3 October 2021 Drawing

I decided to try and draw what I was thinking about in my previous blog today

I don’t know if this drawing will make sense but it’s kind of what I was trying to explain in my previous blog . Each of the little rooms represents a life form on the planet and there is Jesus with a skeleton key. Overseeing things with a divine plan is God the life force of all creation.

It’s probably a little out there but I do have a vivid imagination!

2 October 2021 Hold on Loosely

Doodle for today
Metatrons cube

I think it was from an AA reading or something that I remember getting the idea to wear the world like a loose cloak.

It’s late Saturday afternoon. The weather is nice. I went over to my Aunt and Uncles and had a nice lunch. We visited and played a round of a game like Yahtzee called Farkle. Being with them helped me so much! I get stuck sometimes and they know how to get me out! This morning the gears in my brain got stuck!

1 October 2021 Hugs & Blogging

Hello to you ! How are you doing today ? It’s the beginning of the month already! This year has gone by so fast hasn’t it? My knees allowed me to get a couple laps in. They have been aching. Just found out there are almost 2,000 more cases of Covid here in Idaho ! I’m surprised they aren’t mandating masks again . I have family that was vaccinated and still got sick!

This morning my mind turns to hugs! I love to give and receive them. I don’t know if there is any documented evidence, but I think there must be health benefits! When I think of the mechanics of a hug it’s like putting two powerful batteries together for a few moments. It feels good. It’s like sunshine on the heart !

“Embrace me let your light shine on my heart, may the warmth last long after we are apart.”

Hugging wisp people style

Writing this blog has become an everyday thing I do. It helps me connect with people I wouldn’t ordinarily meet. It makes me feel useful. It helps me feel less lonely….like I have someone to talk to. Oftentimes I don’t want to finish a blog because then there will be silence! For some reason when I blog I connect with my internal “voice.”

Writing this blog gives me purpose. It’s always my hope that someone will read it and something will resonate. I think it’s a way to connect with the God of my understanding. This blog and the drawings I do each day are the highlight of my day.

“Welcome to a corner of my mind, a place to relax for a moment and unwind. A message may be just for you, a message just for me by the time the day is through. They call this exchange we are having a blog, for me it is a daily log. A daily accounting of my life, joys, tribulations and may be some strife . Thank you dear reader for stopping by, I hope you find something here for you and you’ll say hi “

29 September 2021 Strange World

Hello to you as you visit me here today . How are you ? I went and got my second Moderna shot this morning and got groceries. So far so good with how I’m feeling!

Something I was noticing today as I shopped is it feels like our local store is having trouble keeping things in stock . I’m never sure if there will be enough bottled drinking water. With more people living here and the tap water not tasting very good I guess that makes sense.

It feels like we are living in a strange world. As a kid I used to drink water from the tap and from the garden hose on a hot day. Now it has to be filtered a bunch of times to be suitable to drink . Did you ever think we would come to this ?!!

Something Strange

27 September 2021 Early Riser

Hello! How are you? I’m sitting out in the morning sun and it feels good. This morning has been a bit of mental gymnastics.

Morning anxiety

I am having trouble writing today. Thankfully there is the morning sun and it feels good against my skin. Some days I feel so out of sorts ! It seems to come out of nowhere and all I can do is ride through it . Is it this?! Is it that?! Walk around the block a couple of times. Eat an extra meal ! I’ll figure it out !!

24 September 2021 Plans

Hello there! How are you ? It’s starting out to be a nice day. I’m sitting on my front porch and it’s a cool 52 degrees! The morning sun makes it really comfortable . I got my mile walk in.

So in a few hours I have plans to go with my friend to a pumpkin patch in Kuna. I’m really looking forward to it . When you live alone like I do, having plans to do something is a big deal. It’s nice to have someone to go do things with.

I wish we could take Link but he gets a little too fired up about strangers .

Links morning plans

The morning beams reach to the vaulted sky, off to distant corners the birds stretch and fly . I look to faraway paths I haven’t tread, I listen for whispers of stanzas I haven’t said. There is a plan unseen floating before my day, I reach into the ether for the scripted play.

22 September 2021 Fall

Hello there! How are you doing as you visit me here? Today is the first day of fall if you can believe it! Did it sneak up on you too?

Red, orange and gold watching you dance in the wind never gets old . All part of a cosmic dance full of promise and romance. Loud whispers from tree to bee “it’s fall heed the sleepers call!”

Fall is part of a divine plan

Fall is part of a divine plan. If you look at the trees life cycle it’s a time to restore themselves . All the falling leaves get broken down by insects and the elements to become food for the tree . The tree is very self sufficient. They make an entire world wherever they take root. Truly amazing beings!

21 September 2021 Mantra

Hello! How are you today? I hope you are doing well . I am trying to stay in the present moment and stay positive. It’s a beautiful fall morning .

This morning I could feel some anxiety creeping in. I mentally asked for help in relieving it and the answer was “say the mantra.” The only thing I had memorized was the Lords Prayer and Hail Mary so I started saying those over and over. By doing that my anxiety thoughts and feelings were interrupted . When I would stop, the anxiety “stuff” would return.

Doodles
Last nights chalking

So then it was time to get up and go for a walk and I was still feeling the anxiety. I decided to just think like a cheerleader! “Let’s do this! “ “We got this!” Anything to relieve the discomfort that anxiety makes me feel! Mornings are rough for me . That tactic worked for a little while!

I have never been good about meditating . I have a monkey mind or “wild mind.” It just goes all over the place! So it was interesting that the help suggested became a combination of Buddhism and Christianity!

Do you have a mantra or prayer that you say that helps you when you are having anxiety ? What helps you quiet things down ?

19 September 2021 Oddball

Hello to you ! How are you this Sunday morning ? I am hoping for more rain so my car will be clean again ! We got just enough of a spittle to turn my car into a mud ball .

My thoughts are inspired by my drawing today….being an odd ball. Not being like everybody else. Most of my life I have been the one that doesn’t fit in. It’s not that I didn’t look the fitting in part it’s what was going on inside of me. I was a goth girl before it was a thing. I used to visit cemeteries and talk to animals all the time. I can remember looking in the mirror and wondering who was behind my eyes .

In my drawing I am the one standing alone looking at all those who are in line. I never quite fit in to the group. It’s usually because I don’t want to have to compromise my beliefs and or thoughts so that I will fit in.

Oddball spirit

For as long as I can remember it’s been this way for me. I was an outsider in school and in the military . The only time I really belonged is when I did sports. I was a runner and played volleyball . There is a camaraderie to sports that you don’t find in other group settings . I might have to consider sports again once Covid settles down again.

Nowadays my being an oddball has to do with having so many mental health labels. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not those labels – they don’t define who I am as a person . The labels are for the doctors ! I sometimes let my labels rule my life and I miss out on things as a result .

I have always been a little odd, my ways a mystery to most everyone but God. My eyes a mirror within a hall of windows, my spirit trapped between life and the gallows. Walking between worlds tangible and the unseen, a balancing act of sweet and mean . I am indeed odd but that is between me and God ……

18 September 2021 Happiness

Hello there! How are you ? I just finished my second cup of coffee and have been sitting here contemplating what to write about. Sometimes things don’t flow so easily .

A lot has been swirling in my mind, not all of it kind. Forwards and backwards around and around, my thoughts like a heavy traffic sound. Horns and engines revving loud, oh how to please the crowd…….

So my thoughts turn to happiness and how hard it is for me to answer when someone asks me what makes me happy. I guess it’s a true sign of codependency that I cannot answer easily! People ask me what I like to do and I draw a blank almost every time. There is very little of this world that truly “makes me happy.”

If I’m to be completely honest though what makes me happy is a relationship with God. It’s not putting my head in the Bible, going to church or doing a bunch of charity . It’s everyday things like waking up and feeling God’s presence. Going for a walk and feeling like God is walking with me. Drawing a picture and writing this blog; feeling like it’s a collaboration with God. True happiness coming from feeling at one with God. Everything else is just fluff really.

Where I have felt happiest and closest to God has been outside. When I lived in Texas we had a nice backyard and I felt like it was like having an outdoor church. It was small and I felt safe. Down the street was a park with a man made pond I used to like to go to . I haven’t found anyplace like that here yet.

Doing this blog brings me a fleeting happiness . I feel like for a few minutes I’m contributing to the world I live in! Like I’m doing something that matters. I feel close to God writing and get sad when I have to wrap things up . It’s like having a visit with a friend and you don’t want it to end !

I didn’t draw a picture yet today. Today was just about words . They are just flowing. I am happy. I don’t want our visit to end!

I was happy what seems a long time ago, time seemed to stand still it moved very slow. The trees whispered secrets and the clouds melted in my hands, the wasp carrying the spider made no demands. Everything in my natures church had a place, spirits and wisps made an appearance without a face . I long for those never ending conversations I had with God, until those days return onward I will trod.