2 August 2021 Family

Hello ! How are you ? I’m doing pretty well. We had a nice visit with family yesterday. My cousin and his wife hosted a wonderful brunch in honor of their daughter in law going off to medical school. She has about 4 years of school left . A lot of the family turned out . We enjoyed it very much .

Drawing for today

31 July 2021 Mystery

Hello, how are you today? I hope you are well. I’m doing well and enjoying the weekend.

I am sharing another drawing that is a mystery to me. I just pick up my pens and draw and don’t really know what they mean! Sometimes I don’t find out til after I’ve drawn something if there is any meaning at all! I think this one has to do with maintaining a balance on the multiple layers of known existence .

30 July 2021 Forgiveness

Hello to you! How are you today? It’s really hot here today. I’m about ready for summer to be over! I’m sure I’m not alone with that sentiment.

Well yesterday was a day of sudden changes and today is about forgiveness. Sometimes people do things that they regret. I had to pray a lot about this…. Let God. I could have chosen to shut the door on this person but I don’t think that’s what God wanted me to do . I cannot ignore the red flags and warnings but something tells me these are growing pains. The person in question has been through a lot of troubles too and made mistakes. I have been through a lot too, made mistakes . What if everyone had shut the door on me ? I try to keep that in mind when I am dealing with these sorts of things.

29 July 2021 Sudden Changes

Hello to you how are you today ? I’m doing alright I think . I am in the midst of sudden changes again. I thought I had made a friend but I was wrong . So I am on my own again and I’m lead back to blogging more regularly and drawing pictures that are kind of a reflection of what’s going on in my life . Today’s drawing shows an upside down world in the blink of an eye . I haven’t been using the gematria system lately because it only seemed to make sense to me!

Sometimes it seems like God throws curve balls and the reasons aren’t immediately clear . I have to believe something better is in store for me .

Drawing for today

28 July 2021 Helpful or Harmful

Hello to you, how are you doing on this hot day in July? I am doing ok. I was taking an afternoon nap and some thoughts and images started to filter into my my mind . Some of them painful memories like the day my cat Amber passed away. I had to force my mind to think of other things. I had to ask myself if thinking about such a traumatic day was helpful or harmful. The verdict was it was harmful. I don’t want to think about sad/depressing/traumatic things! So I thought of when she was alive sitting in a sunbeam instead. I forced myself to get up and draw too.

I have had to learn mental gymnastics like these past couple of years. If I let my mind wander it can lead me to some pretty dark places if I let it. It’s the same place my feelings are at and I have found that as an empath living by feelings can be emotionally draining and paralyzing .

Drawing for today

23 May 2019 Forgiveness

Forgiveness – https://www.ridingthebeast.com/gematria-calculator/

My interpretation through this system of what forgiveness is.  It is a process within the two sides of ourselves to determine if we will let the harm someone else has caused us be set aside or whether or not we will hold on to it.  Sometimes, for me, it seems like I’ve let something go from the past but something in the present can trigger an old wound.  This has been happening to me recently in my own life.  There are a lot of “broken pieces” in my house as evidence.  I glued some of them together yesterday and made some art out it like I’ve done in the past and posted here.

I deleted all my previous posts because sometimes, without meaning to, you can hurt people with things you write.

Not many people understand this system that came to me around February of last year…..trust issues.  Gematria has been around a long time but the way I interpret it isn’t the same as other people do it.  To consider both the light and shadow aspects of ourselves.  I am split in two in most any way you can be, so this makes sense to me and may make sense to others like me.  This message is for you then.  I feel like God gave me this as a life preserver to try and help me get a grasp on reality.  It is my duty to pass it on….for free.  It doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to the God of my understanding.

Forgiveness” in the English Ordinal system equals 139/13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 (light and shadow of ourselves) = 6.5 = 11/2/1 or 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10/1 or 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  *My name, Jackie, is 39.   To look at this number is one person in a “yes, no, may be” situation and nine for me is nein, nein in German is No.

one three nine” in the English Ordinal system equals 132 – one person in a “yes, no may be” situation yet and now they are in the process of deciding what they will do between the two sides of themselves.

one three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 148 – one person engaged now with their brain, brain is 44 in the numbers in the racetrack or seeming infinity process that is life.

one four eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 143 – one person engaged yet with their brain in the “yes, no, may be” process of forgiveness.

one four three” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – one person engaged in the five senses, the “sensation” of the unknown aspects of forgiveness.  What will happen if they forgive?  This number is also fifty states and communication in the numbers.

one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140 – one person engaged with their brain in the unknown aspects of forgiveness.

one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158 – one person engaged in the five senses, the “sensation” while living on the racetrack or seeming infinity that is life.  The number eight is the infinity symbol if you draw it.

one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 – one person engaged in the process of forgiveness and the five senses, the “sensation” and or feeling of what it is like to forgive.

one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – one person engaged in the “yes, no, may be” aspect along with their brain….”shall I continue?”

one three four” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – one person engaged in the five senses again, the “sensation” of forgiveness and their are many unknown aspects….variables they can’t control.  It is a cycle.   I forgive but seldom can forget which can be difficult for people who would like to forget the past and I remind them of it.

23 May 2019 – Recently I have broken a lot of things in the house to include things that were gifts from other people. For some reason I have been very angry which isn’t like me. Yesterday I used my hot glue gun Kyle got in his welding classes and gave to me to make some art of the broken pieces.

22 May 2019 Jackie hot glue gun art from broken pieces of cookie jar statue and angel chimes