22 May 2020 Good Morning and Communication (Discord program)

Hello to you.  How are you doing today?  It’s a new day.  I started my day today trying to coax Link to go outside and do his business after the rains we had last night.  I’m probably going to have to take him for a walk to do it.

I began my day with sending my husband a good morning text and a picture of our “son” being cute as he resists me.  Even though we are not together right now, in my heart we are.  Link is not just a dog but a Link to my husband and to Link’s family of origin.  No matter how far apart we are inside or out.

What dogs teach us is every morning is a good morning.  Every moment is precious.

22 May 2020 – GOOD MORNING!

I found another way to communicate with people and that is through a an computer program called Discord (https://discord.com/).  My husband uses it to communicate with his gaming friends or he did.  I play an MMORPG Rift from time to time and joined a guild that has a Discord Channel.  They are really nice people and there are a couple ladies that use it that are my age.  They aren’t on all the time, but when they are it’s really nice to have people to talk to about something besides my problems.  I’m just trying to find various ways to help fill the void for daily human contact and communication I’m living in right now.

I’m grateful to my family and friends that have been sending texts almost daily.  It’s amazing how just a few words on the phone can help make a day start off right!  If anything all of what I’m going through has made communicating with people outside of the home even more important.

 

 

30 April 2020 Finding balance

Hello to you – how are you in your day today?  I’m doing pretty good.  The world is pretty still for me right now after conquering some of the hurdles I had waiting for me when I got home.

What has come to mind this morning is finding balance when the world seems to be out of balance.  Every time I turn on the television.  Every page that comes up when I open the internet.  Almost every conversation with family and friends.  What is it all about right now?  That darn Corona virus!  What do I want to give my power to about it?  Not how many people are sick, not how many people have died, not all the ways we have failed in containing this thing.  What do I want to focus on?  How many people have lived?  What have we done right?  The countless HERO’S that I have personally encountered and know working in the the medical profession right now.   I have friends and family in nursing and all I want for them is their safety and outstanding health on this journey each day.

Coming from the experience I recently have come from with healthcare, even when things seem their worst, God, as I understand, finds a way to punch through the darkness with hope and light.

I believe that what you focus on gains power in the world.  The more we focus on the negatives, not to deny negatives exist, the more power we give to what we don’t want going on in the world!  I encourage everyone reading this to amplify their positive prayers, mediations and just energy signatures in the world….empowerment!

So as the scales skitter back and forth like trying to weigh ourselves on a scale, I hope a healthy balance, a healthy “weight” will be achieved.

finding balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 101 – system

one zero one” in the English Ordinal system equals 132 – life

one three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 148 – motive

one four eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 143 – choice

one four three” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – Joy

one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140 – food

one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158 – feeling

one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 – all

 

one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – one

 

5 Feb 2020 Tangible or Intangible experiences

Where will my feet be taking me next?

Hello to you.  It’s a gray and cold afternoon as I write.  Hope this finds you doing well in your where and when as you visit me here.

I was trying to think of something to write about and the subject of tangible and intangible experiences came to my mind.  It’s one thing to imagine the things you would like to do in life but quite another to actually do them.  I’m at a cross roads point in my life right now.  There is a part of me that longs for an adventure and part of me that is hesitant to even step my feet too far out of my own neighborhood!  Can you relate?

I ran these numbers in the gematria calculator with interesting results:

https://www.ridingthebeast.com/gematria-calculator/

(Remember the word values I’ve listed aren’t the only ones that exist.  I encourage you to explore this for yourself and see what shows up for you personally)

Tangible or Intangible Experiences = 319 132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150/140…..(pattern repeats)

(ironically my name, Jackie = 39 and life = 32) (148 – human emotion) (some 143’s-resourceful, contentment, rehabilitation)(some 150’s – understanding, communication, divine planning, positive image) (some 140’s – interesting, observation) food-40) (some 158’s – quality of life, being yourself) feeling-58)

(some 125’s – courageous, surprise, solution, spiritual) all-25) (some 134’s – intellectual, information, combinations, responsible) one-34)

Tangible = 70 129/134/150/140/158/125/134/150….(pattern repeats)

(some 70’s – effort, tasks, seeking affordable)(some 129’s – experiment, experiencing, stimulant)

Intangible = 93 98/91/76/117/133/146

(some 93’s – management, growing, outside, internal, trying, physical, writer)  (together – 98, spirit-91, value for my last name/humans-76) (some 117’s -humility, upbringing, occupation) (some 118’s – conscious, true love, wonderful, concentrate, attention)(some 133’s – community, intentional, system life, property) and (some 146’s – brain function, peace for the brain).

31 January 2020 – Living alone together

Hello to you.  It’s been awhile since I posted anything.  I am currently going through some challenging times in my life and haven’t been feeling like doing much.  I hope something in what I will share here will help you if you find yourself visiting my blog today.

What I am currently facing is something similar to what I went through in my previous marriage.  The experience of living with someone but feeling like you are just sharing a space but not truly connected like you once were.  I call it, living alone together.  It’s not a condition I want to exist but it currently does.

I am the sort of person who can get carried away into many different directions at once and find it difficult to be in the present moment all the time.  To be in a healthy relationship with someone, I think you have to communicate and sometimes even that breaks down.  For my husband and I, we have had the same conversations so many times, our own personal echo chamber if you will.  After a time, things just get stale.  We used to share a lot of the same interests but over time, things have changed for both of us.  I think this world has changed and not necessarily for the better.

I am currently trying to find a way to navigate through my current circumstances and maintain a positive attitude.  I have been writing letters, writing in a journal, taking pictures, cleaning and organizing the house, doing yard work, going for walks, doing crafts, trying to eat better and get enough sleep, trying to communicate more with loved ones as coping mechanisms. Our two dogs are affected by what is going on as much as we are.  I think it must be very confusing to them.

I ran a couple of words-numbers phrases in line with this topic.  As I have mentioned before in previous posts,  I want to emphasize my interpretation of these numbers isn’t the only interpretation.  You may see something else.  You may be experiencing something else.  It’s interesting to me to see the patterns.  May be for your own experience there are other things you would add:

https://www.ridingthebeast.com/gematria-calculator/ (online calculator I use for this but I have a personal offline system also)

Energy fields emitted from a life form = 342 174/159/118/117/133/146

(one = 34, self= 42)

resonance = 94 102/156/128/141/128/141……

(why=56 141=energy exchange 28=man)

fluctuating energy levels in the types of energy consumed=575 149/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134…..

(human=57 spiral/eternal=75 way/cause=49 child=36 self=42 earth=52 one=34 animal/easy/fight/Joy/role=50 food=40 all=25)

a balanced energy diet = 155 118/117/133/146

(shared/wages=55 true love/modification/scent glands/wonderful/concentrate=118 I’m sorry/nurture/humility/upbringing=117 temptation/community/don’t give up = 133 (the=33) people matter/brain function/peace for the brain = 146 (body=46)

metabolism = 109/140

“to have a healthy metabolism” = 260 174/159/118/117/133/146

(energy=74 five = 42 nine= 42 self=42 (the five senses of the body and nine (nein) or no self)

living alone = 120 156/128/141/128/141…..

living by yourself = 221 150/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125

(understanding/communication/fifty states/uncertainty/divine planning/possession = 150 feeling=58)

living with someone you are married to but feeling alone = 555 126/144/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134……

(God/dog/game = 26 brain/faith=44 sun/love/play/voice=54 child=36 self=42)

alone = 152

together = 98 91/76/117/133/146

(spirit=91 sharing/fiction/divorce/revenge/humans/master/species/draining/contact/example/crying/mixing/concept/losing/a cat’s life = 76)

positive attitude = 215/134

negative attitude = 183 139/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150……..

(positive = 115 negative=83 attitude=100 culture=100)

1 June 2019 Repost: Two halves of the one whole – Nikola Tesla and Wilhelm Reich

Hello to you visitor.  I am reposting this from my personal archives because it feels like a good time to do it – for myself.  Some of what is here has evolved and changed in my mind, body and spirit these past few years but much is the same.  During the past couple of years I have allowed the events of the world, both near and far, to taint my heart….to taint my spirit and faith in my fellow human beings.  I have become a very bitter, distrustful person – extremely suspicious person that questions the motives and activities of the very fabric of our existence.  I don’t think I am alone.  What I am having to keep coming back to is my love for the God of my understanding who lets me yet live no matter how flawed a person I have been or am yet today.  I don’t know if there is anything here for you but chances are if you are here to see it, to read it, to try and understand it, perhaps you are in the right place.  This is my intention.  When this came to me I wrote it all down and have those notes still.  I will spare you the trouble of pictures and my scribble to read.  If you are like me, sometimes is difficult to read online documents for extended periods of time.  Feel free to come back, to take a break.  I will try to refrain from deleting this again.  I have a nasty habit of doing that….I lose faith in myself.

we are all on a quest called life” in the English Ordinal system equals 258/15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by two equals 1.5 = 6….. or 3 cycle

two five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 149 – one engages with their brain on a “no” path or “nein” in German

one four nine” in the English Ordinal system equals 136 – one engaged in a “yes, no may be” process, all the “vices” in check but one

one three six” in the English Ordinal system equals 142 – one engaged with their brain in the process

one four two” in the English Ordinal system equals 152 – one engaged with the sensation of the five senses in the process

(“earth” in the English Ordinal system equals 52) – our home

*note – these two influential men are just a portion of those who have influenced and taught me much I have needed to know about this life.  I believe everyone, no matter their form,  is both teacher and student in this life.

24 March 2015

Two halves of one whole – Nikola Tesla and Wilhelm Reich

This morning I had another “Aha” but this time it was the biggest yet.  I mentioned in a recent blog that I had begun exploring the making of orgonite.  Well in my research of the founder of Orgone, Wilhem Reich, I realized this was familiar.  Many years ago I remember reading or hearing about a “rain maker.”  A man who went to drought stricken towns and with a device “made it rain.”  He had been denounced and pretty much labeled a quack so he slipped out of my consciousness but I always wondered after learning about him if we could control the weather.  I never knew his name…until now.

So I’ve made a couple pieces of my own orgonite and before reading more about Wilhelm’s origin story had wondered if orgonite could be used to help with mental health therapy…low and behold he thought so too and did a lot of research and experiments to prove it!  I wanted to learn more and this morning watched a video on You tube from the Wilhelm Reich Infant Trust.  It’s a short, 3 part documentary called “Man’s Right to Know” detailing Reich’s life and research.  It hit me pretty hard that what happened to him is almost verbatim to what happened to Tesla!

“Man’s right to know, to learn, to inquire, to investigate human emotions must, by all means be safe if the word Freedom should ever be more than an empty political slogan.” Reich’s response to Complaint for Injunction

So I’m going to share with you here how two halves of my crude learning and discovery have come together.  Contrary to past posts, I’m not editing this from my scrap paper scrawl.  I am not a scientist or particularly learned individual…my school has primarily been life.  My Dad has told me that is what life is….”Life is school; we are never out of school.”

Some of what I write here may seem extreme and hard to digest…comprehend.  If you find this conflict within yourself as you try to read this, I say I may not be your messenger.  You must seek your messenger elsewhere but this message to you must be received.

Revelation, 24 March 2015/7:12 am

Reich’s work is tangible evidence to show why what we put in our bodies is largely responsible for our “energetic manifestation of reality…our bodies.”  Ingesting too much “dead” organic matter or an imbalance of it with “living” organic matter actually kills the living organisms within us.  Must have balance of dead and living ingestion to have healthy body.  Must have regular exercise and “sexercise” to discharge excess atmospheric energy our bodies are exposed to by people, animals, plants, insects, physical structures man-made and natural like rocks and minerals.  This is why after sex, especially after exercise (specifically outdoors) and chores I feel better!  If I don’t discharge energy, I feel angry, restless, and moody, depressed, overeat, seek “comfort” in shopping, entertainment etc.

Because I, and other “highly sensitive” people; Empaths, ingest much more atmospheric energy, we must use powerful, frequent discharge/detox techniques to balance or “ground” ourselves.  We are tiny “mini-me’s” of Mother Earth.  What happens with her weather systems and climate is her technique for discharge/release of excess energy i.e. storms with a lot of lightening, hurricanes, typhoons, tornados earthquakes.  (to add here I would say it is also in these things and floods, heat waves, drought and other extremes she is doing things we do to try and heal ourselves and express emotion just on a much larger scale!).

Nikola Tesla studied energy, discovered “everything is energy” but on another level than Reich.  Tesla was metallic, Reich organic as an analogy.  I now have the two halves of the equation which leads me to comprehension of my abilities, interest, path of discovery and experimentation on a very crude, personal scale….my observation and experience not in a lab, in my life and the lives I encounter and catalyze.  As Reich said of those who sought to destroy, discredit, erase, and “blot out” his research, his existence and the validity and value of his work and of its existence….”I do not like it, I don’t want it, I fear it (I will destroy it – my add here.)” He said, “It’s in their structure, it’s in their blood” (kind of like Jesus supposedly said of those who crucified him, “Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.”)

I have it in my structure, my blood to be the polar opposite!  Reich, Tesla were my brothers of blood.  Our ancestry and origins of our structure and blood from the same regions of the world.  Further in my blood, 1%…Jesus…Jew….rebellion, free thinking, discovery, true understanding and the quest for proof, further understanding and learning.  These two men, all of the other men and women whose life’s work were for the betterment of the common people..one source…one purpose…unification of the “All.”  Peace amongst the “All “and the center source is understanding the Life Force, Universal consciousness, God, the one energy that connects us all.

We all come from, return to, come back to from the one source – an “energy eco-system.”

So to a degree the religions do have it kind of correct.  The way they have gone wrong is trying to control how this one force is received and processed by each living creature.  This is why one person may hear a message at church, work, home, in society and it will either “resonate” and promote action or it won’t.

Very early on a thing Ken (my ex-husband) pointed out in frustration was how he’d tell me something important like “No one can make you feel anything” and it wasn’t until I heard someone else say it would it “resonate”, make sense to me, help me comprehend it and act on this knowledge in my life.  This is why I say often, “Every message has an intended receiver.  What my message is may not be the tone, flavor etc. for my intended recipient.  They will have to hear my message through someone else but it will be delivered!”  So this is why we must have tolerance in all structures of civilization.  There is one Life Force but there are infinite delivery systems (messengers) and conductors of this one force.

To restrict these delivery systems (messengers) and conductors to one acceptable receiving system only..one channel…obstructs the Life force for each individual.  This is why there is no “right” or “wrong” way of thinking or doing (I will add it is this way of constructing society that is responsible for our current dysfunction) only different; perfectly valid.  This is called perception.  We are biologically incapable of all perceiving reality the same way and for any religious, political, organizational entity to demand only one, acceptable (permissible) perception is an abomination against the Life Force… God.

Our thoughts and deeds are energetic manifestations and forces to shape our shared reality.  Right now religious, political, organizational powers who choose to manifest and use money energy oppress and control those “beneath” them in class and station are going against the Life Force, against God.  They have been doing so throughout human history, it’s “in their structures, in their blood” as Reich said. Their entire existence, conscious and unconscious, is about controlling what they fear, “They don’t like us, don’t want us, fear us” but unfortunately (ironically) for them, they need us to continue to exist how they do.  Without our labor, our children, our thoughts, our ideas, our bodies/blood to shed on battlefields for their causes, our weaknesses that they exploit with money energy to support their lifestyles they will cease to exist.

When we give our “will” (what we buy, where we work, what we think, how we vote, how we learn, what we eat, how we carry out our daily lives) to them and their chosen money energy agendas..we give away the piece of Life Force/God that exists in all living things, which Reich in his research tangible showed and proved existed to us, to those who use the Life Force for their selfish and self-serving intent.

Their activities are an offense to the ultimate source.  As history has repeatedly shown, “These shall not stand.”

No human being can stop the will of the one source.  They obviously do not believe, understand or are in arrogant defiance of this truth.  Do they think by controlling reproduction and any facet of the will of people, plants, and animals there are no consequences?  Do not these times show us the consequence of their structural design? (Flawed design).  Specifically what comes to mind is abortion.  I do not like it but think it’s between the woman and God.  The church fears aborting a child will kill the second coming of Christ but I say to this – do you really think aborting a child would prevent God’s coming? Do they now see the parade through time of the second coming?  God’s chosen?  Some newly born and some very late in life to serve God’s will.  No one can stop the will, the message, and the purpose of the Life Force…of God.  The message will be delivered and received by those intended…if they are unsuccessful…there will be another.  There is no “one” second coming or savior.  We all, every living creature born each day is Gods arrival. (To add – in each vessel is the potential for the message to be delivered and received…acted upon.)

Those in power to use the Life Force to kill, maim, oppress, manipulate, deceive, torture, abuse, neglect, libel and steal will suffer the consequences of their activities.

Our individual piece of the Life Force amplifies, distorts or diminishes the consequences felt by them AND by us.

Our thoughts are energy.  What we focus on, put our emotional and thought energy on and subsequently act on expands…it grows…it manifests reality.  When we focus on what’s wrong, what we don’t like, don’t want, fear…we are creating more of it…giving it our personal power…Life Force…feeding it.  “Mind your thoughts” and “Be careful what you wish for, surely you will get it” are phrases we know and say without understanding the truth in them.

As a more than 1% of the population we must reclaim our personal pieces of the Life Force and channel our for we want in the world…how we want to change the world.  We must simplify, unify, choose tangible contact with people, places, nature and things vs the distractions used to control us (technology)…placate us.  We already know what is wrong, the point has been made long ago, we must now focus on what we need to do to make it right….restore balance to us and in turn the Earth.

https://nikolateslamuseum.org/en/ – link to the museum dedicated to sharing the works of “Nikki” as I fondly call him lol.

Here is a link to a three part video that could give you some personal insight into why I admire the work of Dr. Reich:

http://wilhelmreichtrust.org/ – website to learn more about him if you are interested