25 August 2020 Just Friends

Hello to you, how are you ?  I hope this finds you doing well in your wherever and whenever.   The topic that has come to mind lately is friendship.  When you are divorced and or single this word comes up quite a bit.  There are some phrases that come up like, “let’s just be friends,” “can’t we just be friends” ” friends but not lovers.”  Isn’t there even a song about it?!

A big part of this, I think, has to do with healing after being broken.  The not jumping back into something and or someone too fast.  That said, the thought of this friendship process kind of puts me off a bit.  How long should it take or is there any rules?

I have been using a dating site Match.com just to put myself back out there.  I have had a couple of hits.  Both of them are ending up in the friend zone because I am still healing.

So what does all this say in the numbers; lets see:

friendship” in the English Ordinal system equals 108 (one unknown object in eternity process)

one zero eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 147 (one left part of brain all vices in check)

one four seven” in the English Ordinal system equals 159 (one all senses in no process)

one five nine ” in the English Ordinal system equals 118 (one in one eternity process)

one one eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 117 ( one in one all vices in check)

one one seven” in the English Ordinal system equals 133 (one in yes, no, may be yes, no, may be process)

one three three” in the English Ordinal system equals 146 (one left side of brain, all vices in check but one process)

The way this reads has been kind of my experience with male to female friendships so far.  It usually ends up not having all vices in check!  Usually the one that isn’t in check is lust lol.

friend zone” in the English Ordinal system equals 116 (one in one all vices in check but one)

one one six” in the English Ordinal system equals 120 (one in light and shadow of self with known and or unknown object)

one two zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 156  (one all senses all vices in check but one)

one five six” in the English Ordinal system equals 128 (one in light and shadow of self with eternity )

one two eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 141  (one in left side of brain one self )

 

 

1 June 2020 Anxiety and hot laptop

Hello.  I haven’t written in a couple of days.  I was fortunate this weekend and my neighbors decided to have a garage sale.  I was able to sell several things and they gave me the money for it  Now we don’t have to worry about the king mattress being at the curb or a couple other things.  It was so nice of them to allow me to see some things in their sale.  My husband and his dad came by on Saturday to get some the last of his things out of the house.  I was happy to see them and so was Link but sad for the reason.  Link howled like crazy again after they left.  The noises Link was making is what I was feeling but not expressing inside.   I did manage to get him calmed down after a walk and a Skype session with my cousins wife which soothed us both.

Sometimes you just need a friend!

I can feel myself resisting what is happening with this separation/pending divorce/home sale/moving process even though I’m doing the next right things.  I have been fighting with myself inside a lot.  All of this is provoking a lot of anxiety.  I’m starting to wonder if I don’t need to talk to my doctor about an anti-anxiety as needed medication.  I don’t want to be one of those people who pops pills for everything but I think I may need to about this.  When I start t feel those feelings I don’t want to do anything but go crawl into bed!

I wish I could be like Link express myself and move on and not ruminate – just grab one of my toys and play and not be trapped in emotions!

The toy I do grab that helps some is my laptop it’s a DELL Inspiron 15 3000. The only problem is it gets so hot when I want to play video games on it.  Very disappointing.  So I mainly can use it for chatting and stuff like this.  I should have know better.

As always thank you for stopping by and reading.  I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.