31 May 2026 The Hand Off and Birthday

June 1, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Uncategorized, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. It’s Sunday again! The week flew by didn’t it?! I forced myself to go to church despite having some slight vertigo. I’m so glad I did as I got to see my church fam – especially Jeannie, Terry, Cecil, Mark and Brenda. I love getting and giving hugs! Today was Communion Sunday which is always meaningful. Pastor Jason’s message today resonated with me. Feeling the way I did today, the weeble wobbles, makes it hard for me to commit more of myself to our churches needs. Some days it’s all I can do to get to church like today. We are growing and there are so many spaces that need to be filled! I am glad to be part of a prayer group that meets on Thursdays and when I’m able I go to a Monday coffee with women of Grace.

We were in John 14:12-14:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2014%3A12-14&version=NIV

https://youtu.be/rrrNdBqY_UU?si=lUWJ2vNc2aX0s3zv – The Hand Off – Pastor Jason Boyd

Today is my Dads heavenly birthday, he would be 83 today. I feel bad that I didn’t know my dad better. He didn’t ever really talk about his past. I’m ashamed to say that today is the first time I have read his obituary! I still haven’t fully grieved and or accepted that he’s gone. I miss the dad that dad was so much of his life. I miss his hugs that could make the world stand still. I miss his laughter and his smile. He had such a fun sense of humor. I miss him calling me and leaving voice messages – “hi Jackie this is your dad.” I miss him asking me to get him quarters from the bank. I miss decorating the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving with him. I just miss him alot! There are so many little things. I was proud of my dad for everything he did. I can remember when I would visit him and mom how many people that knew my dad and would say hello. He was kind of a local celebrity!

Part of his life is missing from his obituary and that is being married to my birth mom Jeannie and her subsequent suicide. This painful part of his past changed the course of both of our lives. Suicide does that so I’m not surprised for the omission. I only ever heard him speak of what happened when he told Dianne when he thought I was asleep in the backseat. I have never forgotten that! It was a horrible thing he went through! I feel bad that I put him through so much with my mental health issues during the latter years of his life.

Here is part of his obituary:

https://www.millerfh.com/obituary/larry-schmidt

LARRY’S OBITUARY

Larry Schmidt, Sioux Falls, SD, passed away Wednesday, November 1, 2023, at Avera Prince of Peace. He was 80.

Larry Jay Schmidt was born May 31, 1943, in Marion, SD, to Elias and Irene (Wipf) Schmidt. The family lived in Freeman, SD prior to moving to Sioux Falls when Larry was five years old. He attended Sioux Falls Washington Senior High School and then joined the US Navy. Following his honorable discharge from service, he sold insurance for Physicians Mutual. Larry served as a police officer in Freeman, SD, then later moved to Rapid City, SD where he continued in security.

On July 7, 1973, he was united in marriage to Dianne Warrington in Tea, SD. The couple made their home in Sioux Falls. Larry continued his career with security in Sioux Falls. In 1987, he and Dianne purchased Velvet Uniforms serving the Sioux Falls community and the law enforcement community in the area. He retired in 2008.

Larry was a member of St. Michael Parish, the Knights of Columbus, American Legion and VFW Honor Guards, and was a member of the Fraternal Order of Police Associate Lodge #1, where he had served as board member and president.

In his free time, Larry enjoyed genealogy and collecting coins.

Grateful for having shared his life are his wife, Dianne Schmidt, Sioux Falls, SD; daughter, Jackie Wygant, Middleton, ID; son, Jerry (Robin) Lemme, Dell Rapids, SD; four grandchildren; four great-grandchildren; and his brother, Eli (LaVonne) Schmidt, of Sioux Falls, SD. He was preceded in death by his parents, and three brothers, LaVerne Wipf, Gene Schmidt, and John Schmidt.

28 May 2026 Vertigo

May 29, 2026May 29, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Today is day two of my experiencing vertigo. When I turn a certain way I feel the spinning sensation. I haven’t taken a walk the past couple days for fear I would fall since my balance is off.

I had a doctors appointment this morning and it was for my ears and weight. I had a new provider again. I gained 5 pounds since my last visit which was very disappointing . I have been trying to walk and do Tai Chi but it isn’t enough. She changed up the allergy medicines since the stuff I’ve been taking wasn’t working to end the fullness in my ears. I have resolved to myself that I have to stop using Grub Hub – it’s too convenient to getting food that isn’t good for me. I stopped taking the Resilia oil of oregano as it wasn’t working for me. If anything it made things worse! If I can’t lose this weight we may end up getting me on a weight loss pill.

The medications I’m taking for my mental health, Depakote and Olanzapine, are notorious for weight gain. But as I have said, I’d rather be fat than crazy! I have never been this heavy before. I feel at times like I’m wearing a fat suite but I’m not giving up!

https://youtu.be/80LdOhMithw?si=Bil76fLeZYymK0f8 – 10 minute full body Tai Chi

For Strength & Courage

Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” [1]

26 May 2026 Forever

May 27, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. It’s about bedtime as I write to you. I’m not tired yet and know if I try to sleep right now I will just toss and turn. So I will write to you and may be I will get tired!

I was sitting here thinking on what to write about and the word forever popped in. What is forever? As a Christian forever is what happens to us when we die. We die to our physical body and join Jesus and all of our loved ones in heaven for all of eternity – forever. I often wonder what that will be like. For me now I am flesh and bones with my eyes paying attention to my time left here on earth.

I told my therapist this last session that I can feel at times like I am starting to die. My physical health is not as good as it was just a couple years ago. All around me are people my age and younger dying. What makes me so special that I get to live? I have survived many things that take its toll on the body. Facing the end of my second marriage because of my own fault and little that was his really shattered me. Thank God for my family and friends that came to my pleas for help.

Dear Jesus I come before you with my broken self and ask for you to walk with me through what remains of my life here on earth. I love you so much. Thank you for all the earth angels you have put along my journey! Bless those who are like me on this journey. Bless all who are seeking you and may be just are a little lost. Amen.

This song has been with me for many years now. Like Enigma, there is a timelessness to this band:

https://youtu.be/ett1ZgFKw-Y?si=-ks-opUm3ZuUqD79 – Mind in a box – Escape

I awakened in the city to utter darkness.
I was running for hours and hours
through deserted streets.
between all those towers,
there was only rain — only the rain.

I went through doors, I scoured the alleys.
in the rain I climbed ridges.
I walked over bridges, but there was no one there.
I felt deaf, although my hearing was fair.

but there was only silence.
not even the rain…

there must be more.
I need you to quell my fears.
I’ve felt it before.
I need you to shed my tears.

the things I adore.
I need you to feel my pain.
I’m trapped like before.
I need you to stop the rain.

I’ve cast myself into a prison,
with bonds near impossible to break.
I thought my life is built on reason,
but now I know I’ve got to escape.

I’ve depraved myself of all I had,
and thought I need to for my own sake.
I didn’t think I would be so sad,
but without you I cannot escape.
not even the rain…

deep in my heart,
I want you to pull me back.
I’ve kept us apart,
I want you to fix my wreck.

awake with a start,
I want you to enter my mind.
to re-cast my part,
I want you to follow me blind.

I’ve cast myself into a prison,
with bonds near impossible to break.
I thought my life is built on reason,
but now I know I’ve got to escape.

I’ve depraved myself of all I had,
and thought I need to for my own sake.
I didn’t think I would be so sad,
but without you I cannot escape.

escape, it’s not there!
not even the rain…

24 May 2026 The Water Into Wine Miracle

May 25, 2026 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Television

Hello to you on this sunny Sunday afternoon. Today has been really nice. The day started with me asking for God to show me if I should go to church. I had a really tough night – not a full uninterrupted night of sleep. My feet carried me to what I was supposed to do and I went to church! As always, I was glad I pushed through! We were in John 2:1-11:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%202%3A1-11&version=NIV

https://youtu.be/4SCwUVCij3c?si=E_2lCWsRv_1qNR6a – Water Into Wine Miracle – Pastor Jason Boyd

One of the songs we sang today:

https://youtu.be/UoHrBNTfzIs?si=87iOGC42G9nt74vi – Gratitude – Brandon Lake

https://youtu.be/MhjvAAkXbj0?si=b8uk_rFs8alnC0rB – The Chosen – Jesus Turns water into wine

After church I went and bought groceries finally. It was expensive – the coffee I buy was $15 by itself. I’m so glad I only have to buy for Link and I. I usually have groceries last for almost a month. Then I went to have lunch with my Aunt and Uncle. Link was so happy – he loves them so much! I also got to see my sweet cousin Laura who is helping put together a ladies high tea with my Aunt. I sat with my Uncle John and watched a few episodes of a show called Rosemary and Thyme. It’s about two friends who tend to gardens and solve murder mysteries.

22 May 2026 Roses

May 23, 2026 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you in your now. How are you doing? I am writing to you from my favorite spot – the couch with my panda boy Link. I remembered my phone for the first walk today and was rewarded with roses in bloom everywhere!

Now is a time of roses in the neighborhood

I love this picture with his Momma Tippie. He is almost all gray and white now. You can see why we called him panda boy!

I started the new higher dose of olanzapine today. I haven’t really noticed a difference yet – it takes some time for the body to adjust. I am still having the weeble wobble stuff going on with my ears. May be the doctor I will be getting will have new ideas from the doctor I just had!

I asked the internet for positive news about roses and this is what came up as an answer:

Modern rose breeding has successfully solved the historical trade-off between stunning petal colors and deep fragrance. Geneticists have identified the specific pathways that allow new cultivars to produce vibrant blooms without sacrificing their signature scent, while also creating highly resilient, heat-tolerant varieties that require far less maintenance.

Exciting Developments in the Rose World

Stronger Fragrance & Genetics: Molecular researchers have mapped the complex DNA of modern roses. They have isolated the genes responsible for prolonged, repeat blooming and are finding ways to bring back robust fragrance without losing bold, vibrant colors.

Ultra-Resilient Cultivars: Modern varieties are increasingly engineered for heat tolerance, meaning they can thrive in challenging climates without needing constant chemical interventions. Disease-resistant shrub and groundcover roses are now widely available for home gardens.

True Blue Blooms: After years of botanical research, horticulturalists have successfully cultivated and refined “true blue” roses using natural pigment engineering—a color that was previously considered botanically impossible.

Where to Find & Explore the Best Roses

Whether you are looking to plant a low-maintenance garden or just want to admire award-winning blooms, these trusted platforms can help:

American Rose Society: Access official care guides, find local rose societies in Idaho, and browse the latest award-winning rose introductions.

Heirloom Roses: Shop a massive collection of own-root roses that are known for their vigor, fragrance, and disease resistance.

David Austin Roses: Browse the iconic, heavily fragrant English roses that combine classic, old-world charm with hardy, modern disease resistance.

Have you ever noticed how most roses you buy in the store have no smell? I hope that will change.

Dear Jesus I thank you for this day. I thank you for all the beauty in this world and my being able to get out and enjoy it. Please continue to be with my cousin Heidi on her healing journey. I pray for your presence with the elderly, the sick, the unhoused, the poor, the hungry, the addicted, neglected and abused. Amen.

21 May 2026 Positive

May 22, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. I just scrapped an entire post because I know not many people will want to read a rant about how our wild spaces are being violated. I think a lot of people are just so beat up by this world right now that they have become apathetic to it all. They need good news! What is going right with the world?!!! I found the following on the good news network page:

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/prince-william-to-sell-20-of-his-duchy-landholdings-to-build-affordable-housing-and-restore-nature/ :

Prince William is selling 20% of the Duchy of Cornwell estate to fund affordable housing and nature projects over the next decade.

Another good news spot is today.com:

https://www.today.com/food/people/maddys-ice-cream-truck-gives-out-free-ice-cream-to-kids-rcna344574 :

Ice Cream Truck Gives Free Scoop to Little Boy Who Couldn’t Afford It. Now It’s Free for All Kids This Summer

“We don’t turn kids away when they don’t have money,” says Madyson Silvagnoli, owner of Maddy’s Ice Cream and More.

In between all of the bad and sad news are good things happening. My hope is in Jesus who manifests himself in good people and happenings each day. You just have to look! I can remember living in a Section 8 apartment but if you look at the pictures I took living there you would never know. Kyle, Sam and I looked for and found the beauty in between the trash. In between the ugliness of war and chaos are good people doing good things. All is not lost!

19 May 2026 Making Your Bed

May 19, 2026May 19, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health

Hello to you. How are you? I just had my appointment with my therapist and she shared this video with me when she asked if I make my bed in the morning – my answer was yes:

https://youtu.be/sBAqF00gBGk?si=HLdfeB1wnQUGcJg5 – University of Texas at Austin 2014 Commencement Address Speech By Admiral McRaven Leaves The Audience Speechless With Great Words Of Wisdom.

Such a seemingly simple thing to do really isn’t. When people sink into deep depression they can barely get out of bed much less make it. With the stuff I have going on with my ears and energy levels mornings are very tough for me.

Band I recently found:

https://youtu.be/6xqRvyUmnHw?si=UffExsdRsw11uqIg – Dead On A Sunday – Goodbye Horses

15 May 2026 Lead or Follow

May 16, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Are you a leader or a follower?

Good evening. It’s almost bed time as I write to you. It’s hard to believe another week is coming to a close! For some reason my neighbors are shooting off fireworks- thank goodness Link doesn’t get bothered by them!

The prompt for today makes me look back to when I was Active Duty in the Air Force for 16 years. During my time in service I was both a leader and a follower depending on the circumstances I was in. In the military there is a long chain of command leading all the way to the President. You have a supervisor who has a supervisor who has a supervisor and so on all the way up. I can remember having difficulty following orders – I never just blindly followed. When you are a low ranking individual you really don’t have much of a say. As an airmen I got in trouble on more than one occasion of breaking the rules! I had come from a strict home life so you would think following orders in the military would come easily but it didn’t. To be an effective leader you need a pretty thick skin which I haven’t always had. As a young person I was extremely empathetic and had trouble regulating my emotions. Nowadays I have a much thicker skin- almost too much so!

Dear Jesus thank you for this day and all the blessings in it. I love you Lord. I pray that your presence and love flow to all those who are lost in this world. I pray you bless the sick, those on a healing journey like my cousin Heidi, the poor, the unhoused, the addicted, the abused, the neglected to include all animals. Amen.

https://youtu.be/XNjcqx4sW44?si=xA3pp6tf3rbRWRWC – 10 minute Tai Chi

10 May 2026 Persistent Faith

May 10, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you on this beautiful Mothers Day Sunday. I went to church and got lots of hugs as I wasn’t there last Sunday. I sat with my friend Jeannie which was really nice. We fill empty spaces for eachother. She her daughter and me my Mom. I love her very much and am so grateful for her friendship.

We were in Matthew 15: 22 – 28:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2015%3A22-28&version=NIV

https://youtu.be/gL5FdRrZvLQ?si=-FLyivT6Kj8olaJ6 – Persistent Faith – Jason Boyd

As Pastor Jason says, Jesus answers prayers with a yes, no or not yet. I have been praying for healing for my cousin Heidi as well as for other members of my family, friends and even myself. Seeing my cousin this weekend was evidence of Gods healing power and a definite YES! I had a praise today as my back didn’t hurt for the first day in weeks. The stuff going on with my ears is still there but wasn’t as bad today. I will take any relief!

I was going to have breakfast at the Sunrise after church but when I got there even the little tables I sit at were full and people were waiting to be seated. So I went home and had one of my breakfast sandwiches. Link was happy to see me even if I didn’t have his bacon! Lol!

9 May 2026 Like A Banana

May 9, 2026 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello there! Hope this finds you well. I am home from an early Mother’s Day brunch with my cousins and Aunt and Uncle. This was the first time seeing my cousin Heidi after her four brain surgeries. She is doing so good! You can hardly tell anything has happened to her. She is living proof of God answering prayers. Her hair is short but growing out. She described herself as a browning banana with all her bruises! We thought that was so funny! I think all of us feel like yellowing and bruised bananas these days!

There were a lot of grateful tears shed today. Hearing how grateful Heidi is to God for pulling her through everything really touched all our hearts. She is so brave!

My Aunt put together beautiful spread with charcuterie boards of meat, cheese and fruit. The boys went out and got us ladies bouquets of flowers. So beautiful!