Hello to you. How are you? I hope you are doing well. I’m just off stream in Twitch. I had a nice visit with a man from New Zealand today. It was nice talking about stuff I’m interested in like spirituality.
A message from A Woman’s Spirit today: People have always wanted to talk to me about their problems. I guess I’m a good listener. May be I have something to contribute after all. – JoAnn Reed
Have you had times in your life when people would just come up to you and start talking about their troubles? You just have that face. You just have that approachable way about you. My husband had a name for that – sin keepers. People that people go to to unload their problems….their sins on. They would usually feel better and he would feel like crap. It would happen to both of us. It’s important if you are a sin keeper that you have someone YOU can talk to too.
Hello to you. How are you? Today has started out pretty good. Had a good stream talking about issues associated with mania and fear. Both require self soothing. It’s important to learn how to be your own mom sometimes! “Everything is going to be ok. This will pass, it always does.” I had a viewer from Germany talking about it taking 2.5 years to see a psychotherapist!
Today is my youngest cousins birthday! Hard to believe it’s been another year!
Today I have been feeling some anxiety but listening to Astravert is helping: Check out Wednesday Friends | !spotify !youtube !bandcamp !merch https://www.twitch.tv/astravert
It’s another day of inversion here – gray! I’m trying to keep my spirits up. My cousin and I talked about this weather just being a time of rest. The rest of the year always goes so fast that we need a time to slow down. Sometimes I need a reminder!
My therapist and I were talking about how much is enough when it comes to doing things. She brought up a good point that if you are making the world a better place that can be enough! Sometimes we can get really obsessed with being productive.
Hello to you how are you? It’s another gray and cold morning as I write to you. Some day the sun will return!
I had a nice stream on Twitch this morning. Got to visit with Sasha from Kirov Russia and Yoda from Seattle. Some other folks stopped in – Australia. It means a lot to me that people stop by and say hello!
Yesterday I had a visit with one of my followers from Iceland. He was in a music video! He’s the guy on the bike: https://youtu.be/z04sE7L2DVw . It’s so interesting to talk to people from different parts of the world!
A little something to listen to if your into electric guitar:
Hello – it’s good morning from here as I write to you. I’m listening to Astravert which is helping with some of the anxiety I had this morning. I tried the Hydroxyzine as my doctor recommended last night and I’m not sure about it. We will see! I hate the getting to know you period when it comes to trying new medications! My body is really sensitive. It didn’t make me sleepy like most antihistamines do. My Aunt said she reacted the same way on it. I didn’t sleep very well last night.
The sun is starting to shine through my front windows….it’s a new day. Feels good. I’m sitting on my little life raft with my special boy Link and not sure what today will bring. I’m trying to stay in a space of gratitude. The sketchbooks came yesterday. Turns out they are real small lol! Oh well they will get used. Part of me wishes I had ordered the tshirts so I would have something to paint.
I wanted to mention that last night I was happy to see New Baroque on his channel and he seemed to be doing well. It seemed like whatever happened got worked out. At least I hope so!
“Fellow travelers are you weary? Have the torments of this day made you teary? Wipe your eyes. Don’t believe the lies. Stay in the fight don’t lose your light.”
Hello to you. There are updates to my post this morning! Well turns out my Aunt didn’t have her knee surgery after all! There are no hospital beds in the Treasure Valley (that’s what they call the area we live in). I can’t believe they waited til the day of her surgery to tell her! They have no idea how much she’s been dreading this. Anyhew she is fine with it and just looking at the delay as Gods will. I can stop worrying !
I went to my medicine doctor today and we decided to try a different anti anxiety medication. He is having me try an antihistamine called Hydroxyzine. He was concerned that I had a panic attack Tuesday and that the Zyprexa just made it worse! So continuing with the Lithium for the Bipolar and trying something new for anxiety.
This morning I found out something upsetting in the Twitch community. A streamer I’ve been following, New Baroque, a violinist, is having to take a break from chatting because he’s getting bullied on and off stream! If you have ever seen one of his streams it’s just shocking anyone would be mean to him! Nick is one of the nicest people on Twitch! Yesterday I watched another popular streamer I follow, Barnacles, have a bit of a meltdown after there was an intense discussion about religion and he was worried he had offended one his favorite moderators who is a Christian. Turns out she seemed to leave only because her internet was flaking out! Barnacles was gutted and his stream was abruptly cut short. Being a streamer – heck just social media – can be brutal! If you have a heart it’s hard to take some things. So far I have not experienced any bullying or trolls on my streams – thank God!
Hello to you. How are you? It’s an overcast day here but listening to some music from Astravert helps: Check out Thorsday Jamz | !spotify !youtube !bandcamp !twitter !merch https://www.twitch.tv/astravert – you can watch the stream even if it’s not live. Got my coffee. Praying about my aunt having knee surgery today. Have an appointment with my medicine doctor in a bit. I hope he’ll have answers for me if we are on the right track with my medicine. I’m still getting over that damn cold. The past couple of days I’ve been feeling light headed hopefully that’s just remnants! I really want to be over it! I need groceries on the way home and am kind of dreading going with so many people being sick.
Yesterday I streamed on Twitch a lot. I actually got a chance to visit with a couple interesting people. One was a woman in training to be a therapist and last night an applied math scientist. I love it when that happens. I love hearing peoples stories and love sharing mine. The scientist asked me about what I considered one of my craziest times in my military career and what came to mind was 9/11. I’ll be honest that day really f-d up my world and those of the people I was working with at the time! We were in shock!
Anyhew- feeling a little scrambled this morning. Trying to pull it together. Had my talk with the Holy Spirit this morning – trying to make a habit of welcoming his presence everyday. Thank you for coming by! I would love to hear from you if you have the time.
Hello to you how are you in your today? I hope we’ll. This morning I had to ask for a little extra help….mornings are just rough. I asked the Holy Spirit to be with me and after I asked I truly felt his presence. I felt a warmth emanating from my chest. Like I was saying on my Twitch stream yesterday – the Holy Spirit is real and you can have a personal relationship you just have to ask.
I’ve really been using Twitch lately as a tool to help myself help others. It’s kind of like chairing an AA meeting of one (sometimes) and sharing your experience, strength and hope. For a long time I’ve felt that even if I reach one person, even if it’s just myself sometimes then I’ve done well. A lot of times I get on to stream and there is only one viewer! Lately there have been a couple views on the videos after I do them which means a lot. I noticed that Twitch only keeps a couple weeks worth of videos.
Hello to you today. How are you? I’m feeling better. I still have some of the crud I picked up lingering but it’s not nearly as bad as it was. My cousin, another earth angel, visited me yesterday with some more get well provisions and that really helped. I’m so blessed!
Listening to Astravert this morning on Twitch he’s celebrating his 1 year stream anniversary. Here is link if your interested in hearing some unique music – reminds me a lot of the Hearts of Space program I used to listen to: Check out Celebrating 1 Year on Twitch! Jamathon to 100 Hundred Jams! | !spotify !youtube !bandcamp !twitter !merch https://www.twitch.tv/astravert
Hi how’s your day been? It’s been a gray mushy and slushy day both outside and in my brain. I’m feeling better but still uncomfortable trying to be comfortable lol! My nostrils are raw and I have been feeling light headed….yucky!
Today I was brave again and ventured in to the spare rooooom and tackled some more files. Part of me just feels like saying fuck it and just emptying the room. Just get rid of everything…..but I won’t! Still too sentimental. While I was in there I glared at my POS (piece of shit) printer I’m thinking about replacing. I haven’t replaced it because I know the same scam will come with a new printer – all too quickly it will run out of ink. That’s how they get you. Sell you a cheap printer and charge you through the nose for replacement printer cartridges! Yeah so not in a hurry to do that.
The other thing I did today was look to see if there were any videos of my high school crush’s alter ego Roxy Marquis performing and sure enough there were! Seeing him lip sync Madonna transported me to the two of us driving in his blue Malibu with Madonnas “Get into the Groove” playing in the background. I’m still processing his passing on. There is a part of me that wishes I hadn’t gone back checking on him. I just didn’t expect he would be dead. That he had suffered for 4 years with lymphoma. Sigh. Life isn’t fair.
So it’s getting dark…..
“Where did you go tiny piece of star stuff? All smiling golden and ocean blue what has the Universe done with you?”
Hello to you. How are you? Hopefully staying warm! It’s a balmy 22 degrees here as I write to you. Winter is definitely here. I’m so grateful Link and I have a warm shelter. Even as we near 2022 there are people without affordable housing.
So I rousted myself with some Heilung and my little drum this morning. My little drum circle idea rose and fell this year. It’s ok. I don’t regret buying the drum. It gets lots of use.
“Primal beat of my drum and ancient calling, steam rises from my coffee…snow is falling. A warm hearth and home within my heart can be found. An echo of the beginning sound.”
As I sit here this morning I wonder where we are heading in this world. Where am I heading. Things are doing things…..I keep trying to stand still in time but it doesn’t work that way. How do I graciously embrace the inevitable? Lately I’ve been feeling like my mind is in an in between place. When I feel this way I don’t get to just live my life and move forward with it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the flow….that stream of existence where time doesn’t matter. Your doing what God put you here to do and that’s all you want to do! All you want to do is be in that “sweet spot” with God.
Sometimes when I’m writing I get the place I desire to be. It’s warm and safe. The words just flow and I don’t want it to end but it always does. I had these sort of feelings when I would sit outside in Texas and draw with chalk. I would sit outside for hours and just draw. I felt such a direct connection with God. What was nice is my drawings lasted until the rains came. Then I would have a fresh canvas. I used to draw spaceships that sailed off with the rains. Where I live now I don’t have a slab in the backyard to draw on. I just have a driveway in the front yard and I’m a little self conscious about doing my drawings there.
I believe God isn’t done with me yet. There is a reason I still exist. I have to remind myself that the reason(s) aren’t always big ones. One of my favorite Saints is Therese of Lisieux: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th%C3%A9r%C3%A8se_of_Lisieux and the reason is because of how she believed in serving God in little ways. Every time I smell roses I think of her. We each have a part in Gods play. Some are major parts and some are very small but they are all important. Sometimes we are destined to live the little way and have to find peace with that.