23 September 2021 Peaceful

Hello to you! How are you today? I’m doing alright . I had this blog all finished a few minutes ago but I decided to discard it. I don’t know why I guess it just wasn’t what I wanted to post!

Wtf? Why did you delete it ?!

I wanted to talk about a feeling I got last night . For the first time in a long time I felt peace and contentment . I went to sleep and woke up with that feeling and it was so awesome . No emotional or physical pain! True peace . I wonder if it was spending time with my friend yesterday . We went to Red Robin for burgers and had a really nice visit. I got lots of hugs !

Oh to still the churning waters of my soul, to calm the anxiety stained winds that always seem to blow. A simple gesture of the warm embrace, to stop time and put a smile on my face. A remedy as old as can be, someone lovingly holding on to me .

I don’t know if there is a perfect formula for peace. If there was we would have a whole lot fewer doctors and pill bottles . I know part of my peace comes from God through other people . A simple thing like a hug means so much to me . I think there is a lot of power having two hearts close together .

2 September 2021 Appreciation

Hello to you ! How are you doing today ? I hope your doing well . It’s another beautiful day here. I wish the skies would clear up but we will take what we can get .

This morning my mind turns towards thinking about appreciation. It’s so easy to take a person, place and or thing for granted. We can live life just expecting they will always be there and we are learning on many levels that is is a mistake. There is one thing that is certain about existence and that is change! Impermanence is the name of the game of life .

It’s important to show appreciation, to express gratitude while there is still yet time to do it . It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture either! Sometimes it’s just saying the words is all someone is waiting to hear .

12 March 2021 Wisdom

Hi there! How are you in your where and when as you visit me here? I hope you are well. I am doing well. Last night my friend came by after work and we were treated to not one but three waves of migrating birds like the ones I had written about seeing in the morning! We think they are snow geese and it was amazing! She hadn’t see anything like that before!

We talked for quite awhile. Part of what we talked about was faith. I have been having a stumbling block about Jesus Christ being my one and only savior. She’s been patient with me and we read some scripture she referred to as the “Roman Road.” I am so grateful to have a dear friend helping me along on this journey I am on. Someone to help me with this seeking I am doing for God’s will in my life.

Well before bed I was praying and God put it on my mind to read Proverbs 2 2-3. I didn’t immediately leap out of bed and read it but remembered this morning to read it. As I read it I found it was perfect:

My son, if you accept my words
    and store up my commands within you,
turning your ear to wisdom
    and applying your heart to understanding—
indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;

balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 38 (yes,no, may be in eternity)

wisdom” in the English Ordinal system equals 83

understanding ” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 (one senses unknown person, place or thing)

Yesterday I figured out something I can do while I wait for a specific call from God was pray for other people. My Aunt shared her list with me so I have a good start.

22 Feb 2021 Friendship

Hello to you. How are you today? I am doing pretty good I guess. I am thinking about a question I asked my Aunt yesterday, “How do you make friends?” I asked her because she and my Uncle seem to have so many friends. She said for her it’s that she loves meeting new people; that’s her thing. The other thing is showing a genuine interest in what the person you meet is interested in. The sad truth is though that after you leave school, it’s just harder to meet and make new friends.

If I am honest with myself, it’s never been hard for me to make friends, it’s been hard for me to keep them. When I meet new people I do express genuine interest in what they are talking about. It just seems like a lot of people “pass through” my life but don’t stay or if they do they are not local.

I have been praying for tangible friends to come into my life and eventually a tangible companion who can help share my life. It all starts with friendship. May be I need to learn more about what it means to be a friend before God will shift my life in that direction. I have a lot to learn about a lot of things and being a good friend is definitely one of those things.

Let’s see what friendship is in the numbers:
friendship” the English Ordinal system equals 108 – one with the unknown for eternity

25 August 2020 Just Friends

Hello to you, how are you ?  I hope this finds you doing well in your wherever and whenever.   The topic that has come to mind lately is friendship.  When you are divorced and or single this word comes up quite a bit.  There are some phrases that come up like, “let’s just be friends,” “can’t we just be friends” ” friends but not lovers.”  Isn’t there even a song about it?!

A big part of this, I think, has to do with healing after being broken.  The not jumping back into something and or someone too fast.  That said, the thought of this friendship process kind of puts me off a bit.  How long should it take or is there any rules?

I have been using a dating site Match.com just to put myself back out there.  I have had a couple of hits.  Both of them are ending up in the friend zone because I am still healing.

So what does all this say in the numbers; lets see:

friendship” in the English Ordinal system equals 108 (one unknown object in eternity process)

one zero eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 147 (one left part of brain all vices in check)

one four seven” in the English Ordinal system equals 159 (one all senses in no process)

one five nine ” in the English Ordinal system equals 118 (one in one eternity process)

one one eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 117 ( one in one all vices in check)

one one seven” in the English Ordinal system equals 133 (one in yes, no, may be yes, no, may be process)

one three three” in the English Ordinal system equals 146 (one left side of brain, all vices in check but one process)

The way this reads has been kind of my experience with male to female friendships so far.  It usually ends up not having all vices in check!  Usually the one that isn’t in check is lust lol.

friend zone” in the English Ordinal system equals 116 (one in one all vices in check but one)

one one six” in the English Ordinal system equals 120 (one in light and shadow of self with known and or unknown object)

one two zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 156  (one all senses all vices in check but one)

one five six” in the English Ordinal system equals 128 (one in light and shadow of self with eternity )

one two eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 141  (one in left side of brain one self )



1 June 2020 Anxiety and hot laptop

Hello.  I haven’t written in a couple of days.  I was fortunate this weekend and my neighbors decided to have a garage sale.  I was able to sell several things and they gave me the money for it  Now we don’t have to worry about the king mattress being at the curb or a couple other things.  It was so nice of them to allow me to see some things in their sale.  My husband and his dad came by on Saturday to get some the last of his things out of the house.  I was happy to see them and so was Link but sad for the reason.  Link howled like crazy again after they left.  The noises Link was making is what I was feeling but not expressing inside.   I did manage to get him calmed down after a walk and a Skype session with my cousins wife which soothed us both.

Sometimes you just need a friend!

I can feel myself resisting what is happening with this separation/pending divorce/home sale/moving process even though I’m doing the next right things.  I have been fighting with myself inside a lot.  All of this is provoking a lot of anxiety.  I’m starting to wonder if I don’t need to talk to my doctor about an anti-anxiety as needed medication.  I don’t want to be one of those people who pops pills for everything but I think I may need to about this.  When I start t feel those feelings I don’t want to do anything but go crawl into bed!

I wish I could be like Link express myself and move on and not ruminate – just grab one of my toys and play and not be trapped in emotions!

The toy I do grab that helps some is my laptop it’s a DELL Inspiron 15 3000. The only problem is it gets so hot when I want to play video games on it.  Very disappointing.  So I mainly can use it for chatting and stuff like this.  I should have know better.

As always thank you for stopping by and reading.  I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.