14 May 2018 Random

Hello to you.  It’s Monday again.  Hope that wherever and whenever you are is good.  I am feeling that surreal and random feeling this morning.  Had to have Kyle give me a kiss on the walk just to make sure it was real lol.  Have you ever had moments in your life where you need someone to touch you so you know you are really here?  For Kyle sometimes it’s a feeling like your transparent, not solid.  I’m so grateful to even have the luxury of that feeling.

A bunch of words with numbers today.  It’s so addictive for me lol.  I will look up the value of a word and then find a whole bunch of other great words on the same page!  My Aunt asked me if this was like coding.  I said I guess you could look at it like that.  For me it’s just been like having a conversation with the past.  Sometimes when I see the value of a word I will chuckle out loud to myself.  It’s kind of like being privy to an inside joke or something.  I know….”nerd” but it’s fun for me and stimulates my brain like puzzles do for other people.

I told my Aunt this morning what is interesting for me is finding the numeric value of words matching or further defining the actual definition or meaning of a word.  My favorite example is TREE, which is 48, which is 12, which is 3, which cycles back to 3.  When I think of the life cycle of a tree, I think of life, death and rebirth!

14 May 2018 – moth visitor Kyle found by our front door this morning! So lovely.

13 15 20 8

M O T H = 56

20 1 3 15

T A C O = 39 (3 cycle)

3 15 6 6 5 5

C O F F E E = 40

3 15 15 11 9 5

C O O K I E = 58

22 9 4 5 15   7 1 13 5

V I D E O      G A M E = 81 (9 cycle)

2 15 15 11

B O O K = 43

16 12 1 25

P L A Y = 54 (9 cycle)

18 5 1 4

R E A D = 28

18 15 25 1 12

R O Y A L = 71

18 15 19 5

R O S E = 57 (3 cycle)

13 15 22 9 5

M O V I E = 64

20 5 12 5 22 9 19 9 15 14

T E L E V I S I O N = 130

20 5 12 5 16 8 15 14 5

T E L E P H O N E = 100

23 1 20 3 8

3 15 13 16 21 20 5 18

C O M P U T E R = 111 (3 cycle)

23 1 20 3 8

W A T C H = 55

8 5 1 18

H E A R = 32

8 5 1 18 20

H E A R T = 52

12 9 19 20 5 14

L I S T E N = 79

18 1 14 4 15 13

R A N D O M = 65

3 8 1 15 19

C H A O S = 46

13 5 19 19 25

M E S S Y = 81 (9 cycle – had to chuckle about this one! Messes can be a vicious cycle!)

13 5 19 19 1 7  5

M E S S A G E = 69 (3 cycle)

 

 

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13 May 2018 Dreaming stone (Labradorite) and Mom’s Day

Hello to you.  Today has been a really  nice day.  My sweetheart cooked us dinner while I was outside drawing and sweating – really warm and humid today.

13 May 2018 – this drawing is me thinking of myself as a baby blue dragon clutching my labradorite ball last night. I had like 2 or 3 lucid dreams in a row! One of them is represented by the little black girl holding a pink crystal necklace. She wanted to take it and I told her no. There is also a box represented by the realtor like lady from one of the dreams last night. There is a box with two people with huge dogs – these special beautiful beings seem to show up and just disappear for me. The dogs they are with are almost like spirits more than dogs.

Hope all the folks that nurture others are having a special day.   The term “Mom” isn’t just for women in my book.  I called my Mom today and it was hard because there was so much I wanted to say but tears got to me first.  For all my Mom and I have been through, I just dearly love her and am so grateful for all the important things she managed to get through my thick skull.  This is her first Mother’s Day without her Mom and I can only imagine how surreal that would be if I were in her shoes.  We lost Grandma a couple of months ago.  We had all been praying for her to “be free” but as we all know, it’s not all up to us with these sort of things.

13 May 2018 – drawing I did after I talked to Mom

As I mentioned in my notes with the drawing, last night I decided to sleep with my Labradorite crystal ball and it was like one lucid dream after another.  This hasn’t happened to me in a long time.    Both of the orbs I have are in the picture.  Do you have a favorite crystal for dream travels?

What is Labradorite?

https://www.gemselect.com/gem-info/labradorite/labradorite-info.php

Labradorite Gemstone Information

About Labradorite – History and Introduction

Labradorite is a gemstone that was named after Labrador in Canada, where it was found on the Isle of Paul, near Nain in 1770. It has since been found in other places, including Finland, Madagascar, and Australia. After its discovery, labradorite became popular with the missionaries. Labradorite is a plagioclase feldspar which shows adularescence (a white or bluish light seen when turned). This optical effect is so unique to labradorite that it has been termed “labradorescence”. It is the result of diffraction of light in the layers of rock. When viewed at certain angles, labradorite exhibits such captivating color that has led to Inuit legends stating that the Northern Lights shone down on the shores of Labrador and were captured inside these colorful stones. The most highly valued labradorite is material that shows the full spectrum of color in its labradorescence. Labradorite that does not exhibit labradorescence can still make beautiful gemstones because of aventurescence, which is a glitter caused by diffraction of light from mineral platelets.

There are three further types of labradorite; spectrolite, andesine-labradorite and rainbow moonstone (which is sometimes referred to by the trade name, “Madagascar moonstone”). As the trade name indicates, rainbow moonstone comes from Madagascar and it has an intense blue schiller. Spectrolite is a rare labradorite from Finland. It is known for displaying a beautiful spectral play of color, hence the name, “spectrolite”. Andesine-labradorite is created by enhancing the color of labradorite.

Interesting:

Labradorite Gemstone Mythology, Metaphysical and Alternative Crystal Healing Powers Back to Top

According to an Inuit legend, the Northern Lights are captured in the minerals on the coast of Labrador. This is not surprising considering the magical, iridescent color of labradorite. Labradorite is thought to be a magical stone that possesses powerful protective properties and helps its wearer to find their true path in life. It is thought to “bring light” to the otherwise unknown, and thus provide its wearer with insight. Additionally, labradorite is credited with having the ability to bring out the positive in people and calm overactive minds, bringing peace to its wearer. Labradorite is also thought to soothe menstrual problems, aid disorders of the lungs, prevent colds, help with digestion and regulate both metabolism and blood pressure. In traditional Hindu belief systems, labradorite is associated with the throat chakra, or vishuddha, which is the center of purification. The throat chakra is associated with hearing, speech and self-expression. Wearing labradorite is thought to contribute to true and honest expression. Labradorite is said to facilitate communication between the spiritual and physical world, helping its wearer to recall dreams and experiences from past lives. It is therefore thought to help bring out psychic abilities.

12 1 2 18 1 4 15 18 20 5

L A B R A D O R I T E = 105 =6=3 cycle

 

My children:

13 May 2018 – my kids Spot and Link.

11 May 2018 Nature’s Pharmacy

Hello to you today.  Just stopping in to say hello.  Yesterday I received a box of essential oils I ordered using up the rest of a birthday gift card.  I am very pleased with them and think it was money well spent!  There are a lot of different companies that sell oils like this and some are better than others.  When I can afford it, I buy Young Living brand oils from my friend who is a distributor.  We’ve been using the ones we got yesterday in the  diffuser we picked up at Michael’s (it’s great, doesn’t require a filter!).  With both of our allergies acting up right now, having the diffuser going has helped out.  I of course geeked out and did the numbers for the oils that came in the kit and I wasn’t surprised to see several came out to the 3 cycle (life, death and rebirth).  My main “go-to” oil is mostly Peppermint.    Do you have a favorite?

 

1 18 15 13 1 20 8 5 18 1 16 25

A R O M A T H E R A P Y = 141 = (3 cycle)

5 19 19 5 14 20 9 1 12   15 9 12

E S S E N T I A L             O I L = 140

5 21 3 1 12 25 16 20 21 19

E U C A L Y P T U S = 143

6 18 1 14 11 9 14 3 5 14 19 5

F R A N K I N C E N S E = 119

12 1 22 5 14 4 5 18

L A V E N D E R = 81 (9 cycle)

12 5 13 15 14 7 18 1 19 19

L E M O N G R A S S = 123 (3 cycle)

16 5 16 16 5 18 13 9 14 20

P E P P E R M I N T = 132 (3 cycle)

18 15 19 5 13 1 18 25

R O S E M A R Y = 114 (3 cycle)

19 23 5 5 20  15 18 1 14 7 5

S W E E T      O R A N G E = 132 (3 cycle)

20 5 1 20 18 5 5

TEA   T R E E = 74

8 May 2018 Poem for my somebody

Hello to you.  It’s a beautiful morning and we have plans today to help us celebrate our wedding anniversary.  I am reminiscing a bit this morning.  Time goes so fast when it comes to the “good parts” doesn’t it?!

This was taken at Universal Studios in Florida, Jan 2005. Our first real dates together. We want to get back there to explore Harry Potter world soon!

I wrote this little poem for my sweetheart.  We have a “theme” of trees for our anniversaries.
For my husband 8 May 2018 – Jackie

Tangled, winding, ancient and green

A path to the middle

A stretch to the unseen

You woven into me, me woven into you

In the end it’s all looking up

Into the ancient blue

 

My friend EasyWeimaraner reminded me that today is an important for another reason:

Victory in Europe Day, generally known as V-E Day, VE Day or simply V Day, was the public holiday celebrated on 8 May 1945 to mark the formal acceptance by the Allies of World War II of Nazi Germany’s unconditional surrender of its armed forces. It thus marked the end of World War II in Europe.

 

28 April 2018 Drawings – The Air Is Alive

“I walked through the sky with my hands today.  Little whispers and eyes the whole journey through.  All around me blurring, whirring, buzzing and fluttering sounds of life.  A gentle waltz of nature in figure 8’s around my soul.”  – Jackie

(I live next to a busy road where the sounds of loud vehicles and stuff make meditation and connection with nature more difficult.  I am working on trying to tune the noises I don’t want to hear out.  It can be difficult sometimes even with headphones on and music playing.  I try to remember that we are all different sorts of people trying to coexist on the same plane of existence.  Many individual dimensions (people and their personal way of living) overlaying each other.  For some people peace is having their music blasting loud while others, like myself, sometimes prefer complete silence.)

27 April 2018 Quest For Peace

Hello to you this morning. Time for some therapeutic writing! I am, as we used to call our dog Sam, “Grumpicus” again this morning.  Seems to be the way things are going for Kyle and I lately lol!

I don’t about you, but sometimes it just feels like I can’t take “one more thing.” Somehow, by the grace of a power greater than us, we manage! Thank goodness my husband and I don’t have many of the other issues that many American households face each day! Lately it seems life is so complicated and much more stressful than it should have to be!  For example just trying to track down my blood tests for my doctor to make sure I don’t have toxic levels of Lithium in my blood. Everything got sorted out this morning but this is the third time we’ve been through this.  This morning I went to put a new bottle of Windex in the car so we can keep our windows clean.  Well I noticed the back window, which has a tint sheet on it, was bubbling even more than the last time I looked.  It can make it unsafe for backing out when it’s like that.  Anyhew, I said f-it and pulled all the tinting out and boy did that stink!  Just one more thing!  Our 2014 Ford Fiesta has been a challenge ever since we bought it.  We probably won’t buy another vehicle from Ford and can’t really afford to invest in another car at the moment.  We found out this morning they are going to be discontinuing their smaller car lines anyways: https://www.msn.com/en-ca/autos/news/ford-to-discontinue-almost-all-its-cars-in-north-america/ar-AAwp0FY.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we had less bills to keep track of? One bill for the house, medical (to include pets), telephone/internet and car?   I really wish there was a way to simplify my household finances.  There are days I just feel so overwhelmed I don’t want to do anything!  Missing one thing can mean having to pay a penalty.  I haven’t been in the best frame of mind lately and neglected to check my email.  Because I didn’t check it, I missed a couple of credit card bill notices and ended up getting charged a fine for it!

Sometimes I want to just go back to renting versus owning a home and car.   Kind of like what they used to do for military housing or whenever I rented an apartment.  It would make it so much easier for people who are in job professions that require them to be away a lot and move frequently.  In my opinion it would be helpful for the handicapped, disabled and elderly to be able to keep up with their home maintenance responsibilities.  When we first bought this house, there was a warranty with it.  If anything went wrong, we just had to call a number and a company checked out by the warranty company would be sent out to do repairs etc.  Having this sort of system could potentially create jobs and help bring some accountability back into businesses that are typically contracted for home repair etc.  Speaking from personal experience, it feels like you can’t even really count on the Better Business Bureau (BBB) when trying to find reputable companies to do work at our house.  We’ve used the BBB several times since moving here to Texas and we still had problems.  We don’t feel like paying a service fee for a similar company, say Angie’s List,  and probably run into the same problems!

In the car arena, I saw on the news this morning that there is something some companies are doing. They are charging a subscription fee for cars.  You pay a fee and don’t have to actually have to own the car. In this article the vehicles are pretty high end, $1,000 a month and a one time $500 activation is a bit steep but if you consider how much you pay in total to maintain a car and keep it insured, definitely an interesting idea! https://www.bizjournals.com/columbus/news/2018/04/25/dealer-adding-porsche-range-rover-more-luxury-to.html.

There was heart-warming news this morning from Korea.  They are really moving towards making peace between the two countries.  Speaking as a veteran, this is what I want to see more of in this world!  I watched some of Mr. Kim’s speech and got a really good feeling about things.  I want to believe this is a genuine move by both countries.  By their doing this, they are definitely leading by their example.  Some may call me naïve, but I am so proud of North and South Korea right now! I said a prayer for these countries today and hope that this can be an example for the rest of the world – peace is possible!

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/koreas-set-bold-goals-peace-by-year%E2%80%99s-end-and-no-nuclear-arms/ar-AAwpo0G?OCID=ansmsnnews11

North and South Korea Set Bold Goals: A Final Peace and No Nuclear Arms

Watching these two world leaders was just what I needed to see this morning. They are “being the change they want to see”, to paraphrase a quote Mahatma Gandhi said long ago. For the past couple of years, I am having trouble finding peace within myself and my immediate world.  Seeing these two men today is inspiration for me to not give up trying! We are talking peace between two entire countries which is epic when you consider how hard it can be to attain peace within your very own skin!   If I can find a way to bring that sort of peace between the two “countries” within myself, I think things will get better at my house.

I think as a way to help myself get into a better frame of mind, I will be making some dog beds today out of old shower curtains and old pillows we have that the cats used to use. Not sure if I’ll sew things by hand or get out the sewing machine.

27 April 2018 – I am contemplating a sewing project today. My allergies have been acting up so it’s something I can do inside. I am going to use old cloth shower curtains.

25 April 2018 Warranty, Guarantee and Word

Good morning to you, at least it is here as I write.  I’m up very early.  My allergies kicking in after the yard work yesterday.  Since I couldn’t sleep anyway, a word kept popping in my head and that was Warranty.  I know weird right?!  Well I guess I had that come up because of all the things that are going on with our house right now to include ants.  Yesterday afternoon I went out and followed some ants that were going from our garden, along a wooden garden fence and along the wall all the way to the front of the house!  This has been a  recurring thing for us.  Sometimes it feels like a mistake to have bought this house.

24 April 2018 ants on the side of the house looking like they are making a nest in the walls. We’ve had them get into the house and into our laundry basket before!

When we first moved in here, back in November of 2009, we had inspections done to check for insects and other things going on.  Everything came up fine.  Then shortly after we got settled in we had a major termite infestation along the back of the house and had the company Terminix come and do a treatment along the entire perimeter of the house that cost us thousands of dollars.  Neighbors told us that the original builders for the homes here had some pretty shady stuff going on and were run off.  I guess they didn’t catch them in time so that Masonite siding wasn’t put on our house which we have had to recently spend thousands of dollars to replace with aluminum siding.

Then we were paying these folks to come out on a regular basis until I started to realize that if we were killing insects, we were probably doing something to ourselves and our pets too!  I started to think about how when we would bag up our leaves and yard waste that we might be taking away the insects food etc., but after yesterday, I’m not sure that is what is going on with ants.  After all I’m not an ant right?!  They don’t think like humans do even though they are very intelligent it seems.  I’m wondering if all the new construction near us, the rise in a bunch of folks to include the those the city contracts to maintain the grass by the side of our road and myself cutting the lawn and stuff may have stirred them up into emergency mode.  They seemed to be gathering eggs and trying to hide.  Most people don’t really consider this, but I have really started to these past few years, that what we do to nature will come back, in some cases, and literally bite us.  When our homes are disrupted for whatever reason we move and I’ve noticed this also the way of insects.  I try to use the least “nasty” way I can to deal with insect problems because I don’t want my husband, dogs or myself to be affected too!

A couple of years ago, we decided to put in a new shower.  What happened is the old shower developed a leak in the floor and we couldn’t afford to fix it properly.  When we finally could afford it, we contracted a company named Bathfitters to put in a built-in shower.  What a mess that was and it had to be done more than once!  When they initially pulled everything out and there was a lot of mold from the previous shower problem.  Rather than stopping what they were doing, they just kept going and it ended up having to all be ripped out again.   Turns out there was pre-existing termite damage to the walls and an incredible amount of mold that wasn’t caught by home inspectors before we bought the house.  There were even cockroaches that seemed to have been asleep in the wall!  Wow did that ever freak us out to find huge cockroaches in the wall.  After the wall was opened up, a bunch of them came out and freaked us out so bad we taped off the bathroom for a couple of days!  Then we vacuumed them up and couldn’t believe they survived!  I felt so bad for them!  We decided to put them outside.  Any cockroach I’ve come across in the house since, which is extremely rare because we try to keep the house clean, I get back outside.

Anyhew, back to the shower.   We had to pay for someone to come and inspect the mold and do lab work which cost us almost $1,000 out of pocket. it wasn’t covered by our Homeowners Insurance.  Thankfully we didn’t get sick, which was a relief.  If anything we probably got a boost to our immune systems!  We had a Warranty with Terminix for termite damage but since it seemed to be a pre-existing condition, they didn’t honor the warranty and it felt like we had been paying for nothing.  We discontinued services with them after we had them come out and do an exclusion service for mice and rats in the attic.  Yeah…that problem too lol.  If it hadn’t been for the USAA inspector, we would have had little to now help with what we went through.  Not only did he do the inspection for the shower, this professional made sure we had an updated fire extinguisher and inspected our other water related appliances and gave us some advice on how to prevent problems.  Sadly that didn’t stop our water heater from going and flooding out our garage later but we appreciated his help.

A couple of years ago, a neighbor had her entire front walk rise up and they had already had numerous foundation repairs.  She told me she had a geologist come out and they told her that these houses with straight up slab to soil foundations shouldn’t have been built.  The geologist told her this kind of soil was for growing cotton. I don’t know about growing cotton in this soil, but I do know it is expansive clay soil that expands when we have dry weather and contracts when it rains.  I could probably make pots out of the soil when it’s wet if I wanted to,  When it’s been really dry, I’ve been able to lower the entire handle of a garden hoe into it!  After the first time I was able to do that and noticed the same thing in the field where new houses have been built,  I started putting tree branches and stuff in the huge cracks, like giving the earth stitches I guess,  to try and seal things up.  This seemed to help some with what was going on in our backyard.

It feels like every single thing that has gone wrong with our house, the HVAC going, the water heater, the fence rotting out, the existing windows being crap, the foundation of the house being cracked, the repairs we’ve had to do to the inside of the house because the foundation is bad, basically anything water related, insect issues, electrical issues….all this and more is not covered by any sort of warranty and when it is, the people who did the work are less than pleased to honor their warranty.  These are all things that go with home ownership they don’t seem to figure in when banks and mortgage companies  determine whether or not you can afford to own a home!  I want so much to be able to just live in my home and be grateful for the blessing, but it’s hard when it feels like all your doing is having to do crisis management.  Very stressful and not helpful to someone like myself going through personal issues already.

Most companies do not make money doing warranty work.  As I mentioned, the Masonite rotted out on our house so we hired Home Depot to come out and put up aluminum siding.  They contracted an independent contractor to do the work.  What are the chances that if something ends up failing on this work will I be able to have the same people who originally did the work come back and do repairs?  Not very likely.   We talked to these folks a bit, even fed them.  They mentioned being put in the position of having to get rid of materials from the job in their personal garbage!  I suggested they talk with Home Depot about this and I also included this in my feedback to the company after the job was done.

We’ve had storms since we moved here.  We’ve had roof was inspected by USAA.  They only found one panel out of place and didn’t want to replace the roof like has been done for other neighbors.  So now if we want to get a new roof, it’s basically hoping there is enough damage to call for repair or having to spend thousands of dollars out of pocket when we can afford it.  We don’t have flood insurance so if anything happens as far as water damage, I doubt we’ll be covered.

What are the chances, that my new fence is already failing because we chose not to put toxic chemicals on it to seal it, that they would honor their warranty?  The two men, both Hispanic, who I talked to didn’t seem sure they were even going to get paid for their work!  So now I’m stuck with another bad fence I have to figure out how to repair myself or take the chance at hiring someone to come out to fix.  We tried to hire our neighbor first, a veteran, but he didn’t want the job.

I can remember talking the man who did our foundation repair and we talked about a reason I suspect our foundation is having problems is fracking by the natural gas and oil industry.  I feel like the house and the soil around it gets shaken like a flour sifter.  He didn’t disagree with me.  He told me that most of what his company ends up doing is warranty work.  After the second time I called him to come out and he “didn’t find anything wrong” I just stopped calling him.  We had foundation repairs done on only half the house and probably needed it all the way around….we couldn’t afford it.

We paid over $1,000 to a person who owns his own business to come out and repair the ceilings that were a problem even before we bought the house, and all the problems that they were supposed to fix came undone almost right after they did them.  We had them come out more than once to fix their work and it got to a point why bother!   We could have taken them to small claims court but decided it was more trouble than it was worth.

Since we started this whole home adventure, one person, the person who installed our HVAC unit, has truly honored his work.  It was the owner of Cool Climate who installed the system and when there was a problem, he was the one who came out and did the repairs free of charge.

25 April 2018 – this is me using logic to tackle the meaning of words. I use the alphabet 1-26 and assign a numerical value to each word. Don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else but it does to me.

This morning I decided to “number out” the numerical values of the words Warranty, Guarantee and Word.  It was interesting to see that the values of Warranty and Word both ended up with an odd value, 3.   How I interpret this is both are subject to interpretation of more than one person.  The numerical value of Guarantee came back to the value of 1.  I interpret this to mean if you guarantee your work, it all comes back to you.  If there is something wrong with what you’ve made or something you’ve done and you made a guarantee…then if you don’t honor it, it ultimately reflects back on you and your reputation.  So to me, and from my personal experience warranties and words can be just about worthless depending on their motive for existing.  If you make a warranty on a product with no intention of ever honoring it or making it extremely difficult to be honored, why bother at all?  Why not just make good and services of such a quality you can guarantee they will be worthwhile?

What I have come to understand is home ownership is kind of a financial trap.  There is the illusion of ownership, but in truth, who is the master of the castle so to speak?  When I was in the military, we always had housing and when we could buy a house, I always chose to rent.  Renting had it’s own set of pitfalls but at least someone else was being help accountable for getting repairs done etc.  When I lived in base housing, there were standards to be met and if you didn’t meet them, you could face consequences through your chain of command.  Adapting to a world without consistent standards has been very difficult for me.  At least in the military, if I didn’t have a lawn mower or something there was a place I could go to borrow one so I could meet standards!

When we lived in Delaware it wasn’t easy living in a section 8 apartment but it was what we could afford and the only way we could keep my cats.  We got screwed many ways living there too, but at least it was easier to walk away.  I can’t just do that with this house without a high personal financial, mental, spiritual and physical toll to be taken on my husband, my dogs and myself.

The reason I’m sharing all this is because I know there must be many folks out there going through similar circumstances.  When you are going through stuff like we are, it can feel exasperating and overwhelming.  At times, this house seems almost like a person with health problems.  You fix one thing and then there are three other things wrong.  Sadly, we can only afford to fix one problem at a time and hope all the others don’t surface too quickly and  make it impossible to fix anything!