God – To be

31 August 2021 Gathered

August 31, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you ? I am doing pretty good this morning . I did something different and really enjoyed it . Today I’m thinking of the Bible passage New International Version
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” My Aunt invited me to a short Bible study today with one of her dear friends. There was just the three of us .

It really felt good to talk about God and read from psalms (psalm 145) which is the last psalm written by David and psalm 104 which was our hostesses favorite. It felt nice to get out of the house and spend some time with a couple of women who truly love God and have a strong testimony in how God has worked on their lives.

I honestly didn’t want it to end! My drawing today is symbolic of what we did today .

30 August 2021 Being Happy

August 30, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing as you visit me here today ? It’s morning as I write to you . The mornings are getting cooler and I can feel fall is on its way!

This morning my thoughts turn to the concept of being happy . What does being happy even mean ? It’s such a fleeting thing!! Even if you have everything you want and need in this life will you be truly happy?

Some people seem to come by happiness so easily! They always have a smile, easy to laugh , they are easy to please and just have an air of contentment around them. I want to be more like these people again. I used to be that kind of person and then 2020 happened !

What does being happy mean to me now ? We are already almost through 2021 and I’m still figuring it out! I am getting fleeting glimpses of what it means for me . When my ex and I used to be down we would do something I need to get back in the habit of doing – mental gratitude list . We would ask each other “what are you grateful for today ?” So many things to be grateful for ! Could gratitude be a pathway to happiness ?

What am I grateful for today ? That I have the privilege of writing this blog, my health, Link, my family and friends , thankful for a God that answers my prayers – so much more !

27 August 2021 Sentience

August 27, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today ? I’m doing well. This morning I had a routine that actually worked for me and I feel pretty good. Even with waking up in the night !

This morning my thoughts turn to sentience . I have long wondered if the earth could even be God! What if each planet was a sentient being ? I know that a little far fetched but thinking about what is possible is it really so out there ?

When I think about this I’m thinking about how the earth functions and how much alike our functions are to the earth. The earth breathes, sweats, relieves pressure, has storms …..so many things like humans and has eyes everywhere ! Almost every living species on the planet can see or feel! I wonder if by having us and countless other species that is how the earth keeps from going insane! Just some stuff to think about!

How about all these planets that have suddenly appeared like they were hiding in plain sight ? I don’t think it’s a coincidence .

https://api.nationalgeographic.com/distribution/public/amp/science/article/18-earth-size-planets-found-hiding-in-plain-sight

30 July 2021 Forgiveness

July 30, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you today? It’s really hot here today. I’m about ready for summer to be over! I’m sure I’m not alone with that sentiment.

Well yesterday was a day of sudden changes and today is about forgiveness. Sometimes people do things that they regret. I had to pray a lot about this…. Let God. I could have chosen to shut the door on this person but I don’t think that’s what God wanted me to do . I cannot ignore the red flags and warnings but something tells me these are growing pains. The person in question has been through a lot of troubles too and made mistakes. I have been through a lot too, made mistakes . What if everyone had shut the door on me ? I try to keep that in mind when I am dealing with these sorts of things.

29 July 2021 Sudden Changes

July 29, 2021July 29, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you today ? I’m doing alright I think . I am in the midst of sudden changes again. I thought I had made a friend but I was wrong . So I am on my own again and I’m lead back to blogging more regularly and drawing pictures that are kind of a reflection of what’s going on in my life . Today’s drawing shows an upside down world in the blink of an eye . I haven’t been using the gematria system lately because it only seemed to make sense to me!

Sometimes it seems like God throws curve balls and the reasons aren’t immediately clear . I have to believe something better is in store for me .

18 May 2021 Staying Positive

May 19, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I hope this finds you well. Today I had to exercise my staying positive muscles . I believe that what you focus on gains power. So I have been trying to make a conscious effort to focus on the good in my life versus where my life is lacking . I am applying this train of thought in what I think, speak and write.

Let’s see what staying positive is in the numbers:

Staying positive in the English ordinal system is 210 -light and shadow process for one against the unknown

15 May 2021 Healing

May 15, 2021 by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you ?! I hope this finds you well. I am doing better after what happened . I’m just taking it one day at a time. Sometimes things happen to us to make us stronger even though it doesn’t seem like it at the time . I think God knows my heart. God knows I am still healing from the divorce. God knows it’s nearly impossible to just put someone in such a vast void. True love takes time! True love for me will take lots of healing and time . God is working on it !

Healing in the English ordinal system equals 56 – a all senses all vices in check but one experience

23 March 2021 Guidance

March 23, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I am doing ok today. I got Link out for a walk early and sought to hear God’s voice and all I heard was the wind!

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left , your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” Isaiah 30:21 NIV Bible Promises for You

It seems like I have been seeking more guidance from God and the harder I try the more difficult it has become. Talking to God used to be almost effortless. I have had to ask where is God really?! Is God in the wind? Is God in another persons voice? Is God in something to read?

I guess I am missing my manic relationship with God. When I was manic it felt like I was in a constant conversation with God and had to exert little to no effort. God was with me when I wanted to draw, write, sing, take photographs — all the ways I used to express myself God was there! I guess not being manic is the price my creative self is having to pay.

I have to believe that God has some sort of plan for me and what I’ve have been going through. Sometimes I wonder if what I’m going through is just God adding to my personal resume! God knows from my past that I will use my pain to help someone else. What I have learned from the past is we aren’t put through anything more than we can handle and what we go through can be used to connect more deeply with someone else.

Not many people know about what it means to be Bipolar and my family has had to learn a lot from me and what I have shared with them. God had me draw the mental health card for a reason and I will continue to seek guidance on where God’s voice is as I continue to go through that.

“body” in the English Ordinal system equals 46

“guidance” in the English Ordinal system equals 64

24 September 2020 Who is God

September 24, 2020 by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you doing today? I hope this finds you doing well in your here and now as you visit me here.

I was trying to think of what to write today and a conversation I just had on healthfulchats.com helped me. A long while ago I had written a paper about my theory that the first great beings were trees and everything came after that. I had it posted here but have long since deleted it, In Beginning was Symbiosis. Some of the oldest life forms on the planet are trees and a few of them are still around https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oldest_trees. Well thinking about that subject made me think about God and who God is.

People often ask me if I believe in God and I say yes. The natural tendency after that is to want to talk about the bible. Then if I have chosen Jesus as my personal savior and to that that I always say Jesus is the best part of the book. Who’s flesh and blood was sacrificed in those early years so that early Bible’s might exist? Trees, animals and plants.

What I believe is the Earth is God and everything and everyone alive on top is an extension of God. For every right there is a left aka cause and affect. There is only good and evil depending on who is perceiving things. People make things good and evil. An example I used today about this was the dandelion. To at least 5 or 6 species of insect the dandelion is a food source. I witnessed this myself in my backyard. So to much of creation the dandelion is food but to some people and a bunch of weed fertilizer companies, the dandelion is just a weed. Who taught them it was just a weed?

Just like with most everything in existence, dandelions were created for a reason and have a reason for existence. To me they are a flower with antioxident properties. A little info I found about dandelions there are tons of websites: https://jhiblog.org/2020/05/20/a-dandelion-story-from-medieval-herbals-to-wholefoods/

“Who is God” in the English Ordinal system equals 100 (this is pretty interesting – 1 and two zero’s)

“dandelion” in the English Ordinal system equals 78

8 May 2020 Leaps of Faith – 12 years

May 8, 2020 by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing? I hope this finds you well in your world. In my world today is about faith, celebrating and reflecting on 12 years of marriage. A big part of this journey has been about taking leaps of faith both big ones and small.

I believe, and it has been my experience that every person that comes into your life teaches you things. My husband has taught me a bunch of things like having faith in people, places and things that may have failed you. It’s everything from the milk you buy at the store to people in your life. A person that has failed him, especially these past couple of years has been me. The road we’ve been traveling has been very bumpy. Being married to someone diagnosed at bipolar can make marriage very difficult. There is a lot of thinking you know someone and then you don’t know them at all. You can’t see what being bipolar is except through behavior.

To look back at the past 12 years, our whole relationship has been leaps of faith.

Our shared past is full of huge leaps of faith! He took a huge one flying out to meet me the first time after we met as two video game avatars, Prinzessa and Efess in FFXI (a MMORPG) in the Valkrum Dunes. Shortly after we married, he had to stand by me when I had a hysterectomy which meant we wouldn’t have children in our marriage. We both took another giant leap when we chose to move ahead of the family to Texas waiting to hear if his Dad landed a job. Choosing to become homeowners instead of lifelong renters was big jump for us. All the little jumps like the things he and I did together by helping neighbors, getting involved in the planning of the city and helping out with Animal Control. Looking back, very little has come easily to us but when we’ve taken the chance, it’s been worth it!

“leap of faith” in the English Ordinal system equals 99

“thirteen” in the English Ordinal system equals 99

(both my husband and I were born on the 13th)

If you look at the word faith, it’s about believing in something and or someone you can’t always see. Some people have a faith in an institution like their church of choice, government or health system, some have faith in an object, others a person and for many it’s having faith in a God they cannot see.

“faith” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

“brain” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

“tend the garden of marriage daily” in the English Ordinal system equals 269 – God and people right in this!

God” in the English Ordinal system equals 26

people” in the English Ordinal system equals 69

I am hoping that we have many years before us. I am so grateful he is my husband! His parents and mine, our grandparents and so many before have lead what it means to be married by their example. No matter how tough things get, you can still work things out. I am hoping and praying that what is ahead will be worth all that we’ve already been through together thus far.