22 June 2022 Who Is My Neighbor?

Hello to you. How are you today? I am doing well these days and almost feel guilty about that! Such is the power of loving God. I was really a broken mess and once I made up my mind to love Jesus in particular my whole life has turned around. Just be willing. Once you say “yes” you can’t say “no” – like making an unbreakable promise.

This morning I found out the people of Afghanistan have suffered a major catastrophe….in their sleep nonetheless. When I think of what Jesus said about loving our neighbors, I am thinking of them today. They are neighbors.

Matthew 22:37-39
New International
Version
37 Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with
all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind! lal(A) 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself! bI(B)

When I think of neighbors I think of all the living beings that play a part in making sure things happen on this earth. So often I hear people refer to beings other than human with the prefaced word, “just.” They see another living being and think of it as part of the scenery. Squirrels for example. They are the earths arborists. They help plant trees that make oxygen we can breathe….not “just a squirrel” to me.

Not “just a spider….just a pest.”

As part of my healing process God has lead me back to all kinds of sound and music. Turns out different frequencies of sound can help with healing and the energy flow in our bodies. I have found several YouTube videos that I feel have been very helpful:

https://youtu.be/NOAFLhRzVfM– Your healing voice – an introduction to toning (who can imagine that the simple act of humming to yourself can have a therapeutic affect)

I was exploring things yesterday and remembering a blue radio I had for many years. I can remember being in my bedroom turning the dial and finding David Bowie through the BBC! Traveling all the way from Sioux Falls South Dakota to London with just the turn of a radio dial! A lot of existence is about tuning in or tuning out various frequencies:

https://youtu.be/b2qShK5lZOs – Radio Tuning Sound Effect

People also ask
What is resonance in electrical system?
Resonance in electrical circuits. The resonance can also be defined as the state of the circuit in which the receiver reactance or susceptance are equal to zero. If the receiver has a combination of R, C, L, and
is a true condition X = 0, there. is a serial resonance, also known as a voltage resonance.

http://matel.p.lodz.pl »Ex_2_en

2.Resonance in electrical circuits – MATEL
More results
What are examples of electrical resonance?
Turning a radio is the best example of electrical resonance. When we turn the knob of a radio, to tune a station, we are changing the natural frequency of the
electrical circuit of the receiver, to make it equal to the transmission frequency of the radio station.
(W https://oxscience.com» resonance
Examples of Resonance in Everyday Life – Ox

People also ask
What does listening to Hz frequencies do?
Binaural beats in the alpha frequencies (8 to 13 Hz) are
thought to encourage relaxation, promote
positivity, and decrease anxiety. Binaural beats in the lower beta frequencies (14 to 30 Hz) have been linked to increased concentration and alertness, problem solving, and improved memory.
https://www.healthline.com health
Binaural Beats: Sleep, Therapy, and Meditation
Healthline
More results


What does 888 Hz do to the body?
How do healing frequencies work?
Theories suggest that stressed out or diseased cells change frequencies, and develop discordant vibrations from the rest of the body. Sound healing may help cells operate in harmony once again. Sound
healing may consist of deep and resonant sounds or discordant buzzing that some may find more noisy than musical. Sep 23, 2021
© https://almedalabs.com »almeda-life
Healing Sound Frequencies and How to Use
Them in Your Day

Lists of neighbors you can pray for if you have the time and heart about it:

Please click on the state you are interested in to view that state’s information:

Alabama 
Alaska 
Arizona 
Arkansas 
California 
Colorado 
Connecticut 
Delaware 
Florida 
Georgia 
Hawaii 
Idaho 
Illinois

Indiana 
Iowa 
Kansas 
Kentucky 
Louisiana 
Maine 
Maryland 
Massachusetts 
Michigan 
Minnesota 
Mississippi 
Missouri 
Montana

Nebraska 
Nevada 
New Hampshire 
New Jersey 
New Mexico 
New York 
North Carolina 
North Dakota 
Ohio 
Oklahoma 
Oregon 
Pennsylvania

Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Washington
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming

https://www.britannica.com/topic/list-of-countries-1993160

This is an alphabetically ordered list of the countries of the world. (See also geographyand government.)

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

Y

Z

The Editors of Encyclopaedia BritannicaThis article was most recently revised and updated by Adam Augustyn.

18 June 2022 Anywhere

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope wherever you are that you are doing well today or on a road to wellness and recovery in mind, body and soul. I hope you have all the resources you need for all the ways you are trying to make yourself the best person you can be and this world a better place for your being in it.

Ever since the first time I saw The Chosen episode with the Samaritan woman at the well, there was a part that made me curious. It was at the end of Jesus’s exchange with the woman and the disciples offer Jesus food and he refuses saying he has a food they don’t know about. I wondered what was this food?!

When you stop to think about it, the last time you were in the flow….truly happy doing something were you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? Or did you feel “full?” All the empty spaces within you filled up. Happiness is an energy….like a food. For me a energy food that goes beyond just happiness is hearing and singing beautiful songs and going on walks to interact with the other beings I share this life with. There is an energy exchange when you stop to appreciate a rose and smile! Not all food is food you chew and swallow. I am wondering if this is what Jesus meant. Matters of the Spirit create energies that feed a soul…fill us up and quench our thirst when we are in the midst of the experience. That spiritual experience doesn’t have to be in a temple…it can be anywhere….the Spirit, to me, is the very air that gives us life:

https://youtu.be/ordhsDeAt60 – Jesus and the outcast woman at the well

John 4:27-32
New International
Version
The Disciples Rejoin Jesus
27 Just then his disciples returned(A) and were
surprised to find him talking with a woman. But
no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are
you talking with her?”
28 Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went
back to the town and said to the people,
29 “Come, see a man who told me everything I
ever did. B) Could this be the Messiah?”(C)
30 They came out of the town and made their
way toward him.
31 Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, 0)
eat something.”
32 But he said to them, “I have food to eat(E) that
you know nothing about.”

Read full chapter
Cross references
A. John 4:27 : ver 8
B. John 4:29 : ver 17, 18
C. John 4:29 : M+ 12•22- In 7-26 31

Yesterday I was thinking about something called a path to success. It is a path I imagine for the children. There is a time when we know why we are here and have great enthusiasm to do it but then comes the world, for many, with obstacles. So many dreams crushed by negative money, greed and power structures we’ve built for ourselves. I was imagining a generation of children being encouraged, doors opened and opportunities presented for them to have a path to success from their very beginning. Imagine a world of people doing what they have been sent here to do? Imagine all the “ happy” energy….food for the entire body these children would have to eat? I truly believe God didn’t send us here to spend all of our days in misery.

I encourage you to learn to see yourself, others and the beings we share life with using the eyes of our hearts.

3 June 2022 The Consoling and Healing Power of Music

Hello to you. How are you? This morning I’m feeling grateful for so many things – I don’t want to be sad again today! These past couple of weeks have been so heavy! When I’m feeling low it’s gratitude that is my life preserver. With thoughts of gratitude comes my love for God and music. What an amazing thing for God to inspire us to create. Even if all you can do is hum a few bars! To me expressing ourselves in music is a fantastic form of praise to God and this earth.

https://youtu.be/TTXBLspw_Z0 – Paul Baloche God of Wonders

Music in it’s many forms has always been something I could turn to for every facet of life experience. Whether it be a happy, sad or confusing moment, there has been some sort of song. This morning I wanted to remember happier, sillier times in my life and the B-52’s came to mind. I think it’s so wonderful that after all these years they still perform together:

https://youtu.be/9SOryJvTAGs – B-52’s Love Shack

https://youtu.be/d1Nq82S7_0Q – Rock Lobster – B52’s

This psalm, 147, has a little bit of everything in it. God mending the hearts of the broken hearted and giving praise in song. I thought it was beautiful that there was music to honor the victims at Uvalde:

Psalm 147

Praise the Lord.[a]

How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and fitting to praise him!2 The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the exiles of Israel.
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4 He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
6 The Lord sustains the humble
but casts the wicked to the ground.7 Sing to the Lord with grateful praise;
make music to our God on the harp.8 He covers the sky with clouds;
he supplies the earth with rain
and makes grass grow on the hills.
9 He provides food for the cattle
and for the young ravens when they call.10 His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
11 the Lord delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.12 Extol the Lord, Jerusalem;
praise your God, Zion.13 He strengthens the bars of your gates
and blesses your people within you.
14 He grants peace to your borders
and satisfies you with the finest of wheat.15 He sends his command to the earth;
his word runs swiftly.
16 He spreads the snow like wool
and scatters the frost like ashes.
17 He hurls down his hail like pebbles.
Who can withstand his icy blast?
18 He sends his word and melts them;
he stirs up his breezes, and the waters flow.19 He has revealed his word to Jacob,
his laws and decrees to Israel.
20 He has done this for no other nation;
they do not know his laws.[b]Praise the Lord.

Voices and talents shared to help console a broken hearted Texas community:

https://youtu.be/lwmitxvM0LE – Light of the world church choir at memorial site of Uvalde shooting victims

https://youtu.be/FA1cupxYaKM – Mariachis honor victims of Uvalde school shooting with musical performance

https://youtu.be/ZjUE07zDtEA – 11-year old songs sings in honor of friend killed in Uvalde shooting

24 May 2022 Walking and Talking

Hello to you. How are you in your today? What are you grateful for today? I’m grateful I have a working washer and dryer in my house so I can do laundry today. I can remember lugging clothes to the laundromat in my younger days. So many quarters….so much time spent going through the process.

Yesterday morning I was given the gift of a walking and talking with a friend. Walking and taking about things is something I enjoy….very therapeutic too! She is a mother of three boys and I loved the things she would point out on the walk that I didn’t see or notice. Stuff like mounds of ants or a tiny snake basking in the morning sun near the canals. She noticed different flowers or seed pods that her boys like to toss and watch blow apart. We talked about things we had going on….the ways we were feeding our souls…the ways feeding the flesh was occurring. She is learning that what she does to serve God isn’t a checklist item on a to do list. It’s not “God and the next thing that needs to be done.” The glory goes to God. It’s just about God.

The route we decided to go took us past something I hadn’t seen before and that was the Middleton Food Bank in operation. People were there getting food and milk. They seemed to be operating out of a storage locker behind the Dollar Store. I exchanged hello’s and “it’s a good day” with one man who had just received a few things. He looked at me and smiled in agreement, “yes today is a good day!” I liked it over the holidays when the grocery store in town I go to, Ridley’s, would put together bags of food we could buy to help the Food Bank. I wish they would do that year round! This operation has had difficulties recently with keeping and storing cold foods and I haven’t heard if they got that resolved: https://www.ktvb.com/amp/article/news/local/middleton-food-bank-needing-help/277-5c036ce0-b20d-4002-8f22-b372a020a7ba

https://middletonfoodbank.weebly.com/ – their home page and they also have a Facebook page.

In a world as prosperous as we live in – no one should be going without food, water and shelter!

Something neat happened on the evening walk with Link. After much path crossing and hello’s I finally got to exchange names with another one of my neighbors! I really live amongst some really good people. God is gradually answering my prayer to meet and know my neighbors!

I was trying to add pictures to this post and it looks like I’ve used up all my space on here for pictures! Ugh! I was afraid that would happen! I’ll figure something out. What I probably need to do is make galleries of previous posts with pictures. Pictures, depending on their format, can take up a lot of space. I should be able to share them on my Facebook page in the mean time.

Something I found yesterday that really helped me with trying to clear my energy centers and they have separate ones if you want to clear just one area:

https://youtu.be/4C0laqf93fg – Unblock all 7 Chakras|guided meditation| healing camp #16

22 May 2022 A Healthy Body Is A Guest Chamber A Sick Body Is A Prison – Sir Francis Bacon

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well in your today. If your not well…..I understand and hope you have love and support for whatever you are going through. You might feel alone in these moments but I assure you your not. A stranger, somewhere in this world is praying for you even as I write this.

Quote I found from Sir Francis Bacon that articulates this so well!
Another quote from Sir Bacon is “knowledge is power”

The title of my blog is in honor of a recent death in our family. Much like another friend I loved and loss when I was in Texas, her body became a prison. Things would be going well and then something else would not be working right….systematic system failure. So many people in the world in all levels of our worlds strata are in prison in their bodies. People get sick…..people get old….people get broken and so many artificial and often expensive treatments and methods are employed to extend their lives. Those who love them hold on so tight and make things very complicated. What is the quality of those final years before death finally wins out? We pray for those we love to be cured…to get well and the conversation that person may be having with God both in mind and spirit is to be set free. The “body stuff” can become a burden too much to carry. I am happy she is free of the burden of her body.

I watched this video yesterday from an interview with Master Shi and it makes me think of all this. Our creator God has a plan for each of us and when we deviate from this plan, no matter what we do, we will not succeed:

https://youtu.be/1mbPjucxYoI – Shi Heng Yi The Creator of the Universe

Talk about a body that became a prison! Jesus endured so much and then was free!

Yesterday I was thinking about a few musicians that in their lifetimes made such a mark on my life in so many ways. Each of them, in their own public and private ways suffered. Behind the glamor, glory and fame they had struggles they, with their courage, hardly let us see:

When he smiled he lit up the place he was in – smiling through the hurts of a very public life and career
There are a bazillion pictures. I got to see David in California in 1991 – my first and only rock concert to date. From what I have read, this wasn’t a great time for him personally in his career.
I looked all over to find this picture – so beautiful. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen Purple Rain! I sense this creative genius got lonely and was hard on himself. He gave his all.
As I was thinking of musicians Luciano popped in. His voice evokes so many emotions! When I think of him I think of a white canary I had named Gabriel….that little birds could trill! Trilling or vocal trilling is defined technically as a rapid alternation between two notes, most often in a high register sung by a soprano or tenor and should not be confused with lip trills.Sep 20, 2019
https://www.30daysinger.com › blog
Trilling Ins and Outs – 30 Day Singer Blog



I was with my Aunt and Uncle yesterday so not much for walk pictures! Here are a few images from yesterday:

This message from A Woman’s Spirit made me think of people I know and love that use humor to help them navigate through the pain, struggles and sorrows they are facing. Sometimes things are so ridiculous all you can do is laugh! My cousin Laura and I laugh together and one of our favorite phrases…”shit happens!”
I saw this at my Aunt and Uncles when I got out of my car. Just a little earth in a crack in a driveway and then this grows! So pretty! This earth and beings like this are so intelligent. They find a way to be under even the most undesirable conditions!

20 May 2022 The Difficulty of Releasing Earthly Attachments

Hello to you. For me it’s Friday again and I say that because it feels like time is moving so fast! Yesterday I came across a video taken from one of my favorite animated shows called Avatar: The Last Airbender. It was when Aang, the Avatar learns about the energy vortexes in our bodies called chakras and how to clear them when they are blocked. The one part that brought me to tears was thinking about letting go of all I love that attaches me to this life. When we are overly attached to things of this earth we suffer when the inevitable happens – change….loss. We can’t hold on too tight and this is a lesson I’ve struggled with almost my whole life.

https://youtu.be/StrbppmsZJw – How to open your 7 chakras as explained in a children’s show (Nickelodeon Avatar the Last Airbender)

Buddha taught that “the root of suffering is attachment” because the only constant in the universe is change. And change often involves loss. When you allow yourself to become attached to someone or something, you’re more likely to dwell on the pain of losing them.

9 Ways Attachments Play Out In Your Life To Make You Suffer – Mindful Zen

In the Bible you can find a variation of this message. We are encouraged to store up our devotion to God not to people, places and things if this earth. Our souls, the energy within us, will care nothing about the world once set free of the flesh:

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

https://chop.bible.com › bible › mat….

Matthew 6:19-34 NIV – Bible.com

Think of great storms that have happened and how grateful people are to come away from them with their life and those they love – their neighbors. Their home a pile of wreckage or ash but they praise God that they still live. In those moments reminded about what truly matters.

We are taught from a very young age living in the world structure in which we live to work hard and acquire things. Things representing the fruit of our labors. We associate memories and feelings to the things we acquire…..this leads to attachment. Then comes the time when for whatever reason we have to let go of what we have acquired and then comes the feelings…the loss….the suffering. How to live in a material world without getting overly attached but not live like everything is just disposable….expendable. What a paradox we are asked to live in our material world!

I didn’t get many pictures yesterday. The energy outside has felt “weird” to me lately and I have felt disconnected:

Trying to eat better
A quote from Robin that resonated
The sun looking like a bright moon again
Another “victrola” flower opened – In 1901, Eldridge Johnson of the Talking Machine Company created the Victrola. The Victrola is a type of early phonograph that used an internal horn. It was patented by the Victor Talking Machine Company, and only refers to internal horned phonographs.Nov 24, 2010
http://cultureandcommunication.org › …
The Victrola – Dead Media Archive
We all have different gifts God has given us for a purpose
If you look really close on the upper right it seems I captured a bird flying by lol
Lovely Willow with winds blowing her long green locks of hair
This picture really caught my attention – the artist did a great job of illumination – the eyes are filled with light seeing this

21 April 2022 When Is The Last Time You Fed Your Soul?

Hello to you. How are you? Another late start for me. Last night I actually fell asleep but then Link and Smokey needed to go out…at 2 in the morning! Ugh!! I was able to get back to sleep off and on and actually have interesting dreams. I was with a lot of different people!

Yesterday morning I had the blessing of meeting a new friend for breakfast at the Sunrise. We got the chance to hear more of each other’s stories and talk about the goodness of God in our lives. She and I are both relatively new to Grace Bible Church in Middleton. We talked about a lot. She reminded me that if I truly believe who God is, I am not the labels this world has given me….my sin…my mistakes. I am his child and I am forgiven. With a loving God we don’t have to be defined by the world. She mentioned a very convicting question she was asked recently, “When is the last time you fed your soul? Or have you just been feeding the flesh?” Life in our modern world can seem overwhelming and chaotic. Especially with my friend trying to be a wife, mother to three rambunctious boys and so much more….. and still in all that “noise” of life take care of yourself…. feed your soul. I walked there and walked home and I was so sore lol but I made sure to write down that question so I could share it with you today. The other thing I wrote down feeling the pain of my body was, “my body is not a prison. My body is a temple.” The pain will pass…it always does.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20New International Version

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples(A) of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;(B) 20 you were bought at a price.(C)Therefore honor God with your bodies.(D)

Yesterdays time really meant a lot to me. Meeting in person! Seeing her eyes change depending on what she was talking about – watching a little bit of the tired she carry’s in those eyes lift. Seeing her smile as she talked about what was on her heart. There is something about actual tangible moments like we had that no digital medium can ever replace. We fed our souls and our belly’s were contented by yet another wonderful Sunrise breakfast.

Here are some pictures. May be they will give you a moment of rest today. May be they will help you feed your soul. I encourage you to take that camera phone of yours on a walk…what miracle of creation will God show you?

The sun looking like a moon!
These giants reaching to the heavens
One of a whole group of these. I think it’s a succulent.
Eye in the sky
I found these two little beauties hiding under a bush
When I got up from photographing the blooms I almost stepped on this little being. Jumping spiders are amazing to me. I’ve had some actually interact with me.
Where the lost puzzle pieces go….I had to smile when I found this. Thinking of people I love who enjoy puzzles. Putting together puzzles with my Mom on snow days when I was a kid.
Couldn’t zoom in closer but wanted you to see the ducks enjoying the canals.
Hello sun
I was looking for scripture about light and darkness and found this in John
“Hold on…take another one”
“Ok much better! I’m tired from our walk but so happy! If you have to choose between being happy and sad I hope you will choose happy! Teeth aren’t just for chewing! Even we dogs know teeth are for smiling! “
“Hi I’m Smokey —-what Link said! “

6 April 2022 A Tangible World

Check out 6 April 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1448162389

Hello to you. How are you? I hope you are well. Today I got out of my comfort zone and went to a Middleton Woman’s Group. They had their first meeting at our local bakery called The Rustic Oven. All of the ladies were recent transplants from various parts of California like the Bay Area. It was interesting to hear the different reasons they left California. For some it was the politics and others stuff like the fires. It was a nice first meeting. I went from interacting purely in the digital world to interacting in the tangible world. I got out of my comfort zone!

I had an orange roll here was really yummy. Got a chance to meet some nice ladies!

Today there was a good message in A Woman’s Spirit:

We can say yes to life even at its darkest moments if we can see it as part of the greater reality. – Mary Norton Gordon

We glimpse only the opportunities that bear our name during any experience. We have heard many times in this program that we are never given more than we can handle. We can trust that this is true. We have also heard that God tells us only what we need to know right now; the rest will come to us when we are ready, when the time is right. That too we can count on as truth.

It goes without saying, then, that every moments experience is part of the bigger design for our lives, a design that always has a positive outcome. If we feel scared or confused by the changes in our lives, it’s only because we have forgotten that God is in charge of the plan for our lives. We can say yes and be at peace.

I know that what comes to me today is a tiny part of God’s big plan for my life. I am not alone.

———————-

Some pictures from my walks yesterday and this morning:

Matthew 19:14New International Version

14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs(A) to such as these.”(B)

29 March 2022 Control

Check out 29 March 2022 Tuesday chat (core issues) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1440224536

Sunrise and realizing I have dirty windows! Lol!
Thinking of my friend who gave me this today – she’s such a good listener and friend
I was lead to revisit this book today. It was a gift from my Aunt many years ago
One of the biggest core issues in dysfunction is control
I know it’s probably hard to read this – really good stuff. Another word for control is attachment. In Buddhism it’s taught that attachment leads to suffering. Trying to control everything often leads to addiction and abuse.
I learned about surrender through the Holy Spirit and AA

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. The direction I was lead today was to a book my Aunt gave me many years ago, Healing the Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield MD. In particular to look at core issues of dysfunctional people and one of those core issues is control also known as attachment. The book is still available if you are interested in further reading and learning: Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families https://www.amazon.com/dp/0932194400/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_DM6N7NE2ZFQ55EGW7PHB

A couple messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

Inside me is a stirring truth that is guided by my Higher Power. I am empowered by truth and joy. – Laurel Lewis

I will listen to the still, small voice within and feel secure and joyful, knowing that my actions are God’s will.

On my Twitch Stream today one of my viewers from England who is a young girl, told us about what happened to her, her brother and her brothers friend. They were attacked by bullies again. She was pushed in front of a bus by these kids! I was so hurt for her and the others attacked. The core issue I was lead to in Dr. Whitfields book, control, really applies to these bullies. Many bullies are themselves victims of violence or have been taught this behavior. Are from lives where they haven’t been in control. In order for them not to feel powerless themselves they externalize in their behaviors…. do what has been done to them. Some of these types are fortunate and some kind of intervention happens but I suspect far too many an oftentimes divine intervention doesn’t happen. They end up in jail or prison…death row. In this lifetime they just don’t learn. I’m so grateful for all the things I’ve gone through that I’ve had God who has put the right people, places and things in my life. Some of us internalize and abuse ourselves to deal with powerlessness and in the case of bullies and others they externalize their powerlessness. “Frequently the person who feels out of control is obsessed with the need to be in control.” (Page 69).

One of the most resilient beings on earth
“Hey! You matter! Try to be good today ok?!”

23 March 2022 Finding Comfort

Check out 23 March 2022 Wednesday chat(AA Step 3) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1434295003

Trees have started budding here
I had to talk to God and myself this morning while feeling anxiety

Hello to you. How are you? Today began with one of those anxiety attacks I get once in awhile. I think it has to do with sleep apnea but I’m not sure. I just know I kind of freaked out. I had to pull out some tools from my sanity toolkit to get myself calmed down. I started with talking to God and went to the Bible to try and find comforting messages. I looked through so many chapters….the concordance for anxiety and comfort and just couldn’t find what I was looking for. It came to me to try the “Big Book” from Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically Step 3….made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I ended up making my Twitch Stream today mostly about this step. When I initially entered into the program this step was hard. My sponsor reassured me that it didn’t have to be just the God of the Bible that I turned my will….surrendered to. It had to be a power that wasn’t me. It was me that got me into the mess I was in. Chances were that it wasn’t going to be my own will that was going to get me free. I just had to acknowledge I was powerless over alcohol (among other things of an addictive nature), admit I had a problem and then, most importantly, be WILLING to ask for help….accept help the way it came. What I realized using this program is if you get to the core of why addiction happens there are fewer what’s. A lot of people I met in AA were self medicating – they had a lot of “why’s” they were covering up with alcohol. They needed therapy and either couldn’t get it or would rather have the stigma of being an alcoholic than the stigma that comes with mental illness. When I look at my own life with help and by myself, there were so many why’s to my addictions. I kept trying to fill voids in my life with people, places and things. Many of those voids were of an intangible nature. You can’t put tangible things in the space where only the intangible dwells.

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today had to do with friendship. The power we learn through the program is we can choose better friends. Here is a thought provoking part of the message:

“We may not have picked our friends carefully in our youth. Many of us felt pressured to hang out with a crowd that didn’t share our values. We frequently lived up to their expectations of us rather than our own. The internal conflict was painful, and we may still suffer from it.”

My choice of friends today reflects the health of my recovery.

________

It’s pretty easy to tell who are true friends are in life. They are the ones who are still there for you and comfort you as you clean up the mess you’ve made. I consider many members of my family also as dear friends! When we are young it feels like we don’t have a great power of choosing – so much is chosen for us!

Speaking of friendship! Last night Astravert did a wonderful collaboration with some fellow musicians on Twitch:

Check out astravert afishinabirdcage bagelrabbit COLLAB https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433997448