21 October 2020 Finding Happy

Hello to you, how are you today? I hope wherever and whenever this finds you that you are happy. As I write that I realize that asking someone to be happy can be a tall order in this world now. People say that all the time, “I just want you to be happy.” Sometimes it takes a big effort just to smile; such has been the case for me for the past few months. The one person in my life that I actually found happiness with decided to move on without me. So now I am having to relearn what it means to be me, to be Jackie, not Kyle and Jackie and it’s hard.

I am having to revisit lessons from my past. My first husband taught me an important lesson about happiness. He said that no one can make you anything – make you happy. This is so hard because it seems like I have been almost programmed that someone else should be the root cause of my happiness. I love to be in love! I have been this way most of my life. It also occurs to me that I have also been someone that has been empty much of my life expecting someone else to fill me up. I was starting to find out what made me happy but it was in conflict with what made husband happy. Experimenting in our kitchen with earth and grass bowls just didn’t appeal to my husband!

So let’s see what the phrase “I just want you to be happy” looks like in the numbers:

I just want you to be happy” in the English Ordinal system equals 306 (yes, no, may be in the unknown which can be a person, place and or thing, all vices in check but one)

three zero six” in the English Ordinal system equals 172 (I thought this was neat that “a world” world =72 came up as the very next part of the equation)

one seven two” in the English Ordinal system equals 157 (one all the senses all vices in check)

one five seven” in the English Ordinal system equals 141 (one the left side of the brain one and 41 = garbage*)

one four one” in the English Ordinal system equals 128 (one light and shadow self in eternity and 28 = man )

one two eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 141 (pattern)

*It’s interesting to note that sometimes the quest to be happy makes ALOT of garbage! How many people shop to make themselves and or others happy!