. I’m just off stream in Twitch. I had a nice visit with a man from New Zealand today. It was nice talking about stuff I’m interested in like spirituality.

I’m a little squiggly this morning

A message from A Woman’s Spirit today: People have always wanted to talk to me about their problems. I guess I’m a good listener. May be I have something to contribute after all. – JoAnn Reed

Have you had times in your life when people would just come up to you and start talking about their troubles? You just have that face. You just have that approachable way about you. My husband had a name for that – sin keepers. People that people go to to unload their problems….their sins on. They would usually feel better and he would feel like crap. It would happen to both of us. It’s important if you are a sin keeper that you have someone YOU can talk to too.

Check out New Track Monday! | !spotify !bandcamp https://www.twitch.tv/astravert

23 January 2022 Lingering

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Sunday again and the skies are gray again. It was nice to get a little relief yesterday! I’m not feeling 100% this morning. I keep feeling nauseous. I took some Pepto Bismal, some peppermint tea and a piece of bread and things have settled down. My Aunt and I were trying to decide if we should go to church this morning and decided against it. There is so much crud going around ! I just feel like whatever I had is still lingering!

We are just living in surreal times aren’t we?!!

Seeking comfort today

“Come spirit come my comforter in times of distress. Wrap your light and love around me that I might find rest.”

22 January 2022 Saturday

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you? It’s another sunny morning and I’m digging it! This morning when I was doing my Twitch stream it felt so good on my face!

It felt good to draw this morning

On the stream this morning I read from the Big Book and specifically Chapter 5 How It Works which is where you find the 12 Steps of the AA program. Being a part of AA not only helped me deal with alcohol but other addictions I was facing in my life. One of those addictions was shopping for jewelry – a very expensive habit! Another was compulsively picking at my skin. What I discovered with the programs help is I was doing things, using things to self medicate bigger underlying problems. Acknowledging I had become powerless over my own life was one of those important steps I took. For the blessing of recovery it’s important to continue to pay it forward!

I have a fair amount of traffic on my recorded streams which gives me the opportunity to help others while I’m helping myself. It’s been my experience that we don’t go through things for no reason be it good or not so good. When I stream when I’m having trouble it’s my hope that something about what I’m going through will help somebody else. It’s the same hope I’ve always had for my blog. I hope something I’m sharing will resonate. Something will be a message someone needs to hear in that moment. We are all messengers for someone!!

The past couple days I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety – just being uncomfortable in my body. One of the things I do to help myself now is I start a Twitch livestream and just walk and talk in my house. I used to have family and friends I would call and just go for a walk but I don’t really have that anymore. So I am having to soothe myself and using Twitch is helping me do that. It helps me with my chronic loneliness too. I’m not exactly sure what the trigger is for the anxiety but it kind of comes out of nowhere and just washed over me! I’m just glad I have a tool to help me feel better. Usually someone gets on after awhile and I have someone to visit with which helps too.

21 January 2022 Friday

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hi there. It’s Friday and there is sunshine for the first day in several days! Yay!!

Glorious sunshine!!!

After I finish this I will have to get myself dressed and take Link and I for a walk. So grateful to see the sun.

My Aunt shared an interesting article with me this morning that talks a bit about some things they are finding out about the after affects of having Covid: https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2022/01/20/COVID-19-brain-fog/4131642691942/ My cousin, her daughter and me have been experiencing things like light headedness, dizziness, fatigue, brain fog and more anxiety than usual. If you have had Covid May be something will resonate with you. I just want to feel like myself again! Even after over two weeks I’m still not 100%. Oh and for folks in the states you can get four free Covid tests: https://www.covidtests.gov/

Message from A Woman’s Spirit book for today: We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people’s issues – Melody Beattie

What are you grateful for today? Gosh I am grateful for so much! God, Link, family and friends, sunshine, a roof over my head, food, clean water, heat, electricity, Twitch – so many little things! It’s important to remember that it’s mostly little things that make up a life! I hope if you read this and your having a rough time that you can pull out a mental gratitude list.

Astravert is doing a fundraiser for pancreatic cancer today: Check out JAMATHON for Pancreatic Cancer Research – !PancOneAmbassador https://www.twitch.tv/astravert

20 January 2022 Anxiety

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you ? As I write to you it’s another day of inversion. There is this gray lid over us and there is no sign of it moving! It’s so depressing.

Sometimes you have to make your own sunshine!

Last night was a lot of fun. My cousin celebrated her 52nd birthday. She came over and picked me up and took me over to my Aunt and Uncles house. We had a delicious ham dinner with birthday cake for dessert. We had some good laughs! This is the first time I’ve celebrated her birthday!

Early yesterday I had a pretty intense anxiety/panic attack. After talking with my family yesterday we are wondering if some of it isn’t related to having Covid. We have all been experiencing light headedness, dizziness and a sort of brain fog. My cousin, her daughter and I were all sick a couple of weeks and this crud is just lingering!! Does this resonate with you? We also talked about how we got sick when we are older and we just aren’t bouncing back like we used to!

19 January 2022 Wednesday

Hello to you. How are you? Today has started out pretty good. Had a good stream talking about issues associated with mania and fear. Both require self soothing. It’s important to learn how to be your own mom sometimes! “Everything is going to be ok. This will pass, it always does.” I had a viewer from Germany talking about it taking 2.5 years to see a psychotherapist!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Today is my youngest cousins birthday! Hard to believe it’s been another year!

Today I have been feeling some anxiety but listening to Astravert is helping: Check out Wednesday Friends | !spotify !youtube !bandcamp !merch https://www.twitch.tv/astravert

It’s another day of inversion here – gray! I’m trying to keep my spirits up. My cousin and I talked about this weather just being a time of rest. The rest of the year always goes so fast that we need a time to slow down. Sometimes I need a reminder!

My therapist and I were talking about how much is enough when it comes to doing things. She brought up a good point that if you are making the world a better place that can be enough! Sometimes we can get really obsessed with being productive.

18 January 2022 Light

Check out 18 January 2022 Tuesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1267771030

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. It’s yet another morning without the sun. It’s like living in a Tupperware bowl right now! Ugh! So depressing. Thank goodness for Twitch and having some nice people to talk to – it helps.

This morning when I was waking up I saw something interesting. It was a little tiny light moving around in the room for just a few seconds. I’ve seen light in the hall before but not in my bedroom. I blinked and stuff to make sure it wasn’t just my eyes playing tricks on me. Strangely wonderful. I’ve seen these lights before when I was in Texas.

Mysterious light this morning

I looked up on the internet to see what kind of explanations there might be and this was one:

This is called posterior vitreous detachment (PVD). It is very common and more likely to happen as you get older. As the vitreous pulls away from your retina you may see this as a flash of light in one or both eyes, like small sparkles, lightning or fireworks.

What I saw was one little light not a bunch of them. Still it seems there is probably a logical explanation! Here I am thinking I’m having a mysterious experience and it’s probably more getting old stuff!! The thing is it hasn’t happened a lot so we’ll see if it was just a fluke or geriatric shenanigans!

One of the topics this morning was whether or not I object to a man opening the door for me. My answer was no. I hold doors for people and consider that a courtesy. I was raised to do that! So as much as a man would do that for me I would do it for him. What do you think? Is it sexist for a man to hold a door for a woman?

17 January 2022 Support

Hello to you how are you? It’s another gray and cold morning as I write to you. Some day the sun will return!

I had a nice stream on Twitch this morning. Got to visit with Sasha from Kirov Russia and Yoda from Seattle. Some other folks stopped in – Australia. It means a lot to me that people stop by and say hello!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

I tried something different and drew this while streaming !

Yesterday I had a visit with one of my followers from Iceland. He was in a music video! He’s the guy on the bike: https://youtu.be/z04sE7L2DVw . It’s so interesting to talk to people from different parts of the world!

A little something to listen to if your into electric guitar:

Check out Monday and Chill | !spotify !youtube !bandcamp !twitter !merch https://www.twitch.tv/astravert