The Wasp

 

*Seeing this today was like they were showing me, “Hey, look what my job is! I have value, I have worth!”  We used to be mean to the wasps until I took the time to learn their job in nature actually is.  From what I have personally witnessed, their purpose for existence includes trying to keep our trees healthy.  Since trees are basically the lungs of the planet, I think that’s a pretty important job!   I have read conflicting information about wasps online.  My personal experience is they are helpers and teachers.  What came through in the numbers is a pecan tree and a teacher have a pattern in common.  What I believe is we all, whatever form, are teachers, students, messages and receivers of those messages.  I believe everyone has value in one way or another.  It’s not always easy to understand what we are trying to convey to each other.  I don’t think we should give up trying!

133 – “don’t give up”

Wasp – 59/84/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150/140…….

*remember, these are only just a few of the meanings of these numbers that I have found for myself and am sharing with you.

59’s – dragon, social, size, gather, larvae, learned

84’s – lesson, daughter, motive, “create life”

109 – struggle

40’s – food, weak

58’s – lunch, want, “eat life”, feeling

25’s – all

34’s – chance, free, heat

134 – information

50’s – easy, fight, numb

150’s – understanding, communication, positive image, energy draining, possession, pure oxygen

“The Wasp” – 92/100/162/144/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150/140……..

92’s – thinking, seasons, training, opinion, purging, relative, picture, appetite, day shift

100’s – sources, services, attitude, collecting, culture, acknowledge, accumulate, intellect, boundary

62’s – taking, riches, behaves, noise, hearing, germs, humane, queen, disease, favor, plasma, choices

162’s – “break in routine,” “eyes of the sun,” “to have conscience”

44’s – brain, talk

144 – disruption

54’s – love, sun, voice, chemical, health, acting, breath, bodies

154’s – comprehension, “a feeling process,” “point of view,” autonomous

36’s – child, bite, heard, asp, agree

136’s – evaporation, “life experience,” “human nature,” “mixed signals,” “speaking voice”

42’s – self, new, gift, balanced, rain, war, female, rebel

142’s – profiteering, “we are all related,” temperature, “food is energy ,” “energy language,” brain trust, life purpose,

52’s – earth, seeds, caring, speak, heart, raise, create, birds, crop,

152’s – amber tree resin, positive drama, positive being,

pecan tree – 87/114/128/141/128/141……….

87- person, truth, roots, justice

pecan – 39/98/91/76/117/133/146

98 – killer bees (I found this value trying to figure out why people may have a fear of bees/wasps.  Remember those old Killer bee television shows and movies?  When I was a very small girl I can remember drinking a can of soda without realizing a bee was in the can and I got stung.  I was pretty freaked out!  It wasn’t the bee’s fault but a “seed of fear” was planted that I had to actively overcome through time.  I did this through trying to understand them instead of thinking they were all bad. The same principle I have used towards other insects and life forms to include people.  It’s not easy to do but for me personally, it has been worth trying to do.)

76 – humans

117’s – nurture, “I’m sorry,” dissection, projecting, “broken earth,” humility, upbringing, occupation, statement, cultivated, heartbroken, water falls (If you look at a pecan it looks like a human brain in the shell and they are considered a healthy food for the brain). http://www.alzheimersweekly.com/2016/11/pecans-provide-brain-boost.html

tree – 48/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150……….

https://www.lung.org/ – The American Lung Association website

https://www.arborday.org/ – The Arbor Day Foundation website

helpers – 83/105/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150……..

83’s – wisdom, nerves, non-biased

teacher – 60/116/120/156/128/141/28/141…….

“make peace” = 60

22 June 2019 Focus

Hello to you.  This morning has been a bit rough for me.  I found out some upsetting news about the health of my neighbors and I found myself feeling very sad and powerless.  What could I do but cry with them?  Give them  hug?  Reassurance?  Pass on their situation to people who I know are prayer/meditation warriors that could add their names to their list for daily intentions?

After breakfast I realized there was something else I could do not only for them but for myself.  I lay down on the grass and talked and cried with the one I love so much, the Earth.  I curled up into a ball like a small child and let it all go and was comforted just like being held in loving arms.  I have done this before.  It’s hard to remember sometimes, when you are all upset and stuck in a moment what to do or who to talk to about such things and get any kind of relief.

Some people talk to priests and people of the church, some call family, some talk to their pets, some people will dig deeper into work, exercise, hobbies…distractions and some people do destructive things because they just don’t know what else to do about what they are feeling.

Feelings get so big that you might feel like you could get lost in them and not find your way out.  I’ve done all the things I’ve mentioned but the thing I did this morning has been the best for me.  The Earth and sky is “big enough” to carry these things I take on sometimes.  I feel bad dumping on other living beings with this kind of pain because it’s “so big.”  I know how it feels when it happens to me.  Most times, like this morning with our neighbors, I feel so small.  I feel powerless and sad!  Sometimes it’s so strong I just want to jump out of my skin!

The other thing I realized was this, and I ran the number values on it and the answers I got matched up for me:

“Focus on what you love, what you want to happen, don’t give power to what you don’t want in this world

(Focus = 64 112/126/144/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150)

(Grass/true/mercy/chosen =64) (Vulnerable = 112) (Brain=44) (Love=54) (Child=36) (Self/War/balanced=42)(Earth/Caring=52) (Information=134)

(Communication/Understanding/Fifty States = 150) (Purple heart = 140) (Quality of Life = 158) (All = 25)

Ordinal number value: 1109  174/159/118/117/133/146

Two people suffering with a difficult situation, a “90/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle” set of circumstances.  Some “74’s” are energy, Jesus, Lucifer, Alvarado, trauma, talking, cross, cloud and parts to name just a couple I’ve found in my journey with this system.  I also turned to my Mom and Dad, a 47 and 74 in the number’s to ask for their prayers.  The number 47 is also the value for Time.  The number 59 is Wish, cruel and spare.  The number 118 is witnessed.  The number 117 “I’m sorry.” The number 133 condensation…tears.  The number 146 relationship.  These two neighbors have been so good to us ever since we moved here and those two are like peas and carrots together.  It just hurts to see them going through this.  I want the very best for them both.

So again this morning I had to remember the question/answer/phrase I use when there are bad storms and I want them to go away:

What do you want to happen?  Focus on what  you want to happen not what you don’t.”

The Ordinal number value for this = 859/133/146.

“Who did I cry on? Who comforted me in my sorrow? The Earth.  I lay down and wept and was comforted.”

Ordinal number value for this = 911 110/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

Comforted = 99 84/109/140/158/125/134/150

(Thirteen = 99) (Woman = 66, a right side up 99)

Emergency number = 168 135/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

(In United States you call 911 for help. Most people use a telephone or cell phone)

(human = 57) human being = 94) (humans = 76) (planet = 68) (people = 69) (psychologist =168)

Good health = 95 84/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

“Turn a frown into a smile and turn the frown upside down” = 598/133/146

Powerless = 132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

(Life = 32)

Powerful = 116 120/156/128/141/128

(Eternity = 116)

Thought = 99 84/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Power = 77 130/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Feeling = 58 91/76/117/133/146

(A Feeling = 59)

Strength = 111 102/156/128/141/128

(Computer=111) (Why = 56) (Man=28) (Garbage=41) (Energy exchange=141)

Weakness = 97/107/163/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Strong = 93 98/91/76/117/133/146

Weak = 40 124/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Emotion = 91 76/117/133/146

“To show Emotion” = 191 110/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150

Thanks for stopping by today!  Hopefully something here will resonate with you at some level.  Writing this helps me work through my feelings about painful experiences and this system often helps give me insights I didn’t have before I began exploring it.

19 June 2019 “People Message”

Hello to you.  I hope this finds you well today.  I have started exploring some things using sumerian gematra values in addition to the ordinal on this website: https://www.ridingthebeast.com/gematria-calculator/ and this morning, with just a few key words, saw some pretty interesting patterns I wanted to share with those who have been interested in what I’m doing….following along so to speak.  I have my own personal reference for key words that showed up to me here.  I am providing a couple at the end of this, but I encourage you to look at this for yourself and see what it says to you personally.  The main reason I do this is for that reason, it’s a conversation.

Words (sumerian) = 474  1110/996/816/810/882/936/900/1020/1320/1272/1290/1188/996….repeating pattern

Words (ordinal) = 79  107/163/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Numbers (sumerian) = 552 852/894/906/948/906…..repeating pattern

Numbers (ordinal) = 92 100/162/144/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Phrases (sumerian) = 516 768/996/816/810/882/936/900/1020/1320/1272/1290/1188/996…..repeating pattern

Phrases (ordinal) = 86 101/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Meaning (sumerian) = 378 1020/1320/1272/1290/1188/996…..repeating pattern

Meaning (ordinal) = 63  108/147/159/118/117/133/146

Reason (sumerian) = 432 1044/1308/1218/1050/1224/1260/1248/1206/1248….repeating pattern

Reason (ordinal) = 72 123/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Message (sumerian) = 414 924/960/948/906/948/906….repeating pattern

Message (ordinal) = 69 94/102/156/128/141

Communication (sumerian) = 900 1020/1320/1272/1290/1188/996…..repeating pattern

Communication (ordinal) = 150 140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Memory (sumerian) = 534 948/906/948/906….repeating pattern

Memory (ordinal) = 89  91/76/117/133/146

Remember (sumerian) = 474 1110/996/816/810/882/936/900/1020/1320/1272/1290/1188/996….repeating pattern

Remember (ordinal) =  79  107/163/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150

Conversation (sumerian) = 930 972/990/888/882/936/900/1020/1320/1272/1290/1188/996…..repeating pattern

Conversation (ordinal) = 155 118/117/133/146

“Do not forget me”  (ordinal) = 157/141/128/141

“Do not forget me” (sumerian) = 942 960/948/906/948

people (sumerian) = 414 924/960/948/906//948/906…..repeating pattern

message (sumerian) = 414

people (ordinal) = 69 94/102/156/128/141/128….repeating pattern

message (ordinal) = 69


Some key words/phrases that may or may not help you comprehend the above information*

*it’s important to remember I have only found just a few of these so far and I would be taking away from the adventure if I just gave them all to you!  If you decide and or have decided to do this for yourself, you will find more word/number values as you go through the experience.  I encourage you to make up your own personal key code list for reference.  Part of the wonder of this for me is finding the values during the process.  One word/number value will often lead me to another and as that happens, as I’ve shown above with the repeating patterns, it’s interesting to see the connections/associations.

I think you will find, as I have, sometimes as you go through a train of thought using this, a message will be there specifically for you and no one else.  This process is helping me work through the chronic trust issues I have and I am sharing to help others who might be going through the same thing and haven’t found anything else to help them.

This is not something I have chosen to “monetize/commoditize” for profit and that’s why I haven’t and don’t intend to do so if at all possible.

As I’ve stated before, this system has been around a very long time!  I’m very much a novice yet about this system of communication.  I think I’m making good progress considering I have never had any formal training/teaching given to me about it.    I’m kind of glad I haven’t had formal training.  I have to wonder if that’s why it’s going the way it has? I feel like sometimes when we have formal training about things of this nature we can get kind of narrow minded about it.  In places I used to be narrow minded about religion/spirituality, this system has opened me up to new thoughts and patterns.

I think a basic foundation that is important with this whole process is learning the alphabet, learning to read, learning how to count/do basic math and for me personally, I have explored the Bible and other spiritual writings by various authors of various walks of faith and spirituality.     

all/fame = 25

God/dog/card/game/lie/eat/ate/bear/tea = 26

feel/read/man = 28

due/baby/peace/Bible/day/make/date = 30

agenda, life, again = 32

halo/child/hair/bite/heard = 36

garbage/sail/alien/cow/fuck/help/blind/awake/key = 41  (yes, I included THAT word)

anger/milk/bath/bridge/denial/leader/cheese/cool = 45

blonde/earth/seeds/caring/speak/what/thaw/hobby = 52

sun/love/play/voice/eyes = 54

horn/warm/cloud/satan/move/higher/wire = 55

drive/star/feeling/fragile/glass/Father/lunch/night/asleep/bedtime/illegal/reading = 58

color/carpet/traffic/skill/divine = 63

music/white/broken/backyard/poker/cleaning/random/alphabet = 65

woman/beasts/family/happy/walks/twin/freedom/relics = 66

ways/house/waste/right/married/sweat/war dog/key code/planet = 68

animals/people/husband/slow/wealth/fatigue/message = 69

machines/quiet/money/singer/discord/charisma/marriage/school/stuff/boredom/crochet/world = 72

clouds/energy/nuclear/Jesus/Lucifer/trauma = 74

feelings/power/Christ/things/glory/teapot/store/forbidden/wearing/temper = 77

nature/listen/remember/zones/watches/mother/should/relocate/super/disobey/ground/loving/murder/your/bribery/addiction = 79

filthy/behavior/rebirth/plastic/empathy/gullible/handyman/letter/short/fighting/laptop/learning = 80

wanting/allergies/ghosts/policeman/exercise = 88

courier/insects/memory/religion/location/disappear/anatomy = 89

thirteen/egocentric/judgement/fortune/tradesmen/sickness/answers/open minded = 99

estrogen/suspect/expecting/counting = 103

conscious/unfaithful/negative image/witnessed = 118

counseling/sympathy/mentality/expensive= 119

courageous/surprise/examination/super girl/mystery/previous/”I don’t know”/resistant/solution/spiritual = 125

copper wire = 128

commandments/information/combinations = 134

energy exchange = 141

understanding/communication/fifty states/uncertainty/divine planning/positive image = 150

comprehension/copper tools = 154

critical thinking = 167

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gematria

Gematria /ɡəˈmtriə/ (Hebrew: .mw-parser-output .script-hebrew,.mw-parser-output .script-Hebr{font-size:1.15em;font-family:”Ezra SIL”,”Ezra SIL SR”,”Keter Aram Tsova”,”Taamey Ashkenaz”,”Taamey David CLM”,”Taamey Frank CLM”,”Frank Ruehl CLM”,”Keter YG”,”Shofar”,”David CLM”,”Hadasim CLM”,”Simple CLM”,”Nachlieli”,”SBL BibLit”,”SBL Hebrew”,Cardo,Alef,”Noto Serif Hebrew”,”Noto Sans Hebrew”,”David Libre”,David,”Times New Roman”,Gisha,Arial,FreeSerif,FreeSans} גמטריא or גימטריה, plural גמטראות or גמטריאות, gematriot)[1] is an alphanumeric code of assigning a numerical value to a name, word or phrase based on its letters. People who practice gematria believe that words with identical numerical values may bear some relation to each other or to the number itself. A single word can yield multiple values depending on the cipher used.

Gematria originated as an Assyro-Babylonian-Greek system of alphanumeric code or cipher that was later adopted into Jewish culture. Similar systems have been used in other languages and cultures: earlier, the Greek isopsephy, and later, derived from or inspired by Hebrew gematria, Arabic abjad numerals, and English gematria.

A well-known example of Hebrew gematria is the word chai (“alive”), which is composed of two letters that (using the assignments in the Mispar gadol table shown below) add up to 18. This has made 18 a “lucky number” among the Jewish people. Gifts of money in multiples of 18 are very popular.[2]

1 June 2019 Repost: Two halves of the one whole – Nikola Tesla and Wilhelm Reich

Hello to you visitor.  I am reposting this from my personal archives because it feels like a good time to do it – for myself.  Some of what is here has evolved and changed in my mind, body and spirit these past few years but much is the same.  During the past couple of years I have allowed the events of the world, both near and far, to taint my heart….to taint my spirit and faith in my fellow human beings.  I have become a very bitter, distrustful person – extremely suspicious person that questions the motives and activities of the very fabric of our existence.  I don’t think I am alone.  What I am having to keep coming back to is my love for the God of my understanding who lets me yet live no matter how flawed a person I have been or am yet today.  I don’t know if there is anything here for you but chances are if you are here to see it, to read it, to try and understand it, perhaps you are in the right place.  This is my intention.  When this came to me I wrote it all down and have those notes still.  I will spare you the trouble of pictures and my scribble to read.  If you are like me, sometimes is difficult to read online documents for extended periods of time.  Feel free to come back, to take a break.  I will try to refrain from deleting this again.  I have a nasty habit of doing that….I lose faith in myself.

we are all on a quest called life” in the English Ordinal system equals 258/15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by two equals 1.5 = 6….. or 3 cycle

two five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 149 – one engages with their brain on a “no” path or “nein” in German

one four nine” in the English Ordinal system equals 136 – one engaged in a “yes, no may be” process, all the “vices” in check but one

one three six” in the English Ordinal system equals 142 – one engaged with their brain in the process

one four two” in the English Ordinal system equals 152 – one engaged with the sensation of the five senses in the process

(“earth” in the English Ordinal system equals 52) – our home

*note – these two influential men are just a portion of those who have influenced and taught me much I have needed to know about this life.  I believe everyone, no matter their form,  is both teacher and student in this life.

24 March 2015

Two halves of one whole – Nikola Tesla and Wilhelm Reich

This morning I had another “Aha” but this time it was the biggest yet.  I mentioned in a recent blog that I had begun exploring the making of orgonite.  Well in my research of the founder of Orgone, Wilhem Reich, I realized this was familiar.  Many years ago I remember reading or hearing about a “rain maker.”  A man who went to drought stricken towns and with a device “made it rain.”  He had been denounced and pretty much labeled a quack so he slipped out of my consciousness but I always wondered after learning about him if we could control the weather.  I never knew his name…until now.

So I’ve made a couple pieces of my own orgonite and before reading more about Wilhelm’s origin story had wondered if orgonite could be used to help with mental health therapy…low and behold he thought so too and did a lot of research and experiments to prove it!  I wanted to learn more and this morning watched a video on You tube from the Wilhelm Reich Infant Trust.  It’s a short, 3 part documentary called “Man’s Right to Know” detailing Reich’s life and research.  It hit me pretty hard that what happened to him is almost verbatim to what happened to Tesla!

“Man’s right to know, to learn, to inquire, to investigate human emotions must, by all means be safe if the word Freedom should ever be more than an empty political slogan.” Reich’s response to Complaint for Injunction

So I’m going to share with you here how two halves of my crude learning and discovery have come together.  Contrary to past posts, I’m not editing this from my scrap paper scrawl.  I am not a scientist or particularly learned individual…my school has primarily been life.  My Dad has told me that is what life is….”Life is school; we are never out of school.”

Some of what I write here may seem extreme and hard to digest…comprehend.  If you find this conflict within yourself as you try to read this, I say I may not be your messenger.  You must seek your messenger elsewhere but this message to you must be received.

Revelation, 24 March 2015/7:12 am

Reich’s work is tangible evidence to show why what we put in our bodies is largely responsible for our “energetic manifestation of reality…our bodies.”  Ingesting too much “dead” organic matter or an imbalance of it with “living” organic matter actually kills the living organisms within us.  Must have balance of dead and living ingestion to have healthy body.  Must have regular exercise and “sexercise” to discharge excess atmospheric energy our bodies are exposed to by people, animals, plants, insects, physical structures man-made and natural like rocks and minerals.  This is why after sex, especially after exercise (specifically outdoors) and chores I feel better!  If I don’t discharge energy, I feel angry, restless, and moody, depressed, overeat, seek “comfort” in shopping, entertainment etc.

Because I, and other “highly sensitive” people; Empaths, ingest much more atmospheric energy, we must use powerful, frequent discharge/detox techniques to balance or “ground” ourselves.  We are tiny “mini-me’s” of Mother Earth.  What happens with her weather systems and climate is her technique for discharge/release of excess energy i.e. storms with a lot of lightening, hurricanes, typhoons, tornados earthquakes.  (to add here I would say it is also in these things and floods, heat waves, drought and other extremes she is doing things we do to try and heal ourselves and express emotion just on a much larger scale!).

Nikola Tesla studied energy, discovered “everything is energy” but on another level than Reich.  Tesla was metallic, Reich organic as an analogy.  I now have the two halves of the equation which leads me to comprehension of my abilities, interest, path of discovery and experimentation on a very crude, personal scale….my observation and experience not in a lab, in my life and the lives I encounter and catalyze.  As Reich said of those who sought to destroy, discredit, erase, and “blot out” his research, his existence and the validity and value of his work and of its existence….”I do not like it, I don’t want it, I fear it (I will destroy it – my add here.)” He said, “It’s in their structure, it’s in their blood” (kind of like Jesus supposedly said of those who crucified him, “Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.”)

I have it in my structure, my blood to be the polar opposite!  Reich, Tesla were my brothers of blood.  Our ancestry and origins of our structure and blood from the same regions of the world.  Further in my blood, 1%…Jesus…Jew….rebellion, free thinking, discovery, true understanding and the quest for proof, further understanding and learning.  These two men, all of the other men and women whose life’s work were for the betterment of the common people..one source…one purpose…unification of the “All.”  Peace amongst the “All “and the center source is understanding the Life Force, Universal consciousness, God, the one energy that connects us all.

We all come from, return to, come back to from the one source – an “energy eco-system.”

So to a degree the religions do have it kind of correct.  The way they have gone wrong is trying to control how this one force is received and processed by each living creature.  This is why one person may hear a message at church, work, home, in society and it will either “resonate” and promote action or it won’t.

Very early on a thing Ken (my ex-husband) pointed out in frustration was how he’d tell me something important like “No one can make you feel anything” and it wasn’t until I heard someone else say it would it “resonate”, make sense to me, help me comprehend it and act on this knowledge in my life.  This is why I say often, “Every message has an intended receiver.  What my message is may not be the tone, flavor etc. for my intended recipient.  They will have to hear my message through someone else but it will be delivered!”  So this is why we must have tolerance in all structures of civilization.  There is one Life Force but there are infinite delivery systems (messengers) and conductors of this one force.

To restrict these delivery systems (messengers) and conductors to one acceptable receiving system only..one channel…obstructs the Life force for each individual.  This is why there is no “right” or “wrong” way of thinking or doing (I will add it is this way of constructing society that is responsible for our current dysfunction) only different; perfectly valid.  This is called perception.  We are biologically incapable of all perceiving reality the same way and for any religious, political, organizational entity to demand only one, acceptable (permissible) perception is an abomination against the Life Force… God.

Our thoughts and deeds are energetic manifestations and forces to shape our shared reality.  Right now religious, political, organizational powers who choose to manifest and use money energy oppress and control those “beneath” them in class and station are going against the Life Force, against God.  They have been doing so throughout human history, it’s “in their structures, in their blood” as Reich said. Their entire existence, conscious and unconscious, is about controlling what they fear, “They don’t like us, don’t want us, fear us” but unfortunately (ironically) for them, they need us to continue to exist how they do.  Without our labor, our children, our thoughts, our ideas, our bodies/blood to shed on battlefields for their causes, our weaknesses that they exploit with money energy to support their lifestyles they will cease to exist.

When we give our “will” (what we buy, where we work, what we think, how we vote, how we learn, what we eat, how we carry out our daily lives) to them and their chosen money energy agendas..we give away the piece of Life Force/God that exists in all living things, which Reich in his research tangible showed and proved existed to us, to those who use the Life Force for their selfish and self-serving intent.

Their activities are an offense to the ultimate source.  As history has repeatedly shown, “These shall not stand.”

No human being can stop the will of the one source.  They obviously do not believe, understand or are in arrogant defiance of this truth.  Do they think by controlling reproduction and any facet of the will of people, plants, and animals there are no consequences?  Do not these times show us the consequence of their structural design? (Flawed design).  Specifically what comes to mind is abortion.  I do not like it but think it’s between the woman and God.  The church fears aborting a child will kill the second coming of Christ but I say to this – do you really think aborting a child would prevent God’s coming? Do they now see the parade through time of the second coming?  God’s chosen?  Some newly born and some very late in life to serve God’s will.  No one can stop the will, the message, and the purpose of the Life Force…of God.  The message will be delivered and received by those intended…if they are unsuccessful…there will be another.  There is no “one” second coming or savior.  We all, every living creature born each day is Gods arrival. (To add – in each vessel is the potential for the message to be delivered and received…acted upon.)

Those in power to use the Life Force to kill, maim, oppress, manipulate, deceive, torture, abuse, neglect, libel and steal will suffer the consequences of their activities.

Our individual piece of the Life Force amplifies, distorts or diminishes the consequences felt by them AND by us.

Our thoughts are energy.  What we focus on, put our emotional and thought energy on and subsequently act on expands…it grows…it manifests reality.  When we focus on what’s wrong, what we don’t like, don’t want, fear…we are creating more of it…giving it our personal power…Life Force…feeding it.  “Mind your thoughts” and “Be careful what you wish for, surely you will get it” are phrases we know and say without understanding the truth in them.

As a more than 1% of the population we must reclaim our personal pieces of the Life Force and channel our for we want in the world…how we want to change the world.  We must simplify, unify, choose tangible contact with people, places, nature and things vs the distractions used to control us (technology)…placate us.  We already know what is wrong, the point has been made long ago, we must now focus on what we need to do to make it right….restore balance to us and in turn the Earth.

https://nikolateslamuseum.org/en/ – link to the museum dedicated to sharing the works of “Nikki” as I fondly call him lol.

Here is a link to a three part video that could give you some personal insight into why I admire the work of Dr. Reich:

http://wilhelmreichtrust.org/ – website to learn more about him if you are interested

23 May 2019 Forgiveness

Forgiveness – https://www.ridingthebeast.com/gematria-calculator/

My interpretation through this system of what forgiveness is.  It is a process within the two sides of ourselves to determine if we will let the harm someone else has caused us be set aside or whether or not we will hold on to it.  Sometimes, for me, it seems like I’ve let something go from the past but something in the present can trigger an old wound.  This has been happening to me recently in my own life.  There are a lot of “broken pieces” in my house as evidence.  I glued some of them together yesterday and made some art out it like I’ve done in the past and posted here.

I deleted all my previous posts because sometimes, without meaning to, you can hurt people with things you write.

Not many people understand this system that came to me around February of last year…..trust issues.  Gematria has been around a long time but the way I interpret it isn’t the same as other people do it.  To consider both the light and shadow aspects of ourselves.  I am split in two in most any way you can be, so this makes sense to me and may make sense to others like me.  This message is for you then.  I feel like God gave me this as a life preserver to try and help me get a grasp on reality.  It is my duty to pass it on….for free.  It doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to the God of my understanding.

Forgiveness” in the English Ordinal system equals 139/13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 (light and shadow of ourselves) = 6.5 = 11/2/1 or 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10/1 or 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  *My name, Jackie, is 39.   To look at this number is one person in a “yes, no, may be” situation and nine for me is nein, nein in German is No.

one three nine” in the English Ordinal system equals 132 – one person in a “yes, no may be” situation yet and now they are in the process of deciding what they will do between the two sides of themselves.

one three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 148 – one person engaged now with their brain, brain is 44 in the numbers in the racetrack or seeming infinity process that is life.

one four eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 143 – one person engaged yet with their brain in the “yes, no, may be” process of forgiveness.

one four three” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – one person engaged in the five senses, the “sensation” of the unknown aspects of forgiveness.  What will happen if they forgive?  This number is also fifty states and communication in the numbers.

one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140 – one person engaged with their brain in the unknown aspects of forgiveness.

one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158 – one person engaged in the five senses, the “sensation” while living on the racetrack or seeming infinity that is life.  The number eight is the infinity symbol if you draw it.

one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 – one person engaged in the process of forgiveness and the five senses, the “sensation” and or feeling of what it is like to forgive.

one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – one person engaged in the “yes, no, may be” aspect along with their brain….”shall I continue?”

one three four” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – one person engaged in the five senses again, the “sensation” of forgiveness and their are many unknown aspects….variables they can’t control.  It is a cycle.   I forgive but seldom can forget which can be difficult for people who would like to forget the past and I remind them of it.

23 May 2019 – Recently I have broken a lot of things in the house to include things that were gifts from other people. For some reason I have been very angry which isn’t like me. Yesterday I used my hot glue gun Kyle got in his welding classes and gave to me to make some art of the broken pieces.
22 May 2019 Jackie hot glue gun art from broken pieces of cookie jar statue and angel chimes