20 November 2022 Not giving up the faith

Hello to you. How are you today? Today my message has to do with reconciling what happened to me during my episode and not giving up my faith about it. When the police tazzed me like they did I screamed out for Jesus to come and help me but he didn’t come. I ended up in the hospital again. Is that what the answer was? Working through other people to help me? This is what a lot of people have said to me. I have had a crisis of faith but realize without Jesus and his people I am so alone.

Church today

I am not giving up on my faith. May be in all that is happening is a humbling I needed – to realize I can’t do this life alone and have to ask for help.

19 November 2022 Gratitude

Message today from Streams in the Desert
My buddy Link

Hello to you. Yesterday was interesting. I’m grateful to my cousin for helping me navigate the Veterans Administration system. I don’t think I could have done it on my own. There are a lot of buildings and processes. My doctor had a lot of questions for me and is wanting to taper me off of one of my drugs to see if the rocking sensation subsides. We shall see. Apparently Haldol is known to have an rocking effect. I haven’t been taking it that long so not sure.

Like I said just feeling grateful that I have a support system here to help me get through what it’s taking to get some balance in my life again. We have a follow up appointment in December.

17 November 2022 Changes

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope well. I’m still the same and so is Link – still limping but not coughing thank goodness. Have to force feed him the pill with cream cheese. What a pain lol.

I had been hearing some construction crew noises behind my house and it turns out they have completely leveled out what was my church along the canal. They removed all the plants and trees! Sigh! Changes are always happening aren’t they?

From this
To this

Thank you for your prayers – my dad is doing better.

14 November 2022 Usefulness

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Found out last night my Dad is having some troubles with his health – so keeping him in my prayers. I am having some problems of my own. When I walk there is a swaying sensation in my head. Don’t know if it my equilibrium or something in my ears. I find because of this that I am having trouble feeling useful. I don’t think it’s vertigo.

My buddy Link this morning

My Aunt and Uncle helped me figure out how to get Link to take his pills – cream cheese! Seems to be working so far.

11 November 2022 Veterans Day

Not my best but have to get back into practice

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today is Veterans Day. A day that exists because of great sacrifices of so many men and women living and dead. I always say the best way to thank me for my service is to try and make it so there are fewer veterans….more peace and less war. I don’t know if I will ever see that but that is my wish for the world!

When I was an AIC

10 November 2022 The Car

Hello to you. It seems like when one thing happens another follows suite. This morning I tried to start my car and it was a no go – battery is dead. So now I have to buy a new battery which sucks! Thankfully my Aunt and Uncle are able to help me out with getting to the auto parts store to buy a new battery.

Have to stay in a space of gratitude – it will all work out.

Red skies

9 November 2022 Stamina Continued

Hello to you. Hope this day finds you well. I’m doing ok just dealing with the usual stuff plus low energy levels – stamina. I really have gotten weaker after my stay in the hospital. Gradually trying to build it back up. Link is still limping but has such a positive attitude about it! Please keep him in your prayers.

I want to say how grateful I am that things are even if I hope for better. I’m home with Link and have loving family and friends. Thank you for your prayers and support through all of this.

https://youtu.be/Vjr6hwNuKBo – Mei-lan Live sound healing- heart awakening series- love is letting go

8 November 2022 Routines

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m up and at em but still having to figure out routines. Having a schedule of when to get up and when to go to bed and life in between. Link is a big part of all of that especially with his leg bothering him the way it is now.

I am kind of having a crisis of faith too. It was Jesus I cried out to when the police tazzed me with electricity the day I was picked up. There was no rescue just going to the hospital. Was that his reply to my plea? I really thought it was time for the end of the world that day. I will have to see what the days ahead hold for me.

https://youtube.com/shorts/cJMSE8a5cXs?feature=share – trying my hand at a YouTube short.

7 November 2022 Wreckage (recovery after manic episode)

Hello how are you? I’m doing ok. Still working through the wreckage after what happened. Last night was my first night alone in the house. Link ate the ham for his pills but didn’t want to this morning. He’s too smart. He hasn’t been eating his regular dog food which concerns me. I’m having the internet people come out today as it’s inoperable. It got ripped from the wall for some reason during all the chaos.

I’m so frustrated with myself. My little house was so nice and now there is damage to it that has to be repaired eventually. This is the aftermath of a manic episode. I look at some of the stuff that happened and it makes no sense at all. What was I thinking?! Just not in my right mind I guess is the only answer. Just have to keep taking it one day at a time.

https://youtu.be/5utEmwxi3xs – we know where you go Blue October

6 November 2022 Stamina

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope well. I’m trying to get back to my life again and finding I’m really weaker than I’ve ever been . My stamina is real low so it takes a lot more energy to do things than it used to. I’m going to have to work at it and build my strength back up over time.

Link is doing better but is a little bear about taking his meds for pain! He hates it. I’m hoping some deli meat will entice him about it tonight.