21 August 2020 Getting Through Today

Hello to you, how are you?  I am living in a surreal world right now with the fires.  This morning while I was cutting the grass the sun was red!  So weird!  I didn’t take a picture of it but I’m sure somebody somewhere did!

Getting Through The Day” in the English Ordinal system equals 242 (light and shadow process for the brain to process light and shadow)

cat ” in the English Ordinal system equals 24

 self” in the English Ordinal system equals 42

brain” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

As I sit here it has been hard to come up with something to write about.  My writing a blog is part of how I get through my day  and sometimes there are only a few words to say.  So much of my life I have had to discard because of what happened during my last episode.  So I am having to sift through the wreckage and retrieve what is worth retrieving.  My dear friend calls it reclaiming my life and it’s a slow process.

What of my life do I seek to realistically reclaim?

to reclaim a life” in the English Ordinal system equals 129 (one light and shadow process with “no” process)

There is a lot of my life I am afraid to try to reclaim, a lot of  the “no” process wrapped up in it.

It never ceases to amaze me how the number values reflect a truth that cannot come from a common definition or way of defining something by itself.

 

 

 

 

6 August 2020 Resistance

Hello to you.  How are you?  I hope you are well.  The word that came up today is resistance.  I have been resisting some things because a part of me doesn’t want to believe this is my life now the way that it is.

resistance” in the English Ordinal system equals 113 and look at that it’s a 13 in there!  I was born on 13 February!

The biggest thing I have been resisting is the fact, and it is a fact, that I am a not a guest here in Idaho and I’m not going back to Texas.  It’s simply my reality now.  My stuff is in a storage unit here and the rest of my belongings to include Link are with me here in Idaho.   I’m not going back. I really can’t go back.  Once the house is sold that’s it for me and Texas.  There are so many memories to overlay with new memories.

I can tell when I am resisting because I get hot flashes and also feel like I am being split into two parts.  I don’t want to keep feeling this way so I have redirect my thoughts to the present moment.

Does any of this resonate with someone else?  I hope that some or all of what I’m sharing helps someone else as much as it helps me to write about it.