30 July 2022 Betrayal and Forgiveness

https://youtu.be/ND-nldJc8kU – How Do We Forgive Our Fathers – Smoke Signals

14 March 2022 You Are Significant

Check out 14 March 2022 Monday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1425549698

A little joke between my cousin and I – she gave this to me yesterday lol

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m a little slow today. It’s amazing how much just one hour can screw you up lol! Most people I talk to agree it would be ok if we did away with the daylight savings.

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit was about how important it is to value your own significance. By valuing your own significance you are more able to value the significance of others. When people are caretaker types or and have low self esteem or are damaged by life they don’t realize their own value. They always put others wants, needs and value before their own. I was like this and wasn’t checking my motives about it……I got resentful! Resentment is the seed oftentimes for addictive behaviors. In addition to trying to get sleep, I used to drink to deal with my feelings. I wanted to be numb. Distractions of this world are used to lose ourselves too. If I’m doing a distracting thing I don’t have to think about anything else – I can avoid myself!

Right now I am having time to get to know myself. I am still not feeling suited to be somebody’s significant other! The void in me that was created by the divorce is being filled with getting to know myself better and getting closer to God.

A Woman’s Spirit Message for today:

Before I can become a significant other, I must become significant to myself. – Kelley Vickstrom

Why is it so hard to feel as if we matter? Putting other people’s wishes and needs before our own may seem natural. We may feel shame when we say no. As girls, we may have watched our mothers and grandmothers tending to the whims of everyone else. Probably without ever being told, we simply followed suit. What’s worse , we may not have even expected appreciation for our actions.

Now that we are learning to think of ourselves we feel a bit selfish. However , we must begin to honor our significance, and we have to understand that to do so is not egotistical. In order to lovingly appreciate others in our lives, to treat them as significant, we have to value our own significance. Our Higher Power considers us significant; it’s time we followed suit.

Affirming my own significance will help me appreciate other people. Today I will value my interactions with others.

This scene from one of my favorite films and books speaks volumes. In this scene multigenerational trauma, how we pass the good and bad through multiple generations is spoken:

https://youtu.be/tJzxpUkJYXo – Joy Luck Club you don’t know how much your worth

“No, this cannot be, this not knowing what you’re worth, this not begin with you. My mother not know her worth until too late – too late for her, but not for me.”

23 February 2022 Wednesday

Check out 23 February 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1307654970

Hello to you. How are you? I hope this finds you well. It’s a sunny day here but really chilly out! I had trouble getting up this morning. It was another case of waking up in the middle of the night and taking Hydroxyzine to go back to sleep. I almost missed my therapists phone call. She helped me get out of bed and get some breakfast.

The message on the stream today was partially about multigenerational trauma. This was because of the messages in the reading for today in A Woman’s Spirit. What happened to us in our childhood doesn’t have to determine what our life as adults will be like. We can make a conscious choice to learn from those experiences and grow as people. Every walk of life has suffered some kind of trauma – it’s up to us what we do with those experiences.

Today’s psalm is one of my favorites – psalm 23 :

Psalm 23New International Version

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd,(A) I lack nothing.(B)
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,(C)
    he refreshes my soul.(D)
He guides me(E) along the right paths(F)
    for his name’s sake.(G)
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a](H)
I will fear no evil,(I)
    for you are with me;(J)
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table(K) before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;(L)
my cup(M) overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love(N) will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

Snippets of color on the floor this morning that caught my eye

“Healing can occur when I see my family of origin as just a vessel to bring me into new spiritual growth , rather than as a predictor of all my life’s work .” – Judi Hollis (A Woman’s Spirit)

“Every day I am embarking on an adventure. What I do with my experiences today can be a positive reaction to what I learned from the past.” (A Woman’s Spirit)