17 May 2018 Drawing and Dream

Hello to you.  Hope this finds you well today wherever and whenever you are tuning in from.  Feeling gratitude today.  I had a weird dream last night/this morning.  It was about some hotel/hospital where people were going to get plastic surgery.  I saw Prince there and it was like his face was stitched on and it was a white version of himself.  This was the case of many of the people I saw there.  I think this dream was triggered by the CNN show we watched last night, “Video Killed The Radio Star.”  Since it was from the 80’s, they of course mentioned artists like Prince, Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.  They talked about how difficult it had been for musical artists of color to break through on MTV.  They have a clip of an interview where David Bowie asked one of the MTV VJ’s why there were so few videos with black artists and he got a bullshit answer.  You could tell by how David responded that he wasn’t falling for it!

David Bowie Criticizes MTV for Not Playing Videos by Black Artists | MTV News

It made my heart ache to think on how many artists I knew and loved from the 80’s like Prince that are no longer here with us!  It’s a tough gig to choose to be a performing artist!  I miss them and am grateful for their contributions to such a big part of my developmental years.

16 18 9 14 3 5

P R I N C E = 65

3 1 20

C A T = 24 (3 cycle)

16 21 18 16 12 5

P U R P L E = 88

5 25 5

E Y E  = 35

2 9 18 4

B I R D = 33 (3 cycle)

16 12 1 19 20 9 3    19 21 18 7 5 18 25

P L A S T I C  (80)      S U R G E R Y (113) = 193

Prince – When Doves Cry (Official Music Video)

Prince – Thieves In The Temple (Official Music Video)

 

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16 May 2018 Is this all just a dream?

Hello to you.  It is Wednesday in my timeline but it feels like Friday already!  Had a fun dream this morning.  I was with an old co-worker from when I was working in Personnel Systems Management for the Air Force.  I bent a piece of metal with my mind and levitated a rose quartz crystal – apparently my right hand was stronger in the dream for such things lol!  My friend was in disbelief at what he had seen, so I repeated it.  I told Kyle this is why I enjoy the dream world so much.  In the dream realm I fly invisible ships, have wings, can just jump and fly out of a tree.  In my dreams I can visit other worlds and as of last night,  bend metal and levitate crystals with my mind!  Way cool!

Speaking of dreams.  Yesterday we “publicked” and went and got the tires on our car rotated and did a Target run for our favorite liquid soap, Dr. Bronners: (https://www.drbronner.com/).  Exciting right?!  Well when we checked out at Target, the clerk named Robbin seemed to be having a day like I mentioned to you, that surreal feeling like nothing is real…like everything is just a dream.  I took her hands in mind to try to reassure her we were all real.  She still was left wondering about reality but a little more grounded I think!  I guess working in a place like Target could put you in that state of mind!  So many nice things that most of us can’t really afford.  We wandered around in there and talked ourselves out everything but absolute essentials.  Not easy!  I’m pretty sure Robbin’s wages don’t allow her to buy much where she works.

19 15 21 12

S O U L = 67

18 5 1 12 9 20 25

R E A L I T Y = 90 (9 cycle)

5 18 5 1 13

D R E A M = 41

20 9 18 5

T I R E = 52  (funny that tire and door have the same numeric value!)

4 15 15 18

D O O R = 52

23 1 6 6 12 5

W A F F L E = 53 (it cracks me up with words like this – essentially a waffle is a kind of wafer and they have the same numeric value)

23 1 6 5 18

W A F E R = 53

13 21 19 9 3

M U S I C = 65

Dreamt about some men this morning who looked like they may be from Hawaii or Samoa (been praying for Hawaii a lot lately!).  One of them was playing an instrument that I have come to find out today actually exists!  The Coconut Thumb Piano, Kalimba or a Mbira which actually has origins in Africa:

(Redirected from Thumb piano) The mbira is an African musical instrument consisting of a wooden board (often fitted with a resonator) with attached staggered metal tines, played by holding the instrument in the hands and plucking the tines with the thumbs.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thumb_piano

Origin

It is said that before globalisation, these instruments could only be found in Africa and where African descendants lived. Therefore, the thumb piano we know in the West, called kalimba, is a modernized version of its African ancestors.

Many tribes, all across the continent, have developed their own unique thumb pianos over the centuries. Because the languages and cultures of these tribes vary so much, so do the names and traditions of their instruments.

Thumb Piano Coconut Natural

Program we started watching, kind gives me an “ache” inside…man I’m getting so old!

https://www.rediscoverthe80s.com/2017/02/recap-of-cnns-the-eighties-miniseries.html

The Sixties, The Seventies, and The Eighties Intros- CNN ***HD QUALITY***

 

14 May 2018 Random

Hello to you.  It’s Monday again.  Hope that wherever and whenever you are is good.  I am feeling that surreal and random feeling this morning.  Had to have Kyle give me a kiss on the walk just to make sure it was real lol.  Have you ever had moments in your life where you need someone to touch you so you know you are really here?  For Kyle sometimes it’s a feeling like your transparent, not solid.  I’m so grateful to even have the luxury of that feeling.

A bunch of words with numbers today.  It’s so addictive for me lol.  I will look up the value of a word and then find a whole bunch of other great words on the same page!  My Aunt asked me if this was like coding.  I said I guess you could look at it like that.  For me it’s just been like having a conversation with the past.  Sometimes when I see the value of a word I will chuckle out loud to myself.  It’s kind of like being privy to an inside joke or something.  I know….”nerd” but it’s fun for me and stimulates my brain like puzzles do for other people.

I told my Aunt this morning what is interesting for me is finding the numeric value of words matching or further defining the actual definition or meaning of a word.  My favorite example is TREE, which is 48, which is 12, which is 3, which cycles back to 3.  When I think of the life cycle of a tree, I think of life, death and rebirth!

14 May 2018 – moth visitor Kyle found by our front door this morning! So lovely.

13 15 20 8

M O T H = 56

20 1 3 15

T A C O = 39 (3 cycle)

3 15 6 6 5 5

C O F F E E = 40

3 15 15 11 9 5

C O O K I E = 58

22 9 4 5 15   7 1 13 5

V I D E O      G A M E = 81 (9 cycle)

2 15 15 11

B O O K = 43

16 12 1 25

P L A Y = 54 (9 cycle)

18 5 1 4

R E A D = 28

18 15 25 1 12

R O Y A L = 71

18 15 19 5

R O S E = 57 (3 cycle)

13 15 22 9 5

M O V I E = 64

20 5 12 5 22 9 19 9 15 14

T E L E V I S I O N = 130

20 5 12 5 16 8 15 14 5

T E L E P H O N E = 100

23 1 20 3 8

3 15 13 16 21 20 5 18

C O M P U T E R = 111 (3 cycle)

23 1 20 3 8

W A T C H = 55

8 5 1 18

H E A R = 32

8 5 1 18 20

H E A R T = 52

12 9 19 20 5 14

L I S T E N = 79

18 1 14 4 15 13

R A N D O M = 65

3 8 1 15 19

C H A O S = 46

13 5 19 19 25

M E S S Y = 81 (9 cycle – had to chuckle about this one! Messes can be a vicious cycle!)

13 5 19 19 1 7  5

M E S S A G E = 69 (3 cycle)

 

 

9 May 2018 Avengers movie (Spoilers), numbers, drawing and Wakfu (animated series)

Hello, hope this finds you well.   My allergies are saying hello big time these past couple of days.  Tis that time of year for nature to be doing things that make my immune system fuss.

Well to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, we went to see Avengers Infinity War.  My husband enjoyed it more than I did.  What I’m struggling with is going to the theater, holding my bladder for 2  plus hours and leaving the theater overwhelmed, sad and slightly disappointed.  Twist the eye of Agamotto (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_of_Agamotto) back to our anniversary in 2012!  We went and saw the first Avenger’s movie on that day and it was a totally different story!  We came away from the theater so pumped up and excited!

8 May 2012 – we went to see the first Avengers film for our wedding anniversary date!

What I’m seeing happen to these Marvel movies is what happened to the Harry Potter franchise for me.  The first couple of movies were balanced and “lighter” and then just progressively got really dark and depressing to the point I didn’t even go to the theater to see them!   When I actually take the time to go a movie theater to have that experience, I want it to be a positive experience and it just hasn’t been for several years for me.  We actually heard people crying in the theater when we left it yesterday!

To be fair, there was ALOT going on in this movie.  I will probably have to watch the movie a couple more times to continue to process all of it.  I had to do that with Dr. Strange.  I didn’t like that film either on the first go around.  They managed to squeeze in like 30 plus main characters and added a few extras like Peter Dinklage’s ginormous dwarf to the mix (we loved that!)  There were quips that made me laugh out loud that did help break up some of the tension.  It helped me a lot when the Guardians of the Galaxy folks showed up in the film but even that got really dark.  I mean they killed Gamora! BOO!  (Zoe Saldana: https://movieweb.com/zoe-saldana-hollywood-walk-of-fame-star/)!  I actually got goosebumps when they went to Wakanda which is Black Panther’s world.

The end of the film was surreal for me and I honestly didn’t feel anything about it.   I guess it’s because I know that all the writers have to do is rewind time or come up with some paradox and everyone will be resurrected.  Seeing Thanos in his happy moment at the end,  made me think of Marlon Brando from Apocalypse Now for some reason.  There he was all peaceful while we the viewers know countless lives, to include those of superhero’s we care about, have been reduced to literal dust.

Apocalypse Now: Marlon Brando Horror Speech

I was of course curious what the “numbers” would say about some words pertaining to the film:

1 22 5 14 7 5 18

A V E N G E R= 72 (9 cycle)

6 9 3 20 9 15 14

F I C T I O N = 76 = 13 = 4 = 2 = 1

1 14 20 1 7 15 14 9 19 20

A N T A G O N I S T = 120 = 3 cycle

16 18 15 20 1 7 15 14 9 19 20

P R O T A G O N I S T = 154 = 10 = 1

8 5 18 15

H E R O = 46 = 10 = 1

22 9 12 12 1 9 14

V I L L  A  I N = 79 = 16 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 = 4 = 2= 1

13 1 18 22 5 12

M A R V E L = 71 = 8 = 4 = 2 = 1

20 8 1 14 15 19

T H A N O S = 77 = 14 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 = 4=2=1

9 14 6 9 14 9 20 25

I N F I N I T Y  = 106 = 7

23 1 18

W A R = 42 = 6 = 3 cycle (3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 = 3 and back again)

8 May 2018 – drawing I did yesterday that kind of correlates to Wakfu anime we’ve been watching. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wakfu_(TV_series)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wakfu_(TV_series)

WAKFU Series – Trailer

17 April 2018 Edits and ideas about the future I would like to see

Hello to you.  I hope that wherever and whenever this finds you that you are having a good day.  This phrase where and when comes from watching a scientist named Mehran Tavakoli Keshe of the Keshe Spaceship Institute.  Ever since I started to try to follow his work back in October of 2016 I think it was, I have planted a seed in my heart for his work.   It was so exciting to see what he and all the wonderful people also inspired, are trying to do with the technology he is sharing.  He inspired me to try more experimenting in my kitchen!  Seeing and hearing what he was proposing made me think of the visionary Gene Roddenberry of Star Trek.  When I was in the United States Air Force, my dream was for their to be a purple force.  I talked about this with many people I worked with.  My vision was for all branches of the armed forces to unify for one mission of peace.  I would love to see people, if they wanted to, to be able to join with others to go to regions of the world and be goodwill ambassadors of peace-making.  I would love for them to be able to hug people, help people get on their feet again and not have to worry about their well-being or safety.  It is a utopian view I know….probably even childish in a way but that is my way of thinking.  Not everyone would necessarily share my point of view especially if they have been on the receiving end of unfair activities.  It is not my place to say….”above my pay-grade.”

I wanted to recommend to anyone who regularly reads my writing here of the many, sometimes, severe edits to the blog.  I have deleted countless pictures, my art and words out of concern for others.  My original intention at starting this blog was to write for myself like a journal and it has become much more than that.  I have censored myself and part of this is because I would take some time after I wrote something and realize I didn’t have all the facts or was writing about things I didn’t know everything about.  I only had my perception or view and my sources were from the internet which aren’t always reliable.  Even the sources I thought I could count on seemed to have faults with them or someone would say or write something to discredit them like snopes.com.

Ironically, it is from President Trump and his proposal of “fake news” that I started to question even myself but this isn’t a bad thing.  Not everyone would agree with me.  I decided some time ago, after disputes about his Presidency were creating rifts between my family and friends, that possibly our parents knew something I didn’t.  I started to think about him differently, like a “Trump” card.  I began to wonder if he was actually trying to help us in the opposite way we might expect.  I wondered if everything he and other world leaders were doing was their way of attempting to fix this mess we have been in without our even realizing it.  I began to wonder if he might actually become of the greatest presidents we’ve ever had and I say that not knowing if he was conscious of his behavior.  I decided that I would change my perception of him like I have done for anyone I have come to know in world history, to include  Adolf Hitler.  What I came to understand, for myself, a long time ago is that based on my life, who am I to judge anyone?  I don’t believe anyone is perfect and I don’t believe perfection even exists.  Someone once said, there is perfection in imperfection and I believe that.  This is just me and my opinion.  Everyone has their own opinion and personal perspective on this life and I respect that.  Sometimes it’s hard to get many “passionate” perspectives to communicate but I believe it is possible if we find a way to agree on what we have in common.  This is a good place to start and many very smart people have shown me this by their example.

I am nattering on as my friend Les often says of herself in her letters lol.  I hear my neighbor cutting their lawn at the moment and my back yard is very high but I wouldn’t be embarrassed if anyone saw it.  I don’t choose to cut my yard anymore for more than just not having a lawn mower (we tried an electric/corded mower and it didn’t work out).  I worry about all those I harm when I cut the lawn.  I have wounded crickets and other beings by mowing and those wounded have come to me while I’m in the backyard.  We became “friends” and I started to realize the connection between us and nature through these wounded insect warriors.  If you look at life at each level, it’s all the same but just a little different.  So I try to do the least amount of yard work that I have to so as not to harm anyone.  I could hire people to take care of the yard etc., but I know they aren’t like me.  I keep the front yard to “city” standards (like military standards) but don’t like doing it anymore.  I used to cut the lawn and not care about the other lifeforms but once I started to care about them, to include all the trees trying to make new families, my entire perspective changed.

Some of my greatest teachers are like the cottonwood tree in my neighbor’s yard that was struck by lightning instead of our house.  They let their offspring, seeds, go and sometimes they land on fertile soil and sometimes they land at my back porch or in my HVAC unit.  During an outside  meditation I had some time ago,  I started to think of what these trees do.  I began to think of symbiosis and  how life on this planet may have started.  There is a nature photographer, his name escapes me but I shared his work here before, that inspired me to think of nature in this way.  This is ONLY A THEORY not a fact!  Here is a post I wrote about this some time ago: https://saymber.com/2015/05/07/7-may-2015-in-the-beginning-there-was-symbiosis/.   I am providing the link but will have to edit this.

5 Feb 2017 – I did this yesterday and it was very therapeutic drawing so many little boxes to form a Pecan Tree 🙂

Sometimes I link articles and items of interest to me from other places to give my sources.  I don’t always know if I have permission to share what is on the internet here.  I will be doing less of that in the future.  If anyone should come across something I’ve linked and or shared and you would like it removed, please let me know in the comments section of this blog.  In order to make comments, I think, but am not sure, you must have an account.

 

25 Feb 2018 Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down – Today is Sunday

Good morning!

I made a little video this morning to make a point about something.  The funny things is, the point didn’t come to me right as I was doing this!  I came to the realization when I went to share the video with family and friends on Facebook that my options for acknowledging the content of the video didn’t seem appropriate – namely the “Like” button.  It hit me that when I click Like on things that I don’t, that I’m giving my personal power and energy to manifest more of what I would actually like to see, hear and feel less of in this world!  So if you decide to watch this, and what I have to say resonates with what you feel about the subject, please feel free to give it a thumbs down!  I am hoping you will.   I noticed the view counter for You Tube is counting every time I look at the video from another location so the current number of 8 is just me.

I do not collect an income or royalties from blogging, I do it for me, so I do not consider myself “working” at the moment.

18 Feb 2018 Who are we now?

Hello to you.  It’s 11:45 am on this cool, gray Sunday.  I just wanted to share a positive word.  I feel like I am discovering a way to be useful in this world, and it’s not an easy process but a process just the same – seeking and finding the positive things in people, places and things.   I used to be really good at this – when I was a child of course.  Well thankfully, inside, I still feel my inner child very much alive!  The part of me that our Sam taught me to hold on to – there are no strangers in this world, just family you haven’t met yet.  Not just friends, FAMILY.  Why do I say that?  With my understanding of God as energy.   If everything is energy and everything is God then that makes us all – every single form of life know and unknown – family!

Anyhew.   In my meditation this morning, the message that came forth was about how the past can hang and or trip us up to getting to where we want to go.  I have shared this before here but I will share it again:  “It’s not who we were in the past, it’s who we are now.”  The God of my understanding doesn’t care about the past because Time is our device.  The God of my understanding doesn’t care about what mistakes we’ve made in the past only if we don’t learn from them and intentionally keep repeating them.  If we don’t even try to make amends to those we’ve wronged to include ourselves.

As I sat outside doing this drawing and meditation a thought occurred to me for places we could start making amends – prisons of all kinds, nursing homes, mental health facilities, rehabilitation centers and our churches.  All the places for humans, animals and plants that could be considered cages.  Unconditional love and forgiveness has not been taught or learned by many.  What if we were to work together starting in a place we all share….the heart?  Just a thought…an idea with a positive intention and or motive.

 

13 Feb 2018 Seek First to Understand

Hello just a quick post.  I wanted to share some thoughts that came to me today.  I had been feeling anxious and my brain was running pretty fast and I’m tired from not sleeping so well the past couple of nights.  So I grabbed my chalks, even though it is cold out (if you dress appropriately the cold isn’t so bad), and these thoughts came to me….specifically the words of one of my favorite prayers.  The part about seeking to understand versus always being understood specifically.  Most of my life I’ve tried to do the understanding part but it’s not always easy.  Sometimes you want others to “get you” to understand why you are the way you are and you can’t tell them the whole story of why because they have their own problems too.   It’s hard to focus on other people’s “stuff” when while they are talking, you are thinking about your own self the whole time….”what’s in this for me?  why should I care?”  It’s hard to be selfless and empathetic and or caring and also take care of, even “protect” yourself from others stuff.  This is where compromise, respect, treating others like you would want to be treated and healthy boundaries and all that good stuff comes into play.

Anyhew – hope something here resonates.  One person can’t fix a mess as big as the one we’ve got here on Earth.  I know I didn’t make all this mess but I did have my part in all of it.  We each have a part in the mess and have to find our way of working towards a loving, peaceful, non-violent solution to it.  It didn’t happen overnight!  The phrase that keeps coming to me, “Trust the Process.”  For me that means having faith in myself and the God of my understanding that there is a plan in all of this.

 

12 Feb 2018 Blue TV Screen (dreams) and Time to make amends (edited version 17 April 2018)

(edited 17 April 2018)

Hello to you.  Just a short note to help me process a couple of dreams that woke me from my sleep.  The first one was scary until after I processed it and went back to bed.

What happened is I dreamt I was in bed and Link was next to me and kept growling like he really does.  Then he was on top of my legs like he was protecting me from something in the room.  There was someone there but I couldn’t see them but Link could.  I got up out of bed and was able to see in the dark.  I was slapping my hands together in front of my face like someone was there trying to get inside me.  I was yelling at “them” to “get out!” over and over again. I chased them to the living room and I saw a blue television screen in the darkness and whoever, whatever was in front of it and just disappeared and the tv shut off.  I woke up yelling and screaming which of course upset Kyle.    The living room the dream was in, was like mine but in a different “configuration.”

What came to me, trying to process this dream and calm myself down, was it was not meant to scare me, it was information.  Recordings are like the Horcruxes  in Harry Potter.  We “choose” who had immortality in this process (tv, movies, books and music).  The energy of our attention (adoration) and the emotions attached to what we watch determines what kind of immortal those recorded will be.  Often conflicted.  This brought forth E=Mc2 from my reading about Albert Einstein’s life.  About how yesterday I came to understand Hiroshima was like splitting God into two parts – turning energy against energy….God against themselves!  What came to me this morning also was remembering about God being a jealous God in the Old Testament,  isn’t jealousy a human emotion?  What I have come to wonder is if Time is God’s way of both punishing and loving us for making mistakes like Hiroshima.  Like them saying to us, “I will give you “time” to make amends.”  I visualized us, this whole earth being like one of God’s snowglobes.   Who else but a God could make Time?  I know….out there to think such things but that’s how I think – how things are “alike” more than “unalike” which is a phrase I have heard from poet Maya Angelou.  It is in this way of thinking I have come to this God of my understanding.

 

The second dream was very short but woke me up also because it was so vivid.  It was about being in church or somewhere like it and reading a passage and it being the same frequency as someone else reading it.  Then for the second time I go back and there is a young man with dark hair and eyes with those black horned rimmed glasses who is like a “substitute” for someone else when I come again.  He wants to read with me and just before I begin to read I can hear him whisper  “I love you.”  Then I woke up.  There are a lot of people I admire, of many different walks of life, that wear those sort of glasses so it could have been anyone.

Recently I bought a book about the life of Albert Einstein written by Elma Ehrlich Levinger from Half Price Books in Burleson TX.  I haven’t quite finished it, but what I have read so far has been very interesting.  I remember hearing or reading something about him saying that he hoped when he closed his eyes after looking at the moon that it would still be there when he opened his eyes.  He would have been an interesting person that I would have liked to meet to talk to him about my perception of God as energy.  I have had many people teach me about energy.  One recent person was Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer.   I really enjoyed season 1 of his show and learned a lot from it and also his web site.  He taught me about better ways to walk our dogs by understanding that our state of mind when we walk our dogs can literally be sent through the leash to the dog we are walking.  I had at one time expressed a hope that he could come to Alvarado TX and help our Animal Control folks with all the large dogs they are having to find homes for.

Before Cesar was a man named Nikola Tesla.  Nikola is a man from history that I feel is so important and I am so grateful he existed.   Many years ago, I lived in Colorado Springs Colorado where they had a museum dedicated to his work there.  I regret never having made the time to go and see it.  He is a man from history, along with several others, that I kind of had a crush on lol.  I think this is because they remind me of my Dad when he was a young man.  My Dad was very handsome when he was younger and like me, didn’t really get a chance to enjoy the person he was then.  My Dad did his very best to make sure I had food, clothing and shelter all by himself and this was very difficult.

I’m not very close with the family of my past for many reasons.  Since moving here to Texas, I have had several problems that were similar in nature to what my Mom Jeanne went through.  I think, but do not know for certain, that this might be a contributing factor to our distance.  When I am around family and people from my past, old baggage gets unpacked in my head and this is very difficult for me.  I am hoping that for my future, I can get a fresh start.

To close, something really important about what I’ve shared here is principles I learned from attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings.   In AA we learned about the 12 steps and also about making amends to those we have harmed.  Sometimes, I have found from my own experience, it can do more harm than good to make amends with some people.  Sometimes it’s better if you just go your own separate ways.  I have had to do a lot of healing on my own, away from the people of my past.  Having those same people back into my life would possibly cause me more personal harm than good.  It’s not to say I don’t want that the people from my past to exist and have their own lives, they just don’t have to be part of my current life.  It is my right as a human being to decide who is and who isn’t part of my life.

There are people in the world I haven’t met yet that I would like to meet.  I will turn this over to the care of the God of my understanding, energy.  I hope something here has resonated with you.  This edit, 17 April 2018, is me revisiting past blogs that I have here and providing more details or context.  I am not a healthcare professional, a doctor, a scientist or anyone like that.  Please, as you read what I write here, use discernment and or critical thinking.  Read and then decide for yourself if this resonates with you.  If it does not, please keep searching for your messenger.   Whatever I share here comes from one place, my heart and love energy.

My husband and I go over these blogs before I write them and he sometimes reads them on his own.  I hope reader that you have a good support system to help you today.

(A personal request I have is if you choose to use any of the material here, any of my pictures or art that you do so with the same intention with which I intended, not for profit.  There are people in this world who can’t afford to buy books or attend self-help workshops and might benefit from what I share here.  My intention at making this blog was never to profit from it, just to try and help anyone who might stumble into it.)