28 May 2022 Insanity

Hello to you. How are you today? It’s Saturday here as I write to you and I’m still struggling to climb out of the valley I’m in. Last night everything was going good for sleeping and then I woke up to a violent crash. Link either fell or jumped off the opposite side of the bed. It was hard for both of us to get back to sleep. The way he was acting was like the whole thing scared him. Certainly freaked me out. He’s never done that before.

I have been sitting here trying to find positive and uplifting words to share with you. It’s hard. So I will simply say something I wish the whole world could feel and hear as we struggle together: I love you

The title of my post today is from looking for a message and just not feeling any of them are right for today. It is indeed insanity to keep doing the same things and expect anything to change. That is my message to Ted Cruz, Greg Abbott, Dan Patrick, Ken Paxton and leaders like them in the United States of America. It is my sincere hope that God has a better plan than any I’ve seen or heard from you.

27 May 2022 Times in the Valley

Hello to you. Another week has come and gone. Today doesn’t find me on top of a mountain but down in a valley. I’m just finding it difficult to right myself after the latest goings on. Last night I was falling asleep and heard a loud noise inside and outside of my head and it startled me. Then I felt this presence fill the room and seem to be standing right next to me. There was a cold chill and I felt like I was being touched. Whatever was happening was not comforting and made me feel really anxious! When I asked if Jesus was there whatever it was went away. This kind of stuff happens to me and it’s so hard to understand.

As I write to you, I’m not feeling very rested but I can’t go back to sleep. What is my mind and body doing or is it something else? Someone else? I just don’t know! Praying and hoping Jesus will reveal some answers!

https://youtu.be/o5OnF3sg0cY – The Chosen Scene Jesus Gives The Beatitudes

Matthew 5New International Version

Introduction to the Sermon on the Mount

5 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes(A)

He said:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.(B)
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.(C)
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.(D)
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.(E)
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.(F)
Blessed are the pure in heart,(G)
    for they will see God.(H)
Blessed are the peacemakers,(I)
    for they will be called children of God.(J)
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,(K)
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.(L)

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you,(M)persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.(N) 12 Rejoice and be glad,(O) because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.(P)

26 May 2022 Walter and Being Grumpy

https://youtu.be/R7t0Ol6RtRY – Grumpy and Snow White

https://youtu.be/xmQfoAvlIQc – Frenchie arguing with his owner – Walter Geoffrey the French Bulldog

Hello. For the past couple days I have been feeling really grumpy. Sleep has been weird and my body has been hurting. I don’t like being grumpy or being pessimistic about my life so I’ve been trying to find ways to restore “happy Jackie.” One way I found was watching and listening to Walter Geoffrey who is a very vocal French Bulldog. Hearing and watching Walter’s meltdowns has been great therapy! Ohhhh how this boy tells how it is! Sometimes his rants sound like singing to me he just needs some brothers and a drum. What I hear from him is what I’m feeling lately. There aren’t words for it and that’s why Walters behavior resonates with me. There is an energy I’ve been sensing, especially when I go outside, that is just really tense and uncomfortable. I know part of it is myself and the frustration I’m feeling with my body but part of it is just the world I think! All of creation is going through some stuff!

I’ve been trying to do movement to music each day and singing which helps alleviate discomfort. I’m just really out of shape and have gained weight which puts more pressure on the spine and joints. I also listen to the chakra opening meditations and sing tones along with healing focused music like I shared by Mei-lan. I talk to God most of the day and sometimes I bet I sound a bit like Walter to him lol! I’m trying to eat better and drink more water. I’m trying not to be a grump! Sometimes mending pains in the body includes mending the mind and soul too. Intangible pain, the pain we feel emotionally and spiritually, can manifest tangibly in the body. Grief is a big one for that! If you are grieving it’s important to allow yourself to feel it….work through it. I try to remember that everything is a form of energy to include pain.

How are you doing? I hope something I’ve shared resonates with you… I hope it helps. I think a lot of us are experiencing some kind of pain these days. You are not alone! Like my neighbor and I talked about the other day, the only way we are going to get through these times is together. One of the mottos for Grace Bible Church is “Better Together.” When we are in pain and grumpy the tendency many of us have is to isolate ourselves.

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. C.S Lewis

25 May 2022 Mom

Hello to you today. How are you doing? I’m sitting here after a nice phone call with my Uncle and thinking about my birth mom. Today would have been her 80th birthday.

Drawing I did of my Mom several years ago

My mom Jeanne died by her own hand when she was just 26 years old. She suffered from depression and used a firearm. In the wake of what happened yesterday in Uvalde Texas, Brooklyn New York, Laguna California, Lowellville Ohio and just down the street from me here in Middleton Idaho…and places I haven’t heard about I am feeling discouraged about our country. After all this time my mom has been gone things aren’t much better in regards to mental and spiritual health in this country – it seems worse. This stuff keeps happening. People with some sort of problem be it physical, emotional, spiritual or economical either turning it on themselves or turning it on the world they live in and using a weapon to do it. After all the times we have been through the trauma of gun violence as a country….a world….still it goes on. Is God too slow to answer or are we too slow to hear and act?

People say if it wasn’t guns these people would use something else. Sadly, that’s a true statement. My therapist and I have talked about it. I tried to take my own life a couple years ago – it was access to pills for me. What I see going on is deeper than the surface issues, problems and causes we like to blame for these eruptions of passion. The “why” of it is where to begin and that is complicated and that takes time. It’s expensive. It’s easier to just keep dispensing cocktails of pills. I think we are still where we are at because no one wants to face the why of it, take responsibility and enact meaningful change. So we keep wiping up blood and handing down trauma with all its labels to yet another generation.

Pointing fingers without self reflection….we are so good at that! What our country is also good at is making troubled people famous. People who felt meaningless in life do something like what happened in Uvalde and just like that they are finally “somebody.”

What I have known from my own experience, people I have known and what I’ve observed these 54 years is that we are emotionally and spiritually sick in America. The mental health system of my mom’s day and a lot of what I’ve experienced being in the system are still inadequate. Some of us are taught to pray and told that will make everything okay again. Often things don’t change and later in life some of us learn there is action in prayer….God isn’t going to do it all for us. For some, especially those feeling powerless, this realization is enough to turn to other more immediate solutions for what ails them. As we are seeing….they pick up a gun and use it to express their unresolved problems and emotions. I know when I was growing up I wasn’t taught by anyone what to do with the insecurity and bad feelings that arose in me when I was bullied at school. I mostly turned those negative feelings and emotions on myself.

What’s different from my mom’s time and mine is now we have social media to broadcast suicides, hate and violent intentions at the click of a button. God, thoughts and prayers only go so far in this modern world of 24/7 media. Instantaneous poison for the spirit and soul.

I know…..echo chamber….preaching to the choir in my words here today. Can’t hurt to keep trying.

For Our Country

lossless-page1-800px-president_wilson_1919-bw-tif

Almighty God,
Ruler of all the peoples of the earth,
forgive our shortcomings as a nation,
purify our hearts to see and love the truth,
give wisdom to our leaders,
and steadfastness to our people,
and bring us at last
to that fair city of peace
whose foundations are mercy,
justice, and goodwill,
of which you are the designer and builder;
through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Source: Woodrow Wilson

24 May 2022 Walking and Talking

Hello to you. How are you in your today? What are you grateful for today? I’m grateful I have a working washer and dryer in my house so I can do laundry today. I can remember lugging clothes to the laundromat in my younger days. So many quarters….so much time spent going through the process.

Yesterday morning I was given the gift of a walking and talking with a friend. Walking and taking about things is something I enjoy….very therapeutic too! She is a mother of three boys and I loved the things she would point out on the walk that I didn’t see or notice. Stuff like mounds of ants or a tiny snake basking in the morning sun near the canals. She noticed different flowers or seed pods that her boys like to toss and watch blow apart. We talked about things we had going on….the ways we were feeding our souls…the ways feeding the flesh was occurring. She is learning that what she does to serve God isn’t a checklist item on a to do list. It’s not “God and the next thing that needs to be done.” The glory goes to God. It’s just about God.

The route we decided to go took us past something I hadn’t seen before and that was the Middleton Food Bank in operation. People were there getting food and milk. They seemed to be operating out of a storage locker behind the Dollar Store. I exchanged hello’s and “it’s a good day” with one man who had just received a few things. He looked at me and smiled in agreement, “yes today is a good day!” I liked it over the holidays when the grocery store in town I go to, Ridley’s, would put together bags of food we could buy to help the Food Bank. I wish they would do that year round! This operation has had difficulties recently with keeping and storing cold foods and I haven’t heard if they got that resolved: https://www.ktvb.com/amp/article/news/local/middleton-food-bank-needing-help/277-5c036ce0-b20d-4002-8f22-b372a020a7ba

https://middletonfoodbank.weebly.com/ – their home page and they also have a Facebook page.

In a world as prosperous as we live in – no one should be going without food, water and shelter!

Something neat happened on the evening walk with Link. After much path crossing and hello’s I finally got to exchange names with another one of my neighbors! I really live amongst some really good people. God is gradually answering my prayer to meet and know my neighbors!

I was trying to add pictures to this post and it looks like I’ve used up all my space on here for pictures! Ugh! I was afraid that would happen! I’ll figure something out. What I probably need to do is make galleries of previous posts with pictures. Pictures, depending on their format, can take up a lot of space. I should be able to share them on my Facebook page in the mean time.

Something I found yesterday that really helped me with trying to clear my energy centers and they have separate ones if you want to clear just one area:

https://youtu.be/4C0laqf93fg – Unblock all 7 Chakras|guided meditation| healing camp #16

22-23 May 2022 Loving Those Different Than Ourselves

Hello to you. Some plans have materialized for tomorrow morning so I figured I would write to you tonight so I can take my time!

This mornings sermon given by Pastor Jason really resonated with me. The subject that he talked about was difficult love. He wanted us to draw a line and divide it in two. Then he asked us to write down the name of a person we love the most on one side and the name of the person we feel the least for on the other side. He said chances are the person we love the most is the most like ourselves in most every way and the person we love the least is very different from ourselves. All through our lives we have gravitated towards those who were most like ourselves. As adults many of us still do this. It’s easy to love those that love us back. Thankfully God doesn’t conditionally love us!

Big point: “God loves people that don’t love him back—-and so should we”
Orange message to leave with
I saw this driving home and just had to get a picture! Singer Chris Cornell has been on my mind a lot lately

I have always been an odd ball or outsider. I always gravitated to others living on the margins of society….an observer…..loner. When I was on active duty in the Air Force I was exposed to people of many cultures and regardless of our many differences we had a mission in common. We learned to work together and agree to disagree about things. I have worked with homeless people and talked to veterans out in the street…. approached the types of people most everyone else passes by or “ doesn’t see.” I care about these people often regarded as difficult to love. I try to see people with my heart and find the good in such people. It can be really difficult especially if you are polar opposites on most everything! I have people close to me that don’t share my views on things but don’t hold it against me or I them. It’s good and healthy to have different perspectives and share them – it helps us widen our mindscapes and we grow as people….that’s what I think anyways!

What comes to my mind is that love is the bridge between different worlds.

This morning I got to talk and pray with a couple of my neighbors. One of them is working with others to include clergy to try and help a woman who is living in very unhealthy conditions. This woman is finally accepting help but resisted for a long time. An example of someone difficult to love! The other neighbor asked me to take a couple pictures for her for some friends and showed me the beautiful orange irises that had just opened up. She’s kind of digging the color orange too lol. She knew that orange is the color associated with the lower back (sacral chakra).

My neighbors friends helped her with this and wanted to see it!
More beauty dedicated to those who are victims of human trafficking
Orange! Feast for my eyes today
I’ve never seen an Iris this color before
Another beautiful variety of Iris

Doing all this I got to know her better. Turns out she has dedicated her yard and all the work she puts into it to victims of human trafficking! Isn’t that beautiful? An active, perpetual prayer in flowers for victims. We talked about how crazy the world is and I mentioned my mantra about not overly focusing on the doings of others. She said she used to be very co-dependent which I can relate to. She said my mantra sounded a lot like one of The Four Agreements. I had to look this up when I got home! So glad I did! I really love message exchanges:

The one my personal mantra aligns with is not taking anything personally – this aligns with loving difficult people. Sometimes difficult people say and do things we don’t understand. Sometimes people are difficult because of spiritual, mental or emotional wounds.

Only a couple happy snaps from the afternoon walk. I saw the healthcare worker as Link and I were leaving the spot by the canal we love. I encouraged her to just take a moment by the water to catch her breath on her walk home. Today I was imagining sitting in the stream out back of where my Aunt and Uncle used to live in Idaho City – waterways are so therapeutic for the spirit:

I can’t help it – this tree is amazing to me
Another one of my neighbors had this beauty finally appear! Unusual Iris color

https://youtu.be/OU4AeKju81I – Super Recovery and Healing Frequency Whole Body Regeneration (I like music like this when I am hurting or trying to still my mind)

https://youtu.be/UJZxtO9XNno – Gentle Stream Sounds

22 May 2022 A Healthy Body Is A Guest Chamber A Sick Body Is A Prison – Sir Francis Bacon

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well in your today. If your not well…..I understand and hope you have love and support for whatever you are going through. You might feel alone in these moments but I assure you your not. A stranger, somewhere in this world is praying for you even as I write this.

Quote I found from Sir Francis Bacon that articulates this so well!
Another quote from Sir Bacon is “knowledge is power”

The title of my blog is in honor of a recent death in our family. Much like another friend I loved and loss when I was in Texas, her body became a prison. Things would be going well and then something else would not be working right….systematic system failure. So many people in the world in all levels of our worlds strata are in prison in their bodies. People get sick…..people get old….people get broken and so many artificial and often expensive treatments and methods are employed to extend their lives. Those who love them hold on so tight and make things very complicated. What is the quality of those final years before death finally wins out? We pray for those we love to be cured…to get well and the conversation that person may be having with God both in mind and spirit is to be set free. The “body stuff” can become a burden too much to carry. I am happy she is free of the burden of her body.

I watched this video yesterday from an interview with Master Shi and it makes me think of all this. Our creator God has a plan for each of us and when we deviate from this plan, no matter what we do, we will not succeed:

https://youtu.be/1mbPjucxYoI – Shi Heng Yi The Creator of the Universe

Talk about a body that became a prison! Jesus endured so much and then was free!

Yesterday I was thinking about a few musicians that in their lifetimes made such a mark on my life in so many ways. Each of them, in their own public and private ways suffered. Behind the glamor, glory and fame they had struggles they, with their courage, hardly let us see:

When he smiled he lit up the place he was in – smiling through the hurts of a very public life and career
There are a bazillion pictures. I got to see David in California in 1991 – my first and only rock concert to date. From what I have read, this wasn’t a great time for him personally in his career.
I looked all over to find this picture – so beautiful. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen Purple Rain! I sense this creative genius got lonely and was hard on himself. He gave his all.
As I was thinking of musicians Luciano popped in. His voice evokes so many emotions! When I think of him I think of a white canary I had named Gabriel….that little birds could trill! Trilling or vocal trilling is defined technically as a rapid alternation between two notes, most often in a high register sung by a soprano or tenor and should not be confused with lip trills.Sep 20, 2019
https://www.30daysinger.com › blog
Trilling Ins and Outs – 30 Day Singer Blog



I was with my Aunt and Uncle yesterday so not much for walk pictures! Here are a few images from yesterday:

This message from A Woman’s Spirit made me think of people I know and love that use humor to help them navigate through the pain, struggles and sorrows they are facing. Sometimes things are so ridiculous all you can do is laugh! My cousin Laura and I laugh together and one of our favorite phrases…”shit happens!”
I saw this at my Aunt and Uncles when I got out of my car. Just a little earth in a crack in a driveway and then this grows! So pretty! This earth and beings like this are so intelligent. They find a way to be under even the most undesirable conditions!

20-21 May 2022 What Matters

Hello to you. How has your today been? I’m writing another post today because tomorrow I have plans. The weather has been really beautiful today so Link and I got out in it. A lot has happened today both happy and sad. I found out a composer I have enjoyed for so long named Vangelis died today. He is responsible for the amazing music in my favorite science fiction movie Blade Runner:

Sad news!

One of my favorite scenes from Blade Runner is at the end. Now deceased actor Rutger Hauer was amazing. I cried watching and listening to this:

https://youtu.be/skiNUaOS3mg – Blade Runner – Tears in the rain – Vangelis

A mantra I came up with for myself a couple years ago has been on my mind again. It has to do with overly worrying about what is going on around me and the world – specifically what other people are or are not doing….thinking…. feeling. Lately I have had to remind myself that it doesn’t matter what others are doing, thinking or feeling. What matters is what I am feeling, thinking and doing. It’s not that I don’t care….that I shouldn’t care about others. It’s just important to realize when that caring about others compromises by own peace of mind and well being! When I realize I have been compromised I have to “let God” on the person or the situation. It’s a good time for prayer and letting go which can be almost impossible depending on what is going on.

When I look at people in the world I live in, I often remind myself that every single life on earth is in the process of writing their story. Sometimes the stories of others don’t make a darn bit of sense to us as mere observers but it is understood by God.

Part of mindfulness is paying attention to what is going on with yourself before you peer into the lives of others.

An acronym I learned in AA and shared here many blogs ago is HALT. This acronym is to help you do self examination before blaming or judging others for how you are feeling. H=hungry A=angry L=lonely and T=tired. There is a good chance if you are experiencing any or more than one of these things at a time you are not going to be in a positive state of mind. Sometimes your restlessness and dissatisfaction with life can be easily solved by dealing with these basic things. Look inside first and then look outside yourself when you are overcome by your world. With practice it will become second nature. Part of the inward looking, at least for me, includes talking to God about what’s going on!

Anyhew…..hopefully something in my words is for you. If not, may be in the images and explorings today:

Inside an Iris
Around lunch time – the post office and this little corner are very busy this time of day!
Orange in nature – Yes! I needed to see this vibrant color today!
I had to get a picture of the unicorn in the window of this fire truck! Just as I did the fire fighters walked up and I finally got to say thank you! They have been very busy around here! Earth angels to me!
My other stream stopping point – the cell phone doesn’t do it justice.
Shiny new leaves
See! A whole bunch more orange flowers now! I just feel so happy when I see them there.
I was so happy to see this little one! I have found two dead squirrels just this week!
Another thing so many different species have in common. I was also thinking of the angels in Revelation: Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.”
http://web.mit.edu › NIV › REV+4
Bible Gateway Revelation 4 :: NIV

Today I was thinking about my ex and a cd of music he had put together. There was a song off of it that was stuck in my head! Ever have that happen?! Well I searched and searched and finally just texted and asked him if he knew and of course he did! Music is one of his…our things:

https://youtu.be/lgAbRgCSaXE – Kenna Hellbent

This is one of those songs that haunts you
I was wondering if the earth “body” had chakra points and turns out it does! I was surprised a place like Sedona Arizona wasn’t one of them. https://www.thetravel.com/earth-chakras-around-the-world/
Don’t ask me why but Gary Oldman popped in my thoughts today! Hope he is well.
Afternoon walk – such a clear sky!
Finishing the walk – wish sometimes I had my own stream lol

20 May 2022 The Difficulty of Releasing Earthly Attachments

Hello to you. For me it’s Friday again and I say that because it feels like time is moving so fast! Yesterday I came across a video taken from one of my favorite animated shows called Avatar: The Last Airbender. It was when Aang, the Avatar learns about the energy vortexes in our bodies called chakras and how to clear them when they are blocked. The one part that brought me to tears was thinking about letting go of all I love that attaches me to this life. When we are overly attached to things of this earth we suffer when the inevitable happens – change….loss. We can’t hold on too tight and this is a lesson I’ve struggled with almost my whole life.

https://youtu.be/StrbppmsZJw – How to open your 7 chakras as explained in a children’s show (Nickelodeon Avatar the Last Airbender)

Buddha taught that “the root of suffering is attachment” because the only constant in the universe is change. And change often involves loss. When you allow yourself to become attached to someone or something, you’re more likely to dwell on the pain of losing them.

9 Ways Attachments Play Out In Your Life To Make You Suffer – Mindful Zen

In the Bible you can find a variation of this message. We are encouraged to store up our devotion to God not to people, places and things if this earth. Our souls, the energy within us, will care nothing about the world once set free of the flesh:

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

https://chop.bible.com › bible › mat….

Matthew 6:19-34 NIV – Bible.com

Think of great storms that have happened and how grateful people are to come away from them with their life and those they love – their neighbors. Their home a pile of wreckage or ash but they praise God that they still live. In those moments reminded about what truly matters.

We are taught from a very young age living in the world structure in which we live to work hard and acquire things. Things representing the fruit of our labors. We associate memories and feelings to the things we acquire…..this leads to attachment. Then comes the time when for whatever reason we have to let go of what we have acquired and then comes the feelings…the loss….the suffering. How to live in a material world without getting overly attached but not live like everything is just disposable….expendable. What a paradox we are asked to live in our material world!

I didn’t get many pictures yesterday. The energy outside has felt “weird” to me lately and I have felt disconnected:

Trying to eat better
A quote from Robin that resonated
The sun looking like a bright moon again
Another “victrola” flower opened – In 1901, Eldridge Johnson of the Talking Machine Company created the Victrola. The Victrola is a type of early phonograph that used an internal horn. It was patented by the Victor Talking Machine Company, and only refers to internal horned phonographs.Nov 24, 2010
http://cultureandcommunication.org › …
The Victrola – Dead Media Archive
We all have different gifts God has given us for a purpose
If you look really close on the upper right it seems I captured a bird flying by lol
Lovely Willow with winds blowing her long green locks of hair
This picture really caught my attention – the artist did a great job of illumination – the eyes are filled with light seeing this

19 May 2022 Orange

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well today. Yesterday afternoon on my walk alone I went down another street I’ve never walked down. The world is so different when you walk in it and actually look at things. I saw places people are living that are in really rough shape. It reminded me of the town I left, Alvarado Texas. In the midst of prosperity were a lot of people living in structures barely in habitable condition. I look at these places knowing people live there and just hope they are ok….pray for them. There for the grace of God am I! After this Jesus and I found our way to the water and just sat quietly in gratitude.

We found a way to sit down and get some peace restored inside

A song I recently heard that is really beautiful. May be you will like it too:

https://youtu.be/6XzhlOiKaT0 – Prayer of Healing Josie Wildgoose

I don’t know if you remember but I had asked God about orange flowers and they showed up in a spot I like to visit. The color Orange has been on my mind. Energy flow in the body and how it can get blocked by emotional pain has been on my mind. I have had this stubborn pain in my lower back and that is on the “orange” area of our energy centers in the body. This area is very stubborn to unblock the bodies energy flow in…at least for me. It’s interesting to be thinking of a particular color and find out it might be related to a particular energy center in the body.

There are more orange flowers since I took this!
Source: https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/intro-sacral-chakra-svadhisthana/
We get messages to help us all the time!

Message from A Woman’s Spirit today: I will look for opportunities to encourage another person today. My own strength and courage will be enhanced in the process.

Here are some other pictures and messages from yesterday:

Trees doing “tree stuff”
Not sure if this is a dandelion or not
Interesting quote from a scientist acknowledging the existence of God in his own way
Valuable reminder for me. As I’ve been listening to Master Shi of the Shaolin Temple in Germany lately this is something that comes up a lot. Our mind will run riot if we let it and take us to all sorts of messes.
The Bible echoes the message of mastery of our minds
Sometimes the sun looks like the moon in pictures
I found these over by The Way church in my neighborhood. I was in awe of how vibrant they are!
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of groaning with body pains!