Hello to you. How are you today? I am writing to you from bed again. I think I overdid it the past couple days and my back and legs are not happy with me! A ruckus going on in my temple lol!
I had a new friend on Facebook express to me her love of the Bible and that she noticed I had been sharing Bible passage’s. She asked if I have a favorite passage and I said not really. I don’t have scripture committed to memory. Lately when I have questions about things I told her I look to see what the Bible says about my question. She thought that was an interesting way to study scripture. My question yesterday was about bees. I looked at a few different passages and this one stood out as my day had included seeing both flies and bees:
There is a lot more to this passage
Yesterday was kind of magical for me. During the morning walk we stopped to visit with one of my favorite trees. As I stood there I saw thousands of bees working! I thought no wonder the energy from this tree is so happy! They have lots of friends! I tell you the most amazing thing was hearing a tree literally humming because there were so many bees. This picture I took shows the sun with a halo that makes the sun look like an eye to me…looking to see this lovely being. A healthy and happy tree filled with life:
Even the sun paying a visit to this humming tree
Do you remember me mentioning I had asked God for orange flowers? Yesterday there were orange flowers growing by a part of the canal I like to visit! Some California poppies! I don’t have a telephoto lense so couldn’t really zoom in but you can still see them:
Knowing God I will begin to see orange flowers wherever they are hiding!
Here are other moments from walking yesterday:
Link was too hot and didn’t seem interested on exploring so I headed out on my own Bees bees everywhere wonderful bees! I gave them thanks for their hard work! Little gardeners making the world I see so beautiful I love what sunlight does – deep oranges in this trees leaves are illuminated I noticed this little grove by the water. They weren’t budding leaves yet which I thought was kind of odd. Green flowers I had to take a moment to visit with this amazing being resting on the leaves of a plant I had never seen before. Love jumping spiders! This was over at Tsai’s Kitchen our Chinese food restaurant down the street from me A wasp taking a moment. I notice these guys take care of trees like oak and pine. I haven’t seen them with the flowering trees. I think this is a California poppy too! Orange! This was supposed to be the last picture and then….I have never seen one of these guys before! I think it’s either a swamp rat or nutria. From what I read when I was looking it up on the internet they aren’t very well liked. Considered an invasive species. Sigh.
Hello to you. How are you today? I’m writing to you from my bed. My lower body is still not happy with me. Mornings are the toughest part of the day but through the course of the day things loosen and warm up. Yesterday was a really good day. The gravel install went really well and the men did a wonderful job. I’m so grateful to them. Such hard working people that I could even hear whistling as they worked! Doing that kind of work has to take a toll on the body. I prayed for them and their bodies.
This will make things a lot easier for me! My neighbors thought the crew did a great job too. My neighbor works 40-60 hrs a week and has a child. She doesn’t have much free time or energy for yard maintenance. She’s thinking about having these guys fix her yard too. With drought conditions also it’s a good move. These words really resonated thinking specifically about the men working here yesterday and others I see splashed over headlines. Generated a question as I observe much of the world and what it’s going through – who do you work for? Who is your boss? Ultimately who do you answer to with the work and other things you do? For me, God is my boss. God gets the glory not me.
Yesterday my cousin and I got a chance to talk on the phone and she mentioned my other cousins husbands mom had a stroke. My cousin and I are about the same age (50’s) and we are noticing that there is a whole generation of people, for us in their 70’s that are going through a lot of “body stuff” all at once. I felt sad when I heard about Naomi Judd and her battle with and ultimately succumbing to mental health issues. She was in her 70’s. I know from my own journey that mental health can be a potentially fatal condition. Suicide being the big part of it. What happens with our mind affects our entire existence. What I see in the news about all this doesn’t talk about what I see in the dis-eases of the mind and body. For all the proclamations of faith we are a very sick country spiritually. You can’t put tangibles…things of a material world in the soul. That space is just for God. All the pills, self help modalities, treatments and spa days in the world aren’t going to help a broken soul. This is what I have had to learn and relearn for most of my life.
Millions of Americans struggled with their mental health well before COVID-19, but the pandemic hasn’t made shouldering mental illness any easier – an issue brought to light over the weekend after the death of country music star Naomi Judd.
Who is your boss? Do you even really know? When I was in the military I had a boss all the way to the President! A lot of different people telling me, ordering, what to do each day. Through all the voices, expectations and demands I had to understand that ultimately I answer to God. When all is said and done in this life no one here on earth is going to matter to you. Who are you allowing to feed your soul?
Time for a walk, Link and I have been going even if it hurts! We just go really slow!
Another princess….Purples I looked this up and I think it’s going to be an Iris! This place gives me a rest – love the running waterSo vibrant! Had to stop and admire this! One of these walks I’m going to remember to bring money so I can try food from this little food truck!Hello sun! Doesn’t the sun look huge lol?! These are shops when we take the longer walk – pizza, tanning and s laundromat This is a musician I spent time listening to yesterday – mentioned him here before – Astravert aka Justin Carter. I realized yesterday when he smiles he reminds me of my younger dad when he would smile and laugh! He’s back in Omaha Nebraska with his parents for a couple months to save money. Some times trying to live off of A Twitch salary is rough! Watch https://twitch.tv/astravert with me on Twitch! astravert
I was exploring yesterday. I had been hearing an instrument in some music lately and discovered it was the Tanpura! You can really sing with this instrument – so soothing! It’s a very distinctive sound in music from India:
Hello to you. How are you doing? I didn’t do a video for Twitch again today. It’s been about a week. I just haven’t felt up to it. It’s been hard to convince myself to get out of bed lately! I just hurt!
I was doing some surfing yesterday about joint pain and arthritis connected to having Covid. Turns out it’s indeed a thing! I’m really starting to believe what I’ve been going through is post Covid related stuff. Here is a link to one of the videos I found where a man and his wife have been experiencing joint pain after Covid: https://youtu.be/fyR9uJHCdKA – if you are experiencing inflammation and pain in your joints, like for me it’s my upper thighs and knees, this video might resonate with you. I am hoping it will eventually stop!
Despite the pain, I’ve been trying to get out for walks with Link. It’s so rewarding when I do! So much to see! There have been surprises lately too! This morning I looked down for just one minute and was amazed to see not one but two wild pansies in the edge of a yard we were passing! I struggled to get down to take the picture…..getting up made me curse gravity a bit lol….but it was worth it!
A lovely surprise for us today on the morning walk- a wild pansy!
Other pictures from yesterday and today:
The tulips are out here in Idaho – when I see them I think of my Mom. She used to grow flowers like tulips “You make me smile…”I noticed this yesterday in the shopping center on our walk This beauty caught my eye even with being surrounded by so many power linesPart of what makes each tree an individual is their bark – I love seeing trees in afternoon light This little one made me think of a cat we used to see all the time in Alvarado TX! Love the mustache! A blue version of the car I used to drive in Sr. High School! Mine was red. I’ll never forget Dad and I practicing stick shift in a parking lot lol! Ridleys is the grocery store I always go to. I told the cashier I was so grateful she was there (they seem a little short handed), that I was grateful to wake up to peace and quiet and that there was food in the store…..little things people in warring parts of the world aren’t experiencing today. We are so fortunate!
My day will be dark only if I shut out the light f my Higher Power. Through my faith and my friends I can know peace – A Woman’s Spirit
https://youtu.be/bFeNjMjk0dA – Toni Cornell singing Nothing Compares 2 U in honor of her Dad Chris. Her eyes are so sad to me. This was the first song Kyle and I listened to (the Sinead O’Conner version) after we said goodbye to our sweet dog Sam. It’s hard for me to listen to for that reason but I toughed it out to hear both Chris and now Toni’s interpretation of it. She did her Dad proud I think!
Trees have started budding hereI had to talk to God and myself this morning while feeling anxiety
Hello to you. How are you? Today began with one of those anxiety attacks I get once in awhile. I think it has to do with sleep apnea but I’m not sure. I just know I kind of freaked out. I had to pull out some tools from my sanity toolkit to get myself calmed down. I started with talking to God and went to the Bible to try and find comforting messages. I looked through so many chapters….the concordance for anxiety and comfort and just couldn’t find what I was looking for. It came to me to try the “Big Book” from Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically Step 3….made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I ended up making my Twitch Stream today mostly about this step. When I initially entered into the program this step was hard. My sponsor reassured me that it didn’t have to be just the God of the Bible that I turned my will….surrendered to. It had to be a power that wasn’t me. It was me that got me into the mess I was in. Chances were that it wasn’t going to be my own will that was going to get me free. I just had to acknowledge I was powerless over alcohol (among other things of an addictive nature), admit I had a problem and then, most importantly, be WILLING to ask for help….accept help the way it came. What I realized using this program is if you get to the core of why addiction happens there are fewer what’s. A lot of people I met in AA were self medicating – they had a lot of “why’s” they were covering up with alcohol. They needed therapy and either couldn’t get it or would rather have the stigma of being an alcoholic than the stigma that comes with mental illness. When I look at my own life with help and by myself, there were so many why’s to my addictions. I kept trying to fill voids in my life with people, places and things. Many of those voids were of an intangible nature. You can’t put tangible things in the space where only the intangible dwells.
The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today had to do with friendship. The power we learn through the program is we can choose better friends. Here is a thought provoking part of the message:
“We may not have picked our friends carefully in our youth. Many of us felt pressured to hang out with a crowd that didn’t share our values. We frequently lived up to their expectations of us rather than our own. The internal conflict was painful, and we may still suffer from it.”
My choice of friends today reflects the health of my recovery.
________
It’s pretty easy to tell who are true friends are in life. They are the ones who are still there for you and comfort you as you clean up the mess you’ve made. I consider many members of my family also as dear friends! When we are young it feels like we don’t have a great power of choosing – so much is chosen for us!
Speaking of friendship! Last night Astravert did a wonderful collaboration with some fellow musicians on Twitch:
Hello to you. How is your where and when as you visit me here? Hard to believe it’s Thursday already. The week has gone by fast.
This gift rock from my dear friend “T” brightens each day
Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit has to do with quieting the mind and meditation. Both of these things have been a challenge for me! I have always had a monkey mind and or chatter brain. However, when I was living in Texas I used to lay on my back for hours just connecting with the passing clouds or sit on the band stand we had and connect with the trees, flowers and insects. I guess it was like meditating! I do better outside when it comes to trying to still my body and mind. Inside there are so many distractions!
This morning I did something that I need to do more often and that is get quiet inside and focus my thoughts. It’s really hard for me to “hold a thought.” In particular my sinuses were kind of blocked up so I focused my thoughts to my sinus and told them to open up and or to clear…..it worked! I was able to breathe freely again. I then proceeded to focus on different parts of my body that have been hurting and was able to get relief there too. Then before my feet hit the ground to get up I just asked God to be with me today….”Hey God would you hang out with me today?”
Anyhew lol what I’m talking about here is a challenge in the kind of world we live in. I really struggle myself with this! If we are in a relationship of some kind, have kids, pets, a job, hobbies….things that keep us busy and distracted all day long, it can be really difficult to find time to just stop not only our bodies but our busy minds. Stop long enough to connect with our inner selves and our Higher Power. Be still…..some of us in this world are choosing and in many cases out of survival are having to stay busy every waking minute. We have to rest our bodies and our minds —- make space and time for our spiritual selves to exist. Like I said on my stream today if you are having trouble with having quiet time inside – why? What is keeping you from it and what can you do about it? If it’s a lot of things and you are overwhelmed what is one thing you can do to get peace inside? I have to do this myself – not focus on all the stuff I can’t change but focus on what I can. Kind of like what The Serenity Prayer talks about:
The Serenity Prayer is a prayer written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. It is commonly quoted as: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Messages from A Woman’s Spirit today:
“Today I will stop brooding – and start meditation.” – Nancy T
“I can figure out my next best move today if I quiet my mind long enough to receive God’s message.”
Hello there how are you? Today is my 54th birthday…..it still is a shock sometimes that I’m over 50! In a little while I’m meeting my Aunt for church which will be really nice. Later this afternoon my family is getting together to celebrate both my cousin and my birthday and watch football.
I wish today was completely happy but it’s not. I found out yesterday that not all is well with my parents right now. My Mom is having to have steroid injections for pain in her hips and my Dad has had a couple falls and he fractured his hip and will need surgery. I am feeling really powerless about it. This kind of stuff is what I’ve been talking about that happens and you have to choose how your going to deal with it. Shit is going to happen in this life in varying degrees and you have to go within and draw strength from your spirit to walk through it. There is no other way but through! I hate that my parents are having these health issues! They were supposed to be able to enjoy their retirement! I have to let God on this.
If you pray or meditate could you please think of my parents Larry and Dianne. Thank you!
“Our inner journey is a transformative process. It involves becoming who we already are in essence and letting go of the phony in favor of the authentic self.” (A Woman’s Spirit)
Hello to you. How are you? I’m up really early after another battle with sleep and anxiety. This too shall pass. It always does.
The eye appointment went well yesterday. I had them take a picture of my eyes and they are looking good. Just needed a tuneup for distance vision! I walked over to the clinic and back. There was another stream I passed with some really hardy ducks but they swam away too fast for me to get a picture of them.
Very cold water the ducks were swimming in
Not much planned for today other than talking to my therapist this morning and may be getting groceries. As I write to you I’m in bed with Link and a warm blanket. A part of me wants to try and go back to sleep. Do you ever feel like just hibernating until spring?
“Right now I am at peace. All the tremors and quakes that shake me will cease. In the loving presence of the Spirit I am surrounded with warmth and security. “
Good morning from here. How are you? I hope your feeling well today. I’m finally starting to feel better after almost 4 weeks. The Hydroxyzine has been helping to take the edge off of the anxiety that has been accompanying whatever I’ve been going through. Another thing I have been doing is live streaming on Twitch and that has been helpful. Sometimes interesting people show up to visit with.
A lot has been trying to enter into my space lately
In a bit I have an eye appointment hopefully everything will check out ok . It’s been a couple years since I have been in for an exam. What’s nice is the clinic is within walking distance which will be good for me!
“These days are rolling like thunder….pulling me up and pulling me under. I seek the level horizon a warmth I can feel. A safe warm place where I can heal.”
Hello to you. How are you? It’s Sunday again and the skies are gray again. It was nice to get a little relief yesterday! I’m not feeling 100% this morning. I keep feeling nauseous. I took some Pepto Bismal, some peppermint tea and a piece of bread and things have settled down. My Aunt and I were trying to decide if we should go to church this morning and decided against it. There is so much crud going around ! I just feel like whatever I had is still lingering!
We are just living in surreal times aren’t we?!!
Seeking comfort today
“Come spirit come my comforter in times of distress. Wrap your light and love around me that I might find rest.”
Hello to you. How are you? Well I’m nursing a cold and writing to you from bed. Link had a rough night he must of eaten something that didn’t agree with him because he was up several times in the night. I found poops everywhere! He seems to be ok now.
Yesterday I was kind of in a weird space. I am not used to being sick, I painted as a way to help me calm down.
Going to add some gold glitter later. I’m almost out of it!
Not my finest work but it helped me to do it. That’s all that matters right?!
To be 