Category: Leading Life by Example

4 June 2026 Help

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. I hope this finds you doing well. I had a nice start to my day by going and seeing my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt felt like I needed their company and she was right. She made me a cup of coffee and a yummy breakfast sandwich which I appreciated. I had called the VA to schedule an appointment for a follow up with my primary care provider. They didn’t have me scheduled for anything other than my talking doctor. When I called to make an appointment I couldn’t come up with the words to ask for the help I needed. It doesn’t seem like anything can be done for me. My Aunt wants me to persue the weight loss pill Wegovy as I am prediabetic and should qualify for it. My cousin who came by while I was there helped me get an appointment scheduled to talk to them. I may have to have a sleep study in order to qualify for it. I would need to get help getting to a sleep study as they do them at the Boise VA. I will see a doctor next Tuesday and we’ll see what happens. I just know I hate the way I feel right now. I really need to lose weight! We talked about how I can eat better – healthier snacks and meals. I may have to take the MOVE class through the VA which is designed to help with weight loss. I’m not good with following instructions so this whole part of my journey may be a test to change that!

What is MOVE!? 

VA’s MOVE! Weight Management Program for Veterans can help you adopt a healthy lifestyle, meet your health goals, and manage your weight. Participating in MOVE! can increase your ability and confidence to make healthy behavior, nutrition, and physical activity changes.

If you have a higher body weight, losing 5%-10% of your weight can improve your health. Keeping a weight that is healthy for you can help you feel good and have energy to do the things you want to do.

With the help of your MOVE! care team, you can:

  • improve your quality of life, and even live longer
  • reduce health risks
  • prevent or reverse certain diseases

VA also offers weight management medicines and surgery. These options can be helpful when used along with lifestyle changes that are part of MOVE!. Talk with your health care team to learn more about these choices and how they can help you meet your goals.

Dear Jesus I pray that you guide my path as I am seeking relief from my health issues. I thank you for my family and friends that are trying to help me with their prayers and support. As always I ask you to be with my family and friends. I pray for your loving arms to reach out to the sick, the poor, those healing (Heidi), to the hungry, the addicted, first responders, those in harms way and victims of war. Thank you for being present through my family today, Amen.

26 May 2026 Forever

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. It’s about bedtime as I write to you. I’m not tired yet and know if I try to sleep right now I will just toss and turn. So I will write to you and may be I will get tired!

I was sitting here thinking on what to write about and the word forever popped in. What is forever? As a Christian forever is what happens to us when we die. We die to our physical body and join Jesus and all of our loved ones in heaven for all of eternity – forever. I often wonder what that will be like. For me now I am flesh and bones with my eyes paying attention to my time left here on earth.

I told my therapist this last session that I can feel at times like I am starting to die. My physical health is not as good as it was just a couple years ago. All around me are people my age and younger dying. What makes me so special that I get to live? I have survived many things that take its toll on the body. Facing the end of my second marriage because of my own fault and little that was his really shattered me. Thank God for my family and friends that came to my pleas for help.

Dear Jesus I come before you with my broken self and ask for you to walk with me through what remains of my life here on earth. I love you so much. Thank you for all the earth angels you have put along my journey! Bless those who are like me on this journey. Bless all who are seeking you and may be just are a little lost. Amen.

This song has been with me for many years now. Like Enigma, there is a timelessness to this band:

https://youtu.be/ett1ZgFKw-Y?si=-ks-opUm3ZuUqD79 – Mind in a box – Escape

I awakened in the city to utter darkness.
I was running for hours and hours
through deserted streets.
between all those towers,
there was only rain — only the rain.

I went through doors, I scoured the alleys.
in the rain I climbed ridges.
I walked over bridges, but there was no one there.
I felt deaf, although my hearing was fair.

but there was only silence.
not even the rain…

there must be more.
I need you to quell my fears.
I’ve felt it before.
I need you to shed my tears.

the things I adore.
I need you to feel my pain.
I’m trapped like before.
I need you to stop the rain.

I’ve cast myself into a prison,
with bonds near impossible to break.
I thought my life is built on reason,
but now I know I’ve got to escape.

I’ve depraved myself of all I had,
and thought I need to for my own sake.
I didn’t think I would be so sad,
but without you I cannot escape.
not even the rain…

deep in my heart,
I want you to pull me back.
I’ve kept us apart,
I want you to fix my wreck.

awake with a start,
I want you to enter my mind.
to re-cast my part,
I want you to follow me blind.

I’ve cast myself into a prison,
with bonds near impossible to break.
I thought my life is built on reason,
but now I know I’ve got to escape.

I’ve depraved myself of all I had,
and thought I need to for my own sake.
I didn’t think I would be so sad,
but without you I cannot escape.

escape, it’s not there!
not even the rain…

25 May 2025 Remembering

by saymber, posted in drawing, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well from where you are visiting me here. Today is Memorial Day here in the US and my deceased birth mom’s 84 birthday.

Drawing I did of my mom Jeannie many years ago

My thoughts and prayers go out to all the family and friends of those who have fought and died for their country. In addition to that my thoughts turn to those who have fought and lost the battle with mental illness. My mom Jeannie, at the age of 26 is such a person. I was afraid for much of my early life that I wasn’t going to live past 26 – end up just like my mom. I am now 58 – well beyond my fears!

One of the most special memories I have of celebrating Memorial Day is with my exes family going to Arlington National Cemetery. My exes dad and his family played taps at exactly 3 pm at different corners of the cemetery:

https://youtu.be/nhxxOvdM1SE?si=yj7rOt0BimzB6M98 – Taps – We share a Memorial Day tribute, courtesy of the U.S. Air Force Band. It features a bugler from The Ceremonial Brass performing Taps at Culpeper National Cemetery in Virginia

Taps for Veterans Every Memorial Day at 3:00 PM local time, Americans from coast to coast pause to honor those who gave their lives in service to our country.

I nearly lost it seeing so many graves. There were several new graves. The ages of those fallen were my age and younger. Gone too soon!

22 May 2026 Roses

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you in your now. How are you doing? I am writing to you from my favorite spot – the couch with my panda boy Link. I remembered my phone for the first walk today and was rewarded with roses in bloom everywhere!

Now is a time of roses in the neighborhood
I love this picture with his Momma Tippie. He is almost all gray and white now. You can see why we called him panda boy!

I started the new higher dose of olanzapine today. I haven’t really noticed a difference yet – it takes some time for the body to adjust. I am still having the weeble wobble stuff going on with my ears. May be the doctor I will be getting will have new ideas from the doctor I just had!

I asked the internet for positive news about roses and this is what came up as an answer:

Modern rose breeding has successfully solved the historical trade-off between stunning petal colors and deep fragrance. Geneticists have identified the specific pathways that allow new cultivars to produce vibrant blooms without sacrificing their signature scent, while also creating highly resilient, heat-tolerant varieties that require far less maintenance. 

Exciting Developments in the Rose World

Stronger Fragrance & Genetics: Molecular researchers have mapped the complex DNA of modern roses. They have isolated the genes responsible for prolonged, repeat blooming and are finding ways to bring back robust fragrance without losing bold, vibrant colors.

Ultra-Resilient Cultivars: Modern varieties are increasingly engineered for heat tolerance, meaning they can thrive in challenging climates without needing constant chemical interventions. Disease-resistant shrub and groundcover roses are now widely available for home gardens.

True Blue Blooms: After years of botanical research, horticulturalists have successfully cultivated and refined “true blue” roses using natural pigment engineering—a color that was previously considered botanically impossible. 

Where to Find & Explore the Best Roses

Whether you are looking to plant a low-maintenance garden or just want to admire award-winning blooms, these trusted platforms can help:

American Rose Society: Access official care guides, find local rose societies in Idaho, and browse the latest award-winning rose introductions.

Heirloom Roses: Shop a massive collection of own-root roses that are known for their vigor, fragrance, and disease resistance.

David Austin Roses: Browse the iconic, heavily fragrant English roses that combine classic, old-world charm with hardy, modern disease resistance.

Have you ever noticed how most roses you buy in the store have no smell? I hope that will change.

Dear Jesus I thank you for this day.  I thank you for all the beauty in this world and my being able to get out and enjoy it. Please continue to be with my cousin Heidi on her healing journey. I pray for your presence with the elderly, the sick, the unhoused, the poor, the hungry, the addicted, neglected and abused. Amen.

21 May 2026 Positive

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. I just scrapped an entire post because I know not many people will want to read a rant about how our wild spaces are being violated. I think a lot of people are just so beat up by this world right now that they have become apathetic to it all. They need good news! What is going right with the world?!!! I found the following on the good news network page:

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/prince-william-to-sell-20-of-his-duchy-landholdings-to-build-affordable-housing-and-restore-nature/ :

Prince William is selling 20% of the Duchy of Cornwell estate to fund affordable housing and nature projects over the next decade.

Another good news spot is today.com:

https://www.today.com/food/people/maddys-ice-cream-truck-gives-out-free-ice-cream-to-kids-rcna344574 :

Ice Cream Truck Gives Free Scoop to Little Boy Who Couldn’t Afford It. Now It’s Free for All Kids This Summer

“We don’t turn kids away when they don’t have money,” says Madyson Silvagnoli, owner of Maddy’s Ice Cream and More.

In between all of the bad and sad news are good things happening. My hope is in Jesus who manifests himself in good people and happenings each day. You just have to look! I can remember living in a Section 8 apartment but if you look at the pictures I took living there you would never know. Kyle, Sam and I looked for and found the beauty in between the trash. In between the ugliness of war and chaos are good people doing good things. All is not lost!

19 May 2026 Making Your Bed

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health

Hello to you. How are you? I just had my appointment with my therapist and she shared this video with me when she asked if I make my bed in the morning – my answer was yes:

https://youtu.be/sBAqF00gBGk?si=HLdfeB1wnQUGcJg5 – University of Texas at Austin 2014 Commencement Address Speech By Admiral McRaven Leaves The Audience Speechless With Great Words Of Wisdom.

Such a seemingly simple thing to do really isn’t. When people sink into deep depression they can barely get out of bed much less make it. With the stuff I have going on with my ears and energy levels mornings are very tough for me.

Band I recently found:

https://youtu.be/6xqRvyUmnHw?si=UffExsdRsw11uqIg – Dead On A Sunday – Goodbye Horses

15 May 2026 Lead or Follow

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Are you a leader or a follower?

Good evening. It’s almost bed time as I write to you. It’s hard to believe another week is coming to a close! For some reason my neighbors are shooting off fireworks- thank goodness Link doesn’t get bothered by them!

The prompt for today makes me look back to when I was Active Duty in the Air Force for 16 years. During my time in service I was both a leader and a follower depending on the circumstances I was in. In the military there is a long chain of command leading all the way to the President. You have a supervisor who has a supervisor who has a supervisor and so on all the way up. I can remember having difficulty following orders – I never just blindly followed. When you are a low ranking individual you really don’t have much of a say. As an airmen I got in trouble on more than one occasion of breaking the rules! I had come from a strict home life so you would think following orders in the military would come easily but it didn’t. To be an effective leader you need a pretty thick skin which I haven’t always had. As a young person I was extremely empathetic and had trouble regulating my emotions. Nowadays I have a much thicker skin- almost too much so!

Dear Jesus thank you for this day and all the blessings in it. I love you Lord. I pray that your presence and love flow to all those who are lost in this world. I pray you bless the sick, those on a healing journey like my cousin Heidi, the poor, the unhoused, the addicted, the abused, the neglected to include all animals. Amen.

https://youtu.be/XNjcqx4sW44?si=xA3pp6tf3rbRWRWC – 10 minute Tai Chi

10 May 2026 Persistent Faith

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you on this beautiful Mothers Day Sunday. I went to church and got lots of hugs as I wasn’t there last Sunday. I sat with my friend Jeannie which was really nice. We fill empty spaces for eachother. She her daughter and me my Mom. I love her very much and am so grateful for her friendship.

We were in Matthew 15: 22 – 28:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2015%3A22-28&version=NIV

https://youtu.be/gL5FdRrZvLQ?si=-FLyivT6Kj8olaJ6 – Persistent Faith – Jason Boyd

As Pastor Jason says, Jesus answers prayers with a yes, no or not yet. I have been praying for healing for my cousin Heidi as well as for other members of my family, friends and even myself. Seeing my cousin this weekend was evidence of Gods healing power and a definite YES! I had a praise today as my back didn’t hurt for the first day in weeks. The stuff going on with my ears is still there but wasn’t as bad today. I will take any relief!

I was going to have breakfast at the Sunrise after church but when I got there even the little tables I sit at were full and people were waiting to be seated. So I went home and had one of my breakfast sandwiches. Link was happy to see me even if I didn’t have his bacon! Lol!

20 April 2026 Everyday

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs
The next phase of the dandelions

Hello to you. How are you doing? I’m doing ok – just back from my second walk today. It’s really warm! It’s 74 degrees right now. Today began early as Link had his grooming appointment with Clean Pups Diana. She does such a good job with him!

He looks so much better!

My heart goes out to the families that lost their little ones in Louisiana – so senseless! I hope the women involved will be surrounded with love and healing. They will need so much understanding and kindness if they survive their injuries:

https://www.npr.org/2026/04/19/nx-s1-5790483/mass-shooting-eight-children-louisiana-shrevepor :

A gunman killed eight children and wounded two women in a Northwest Louisiana incident that stemmed from a domestic disturbance, the Shreveport Police Department said Sunday.

The adult male suspect is dead, authorities said. Police named the suspect as 31-year-old Shamar Elkins, of Shreveport. Elkins was believed to be the father of seven of the children killed, Shreveport Police Cpl. Christopher Bordelon said.

https://youtu.be/N_lrrq_opng?si=kUDiXWpCESMfNxYO – Mercyme – I Can Only Imagine

Can Only Imagine

Song by MercyMe

OverviewLyrics

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes would see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine
Yeah

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees, will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees, will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine
I can only imagine, yeah-yeah
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Bart Millard

https://youtu.be/HuV2ID4PVgA?si=9CnoJb3AKUF92Yr1 – Why – Enigma

Why!…

Song by Enigma ‧ 1996

OverviewLyrics

I was childish and unfair
To you, my only friend
I regret, but now it’s too late
I can’t show you any more

The things I’ve learned from you
‘Cause life just took you away
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)

Nobody gives an answer
I’m just asking why?
But someday we’ll meet again
And I’ll ask you

I’ll ask you why?
Why it has to be like this
I’m asking you why?
Please, give me an answer

Many years and stupid fights
Till we accept to see
How it was and it’ll always be
Why it has to be like this?
Why we don’t realize?

Why we’re too blind to see the one
Who’s always on our side?
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)

Nobody gives an answer
I’m just asking why?
Just tell me why?
Why it has to be like this

That the good ones disappear
I’m asking you why?
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)

Nobody gives an answer
I’m just asking why?
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)

I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)
I’m asking why? (I’m asking why?)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Michael Cretu

Why!… lyrics © Enigma Songs Edition

Prayer I found online specifically for victims of gun violence:

A Prayer for Healing and Comfort
“God of mercy, our hearts ache for those injured in acts of violence. We pray for healing for those who are injured and hospitalized. We pray for comfort for families and friends of each victim. Give solace to grieving communities, and bring peace to anxious hearts. Bring them healing and peace in the face of this tragedy. Amen

12 Apr 2026 What God Wants

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you on this rainy Sunday afternoon. Today has been uneventful. This morning was church. I sat with my friends in our usual spot in row J. I like that spot because the floor is more level and it’s easier to stand. My back was not being my friend today! I was surprised to see Jeannie with Roy who has gotten so thin. He is determined to go to church and she is kind enough to help him! I’m always glad to sit with them and my other friends Terry and Cecil. God is definitely at work in Roy.

Today we were in Matthew 19:16-30:

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’” “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?” Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

https://youtu.be/m9-eKzm_yWw?si=18iVnOyzP7r_39Vk – Money, Money, Money – Pastor Jason Boyd

The take away from this sermon is that God doesn’t want our money or possessions. He wants our hearts. Jason asked what is it in our lives that keeps our hearts from him. This question calls for reflection and thought. What do I focus on more than God? Honestly it’s my body right now. I used to do more until I hurt my back and had the Weeble wobble stuff going on in my head. Every day I ask God to heal me so I might be a more fit vessel. I wonder what would happen if I stopped focusing on myself and just focused on Jesus! What we focus on gains more power and influence in our lives.