List the people you admire and look to for advice…
Hello to you. How is it in your world? Here in mine it’s sunny and warm again. I went and got groceries this morning after putting it off as long as I could. It was $214 just for me! That’s double what it was since all the tariffs nonsense began. Last night as I did my nightly prayers, I realized how much I hate our President and had to pray about it. Praying for those we don’t like is even more important than praying for those we do like. I had to pray for him to get the hate out of my heart. I don’t want to hate anybody but every day it’s one more thing he does that pisses me off. I can’t stand seeing his face or hearing his voice every day. I want him and his entire administration fired! I don’t understand why Congress hasn’t done anything. We shall have to see what Gods will is about it all. This uncalled for war with Iran must end!
In answer to today’s prompt I would say the people I look to for advice and admire is my family. I especially listen to my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt and Uncle are the closest thing for me having parents. Sometimes they get it wrong but it’s rare. Other people I turn to are my Pastor and friends I’ve made through church.
Dear Jesus please guide the leaders at all levels of government. Give them wisdom and empathy towards the people they serve. Please wrap your loving arms around the unhoused, the addicted, the sick, those trying to heal, the abused, the poor and the hungry. Please continue to send your earth angels to the aide of neglected and abused animals. Amen.
I am finding these shorter exercises easier to do:
Hello to you. How are you doing today? I hope well. The main event of my day today was going to the ladies coffee this morning. I wasn’t sure if I was going but my body made its mind up for me. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately and my ears have really been bothering me. The nasal spray and antihistamine don’t seem to be helping like I had hoped they would.
There was a good turn out. Missy lead us by reading the Daily Bread for 1 May and we went around the room for prayer intentions. We put together gifts and treats for the ladies at The Cottages assisted living home in town for Mothers Day. Terry made sun catchers and other ladies brought cookies they baked. The sun catchers were really nice. I signed some cards and helped assemble a few bags with the sun catchers. I left before everything was done as my ears were really bothering me. When they flare up my head feels so tight – very uncomfortable! I’m glad I went though the ladies are so kind and understanding.
Hello to you on this warm Sunday evening. How are you? I am feeling weak and tired again. I didn’t go to church this morning. I have just been wanting to sleep and the more I chase it the harder it is. The Olanzapine makes me sleepy and so like last night I was up at like 3 am taking it.
Here is the link for today’s message from Pastor Jason about the prodigal son:
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord Open the eyes of my heart I want to see You I want to see You
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord Open the eyes of my heart I want to see You I want to see You
To see you high and lifted up Shining in the light of Your glory Pour out Your power and love As we sing holy, holy, holy
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord Open the eyes of my heart I want to see You I want to see You
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord Open the eyes of my heart I want to see You I want to see You
To see you high and lifted up Shining in the light of Your glory Pour out Your power and love As we sing holy, holy, holy
To see you high and lifted up Shining in the light of Your glory Pour out Your power and love As we sing holy, holy, holy
To see you high and lifted up Shining in the light of Your glory Pour out Your power and love As we sing holy, holy, holy
To see you high and lifted up Shining in the light of Your glory Lord Pour out Your power and love As we sing holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy You are Holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy (I want to see You) You are holy, Lord Holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy (I want to see You) Open the eyes of my heart Lord Open the eyes of my heart I want to see You, I want to see You Open the eyes of my heart Lord Open the eyes of my heart I want to see You, I want to see You
I’m out on a new road in search for a land with no name And I never looked back, ’cause I’m walking through sunshine and rain I’m a man who has lived in the tombs and who’s broken the chain
Amen Amen
I was blind, but now I see What if God is not for me And I know, it’s time to go
I’ve been used and I’ve been played I’ve been spied on and betrayed And I know, it’s time to go
I defeat the pain (Watch out) I’m alive again The past is gone for good, it’s time to say
Amen Amen Amen Amen
At last, I believe I will be found In the silence of my nights I can hear a distant voice Someone out there is calling my name
I’m not afraid (Watch out) I’m beyond the dread It’s time to turn the page and love again
Amen Amen Amen Amen
I defeat the pain (Watch out) and I cry again I’m leaving all my shadows behind
Don’t be afraid to be weak Don’t be too proud to be strong Just look into your heart my friend That will be the return to yourself The return to innocence
The return to innocence
And if you want, then start to laugh If you must, then start to cry Be yourself don’t hide Just believe in destiny
Don’t care what people say Just follow your own way Don’t give up and use the chance To return to innocence
That’s not the beginning of the end That’s the return to yourself The return to innocence
Lord, I commit this day to You. Please give me strength for the challenges, wisdom for decisions, and peace in my heart. Guide my steps, help me to love well, and use me to bring light to those around me. I trust You with every moment, Amen.
Hello to you. How are you doing? I’m doing ok – just back from my second walk today. It’s really warm! It’s 74 degrees right now. Today began early as Link had his grooming appointment with Clean Pups Diana. She does such a good job with him!
He looks so much better!
My heart goes out to the families that lost their little ones in Louisiana – so senseless! I hope the women involved will be surrounded with love and healing. They will need so much understanding and kindness if they survive their injuries:
A gunman killed eight children and wounded two women in a Northwest Louisiana incident that stemmed from a domestic disturbance, the Shreveport Police Department said Sunday.
The adult male suspect is dead, authorities said. Police named the suspect as 31-year-old Shamar Elkins, of Shreveport. Elkins was believed to be the father of seven of the children killed, Shreveport Police Cpl. Christopher Bordelon said.
I can only imagine What it will be like When I walk by Your side I can only imagine What my eyes would see When Your face is before me I can only imagine Yeah
Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence Or to my knees, will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine I can only imagine
I can only imagine When that day comes And I find myself Standing in the Son I can only imagine When all I will do Is forever, forever worship You I can only imagine, yeah I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in your presence Or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine, yeah I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in your presence Or to my knees, will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, yeah I can only imagine I can only imagine, yeah-yeah I can only imagine I can only imagine I can only imagine
I can only imagine When all I will do Is forever, forever worship You I can only imagine
Prayer I found online specifically for victims of gun violence:
A Prayer for Healing and Comfort “God of mercy, our hearts ache for those injured in acts of violence. We pray for healing for those who are injured and hospitalized. We pray for comfort for families and friends of each victim. Give solace to grieving communities, and bring peace to anxious hearts. Bring them healing and peace in the face of this tragedy. Amen
Hello to you. I’m just got home from our Thursday prayer group and breakfast at the Sunrise. We are keeping pastor Jason’s daughter Harper in prayer as her doctors keep trying to figure out what’s going on with her. I should have gone to get groceries but I am procrastinating! I am planning on going tomorrow morning. It will give me something to do.
Do you procrastinate? What do you dread doing so much that you put it off?
Part of the dread comes from how expensive grocery shopping has gotten. For just me and Link prices have doubled.
Had an interesting, very brief dream last night that woke me up. It was of seeing a David Bowie that looked like he did in the music video for I’m Afraid Of Americans:
As he walked away from me there were black storm clouds brewing in the distance. It’s been awhile since I’ve dreamt of David. Another dream I had with him in it was of joining him on stage for a concert. I had that one shortly after he died. David was a major player in my teenage years. I gravitated towards him because like me, he was androgynous. When I was in high school I got mistaken for being a guy a lot! Nowadays I’m a “ma’m” A couple of days ago a neighbor walking their dog greeted me that way. My age is finally catching up to me!
The chameleon
St. Padre Pio’s Healing Prayer “Heavenly Father, I thank you for loving me. I thank you for sending your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to the world to save and to set me free. I trust in your power and grace that sustain and restore me. Loving Father, touch me now with your healing hands, for I believe that your will is for me to be well in mind, body, soul, and spirit”.
Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Today was good. I woke up with my usual problem – anxiety and I didn’t want to be alone. I reached out to my Aunt and she had Link and I come over. She helped me make a delicious cup of coffee and made me a toasted blueberry bagel. She gave me a much needed hug. She just knows what I need! Almost every day I have anxiety in the morning and instead of fighting my way through it today I reached out. I am so blessed to have an understanding Aunt and Uncle! At times I really don’t like living alone. Thank God for Link! Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? Sometimes I think so! The dating scene for my age group is pretty dismal. I always said that if I couldn’t make my second marriage work that I was destined to be alone. There is a large void in my life not being married. I will just have to let God have the final word on this.
Hello there. It’s bed time as I write to you. How are you? This morning was my weekly prayer meeting. LOTS to pray about! I am hoping I will get a good sleep tonight. I am on my second day of taking Oil of Oregano with Black Seed Oil by Resilia. I am hoping it will help me with my bloating and sugar cravings. The reviews have been good so we shall see! I feel with certainty that I have parasites in my gut. After every meal my belly bloats up like I’m pregnant. I know part of the sugar cravings isn’t just parasites begging to be fed but is also the medication I’m on. Depakote and Olanzapine are known for causing weight gain. I am hoping the oregano oil will help me in spite of the medications.
I have been asking Jesus to heal me and I feel like he has been leading me down a path of possibilities to do just that. It’s been a struggle at times as I have gotten so out of shape. Becoming more active each day with Tai Chi and a longer walk each day and changes to what I’m putting in my body are all holistic approaches to healing. I just have to surrender and believe we are on the right path together.
A good prayer for these days we are in:
Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi (Prayer for Peace)
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Hello and good evening. I am writing to you to help quiet my brain before bed. I have been having good dreams since the one I told you about with sleep paralysis. This past day I dreamt about being with my ex and his brother. I really miss both of them and the in depth talks we used to have. We were good friends! The dream felt like a nice visit with them.
My thoughts tonight turn to the word focus. The context being of what I focus on gaining power in my life. I am currently focusing on losing weight and being more active. It’s going from just thinking to doing. This is a battle because of the fullness in my ears, balance and my lower back. I am hoping the Tai Chi, currently at a beginners level and walking, will gradually help me out with what is holding me back.
The other thing that holds me back in my life is my love for my dog Link. I hate leaving him alone for too long. He is going to be 12 this coming December! He’s a senior dog now and I don’t know how much longer we will have together. After him I don’t know if I will be able to have another pet. There are a lot of things I don’t do because of my responsibility as a pet owner. My little old man gets a lot of my focus.
What we focus on gains power – takes center stage of our lives. The past couple years I have been trying to put Jesus at the center but I will be honest it’s not been easy. I was a pagan for a long time. Prior to being a pagan I was a Roman Catholic for many years up until I left home. After the Catholic Church refused to acknowledge my first marriage I tried many other churches and just couldn’t find one I felt comfortable or accepted in. In the church I am currently attending, Grace Bible Church, I have found acceptance and fellowship but sometimes I feel like the chameleon tattooed on my shoulder. My ability to feel anything deeply has gone the way of my creativity. I want to feel Jesus’s love for me and sometimes I just don’t! I want to weep with the depths of his love and I just can’t. What used to come to me so easily has been reduced to this blog. I am so grateful to you who come to visit me here from all over the world which encourages me not to give up writing altogether!
Dear Jesus I come before you asking for you to heal me in my brokenness- physically, mentally and spiritually. Please show me you are present and that you love me. I ask that you make your presence known to all in this world that thirst for the living water only you can provide. Help me and others like me authentically be vessels of your spirit. Free me and others like me from the bondage of self. Amen.
I am hoping to fall asleep and stay asleep til a reasonable time in the morning. Last night I was awakened by a sleep paralysis dream. I’ve been having them pretty often. This time I saw a shadow person and let it know I saw it. Then it came at me and was choking me. I could only cry out for my daddy and then it stopped. I chastised it for terrorizing me and my dog. I feel like it took place in my childhood home. The place seemed like a blend of worlds.
When I have these dreams I usually am in a place I know but it’s slightly different – like an alternate dimension. They are lucid dreams as I usually realize I’m dreaming and try to interact with what’s going on. I can only speak and the rest of my body can’t move. When I have these dreams Link gets upset!
Psalm 91:5-6
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday
2 Timothy 1:7New International Version
7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid,but gives us power, love and self-discipline
To be 