8 February 2020 Amusing yourself

Hello to you.  It’s Saturday afternoon as I write to you in your here and now.  How are you?  I hope well.  I am having some shall I say, “alone time” right now and find myself challenged to find things to do.  Today I took out the trusty cribbage and chessboards and found myself quickly bored with the board lol.  I write and draw a lot, sometimes paint, take pictures, enjoy almost every genre of music (some more than others), love to dance and be physically active, enjoy good food, truly enjoy being outside with God and sometimes play a video game here and there.  I enjoy making things but don’t really have an outlet for the things I make.  I think it is safe to say, at least for my house, you can have too many home made blankets!  Hobbies can get expensive no matter what they are.  When you are on a fixed income you have to watch your spending, at least that has been my personal choice about it.

Living where I do, most of the activities that I could participate in require me to spend money.  Driving to even a “free” place can get expensive over time.  So I have learned to amuse myself the best I can in the parameters in which I live.  For many, I think, it would be quite a dull existence.

I have planted a seed, if you want to call it that, for the God of my understanding to gradually and tangibly, put people in my life that are interested in the sorts of things I am interested in.  Some time ago, I had a “tribe” here, but everyone went their separate ways and all are extremely busy with their lives and pursuit of their dreams and or livelihoods.   Some of what I’m interested in may be considered “fringe” type things – much of which is in the spiritual, scientific and paranormal realms.

Sometimes when you plant a seed with God it takes time and the right “soil” in which for the seed to germinate. 

https://www.ridingthebeast.com/gematria-calculator/

seed = 33

one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134

one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125

one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158

one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140

one three four” in the English Ordinal system equals 150

one five two” in the English Ordinal system equals 134

one four two” in the English Ordinal system equals 152

one three six” in the English Ordinal system equals 142

one five four” in the English Ordinal system equals 136

one four four” in the English Ordinal system equals 154

one two six” in the English Ordinal system equals 144

one one two” in the English Ordinal system equals 126

three three” in the English Ordinal system equals 112

seed” in the English Ordinal system equals 33

germinate = 92

one three four” in the English Ordinal system equals 150

one five two” in the English Ordinal system equals 134

one four two” in the English Ordinal system equals 152

one three six” in the English Ordinal system equals 142

one five four” in the English Ordinal system equals 136

one four four” in the English Ordinal system equals 154

one six two” in the English Ordinal system equals 144

one zero zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 162

nine two” in the English Ordinal system equals 100

germinate” in the English Ordinal system equals 92

one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134

soil = 55

one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125

one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158

one zero nine” in the English Ordinal system equals 140

eight four” in the English Ordinal system equals 109

five five” in the English Ordinal system equals 84

soil” in the English Ordinal system equals 55

31 January 2020 – Living alone together

Hello to you.  It’s been awhile since I posted anything.  I am currently going through some challenging times in my life and haven’t been feeling like doing much.  I hope something in what I will share here will help you if you find yourself visiting my blog today.

What I am currently facing is something similar to what I went through in my previous marriage.  The experience of living with someone but feeling like you are just sharing a space but not truly connected like you once were.  I call it, living alone together.  It’s not a condition I want to exist but it currently does.

I am the sort of person who can get carried away into many different directions at once and find it difficult to be in the present moment all the time.  To be in a healthy relationship with someone, I think you have to communicate and sometimes even that breaks down.  For my husband and I, we have had the same conversations so many times, our own personal echo chamber if you will.  After a time, things just get stale.  We used to share a lot of the same interests but over time, things have changed for both of us.  I think this world has changed and not necessarily for the better.

I am currently trying to find a way to navigate through my current circumstances and maintain a positive attitude.  I have been writing letters, writing in a journal, taking pictures, cleaning and organizing the house, doing yard work, going for walks, doing crafts, trying to eat better and get enough sleep, trying to communicate more with loved ones as coping mechanisms. Our two dogs are affected by what is going on as much as we are.  I think it must be very confusing to them.

I ran a couple of words-numbers phrases in line with this topic.  As I have mentioned before in previous posts,  I want to emphasize my interpretation of these numbers isn’t the only interpretation.  You may see something else.  You may be experiencing something else.  It’s interesting to me to see the patterns.  May be for your own experience there are other things you would add:

https://www.ridingthebeast.com/gematria-calculator/ (online calculator I use for this but I have a personal offline system also)

Energy fields emitted from a life form = 342 174/159/118/117/133/146

(one = 34, self= 42)

resonance = 94 102/156/128/141/128/141……

(why=56 141=energy exchange 28=man)

fluctuating energy levels in the types of energy consumed=575 149/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134…..

(human=57 spiral/eternal=75 way/cause=49 child=36 self=42 earth=52 one=34 animal/easy/fight/Joy/role=50 food=40 all=25)

a balanced energy diet = 155 118/117/133/146

(shared/wages=55 true love/modification/scent glands/wonderful/concentrate=118 I’m sorry/nurture/humility/upbringing=117 temptation/community/don’t give up = 133 (the=33) people matter/brain function/peace for the brain = 146 (body=46)

metabolism = 109/140

“to have a healthy metabolism” = 260 174/159/118/117/133/146

(energy=74 five = 42 nine= 42 self=42 (the five senses of the body and nine (nein) or no self)

living alone = 120 156/128/141/128/141…..

living by yourself = 221 150/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125

(understanding/communication/fifty states/uncertainty/divine planning/possession = 150 feeling=58)

living with someone you are married to but feeling alone = 555 126/144/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134……

(God/dog/game = 26 brain/faith=44 sun/love/play/voice=54 child=36 self=42)

alone = 152

together = 98 91/76/117/133/146

(spirit=91 sharing/fiction/divorce/revenge/humans/master/species/draining/contact/example/crying/mixing/concept/losing/a cat’s life = 76)

positive attitude = 215/134

negative attitude = 183 139/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150……..

(positive = 115 negative=83 attitude=100 culture=100)