Hello to you. It’s nearly bedtime as I write to you. I had an appointment with my therapist today and I shared with her something that’s been going on. The fullness in my ears makes it hard for me to carry on conversations. It’s a wet uncomfortable feeling. I am finding it’s easier to write than it is to carry on a conversation. I know what I want to say but sometimes I get blocked from saying it. I noticed this at the tea party Sunday. I don’t want my body to become a prison like what happened to my dad!
Prayer I found to share:
Lord, as I lay down to sleep, I thank You for today’s blessings and seek Your peace to quiet my mind. Protect me through the night and rejuvenate my spirit. May my rest be filled with Your comforting presence, and may I awaken refreshed for the day to come
Hello to you. I’m just home from my cousins house and the first tea party. Today began with church. I got to see my church family. Jeannie was there with Roy’s daughter Wendy. We were in Matthew 6:5-8:
The tea party really was beautiful! It was the first one my family has done so there was a learning curve. I was a bit late as my GPS decided it didn’t want to take me to my cousins without going to my Aunts first! My cousin came and rescued me. I was pretty frazzled! There was a good turnout that included the grandchildren. Everyone had on their spring dresses and little clip on hats. I was so glad to see everyone to include my cousin Heidi. It’s been six months since she had her aneurysm. She’s doing so well! There were little sandwiches, scones and macaroons. There were many different teas to choose from. There was talk of doing it again next year.
Hi and hello to you. Today we had our annual vet visit at the Intermountain Veterinary Clinic for Link. He only had a couple vaccines and got blood work done to see if his organs are functioning well. As I feared, he needs his teeth cleaned and at the minimum it will cost over $700! At the high end over $900. I don’t know how regular people can afford these kinds of prices! The blood work should tell us whether or not he’s at risk going under anesthesia. I am worried with him being 11 that he might not do so well. He needs to lose weight too. She wants him to only have 300 calories a day. My poor little man! He’s a foodie like me – we both need to lose extra padding. They always tease him about his big booty butt lol!
Last night I was missing my cat Amber. She used to purr me to sleep at night. I found this:
Lord our God, be merciful to us. Be our strong refuge. Help us on all our ways. Help us on the dark and difficult paths we must often travel on earth. Grant that we may see your light, for you are with us. You help us, and you let the power of the life of Jesus Christ be with us so that your name is honored on earth through many who love you and come to you, pleading with you in prayer. Give us the light of your Word, that we may hear and live rightly. Give us increasing strength for the fight to which you have called us. Bless us all. Shine into our hearts so that we can carry out all you have promised through your Word. Amen.
Good evening to you. It’s starting to get dark as I write to you. I just finished watching a PBS show about the marriage of Queen Victoria. I enjoy watching programs that are about historical figures:
Jason asked us to come up with one word that describes what the wilderness means to us. For me the word was loneliness. When I’m alone I am the most vulnerable. Loneliness is like a vast desert and company quenches the thirst. I use to really like going off on my own and communing with nature. Ever since I’ve been having problems with my ears and lower back, the most time I spend alone is walking in the neighborhood.
One of the songs we sang today nearly brought me to tears:
When I have completely surrendered my will to that of the Holy Spirit drastic change has occurred. Both when I quit drinking and smoking I gave up my will to Gods will and claimed victory!
Hello to you. How are you doing today? Not much going on here today which is good. My Linky boy was sitting in a sunbeam this afternoon. I thought you would like to see!
My sunbeam boyHi momma!
Dear Jesus thank you for Link and all that he is to this family. Thank you for this day that I’ve been allowed to live. I pray you be with the poor, the sick, those with health issues they have to live with, the hungry, the addicted, the abused, the neglected and the unhoused. Wrap your loving arms around those who seek you. Amen.
Hello to you. I hope this finds you doing well. I had a nice start to my day by going and seeing my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt felt like I needed their company and she was right. She made me a cup of coffee and a yummy breakfast sandwich which I appreciated. I had called the VA to schedule an appointment for a follow up with my primary care provider. They didn’t have me scheduled for anything other than my talking doctor. When I called to make an appointment I couldn’t come up with the words to ask for the help I needed. It doesn’t seem like anything can be done for me. My Aunt wants me to persue the weight loss pill Wegovy as I am prediabetic and should qualify for it. My cousin who came by while I was there helped me get an appointment scheduled to talk to them. I may have to have a sleep study in order to qualify for it. I would need to get help getting to a sleep study as they do them at the Boise VA. I will see a doctor next Tuesday and we’ll see what happens. I just know I hate the way I feel right now. I really need to lose weight! We talked about how I can eat better – healthier snacks and meals. I may have to take the MOVE class through the VA which is designed to help with weight loss. I’m not good with following instructions so this whole part of my journey may be a test to change that!
What is MOVE!?
VA’s MOVE! Weight Management Program for Veterans can help you adopt a healthy lifestyle, meet your health goals, and manage your weight. Participating in MOVE! can increase your ability and confidence to make healthy behavior, nutrition, and physical activity changes.
If you have a higher body weight, losing 5%-10% of your weight can improve your health. Keeping a weight that is healthy for you can help you feel good and have energy to do the things you want to do.
With the help of your MOVE! care team, you can:
improve your quality of life, and even live longer
reduce health risks
prevent or reverse certain diseases
VA also offers weight management medicines and surgery. These options can be helpful when used along with lifestyle changes that are part of MOVE!. Talk with your health care team to learn more about these choices and how they can help you meet your goals.
Dear Jesus I pray that you guide my path as I am seeking relief from my health issues. I thank you for my family and friends that are trying to help me with their prayers and support. As always I ask you to be with my family and friends. I pray for your loving arms to reach out to the sick, the poor, those healing (Heidi), to the hungry, the addicted, first responders, those in harms way and victims of war. Thank you for being present through my family today, Amen.
Hello there. How are you doing today? Our natural inclination is to say “I’m ok” or “fine.” Not many people want to hear that you aren’t ok or fine. Is it a sign of weakness to be honest? Is it a sign that you don’t want to burden others with your troubles knowing that others have problems too? It’s not wanting to be a burden that keeps me in the fine and ok space when interacting with others. I don’t want people to dread talking to me!
Today I forced myself to join ladies from church for our twice a month coffee. I was late but that didn’t matter. As always I’m glad I went. I got to share how I’m doing and they prayed for me. I didn’t stay long as I don’t do well standing for long periods of time. I continue to experience the Weeble wobbles when I turn a certain way. They were packaging up pillowcases that were sewn for women and children with cancer.
Ladies helping todayPillow cases for children
Prayer I found that resonated with me:
For Strength & Courage
Heavenly Father, I come before You seeking Your divine strength. Lord, You are my refuge and my fortress. I surrender my fears, anxieties, and uncertainties to You. Fill me with unwavering courage and remind me that I can do all things through You. Let Your peace settle my heart. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Hello to you. It’s Sunday again! The week flew by didn’t it?! I forced myself to go to church despite having some slight vertigo. I’m so glad I did as I got to see my church fam – especially Jeannie, Terry, Cecil, Mark and Brenda. I love getting and giving hugs! Today was Communion Sunday which is always meaningful. Pastor Jason’s message today resonated with me. Feeling the way I did today, the weeble wobbles, makes it hard for me to commit more of myself to our churches needs. Some days it’s all I can do to get to church like today. We are growing and there are so many spaces that need to be filled! I am glad to be part of a prayer group that meets on Thursdays and when I’m able I go to a Monday coffee with women of Grace.
Today is my Dads heavenly birthday, he would be 83 today. I feel bad that I didn’t know my dad better. He didn’t ever really talk about his past. I’m ashamed to say that today is the first time I have read his obituary! I still haven’t fully grieved and or accepted that he’s gone. I miss the dad that dad was so much of his life. I miss his hugs that could make the world stand still. I miss his laughter and his smile. He had such a fun sense of humor. I miss him calling me and leaving voice messages – “hi Jackie this is your dad.” I miss him asking me to get him quarters from the bank. I miss decorating the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving with him. I just miss him alot! There are so many little things. I was proud of my dad for everything he did. I can remember when I would visit him and mom how many people that knew my dad and would say hello. He was kind of a local celebrity!
Part of his life is missing from his obituary and that is being married to my birth mom Jeannie and her subsequent suicide. This painful part of his past changed the course of both of our lives. Suicide does that so I’m not surprised for the omission. I only ever heard him speak of what happened when he told Dianne when he thought I was asleep in the backseat. I have never forgotten that! It was a horrible thing he went through! I feel bad that I put him through so much with my mental health issues during the latter years of his life.
Larry Schmidt, Sioux Falls, SD, passed away Wednesday, November 1, 2023, at Avera Prince of Peace. He was 80.
Larry Jay Schmidt was born May 31, 1943, in Marion, SD, to Elias and Irene (Wipf) Schmidt. The family lived in Freeman, SD prior to moving to Sioux Falls when Larry was five years old. He attended Sioux Falls Washington Senior High School and then joined the US Navy. Following his honorable discharge from service, he sold insurance for Physicians Mutual. Larry served as a police officer in Freeman, SD, then later moved to Rapid City, SD where he continued in security.
On July 7, 1973, he was united in marriage to Dianne Warrington in Tea, SD. The couple made their home in Sioux Falls. Larry continued his career with security in Sioux Falls. In 1987, he and Dianne purchased Velvet Uniforms serving the Sioux Falls community and the law enforcement community in the area. He retired in 2008.
Larry was a member of St. Michael Parish, the Knights of Columbus, American Legion and VFW Honor Guards, and was a member of the Fraternal Order of Police Associate Lodge #1, where he had served as board member and president.
In his free time, Larry enjoyed genealogy and collecting coins.
Grateful for having shared his life are his wife, Dianne Schmidt, Sioux Falls, SD; daughter, Jackie Wygant, Middleton, ID; son, Jerry (Robin) Lemme, Dell Rapids, SD; four grandchildren; four great-grandchildren; and his brother, Eli (LaVonne) Schmidt, of Sioux Falls, SD. He was preceded in death by his parents, and three brothers, LaVerne Wipf, Gene Schmidt, and John Schmidt.
Hello to you. Today is day two of my experiencing vertigo. When I turn a certain way I feel the spinning sensation. I haven’t taken a walk the past couple days for fear I would fall since my balance is off.
I had a doctors appointment this morning and it was for my ears and weight. I had a new provider again. I gained 5 pounds since my last visit which was very disappointing . I have been trying to walk and do Tai Chi but it isn’t enough. She changed up the allergy medicines since the stuff I’ve been taking wasn’t working to end the fullness in my ears. I have resolved to myself that I have to stop using Grub Hub – it’s too convenient to getting food that isn’t good for me. I stopped taking the Resilia oil of oregano as it wasn’t working for me. If anything it made things worse! If I can’t lose this weight we may end up getting me on a weight loss pill.
The medications I’m taking for my mental health, Depakote and Olanzapine, are notorious for weight gain. But as I have said, I’d rather be fat than crazy! I have never been this heavy before. I feel at times like I’m wearing a fat suite but I’m not giving up!
Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” [1]
Hello to you. It’s about bedtime as I write to you. I’m not tired yet and know if I try to sleep right now I will just toss and turn. So I will write to you and may be I will get tired!
I was sitting here thinking on what to write about and the word forever popped in. What is forever? As a Christian forever is what happens to us when we die. We die to our physical body and join Jesus and all of our loved ones in heaven for all of eternity – forever. I often wonder what that will be like. For me now I am flesh and bones with my eyes paying attention to my time left here on earth.
I told my therapist this last session that I can feel at times like I am starting to die. My physical health is not as good as it was just a couple years ago. All around me are people my age and younger dying. What makes me so special that I get to live? I have survived many things that take its toll on the body. Facing the end of my second marriage because of my own fault and little that was his really shattered me. Thank God for my family and friends that came to my pleas for help.
Dear Jesus I come before you with my broken self and ask for you to walk with me through what remains of my life here on earth. I love you so much. Thank you for all the earth angels you have put along my journey! Bless those who are like me on this journey. Bless all who are seeking you and may be just are a little lost. Amen.
This song has been with me for many years now. Like Enigma, there is a timelessness to this band:
I awakened in the city to utter darkness. I was running for hours and hours through deserted streets. between all those towers, there was only rain — only the rain.
I went through doors, I scoured the alleys. in the rain I climbed ridges. I walked over bridges, but there was no one there. I felt deaf, although my hearing was fair.
but there was only silence. not even the rain…
there must be more. I need you to quell my fears. I’ve felt it before. I need you to shed my tears.
the things I adore. I need you to feel my pain. I’m trapped like before. I need you to stop the rain.
I’ve cast myself into a prison, with bonds near impossible to break. I thought my life is built on reason, but now I know I’ve got to escape.
I’ve depraved myself of all I had, and thought I need to for my own sake. I didn’t think I would be so sad, but without you I cannot escape. not even the rain…
deep in my heart, I want you to pull me back. I’ve kept us apart, I want you to fix my wreck.
awake with a start, I want you to enter my mind. to re-cast my part, I want you to follow me blind.
I’ve cast myself into a prison, with bonds near impossible to break. I thought my life is built on reason, but now I know I’ve got to escape.
I’ve depraved myself of all I had, and thought I need to for my own sake. I didn’t think I would be so sad, but without you I cannot escape.
To be 