7 August 2019 “Being there”

Hello to you.  I’ve been away for quite awhile again.  Lately there have been many things going on in my life that have required my attention on a personal, physical, emotional and spirit level while I am trying to heal from a recent fall.  I won’t burden you with the details.  This morning my husband and I can’t sleep again even with it being quiet and dark.  A lot on our minds, bodies and spirits these days.  I believe it is in our house and outside of our houses that affect us on every level – directly and indirectly by the very nature of how our systems are connected as living organisms.

One of the things on my mind right now is how to be there for my family and my friends and still have something left for me.  In my current condition I am not able to be there for those I love in the same capacity I have been able to in the past and I kind of beat myself up for it!  Am I being a bad friend?  A bad daughter?  A bad wife?  Then comes the “shouldn’ing” all over myself which doesn’t help!   So I ran a couple things to share with those of you who this might resonate with – those who might be feeling/going through this right now and have need of a different way to see it:

“Being there” = 93/98/91/76/117/133/146

9 = 42 = self  (a “no” self as 5 also equals 42 but I think of this as the feeling/five senses/physical self) 3 = 56 = 42/52  (“self earth”)

98 = together  91= spirit  76 = humans  33= the  46 = body

Being there for a friend = 189

1=34 =one  8=49=alive  9=42=self (add 34 + 49 + 42 = 125 and 25 = all, “a all” = 26 which = God)

Sometimes we can’t be there like we want to for a friend or how a friend might expect us to be so we can pray for them to the God/Gods of our understanding.  If you don’t like that – just even having a loving/positive thought for them.  It is different for each of us.  Sometimes we just can’t be there for someone like they think they want or need from us.  An energy greater than ourselves must step in our place for them.  For many, that is God.

Being there for family = 198

1=34=one  9=42=self 8=49=alive (add 34 + 42 + 49 = 125)

Being there for yourself = 253

2=58=feeling  5=42=self  3=56=light  (add 58 + 42 + 56 = 156) (56’s I have found, why, light out and there are more but these are a couple)

156/128/141/128/141…. = a why a man a garbage?  a why a man energy exchange.

For me personally, for the past several months, years…may be most of my life I have questioned my worth, my value….am I garbage?  Did God make a mistake by making me?  What I have had to do is find a way to make peace within myself so I don’t hate myself all the time.  People like my husband, family, my friends all seem to love and care about me but if I don’t love myself, their energies are wasted on me.  One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, still do, is tell the person in the mirror I love them.

As I age, that girl looking back at me has changed but when I look in her eyes, that little girl is still looking back at me and I can’t stop loving her.  The God I know has changed through the years – stripped down now to energetic form.  Why would God expend all that energy to make something and not love it?  The human world is full now of creations cast aside, seeming mistakes.  Are they really mistakes if God is in all of us?  Made all of us?  Who decides but God?!  These are the questions of our time.

We have all been given a set of clothes to wear in this life and underneath them is energy, children of God.  Sometimes our inner child gets lost and just wants to be comforted.  We cast about in this world to get some relief from the pain that child may be enduring and we can’t find it!  I have gone through that process so many times in my life and it was due in great part to a black, white and tan cocker spaniel named Sam that I found out nothing can fill the void that is created by loss but God.  Isn’t it ironic that God turned around is dog.  Yes, people living and dead in my life have taught me a great deal of life but with Sam there were no conditions.

I will close for now.  I am typing one-handed so can’t do this so often.  I hope something here is what you were looking for and or needed today.

 

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13 June 2019 Looking at Time in the numbers

Hello to you.  I haven’t been in for a bit – doing lots of queries with the letters to numbers bit these days.  Today my husbands friend had a good question that I decided to explore and thought anyone who is interested in this might want to see what came up!  So what happens when I do queries of this nature is I am basically brainstorming and doing associations between things that are related to the subject.  It’s often surprising and delightful to see the “answers” or may be better yet to say “clues” that come through.

So here goes; the question was:  “What is time and how does it work?”

What is time and how does it work ? = 331/146

— what I saw in this result was this:  The 3, to me, is “yes, no may be” aspect of existence.  How we question ourselves when faced with a person, place, thing or situation we are uncertain about.  In this query it would be time.  The 146 doesn’t convert to anything else.   “One engaged with part of their brain, all the vices (7 deadly sins) but one.”  If you add 1 plus 46 it equals 47, which is the number value for time.

— “the yes, no, may be” for the light and shadow of one” = 396/150/140/158/125/134/150

— people=69  communication and uncertainty = 150  light= 56  shadow= 70

This didn’t really help us answer the question did it?  So what I did is started taking a look at a bunch of variables, mind you hardly all inclusive, that came to my mind and it was interesting to see what  came up.  I noticed that there are of course reoccurring patterns and 134, which I recently discovered was information and 150 which is fifty states, communication and uncertainty come up in almost all of them.  As is common for me when I do these, specific number values came up that spoke directly to me.  When you do this for yourself, should you choose, you may see the same.

To begin I have provided a “ledger” I use to help me make sense of what comes up without having a specific word meaning.  Keep in mind, with all the words in the English language there are many variations that can produce similar numeric values.  More than one word or sequence of words can equal the same thing and may or may not have the same meaning or association if that make sense?!  I would have to be a powerful computer or at this for a much longer time to find all the combinations!  Part of my enjoyment of this process is when a new value will come to me for a number that I had a previous association.  For example 150 was just fifty states for a time and now it’s communication and uncertainty just showed up this week!

1 – person, animal, object etc.

2 – process

3 – yes, no, may be

4 – brain

5 – sensation/senses/physical aspects

6 – cycle, all the “7” in check but 1

7 – vices, too much, preferences, purpose, motive

8 – system of eternity which can seem slow and the racetrack which can seem fast

9 – no? yes? unsure, uncertainty, resistance, insecurity  *interesting to note nine is nein, or “no” in German

10 – Zero = 64 Body = 46 observatory process  spirit = 91/10

7 Vices = Pride=52, Envy=66, Wrath=70, Sloth=74, Greed=39, Gluttony=134 and Lust=72

Moderation = 114  Balance=38  controlling yourself = 260  motive = 84  purpose = 110  intention = 120  expectation = 132  resentment = 133

 

(As always, feel free to add variables of your own.  I didn’t add these all up like I normally do this time but you can.  It’s interesting to see what final summary comes of many different variables.  Sometimes there will be direct correlation to one or more of the variables in the query.)

Brainstorm (129/134/150):

 

sunrise = 105/140/158/125/134/150

sunset = 98/91/76/117/133/146

time and the position of the sun = 324/174/159/118/117/133/146

time is a process for one in eternity which is either slow or fast like a racetrack = 793/163/142/152/134/150

earth = 52  information= 134 communication/uncertainty = 150

a racetrack is sometimes in a figure eight design = 424/178/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

provocation = 148 – this one came up today!

(the number 78 = childhood, the number 8 on its side looks like the eternity symbol and ate/eat = 26/8)

twenty four hour clock = 273/179/141/128/141

(man=28, 141=energy exchange and 41=garbage!)

sundial = 80/113/124

(racetrack and behavior = 80)

chronological time = 179/141/128/141

linear time = 106/150/140/158/125/134/150

rotation of the earth and time = 184/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

the flow of time and space around a person = 381/139/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

(what was funny about this is Jackie=39 and Life=32!)

pace = 25/100/162/144/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

(earth = 52/100  brain=44  54=sun/love

speed = 49/102/156/128/141

(light=56)

world time = 119/110/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/1/50

clock = 44/120/156/128/141

brain = 44/120/156/128/141

thinking time is passing by quickly = 377/186/135/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

believing time is passing by quickly = 370/185/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

timeline= 87/114/128/141

time standing still = 207/187/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

to stop time = 152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

counter clockwise = 196/128/141

counter clockwise rotation = 308/169/128/141

counter clockwise rotation of the earth = 447/185/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

brain = 44 time = 47  “brain time” = 91/76/117/113/146

to go forward in time = 212/150/140/158/125/134/150

to go backward in time = 190/140/158/125/134/150

backward = 63  child = 36

to stand still in time = 235/156/128/141/128

time stasis = 134/150

time travel = 125 134/150

all = 25 travel = 78  childhood=78

to relive a childhood through your child = 397/163/142/152/134/150

mistakes = 97

giving you child the childhood you were not given = 512/134/150

sparing your child the childhood you lived = 423/174/159/118/117/133/146

Alvarado, Jesus, Lucifer, Larry are some 74’s

learning from your own childhood and not repeating the same mistakes with your own children = 936/150

child = 36 learning = 80 behavior= 80

experiencing the passing of time through watching children grow up = 670/181/117/133/146

experiencing the passage of time through watching children grow up = 653/150

passage = 68  planet = 68

to give birth = 135/132

life = 32

to witness life = 176/151/110/132

hysterectomy = 176 (I had this happen to me in August 2005)

to witness death = 182/141/128

to experience life = 171/133/146

to experience death = 177/164/146

power = 77 Christ = 77

*in high school I wrote a poem titled Lady time and this progression made me this of it

Lady Time = 89/91/76/117/133/146

Schmidt, my maiden name = 76

“Lady Time sits with her hour glass and watches as time passes her by” = 669/146

woman = 66 people= 69

“she is surprised at all the time she’s managed to waste as the world spins by her with such extreme haste” = 1028/205/164/146

waste = 68  world = 72 haste = 53

(old phrase this made me remember from my Grandparents, “haste makes waste” = 170/163/142/152/134/150)

 

I hope this resonates with someone besides this numbers to letter nerd I’ve become these days.  This system came to me during a time when I didn’t even know what Gematria was.  Just the nudge to take a look at words by putting a number with the alphabet and see what they said.  Having trust issues to the degree I was having and yet have at times, this gave me some direction, relief and insight.  Thank you for stopping by.