9 September 2021 Time

Hello! How are you ? What’s going on in you where and when as you meet me here ? I hope your having a good day so far . I am having a productive morning so far. I mustered the energy to go get groceries. Whoop de doo right ?!! When your me getting groceries is a big deal !!

What’s on my mind this morning is time. Specifically time being a healer of deep emotional and spiritual wounds. It’s easy to try and heal using alcohol, drugs, shopping and any other kind of distraction but you aren’t really healing you are just procrastinating . After our dog Sam died it took me nearly 4 years to recover . With this divorce I am still healing a year later. I will say it’s getting better but there is still a ways to go….. I need more time.

I walked through time today, I didn’t stop I didn’t have anything to say. The wheels and gears spun and forced me compliant, upon its pace I was completely reliant. I had to stop and turn to face the grinding gears. The only way to relieve my pain may take years …….

A double doodle today !

7 September 2021 Futile Tasks

Hello there! How are you as you meet me here this morning ? I hope you are well . I am doing ok. I’m writing a little bit earlier than I normally do. It gives me a purpose to write so who cares what time I do it right ?!

This morning I walked by my dirty car again and I got that feeling like I should try and wash it . I also got the feeling “what’s the point of washing it? It’s just going to get dirty right away!” My car is an outside car meaning I don’t have a garage. We are surrounded by the fires that have been going on this summer so the air is always filled with ash. This ash ends up on the car everyday. It feels like washing the car is one of those futile tasks like cleaning house! The thing is if you don’t clean it once in awhile it seems like you don’t care to take care of it.

I used to have cleaning as my OCD. If I got stressed or anxious I would start cleaning because it always needed to be done ! Living with dogs changed that for me and helped me see the futility of trying to keep a house perfectly clean all the time. So now I see life as a series of futile tasks! A bunch of things we do that almost as soon as you do them you have to do it again. There has to be more to life than that !

Lately I have been struggling to muster enough energy to do these futile tasks. Where did that energy to take care of things like I used to go ? Is it me getting older? Is it me living alone? Is it me turning into a lazy person? Is it apathy or depression? When you are depressed a lot of time you just don’t want to do anything. I will have to pray on this!

5 September 2021 Routines

Hello! How are you doing today? I hope your doing well . I have been really sleepy today. I don’t know if it’s because of the shot or what but I have been wanting to sleep a lot!

I have been trying to establish a daily routine of walking after my walk with Link . So far it’s going pretty well except when I am really tired. The other part of the routine is trying to blog and draw each day . Sometimes I am hard pressed to come up with anything and other days it just flows . These are activities that help fill my day with something meaningful.

Some days it feels like it takes extra effort to walk Link !

Results

Perception ” in the English Ordinal system equals 121

Routines ” in the English Ordinal system equals 121

2 September 2021 Appreciation

Hello to you ! How are you doing today ? I hope your doing well . It’s another beautiful day here. I wish the skies would clear up but we will take what we can get .

This morning my mind turns towards thinking about appreciation. It’s so easy to take a person, place and or thing for granted. We can live life just expecting they will always be there and we are learning on many levels that is is a mistake. There is one thing that is certain about existence and that is change! Impermanence is the name of the game of life .

It’s important to show appreciation, to express gratitude while there is still yet time to do it . It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture either! Sometimes it’s just saying the words is all someone is waiting to hear .

1 September 2021 Worlds

Hello again! I did another one of my strange drawings. I honestly just out the pen to paper and this is what comes forth. It doesn’t always make sense .

What comes to mind looking at my doodle is duality of worlds . It’s something I learned when I was lead to exploring the value of words in numeric form. There are different realities in the light and shadow of our existence and in between is our destiny . I guess that’s what all the center stuff in the drawing is about. How do we get to our destiny ? There seems to be an unseen plan! A word that comes to mind is “the weavers.” The weavers are constantly at work shaping our worlds — constantly shaping us.

1 September 2021 Connections

Hello there ! How are you as you visit me here ? I hope we’ll. I’m working through my morning “stuff” and going through my routine . I hope someday mornings will be less of a struggle for me !

This morning my mind turns towards the concept of connections . It’s a part of living in today’s world. Right now I don’t have very many connections . I have lived here now over a year. I lived in Texas for about 12 years and in all that time made very few connections. I had one friend that I could count on. Is it me ?!!

I am great at the “meet and greet” but as far as maintaining long lasting relationships I’m not that great . The thing with me is once I love you , no matter how long it is since I last saw you and or we have communicated, we just pick up like we’ve never been apart.

Today’s doodle

31 August 2021 Gathered

Hello to you. How are you ? I am doing pretty good this morning . I did something different and really enjoyed it . Today I’m thinking of the Bible passage New International Version
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” My Aunt invited me to a short Bible study today with one of her dear friends. There was just the three of us .

It really felt good to talk about God and read from psalms (psalm 145) which is the last psalm written by David and psalm 104 which was our hostesses favorite. It felt nice to get out of the house and spend some time with a couple of women who truly love God and have a strong testimony in how God has worked on their lives.

I honestly didn’t want it to end! My drawing today is symbolic of what we did today .

30 August 2021 Being Happy

Hello to you. How are you doing as you visit me here today ? It’s morning as I write to you . The mornings are getting cooler and I can feel fall is on its way!

This morning my thoughts turn to the concept of being happy . What does being happy even mean ? It’s such a fleeting thing!! Even if you have everything you want and need in this life will you be truly happy?

Some people seem to come by happiness so easily! They always have a smile, easy to laugh , they are easy to please and just have an air of contentment around them. I want to be more like these people again. I used to be that kind of person and then 2020 happened !

What does being happy mean to me now ? We are already almost through 2021 and I’m still figuring it out! I am getting fleeting glimpses of what it means for me . When my ex and I used to be down we would do something I need to get back in the habit of doing – mental gratitude list . We would ask each other “what are you grateful for today ?” So many things to be grateful for ! Could gratitude be a pathway to happiness ?

What am I grateful for today ? That I have the privilege of writing this blog, my health, Link, my family and friends , thankful for a God that answers my prayers – so much more !