3 Dec 2024 Change

December 4, 2024 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, photography, space, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today has been uneventful. I am feeling a little better after catching another cold. There was talk about something happening today with regard to space people but of course nothing happened! I am thinking something is brewing with the increase in sightings. I am thinking it has to do with the increasing unrest going on in the world – Sabre rattling about using nukes. If I was a space person watching all of what’s going on I think I would want to intervene too!

My answer to today’s prompt is if I could change one thing about myself I would not be Bipolar. Having this diagnosis has really limited me in so many ways. I have lost two marriages and many friendships and relationships with family. I lost a career because of this condition. The only good thing to ever come of being Bipolar was the wellspring of energy and creativity during the times I was manic. I would hardly sleep and my creative abilities seemed endless. I could draw, paint, sing, write, take awesome photos, dance, tap into the spiritual realms – all of this with little to no effort. Having the mania under control with the medication I’m on – Depakote- I can’t do much of anything anymore. This blog is my only outlet! In addition to Bipolar I have the Mal de barque syndrome where I have trouble with balance. I’m convinced it was triggered by my being tased by police when I was having a manic episode two years ago. It just won’t go away! So I guess there are actually two things I wish I could change!

Since I cannot change what I am, I have to push through with it all. I have to force myself to move forward even if I don’t want to. I pray a lot and ask for healing. I am trying to say yes more often when I would usually say no. One of the side affects of Depakote is weight gain and not feeling full after eating. With the balance challenges it’s hard to exercise to get rid of calories but I force myself to get a walk in with Link each day. I’m trying to lower my calorie count too. I am trying to say no more often to eating sweets which is my favorite type of food! Not all of what I am can be blamed on being Bipolar! I wish I could get back to size 16 jeans again. Obesity runs in my Dads side of the family so my genetics are kind of stacked against me along with my diagnosis.

Some scripture about change:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot”.
Isaiah 43:18-19“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”.
Psalm 30:5“Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”.
Romans 8:28“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”.
2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”.
Hebrews 13:8“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”.
Malachi 3:6“I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed”.
James 1:17“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”.
Ephesians 4:22-24“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”.

20 October 2023 Lazy Days

October 21, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. God has been at the wheel of the stuff I’ve been going through lately – extremely grateful for the prayers of family, friends and even strangers! My Aunt met a elderly veteran who gave her this cross for me and said he would pray for me. The wagons of Gods people have been rallied! I’m so, so grateful!

I don’t usually wear crosses because of what they represent – the murder of an innocent man but understand what it means in Christianity.

When I think of todays prompt I think of my life right now gradually getting in place. It’s taken me three years to get where I’m at. Many of the days leading up to this one were littered with fear, sadness and grief – lack of faith! A lot of my days have not very productive and could be perceived as lazy days. I was in such a state of shock leaving Texas. I have been retired from active duty longer than I was in (21 years). When I was active duty I burned the candle at both ends. I was usually the one leadership turned to when a program was a mess. I worked a lot of long days cleaning up messes. Lazy days meant more to me then they do now. I don’t have a specific purpose when I wake up each day! When I was active duty I was up at 4:30 am and worked til after 5.

I haven’t completely found a fit for me here yet in being useful again. A lot of what holds me back is driving. I hate driving! When I was married, Kyle used to always drive and I got used to that after 12 years! I was spoiled! I keep my eyes open for things I can do – little things. When my back is not hurting I would like to help set up at the church again. I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting the gift of my life. A lot of people I’ve known haven’t even lived as long as I have.

One of my favorite passages from the Bible – makes me think of a Palladian (class I played in FFXI video game). In these trying times we must put on our armor!

Ephesians 6:10-13New International Version

The Armor of God

¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

5 October 2023 Prayer

October 5, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you today. How are you? This morning was our prayer group and we had five of us. We each brought forth our own prayer needs and the needs of those within and outside of our church. There is power in prayer! We hope to speak positive energies into what seems like attacks on members of the church. A lot of people are struggling with sickness and mourning loss of friends and family members. It’s possible to make a foothold for the enemy in resentment and the lower energy vibrations of grief and sorrow.

Psalm 30:5New International Version

⁵For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

13 July 2023 Bedtime

July 13, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

Hello to you. I’m just back from Grace House where we have a prayer meeting each Thursday at 9:30 am. Today it was Lois, Brie and me. We are hoping that may be this fall our group will grow some. I walked over and back. My lower back wasn’t happy but the prayers helped. I have been having some vertigo/swaying spells the past couple of days. I hope this isn’t a side effect of the new medication I’m on! We prayed for my Aunt and Dad too. Just found out my Aunt is having shoulder surgery later this month.

So bedtime and getting up are something I’ve been having to work on. I try to start going to bed at 9 pm and I usually wake up around 8-9 am. It takes me a long time to fall asleep and I don’t like getting out of bed right away. I think the reason I have trouble falling asleep has to do with being on screens before bed time. Last night I didn’t have anything on after lights out and I don’t remember falling asleep! Just takes good practice and consistency I think.

Today was good because I needed to be up early to go to the prayer meeting. It’s good to have a reason to get up and have something to look forward to.

Psalm 4:8New International Version

⁸In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety.

4 May 2023 Quote

May 4, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

Hello to you. Just back from a short walk with Link. Today began with a nice prayer meeting at Grace House. It was three of us and very productive. A focus was given to the recent deaths associated with Middleton to include two suicides and we also focused on a future home for our church. Lois had a good idea about rather than building new churches that like Christian churches share facilities. Pastor Jason’s idea was like have Church Middleton with different campuses. So much money gets used up for buildings and then there is less left over for ministries to help people. Another point of emphasis was more volunteers to help with different parts of the church. It’s usually the same people who do most of the heavy lifting! I wish I could do more but I just can’t – physically mostly. I get so tired. I walked over there and back and felt so sore. My back hasn’t been right since the fall this winter.

Todays prompt is about a quote I think of and live by often. I have several. One is lead by example and another is where you go there you are. I feel it’s important to be a positive example in the world – action speaks louder than words. These past couple of years have been hard for me because I don’t feel like I have done enough. I haven’t been a very good example. The family and friends that surround me are great at leading by example. I just haven’t had the energy to be the leader I used to be. So I am doing what I can. Being a part of the prayer team is a little something I am able to do.

The other quote or saying kind of ties with the first. You can’t escape yourself – where you go there you are. Just because you move to a new location doesn’t mean your not the same you in the new location. You bring you along to the new place. Since moving here from Texas I did that. There have been some changes but those changes have been to my health. This Mal debarque Syndrome makes me so tired. I didn’t have the swaying motion in my head when I walked in Texas.

Matthew 18:20New International Version

²⁰For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Some sights on my walk yesterday and back from the prayer meeting this morning

13 April 2023 Prayer Meeting

April 13, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well! This morning I decided to join others from church for a prayer meeting. They had only expected four people and my going made five! One of the things we prayed for I’ve had on my heart for quite some time and that’s a permanent home for our church. As it stands right now, each Saturday volunteers have to set up for Sunday at a school gym here in town. After service they have to pack everything up. It’s very labor intensive. God will make a way for us I hope.

One of the unspoken obstacles we are facing as a Christian church is we are trying to operate in a predominately Mormon town. Everything will work out I hope!

Matthew 6:5-15

Prayer

⁵“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ⁶But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.⁷And when you pray, do not keep on babblinglike pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you needbefore you ask him.

⁹“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹Give us today our daily bread.
¹²And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³And lead us not into temptation,^[a]
but deliver us from the evil one.^[b]’¹⁴For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

12 December 2022 Belief

December 12, 2022December 12, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you . How are you today? My thoughts turn to belief today. I want to believe in the healing power of God over what I’ve got going on physically and psychologically. I want to believe God is healing me and restoring me to my self. Half of the battle in healing is just that I think. People can pray for us but if we don’t believe the change can’t occur.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers of support – I believe they are helping!

28 July 2022 A Personal Relationship

July 27, 2022 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, dreams, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Michael's Burleson TX, Money, Movies, Music, Native American Culture, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Short stories, Social media, space, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Television, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

For a long time , most of my life, I have loved God. As I have matured and learned so much about matters of organic energy and matters of the spirit I have learned through personal experience how important it is to have s personal relationship. A relationship no one outside of myself can define. No book or written word. Sometimes just the sound of aspen leaves blowing in the wind. Always present. Recently I made a choice I had been straddling the fence about for many years. I decided to surrender my soul to Jesus Christ….not in the book but the one I have come to know through a personal relationship. In the sky, God and the Earth my mother…our shared mother and once they made a son. I don’t believe he left such is not the way of this system as I understand it. Too many words. Human beings trying to make sense of things as they had understanding at the time. Words of the time that have changed in ours. So many translations. So many individual perceptions. We are in the one circle. Sometimes mythology is our only comfort in times of great loss and confusion.

“Two halves of one whole.”

https://youtu.be/xFtgj2m_Mk4 – Control Mind in a box

6 July 2022 God Doesn’t Make Junk!

July 6, 2022 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, books, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Music, Nature, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

A message from A Woman’s Spirit today. I want to emphasize that as I share this I’m thinking of you men folk too! Everyone struggles at some degree with self-esteem and the God of our understanding, for me Jesus Christ, stands ready to help:

I always thought some people were just born with self- esteem and others not. The fact is, the people with self-esteem May have learned to develop it sooner than others, and now it’s my turn. -Laurel Lewis

One element of our growth is making new choices for ourselves. One of our choices is to have the self-esteem that is our right as a human being.

Some women may have never struggled with low self-esteem. Certainly, many women were born into families where unconditional love helped to develop the kind of self-esteem we crave. Yet with the help of this program and our Higher Power, we too will begin to feel a full measure of self-esteem.

Having self-esteem is really nothing more than beginning to understand and then accepting our worthiness in this vast panorama called life. We have always mattered to God and our fellow travelers, or we wouldn’t be here. It’s our beliefs that need to change-nothing more. We are worthy and loved children of God.

Self-esteem does not have to elude me today. My worth is guaranteed. God doesn’t make junk!

———————-

Matthew 13:44-46New International Version

The Parables of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl

⁴⁴“The kingdom of heaven is like^(A) treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.^(B)

⁴⁵“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like^(C) a merchant looking for fine pearls. ⁴⁶When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

https://finance.yahoo.com/amphtml/news/bill-gates-just-won-legal-171500255.html

Bill Gates made his fortune in tech, but he’s now betting big on something completely different: farmland.

Last week, Gates secured the legal approval for purchasing 2,100 acres of farmland from northeastern North Dakota potato growers Campbell Farms.

https://youtu.be/yT_3B3iwUZI – Live Healing: Heart Awakening Transmission (Mei-lan)

3 July 2022 Chasing Our Tails

July 3, 2022 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Frustrated with myself. Tried to fit into a pair of jeans I’ve had for so many years this morning and nope! Too bloated. There is a Dr. Guidry and others that say the culprit is probably leaky gut syndrome. I am trying to eat better but still taking in too much processed food that is heavy on salt. It’s hard when your living alone to want to cook for yourself and if you do, avoid having a lot of waste. I am working with God about this and my body. Our microme- gut bacteria gets trained up early on in our lives. I notice for myself, that my body likes to eat a lot of protein. Much of the protein I ate as a young person came from meat. I want to change that. I am seeking a protein that does for me what meat does without involving the suffering and death of food animals. I have explored stuff like Quinoa and coconut milk. God and I will figure this out!

Yesterday I was looking into water filter technology and there is a lot of innovation out there. The Achilles heal to much of it – what to do with what is filtered out of water. The byproduct of most filtration tech is dirty filters and stuff you have to figure out what to do with. Desalinization – brine. What O read is a lot of the byproduct gets put back where the water came from! This doesn’t make any sense. It’s like seeing no trash someplace and forgetting there is a landfill somewhere brimming over with trash! Out of sight out of mind. If I have water delivered to my house it’s still not solving the problem. How about working on putting less crap in our drinking water to begin with? Will there ever be a day we feel safe drinking from the tap? Kind of felt like I was chasing my tail yesterday about this issue and so many others. Fix one thing, answer one question and there is something else to consider. Thinking something, a decision, all the way through isn’t easy but necessary. Making hasty decisions oftentimes is a catalyst for more problems to arise. Some enjoy that – profiting from making problems and then making more money coming up with solutions. I call that profit from misery. If problems are preventable then we should work on that. Doing what is right isn’t easy always but it can be rewarding!