31 January 2020 – Living alone together

Hello to you.  It’s been awhile since I posted anything.  I am currently going through some challenging times in my life and haven’t been feeling like doing much.  I hope something in what I will share here will help you if you find yourself visiting my blog today.

What I am currently facing is something similar to what I went through in my previous marriage.  The experience of living with someone but feeling like you are just sharing a space but not truly connected like you once were.  I call it, living alone together.  It’s not a condition I want to exist but it currently does.

I am the sort of person who can get carried away into many different directions at once and find it difficult to be in the present moment all the time.  To be in a healthy relationship with someone, I think you have to communicate and sometimes even that breaks down.  For my husband and I, we have had the same conversations so many times, our own personal echo chamber if you will.  After a time, things just get stale.  We used to share a lot of the same interests but over time, things have changed for both of us.  I think this world has changed and not necessarily for the better.

I am currently trying to find a way to navigate through my current circumstances and maintain a positive attitude.  I have been writing letters, writing in a journal, taking pictures, cleaning and organizing the house, doing yard work, going for walks, doing crafts, trying to eat better and get enough sleep, trying to communicate more with loved ones as coping mechanisms. Our two dogs are affected by what is going on as much as we are.  I think it must be very confusing to them.

I ran a couple of words-numbers phrases in line with this topic.  As I have mentioned before in previous posts,  I want to emphasize my interpretation of these numbers isn’t the only interpretation.  You may see something else.  You may be experiencing something else.  It’s interesting to me to see the patterns.  May be for your own experience there are other things you would add:

https://www.ridingthebeast.com/gematria-calculator/ (online calculator I use for this but I have a personal offline system also)

Energy fields emitted from a life form = 342 174/159/118/117/133/146

(one = 34, self= 42)

resonance = 94 102/156/128/141/128/141……

(why=56 141=energy exchange 28=man)

fluctuating energy levels in the types of energy consumed=575 149/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134…..

(human=57 spiral/eternal=75 way/cause=49 child=36 self=42 earth=52 one=34 animal/easy/fight/Joy/role=50 food=40 all=25)

a balanced energy diet = 155 118/117/133/146

(shared/wages=55 true love/modification/scent glands/wonderful/concentrate=118 I’m sorry/nurture/humility/upbringing=117 temptation/community/don’t give up = 133 (the=33) people matter/brain function/peace for the brain = 146 (body=46)

metabolism = 109/140

“to have a healthy metabolism” = 260 174/159/118/117/133/146

(energy=74 five = 42 nine= 42 self=42 (the five senses of the body and nine (nein) or no self)

living alone = 120 156/128/141/128/141…..

living by yourself = 221 150/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125

(understanding/communication/fifty states/uncertainty/divine planning/possession = 150 feeling=58)

living with someone you are married to but feeling alone = 555 126/144/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134……

(God/dog/game = 26 brain/faith=44 sun/love/play/voice=54 child=36 self=42)

alone = 152

together = 98 91/76/117/133/146

(spirit=91 sharing/fiction/divorce/revenge/humans/master/species/draining/contact/example/crying/mixing/concept/losing/a cat’s life = 76)

positive attitude = 215/134

negative attitude = 183 139/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150……..

(positive = 115 negative=83 attitude=100 culture=100)

5 thoughts on “31 January 2020 – Living alone together

    1. Yeah it expired 21 days ago. My husband and I are currently dealing with some things and I’m not sure if I should renew this. I am hesitant to make any new expenses right now. I guess they changed things so you only get a year free now. Thanks for saying hello. Hopefully this comment will reach you.

    2. I chose to renew – $18 isn’t too bad for the length of time for the service. I don’t do much outside of the home and writing is a helpful tool to deal with things I think. Hope you are all doing well.

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