5 May 2023 Direction

What gives you direction in life?

Hello to you. Hard to believe it’s Friday again. Today is the celebration of Cinco Demayo and my exe in-laws 44th wedding anniversary. It’s so rare that people stay together that long. Even though I’m no longer married to their son I still consider them to be family. Once I love you it takes a lot for me to stop loving you. They are good people!

Todays prompt makes me think. I have never really had a direction in my life other than wanting to be a good person but it’s not been easy. Wanting to please God has flitted through my life, not to displease my family and friends has also been a reason for a direction. As I’ve mentioned before, as a young child and teenager I wanted to be famous but let go of that when I saw what fame does to peoples lives. Another primary direction has been not wanting to be forgotten. Since I never had children I have no one to pass my legacy on to.

A primary director, the Holy Spirit, seems quiet if not silent in my life. For so many years I felt I had a close connection. I could write, sing, draw, paint and make jewelry and other things. It’s probably just my being in an in between place right now. I think it’s also the medication I’m on that prevents mania from happening. Taking Lithium is different than taking Depakote and Zyprexa. I kind of miss the creativity and spirituality that comes with being manic. I think another reason for the lack of direction is the fact I’m still healing from my wounds these past couple of years. I am trying to stay open to God – to the Holy Spirit. I don’t think God is done with me yet!

A drawing I did back in 2015. I named it 7712 but I remember thinking of the title “Waiting” for it. I miss drawing like this – it’s like my creativity spigot is completely closed.

Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.


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