16 June 2018 The World Goo, Authentic Self and Love

16 June 2018 – I’ve been wanting to draw these flowers a lot lately.

Hello to you.  How are you from wherever and whenever you are stopping to visit from?  I hope this finds you well in mind, body and spirit today.  We are doing well here.  Had a nice walk this morning.  Saw a neighbor out running that I hadn’t seen in awhile and had just been wondering how he was!  He never speaks to us, but as someone who used to run a lot, I understand he’s trying to get some time alone.  We went by one of the last work sites in the new development and heard the workers playfully bantering and being silly together.  It made me smile to hear them being so happy to be working.  Last night was free of the stuff that was going on last night but Kyle was up at 3 am instead!  Ugh!

The phrase “Be You” has been coming to me a lot lately.  Normally I embrace it as a positive creed but these days it occurs to me that phrase can ring hollow for most people.  Most people, to include myself at times, don’t even know what those two words together mean!  Be you?!  A nice phrase if you already have some idea of who you are or who you want to be!

In today’s world it is hard to separate yourself from all the worldly “goo” that tries to get into all your particles.  I have been here 50 years and that’s a lot of goo to be exposed to lol!  It’s almost a daily effort to sort myself….to keep from being overcome by the goo of life outside this house.  Unless you go completely “off the grid,”  and I mean all that’s modern in your house is a flushing toilet, there is no true escape!

What it means to “Be You” can sometimes mean a very lonely and isolated existence if you aren’t careful.   We have been living in the same place for nearly 9 years and have may be one person near us we can truly say is just beyond an acquaintance.

Something that helped me a lot in recent years was attending a couple of Level 1 Quantum Touch energy healing classes.  I learned that if you focus on what you love the most in life you can raise your energy vibration to heal yourself and to help others with healing (inside and out).

Have you ever felt that warm wash across your chest when you see someone you care about, doing something you truly enjoy, hearing a great message,  hold your significant other, dog, cat, or other special being in your life, hear a favorite song,  see a beautiful sight?  That’s what love energy feels like.  It can be a barometer for staying in “your center” or the space of your heart and help you navigate around the world goo.

Love energy is one way I have found that helps me stay true to myself, to know who I am.  When I am not feeling my heart energy then I know I have drifted away from my authentic self.

Quantum-Touch: The Power to Heal – I’ve experienced healing and shared this with others helping them heal.  It really works.  Usually, when I’ve shared this, the healing starts at the emotional/spiritual (inside) level first.    What I like most about this modality is Richard’s emphasis on who is the healer.  The healer is the person getting well! 

 

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.
Dalai Lama

 

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26 April 2018 Drawings and Balancer

Hello to you.  Just a quick note to share what I’ve been up to this morning.  I had some anxiety show up out of nowhere this morning and I’ve been having trouble shaking it.  I decided to do a drawing and that actually helped.  I’m thinking about making myself a bunch of cards that I can draw from each day to help cheer me up if I need it.  The last time I did personal cards, I sat down and worked on it for hours.  This time I’m just going to do them as I feel like it.  I have two done so far.  The second one was inspired by seeing a trailer for the new Avengers movie that is showing today.

We had a busy day yesterday.  We had to drive to Arlington to my doctor’s office which is always very stressful.  I decided to take along a couple of things for my doctor to try to help her out as it must be so stressful being her seeing people like me each day!  I had some pretty heavy stuff to share and felt really bad because at home I had been being pretty hard on her!  I wanted to somehow show her my appreciation for at least trying to listen to my concerns and trying to care about me.  I gave her an aluminum pendant I had made.  It had a rainbow bead on it with it to symbolize hope and I also gave her, what I’m calling a “balancer” or healing wand to try out.  I mean who heals our doctors?!

The wands are adapted from the things I learned from the Keshe Foundation.  I am not selling these because I just don’t feel right about doing that.  Whenever I consider the idea, I end up going back to the original intention of Dr. Keshe sharing this information.  He gave to us for free so we could pass it on to pay the blessing forward and also to learn on our own.  Having the chance to learn about this technology online was very inspiring but very hard for me to keep up with!  I just don’t have the attention span for long lectures.  I never made my own Magrav power unit but did try several things related to the research like a battery and pain pens.

I ended up using the concepts to come up with things that I was interested in.  Some people are interested in the applications for home energy use, others are interested in food and health and still others are interested in how this technology could have applications for space travel.  I try to share the information whenever I have an appropriate opportunity.  I am hoping someone  may see what I share here and have it ignite a spark of imagination.  From my own personal experience and from what I’ve seen, you should never underestimate the power of human ingenuity!

Most times when I make things like this, it is my way of trying to give back to people who don’t often get any appreciation at all like my doctors.  Sometimes people ask me to make them things and if they provide me the materials and or the finances to acquire the materials, I will do it.   I had my husband “test” the one in the picture on himself.  He doesn’t always feel anything with these things.  With this one, he said he felt a magnetic pull on his skin.  With other ones I’ve had him there he has felt warmth.  The sensation for me is like a power surge.  I am wearing the one pictured to help me with my personal issues with physical, emotional and spiritual balance.  I can tell the difference when I have it on and when I take it off.  It might be partially a placebo, the “wanting it to work” and I guess with most anything, that’s half of achieving healing isn’t it?  Belief that you will get better, that you can be better?  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wear such a device and not need so many pills and surgeries?!  May be some day!

If you decide to make these types of things for yourself, remember they will not have my energy signature which is different than yours will be.  No one has the same energy signature.  From personal experience, I believe whatever you craft with your own hands is imbued with your personal energy.  If you were to try and manufacture these with a machine, I doubt they would have the same effect but I don’t know for sure.  I think it’s better to personalize this sort of device with a hands-on approach.  Kind of like in the old days when crafters like blacksmiths and the like made their own tools that were suited perfectly to them.

26 April 2018 – this is something I made for myself using what I learned from the Keshe Foundation. Here is a link to information about other applications if you would like to make an power unit for your home or automobile: https://www.slideshare.net/exopolitika/keshe-magrav-power-coil-production-step-by-step-pp24-oct302015

Anyhew…hope this is helpful.  I have made wands like this the side of earrings.  I use screwdrivers of varying sizes to wind the coils.  Sometimes I use hot glue to seal the openings on the end etc.  I purchased the wire at Michael’s craft store in Burleson.  It is 20 gauge copper wire from a company named Bead Landing in Pakistan.  Before using the wire, I prayed for those people who make the wire that I have the privilege to use for this purpose.   I try to do that for everything I buy and use.  There is so much involved the production of just about everything we often take for granted in this world!

P.S we found a essential oil diffuser at Michael’s yesterday and it didn’t require a filter!  So far so good!  Both of our allergies have been really acting up and diffusing Young Living Peppermint oil has been helping.  If we still had Amber and May, our cats, I don’t know if we could do this as they both seemed sensitive to this sort of thing.

(Thinking this may be my husband and my anniversary date movie!  I am excited to see everyone working together.  I would love it if somehow DC and Marvel did the same.  Can you imagine?!  I know blasphemy but hey, I am a dreamer!)

Marvel Studios’ Avengers: Infinity War – Official Trailer

18 Feb 2018 Who are we now?

Hello to you.  It’s 11:45 am on this cool, gray Sunday.  I just wanted to share a positive word.  I feel like I am discovering a way to be useful in this world, and it’s not an easy process but a process just the same – seeking and finding the positive things in people, places and things.   I used to be really good at this – when I was a child of course.  Well thankfully, inside, I still feel my inner child very much alive!  The part of me that our Sam taught me to hold on to – there are no strangers in this world, just family you haven’t met yet.  Not just friends, FAMILY.  Why do I say that?  With my understanding of God as energy.   If everything is energy and everything is God then that makes us all – every single form of life know and unknown – family!

Anyhew.   In my meditation this morning, the message that came forth was about how the past can hang and or trip us up to getting to where we want to go.  I have shared this before here but I will share it again:  “It’s not who we were in the past, it’s who we are now.”  The God of my understanding doesn’t care about the past because Time is our device.  The God of my understanding doesn’t care about what mistakes we’ve made in the past only if we don’t learn from them and intentionally keep repeating them.  If we don’t even try to make amends to those we’ve wronged to include ourselves.

As I sat outside doing this drawing and meditation a thought occurred to me for places we could start making amends – prisons of all kinds, nursing homes, mental health facilities, rehabilitation centers and our churches.  All the places for humans, animals and plants that could be considered cages.  Unconditional love and forgiveness has not been taught or learned by many.  What if we were to work together starting in a place we all share….the heart?  Just a thought…an idea with a positive intention and or motive.

 

10 Feb 2018 Houses and Becoming (17 April 2018 edited version)

Hello again. It’s cold and getting colder by the minute as I write. Today will be an inside day I think! This morning I finished working on the blanket I started working on back in January of last year! It’s a corner to corner pattern that my friend Erin and Red Heart Yarn taught me how to do and it’s pretty much the only one I use now lol.

I did get out for a quick chalk meditation this morning and some interesting stuff came forward. For many, what I am sharing with you may not resonate with your belief systems, culture, morals or value system…may seem strange even. You may not agree with what is here and that is perfectly fine! Everyone has a comfort zone….a “warm blanket” if you will. I am just passing on what came to me with no expectation from you the reader.

A phrase kept popping into my head this morning, “Old God’s in New Houses.” This is a phrase that came from a film called Queen of the Damned and sadly, one of my favorite female musicians was in it, Aaliyah.  After Aaliyah died in a terrible plane crash I was devastated.  It is so sad to me that such a tragedy should happen to such a talented young woman as she was.  Every time I see the movie, I am reminded of what a great loss was suffered by the music world at her passing.

Who are you? Did you know once a long time ago but the world beat and or numbed it out of you? I am hoping to empower you to be who God brought you here to be. To remember who you are and if you can’t and want to, do the work here in this shared dream this planet-sized school we are all in, and find out!

When I think of Aaliyah and from my own personal experiences of what I’ve observed in the world, this seems to be happening.  Have you ever met someone and felt like you met them before? What was it about them?  A look, a gesture, a walk, a way of speaking, something they said, sharing sentences…a smell?  Some of this is just nature of course but I believe there is more to it than that.  Perhaps on some level you have or did. If you think about the entire cycle of life, death and new life why would that not be possible? What if the energy all around us, capable of making an entire planet full of life, not have such a system? Recycling? Repurposing? What is energy? To me? God! What is God? Life, death and new life. How do we get there? It’s a process and it takes time but it is eternal.  I believe the Gods of many understanding and my own have kept their promise to all of us with this beautiful blessing of earth.

The  most valuable lessons I have learned from this life thus far has come from my observance of trees and nature.  The tree of life symbol from various different religions and walks of spirit is what resonates with me the most.  I believe that whatever we feel we have lost in the passing of someone we love is returned to us beyond measure.  This happened with our loss of our precious fur babies Sam, Blondie, Amber and May.  In the void left by their passing, they have returned to us in other ways.  I see their return and presence in nature and all of it’s forms.  The Wiccan, Native American and Buddhist walks of faith  have been milestones for me from my Christian and Catholic foundations in faith.  Each walk of faith, in my opinion, has had a contribution to my overall perspective of spirituality.

When I was stationed at Travis AFB, one of my ex-husbands roommates was a Satanist.  He was a good man and we actually were able to communicate about difficult subjects.  We never completely got a long but there was good in him.  I try to find the positive in all people, the best I can find and sometimes it’s almost impossible.  When I feel I can’t find anything positive about someone, I will pray for them and I say this in the context of not being any particular walk of spirit.  I don’t believe in hero’s and villains, good or evil or any labels put on people that make them either good or bad.  This is why I have chosen a “no labels” path for myself….it is a very lonely path to walk.  I have had a dream for a long time of all of us walking together as one but not to be ruled or made slaves.  My dream is that we would all walk together as family.

Part of the walking together involves something called forgiveness.  I think it was Oprah Winfrey that I learned this from.  We will forgive but that doesn’t mean we forget.  Right now I am feeling like a bunch of stuff I had already worked through is getting brought back up for someone else’s benefit or may be I thought I was finished with it and perhaps wasn’t.  I don’t believe we experience anything for no reason….it’s not a coincidence.  I believe everything is connected to divine timing and just how the God of energy operates.

I hope something here resonates with you today.  I am revisiting some of my blogs here and if you should come across some that are incomplete or missing pictures etc. it’s because I was considering deleting this blog entirely just so I wouldn’t hurt anyone.

 

9 Feb 2018 Love and Abandonment (Morning meditation)

9 Feb 2018 /1019 am

I was outside preparing to do some “chalking” when a revelation about connection between “wisdom,” Why of Life and Death and Tree of Life came. It was instigated by my finding seeds that blew down from cotton tree to my hoodie. My good friend the cotton tree helping me again. What came brought forth a lot of tears. If I (we as a species) had remained ignorant, didn’t need to find out why (curiosity) I (we) wouldn’t know or care about living and dying. Sentience and consciousness, “awareness” would never have happened and may be we would have been happier — “Ignorance is Bliss” philosophy.

17 May 2017 – Cottonwood seed ships

Love changed everything because with love comes “attachment.” Something I learned more about through Buddhism’s the 4 Noble Truths and the 8 Fold Path. When you lose something or someone you love more than “existence” you will tear heaven and earth apart to find it, reclaim it. What I was willing to do at Mesa Springs when I didn’t know where Kyle was. What happened to me for 3 years after we lost our Sammy.

Source Internet: Seed of Life. I loved that this is made in stained glass with chakra colors.

Abandonment creates some of the largest energy vortexes, human black holes. It can be “perceived” or intentional abandonment but the abandoned feel it all the same. Why?!Where did you go?! When are you coming back?! Will you come back?!

(My mother, my Grandparents….all those I’ve loved and lost for whatever reason. I had to grieve and heal — fill the holes their “abandonment of me” left behind.

All of us have lost people, places and things through our shared journey. Are we so attached to these that we are willing to destroy ourselves and a planet to retrieve them? This is just what I see for myself. I hope there is something in this morning meditation that resonates with you….is helpful. I would ask you, what positive, loving aspect of existence can you put in the “holes” some sort of abandonment has made in your mind, body and most importantly your soul?

What do I do? All through my blogs here is what I’ve learned to do for myself with unseen guidance and loving nudges from the tangible elements that surround me. The arts, meaningful work, chores, spirituality, helping others and educating myself about people, places and things I don’t understand before making judgements about them. It is in the latter I have come to realize I can judge no one nor is there anyone on this earth who can either. We are all imperfect and it is in that imperfection we are amazing creations capable of greatness beyond our wildest dreams. We are here for each other. No one person can fix this shared mess our world has become. We must learn to build bridges instead of more walls.

17-feb-2011-my-puppy-sammy-and-his-tennis-ball (Sammy crossed the rainbow bridge 27 April 2011)

My Mom Jeanne and my Grandpa Harold (Hal) Becker on her wedding day, 21 Nov 1965.

8 Feb 2018 Dr. Wilhelm Reich books The Cancer biopathy and Function of the Orgasm Alvarado TX

8 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant Blue Book for Alcoholics Anonymous Alvarado TX meditation about addiction like sugar etc

8 Feb 2018 Two books from Grandma Becker and Aunt Ruth to help me heal inside when I was younger I read from How to Be your own best friend out loud Alvarado TX

5 Feb 2018 Drawings and Energy Vampirism

5 Feb 2018 – it’s been a very cold and gray day but I did get out and do this drawing today. “Peace with a heart”

5 Feb 2018 – Drawing I did this afternoon. Started with the figure and just evolved. This is kind of a representation of what it’s like for Empaths, Highly Sensitive People, Caretakers…”shiny people” in a world of people starving for light inside of themselves.  People who do not know how to generate their own light are attracted to those who can….it can be very draining….Energy vampirism. 

https://www.drbrucegoldberg.com/EnergyVampires.htm

this information resonated with me from my own experience and behaviors I’ve struggled with myself.  I feel like since everything is energy, to include my concept of God, we are all vampires in a way.   If you think about it, when we eat a meal, we are basically consuming energy.  I have had the experience on more than one occasion of nearly being drained to exhaustion, sweating – nearly passing out.  I have been on the other side of it also before I learned about what exactly was going on with regards to the exchange of energy between people, places and things.  I had to learn mindfulness about energy – the rate of exchange in the interactions I have and knowing when the exchange is imbalanced and doing what I need to do to protect myself from harm.   I am still learning.  When you are a person who cares about others, too much, you can make yourself very vulnerable to this experience of energy vampirism.  I don’t know why, but thought it might be interesting to share.  I hope this information is helpful/informative to those who may not have been aware.

Energy Vampires

by Dr. Bruce Goldberg

 

Some people, by their very presence, seem to drain the energy of those unprotected people around them. They will often associate with a victim who exhibits the classic signs of this drain.

General debility, lack of motivation and energy, an emaciated physique, a pallid complexion, and an overall sense of weakness are typically noted. These victims also tended to be highly suggestible people. The dominant partner (energy vampire) always resists a successful treatment, or protection, applied to their victim.

Most of these energy vampires are well-meaning, normal people. They are an unhappy lot, and do their damage by a telepathic draining of their victim’s energy resources. Mere separation of two people results in immediate positive changes in the victim. In my Los Angeles office I train all such victims in the art of spiritual protection techniques to eliminate any recurrences of this syndrome. Try the psychic protection negativity experience on the hypnotic exercise link for your own protection.

I prefer to use the term “psychic parasitism” for cases where this energy drain is involuntary and subconscious. If this effect is the result of a premeditated psychic attack, I refer to the perpetrator as an energy vampire.

You will observe this process at work in any public gathering,. The more people present, the easier it will be to observe. This could be a family gathering, a lecture, or an encounter at your local movie theater. When I conduct seminars and workshops, it is more than obvious. I discuss this concept and immediately see certain heads bobbing up and down. Even more interesting is the response of their partner. These individuals give more me some of the nastiest looks I have ever seen. Fear not, I am fully protected and am not susceptible to their parasitism/vampirism.

Psychic Defense Strategies Against Energy Vampires

The psychological dynamics represented by people who inadvertently portray a psychic attacker (energy vampire) fall into five major categories. This personality type is an accumulation of that individual’s experiences in their current life, as well as in prior lifetimes.

Fear is the common denominator in these individuals, and you must learn to protect yourself from their negative influences. The five personality types are called ethereal, insecure, paranoid, passive-aggressive, and robotic.

The Paranoid Type

Betrayal is the main issue with a paranoid type. Their karmic theme in past lives has possibly been that of warrior-like behavior, self-sacrifice, and victory in their battles. As a results of their experiences, they learned that there were enemies in the world who betrayed and possibly killed them in several incarnations.

Paranoid types are soldiers still trying to win a war that no longer exists against an enemy that has long since perished. They do not trust anyone.  Everyone is their enemy and life is their battleground. Fear is everywhere and an ingrained part of their personality makeup.

Their energy fields tend to be more highly charged on the upper half of their body. They are especially fearful and distrustful of members of the opposite sex. Aggression is the most common response to the world from a paranoid type. This aggression takes the form of physical behavior and energy projections to anyone in their path.

Paranoid types constantly pick fights. They are seductive, but are incapable of long-term relationships. This person expects all others to betray them, and will assist in setting up others for this betrayal. A paranoid may initiate a betrayal as a preemptory strike.

To lose for a paranoid is to admit that they are bad. This is intolerable, so these people must win at any cost. They are hard workers, obsessive-compulsive, and are usually quite healthy physically. There is never enough time for them to accomplish their various goals.

Paranoid types insist you agree with their often-distorted view of the world. In reality, they want you to argue with them. This way they can win the argument and prove to themselves that they are good and you are bad.

Never argue with this person. Refrain from making eye contact with them. Lower and soften your voice when you speak to them, and change the topic to something pleasant.

The Ethereal Type* (this can be me sometimes)

Existential terror is the predominant issue of an ethereal type. Most often these troubled souls have been tortured to death in previous lives for their metaphysical beliefs or practices. Their only escape was to leave the body, so out-of-body experiences are the norm with them today.

These individuals do not want much contact with others. They were afraid to incarnate in their present body, and show this fear by being unwilling to commit their consciousness completely into their physical body.

Leaving their physical body often throughout the day is the most common method that ethereal types use to deal with problems. They have weak boundaries and spend as much time as possible on the spiritual realms. Since all time is simultaneous on other planes, these people find it difficult to relate to linear time.

The result of these inclinations is both withdrawal and aggression. They become aggressive and angry when forced to function on the earth plane. Their psychic attack on you is rarely premeditated, but nonetheless you must protect yourself from these individuals.

The Insecure Type

The main issue with insecure types is nurturance. These souls have been through many incarnations during which there simply was not enough food or love to go around. They usually were abandoned at some time in their present life, and fear it will happen again.

The insecure type feels that everyone around them is draining their energy; their response is to suck the energy from others to compensate. They may engage you in long, boring conversations and speak very softly. Their voice is so soft and low that you have to strain to hear them. These are compulsive people who are classically overweight and susceptible to addictions of all kinds.

These souls continually create life experience proving that they are not worthy of attention, and their energy needs and nurturing requirements will never be satisfied. To solve this deficiency, they must persist in draining the energy from others, creating a vicious cycle.

An insecure type always comes across as helpless. They insist you do things for them, and expect you to take care of their every need. Give-and-take circumstances are unknown to them. All they can do is take.

Never stand directly in front of this person. Do not make eye contact with him or her, if possible. Encourage them with words, but do not offer to do things for them. Remember these individuals live in constant fear of rejection and abandonment. Do not let your pity for them be a basis for you being their next victim.

The Passive-Aggressive Type

Invasion and being controlled is the chief concern of the passive-aggressive type. During several past incarnations, they experienced being controlled and trapped in situations, and prevented from being able to express themselves in ways they wanted to. They may have been slaves, prisoners, or been victimized by religion or governments.

These souls absolutely desire freedom, but their fear prevents them from claiming it. They are angry and resentful for not feeling free, and lack a solution to this problem. Their response to the world is withdrawal, but with a subconscious wish to obtain permission from other people to come back into the world.

Passive-aggressive types lack autonomy. They constantly strive to involve other people in their lives. This individual makes demands and resists input at the same time. They live in the now, and never plan or think about the future. Self-expression is unknown to them. It is common to observe others interfering with their development, completing their sentences, and taking them for granted.

This type of individual creates an internal world of unclear, undifferentiated fantasies and ideas, with fear at the core of this world. They imprison themselves and project loneliness, desperation, and resentment toward everyone they contact. It is impossible for them to express anger.

Whey you engage this type in a conversation, they will request your advice. Unfortunately, all of your suggestions are wrong and you are of no help to them. These people ask but reject whatever is offered to them. Their classic response to your advice is, “yes,but..”

The Robot Type

The main issue of robotic types is authenticity. They are denying their true self. During previous lifetimes, they had to keep up the appearance of being perfect in order to survive. They were most likely in charge of running things, as they probably are now.

Their outer world is perfect, the inner world is denied, and there is no core essence. They constantly fear that something is missing and life is progressing without them.

To deal with this reality, robot types try to become even more perfect. They have high-paying jobs, a good reputation, a perfect spouse and family, and look in perfect health.

The more inauthentic they act, the more meaningless the world appears. Others envy their lifestyle. People come to them with their problems. The robot types never attain satisfaction from life, and come across as a blank. They function as if on automatic pilot and are often removed from your conversation.

Robot types never complain about the world. They are perfect and everything is beautiful. Appropriateness and being “politically correct” are more important that being real.

These five types of psychic parasites need to be recognized and treated accordingly, or a psychic attack upon you is inevitable.

I highly recommend my Spiritual Growth experience CD album and my book Protected By the Light to fully benefit from this topic.

 

 

 

16 Sept 2017 Imzadi (book), Mercy Street (song by Peter Gabriel) and missing my Dad

Hello to you.  It’s 5:35 am on this early Saturday morning.  I didn’t sleep very well again.  As I lay in bed before saying “f-it” and getting up, I tried to do a visualization of someplace I’d like to be with Kyle and the dogs and it was in a forest.  I imagined being in a beautiful forest next to a stream of healing waters surrounded by ancient crystal beings.  I imagined us all sitting together in this waterfall/stream and just feeling the healing and loving power in the experience.  Link and Spot didn’t have to have leashes and collars and Kyle and I didn’t need clothes…our little Eden in my mind.

I’ve been reading a book Kyle bought for me when I was last in the hospital, Imzadi (https://www.amazon.com/Imzadi-Star-Trek-Next-Generation/dp/0671791974/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505559054&sr=8-1&keywords=Imzadi).  It’s a romantic and tragic story about Will Riker and Deanna Troi.  The Betazoids (Deanna’s people which are Empaths and Telepathic people) are my kind of people lol!  When Betazoids get married, they don’t wear clothes lol.  I’ve been a Star Trek fan ever since I first saw it as a young girl on television.  My favorite version of the series is definitely Next Generation!

Drawing I did many years ago of Deanna Troi from Star Trek Next Generation

Anyhew….for some reason my mind and heart thought of this song by Peter Gabriel again.  I’ve been missing my Mom and Dad a lot lately.  Sitting next to my Dad out in our backyard, not saying much but just “being” together…..seeing God in everything together.   Thankfully we have agreed he will live as long as Moses and nobody is really sure how long he lived but it was a long, long time!

 

Peter Gabriel – Mercy Street (takes a few seconds before starting, be patient)

Mercy Street

Peter Gabriel

Looking down on empty streets, all she can see
Are the dreams all made solid
Are the dreams all made real

All of the buildings, all of those cars
Were once just a dream
In somebody’s head

She pictures the broken glass, she pictures the steam
She pictures a soul
With no leak at the seam

Lets take the boat out
Wait until darkness
Let’s take the boat out
Wait until darkness comes

Nowhere in the corridors of pale green and grey
Nowhere in the suburbs
In the cold light of day

There in the midst of it so alive and alone
Words support like bone

Dreaming of mercy st.
Wear your inside out
Dreaming of mercy
In your daddy(‘s arms again
Dreaming of mercy st.
‘Swear they moved that sign
Dreaming of mercy
In your daddy’s arms

Pulling out the papers from the drawers that slide smooth
Tugging at the darkness, word upon word

Confessing all the secret things in the warm velvet box
To the priest-he’s the doctor
He can handle the shocks

Dreaming of the tenderness-the tremble in the hips
Of kissing Mary’s lips

Dreaming of mercy st.
Wear your insides out
Dreaming of mercy
In your daddy’s arms again
Dreaming of mercy st.
‘Swear they moved that sign
Looking for mercy
In your daddy’s arms

Mercy, mercy, looking for mercy
Mercy, mercy, looking for mercy

Anne, with her father is out in the boat
Riding the water
Riding the waves on the sea

Songwriters: Peter Gabriel

Mercy Street lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

5 Aug 2017 The conversation never ends

Good morning to you.  It’s 10:52 am as I start to write to you on this muggy, hot Saturday!  I want to go out and “do my thing” where I put on my music and interact with nature but know it will be difficult so I’m procrastinating about it.  I can only imagine if I had to be out there all the time with no other options.  Part of my gratitude list always includes having shelter with working climate control (A/C)!

In the month of May I was having one of my altered states experiences.  Kyle calls them “episodes” and this time he let me work through it at home because I refused to be anywhere else to deal with it.  He just let me do my rituals and process through whatever was going on and it was hard but we got through it.  Going through what we did is far more wonderful for me than it has ever been for him.  People out there who go through what Kyle and I do, know this truth.  Being on the outside versus being within the experience is very different.  For him it’s a lot like keeping the lid on a toddler and for me it’s a magical kingdom every day.  I get to witness first hand what it’s like when God uses all the life created on this planet to have various experiences of reality.  Kyle gets to babysit while it happens so I don’t get hurt!  We’ve been talking as I’m writing this…lots of tears on my part because with some distance from it happening, it hurts me to know he had to go through so much for me and more than once now!  This time Kyle became the involuntary Shaman I was asking for in  a previous blog about this subject! (https://saymber.com/2017/05/07/7-may-2017-caretakers-can-get-ptsd-too-poem-bird-drawings-from-this-morning-and-the-shamanic-view-of-mental-illness-jayson-gaddis/)

7 May 2017 – This man came forward during my drawing session this morning. To me he is a Yogi, a guru, a wise man. I got a very living and positive feeling spending time with him.

On the 19th of May Kyle, his brother Drew and I were out and about waiting to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2.  I was walking to Half Price Books and suddenly just stopped and wrote this message in my pink spirit book:

19 May 2017/1:13 pm

19 and 20 May 2017 my Pink spirit book messages:

“They are not conscious of the unseen like action figures moved and motivated by an unseen force.”

One day, during this time period I was sitting outside and a suddenly this huge wasp appeared and it was dragging a lifeless spider in front of me like it was showing me something.  It would stop, look at me, then start dragging the body again.  Another day a huge moth I’ve never seen before came and perched on my cot after refusing to leave my hand for almost an hour it seemed.  I’ve had many experiences like that with insects and other life forms.  It’s a conversation and there are no words….just energy between us.  The energy I guess they are picking up from me is that I love them, am interested in them, I want to understand them….mean them no harm!

On the people front, it was like every conversation, every gesture….even driving in the car was deliberate, measured and there was purpose and an underlying meaning or conversation going on from what people normally see.  There was a collective consciousness at work that seemed to be controlled by a central point.  One being using all of existence in my perception to coordinate each and every thing I was experiencing….we are talking epic choreographing!  There were things happening that I couldn’t explain before my eyes, magic-like with smells and sounds appearing out of nowhere.   For example I could all the sudden smell my Mom’s perfume and it was like she was in the room for a second…a visit.  I would wake up smelling fresh baked bread so I got up and actually made it.  I told Kyle it’s like the Mr. Smith’s from the Matrix only it’s not just one guy but all of creation acting in unison instead.   The experience this last time was like truly seeing the energy God of my understanding at work in all creation and they knew I could see them back…were allowing me to see them.  Hope that makes sense!

This past month has been different and the conversation seems to have changed but it’s still going on.  Thankfully for both of us, just not on such a scale as happened in May!  I hope my sharing some of my/our experiences and insights can be useful somehow to anyone out there who may need it.  Stay in the light of loving energy as much as you can.

Sometimes our worst enemy is the person reflected in the mirror. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is to look at myself and tell that person I unconditionally loved them!

(sharing again here also)

http://www.jaysongaddis.com/the-shamanic-view-of-mental-illness/

The Shamanic View of Mental Illness

by Stephanie Marohn (featuring Malidoma Patrice Somé) (Excerpted from The Natural Medicine Guide to Schizophrenia, pages 178-189, or The Natural Medicine Guide to Bi-polar Disorder)

What a Shaman Sees in A Mental Hospital

In the shamanic view, mental illness signals “the birth of a healer,” explains Malidoma Patrice Somé.  Thus, mental disorders are spiritual emergencies, spiritual crises, and need to be regarded as such to aid the healer in being born.

What those in the West view as mental illness, the Dagara people regard as “good news from the other world.”  The person going through the crisis has been chosen as a medium for a message to the community that needs to be communicated from the spirit realm.  “Mental disorder, behavioral disorder of all kinds, signal the fact that two obviously incompatible energies have merged into the same field,” says Dr. Somé.  These disturbances result when the person does not get assistance in dealing with the presence of the energy from the spirit realm.

One of the things Dr. Somé encountered when he first came to the United States in 1980 for graduate study was how this country deals with mental illness.  When a fellow student was sent to a mental institute due to “nervous depression,” Dr. Somé went to visit him.

I was so shocked.  That was the first time I was brought face to face with what is done here to people exhibiting the same symptoms I’ve seen in my village.”  What struck Dr. Somé was that the attention given to such symptoms was based on pathology, on the idea that the condition is something that needs to stop.  This was in complete opposition to the way his culture views such a situation.  As he looked around the stark ward at the patients, some in straitjackets, some zoned out on medications, others screaming, he observed to himself, “So this is how the healers who are attempting to be born are treated in this culture.  What a loss!  What a loss that a person who is finally being aligned with a power from the other world is just being wasted.”

Another way to say this, which may make more sense to the Western mind, is that we in the West are not trained in how to deal or even taught to acknowledge the existence of psychic phenomena, the spiritual world.  In fact, psychic abilities are denigrated.  When energies from the spiritual world emerge in a Western psyche, that individual is completely unequipped to integrate them or even recognize what is happening.  The result can be terrifying.  Without the proper context for and assistance in dealing with the breakthrough from another level of reality, for all practical purposes, the person is insane.  Heavy dosing with anti-psychotic drugs compounds the problem and prevents the integration that could lead to soul development and growth in the individual who has received these energies.

On the mental ward, Dr Somé saw a lot of “beings” hanging around the patients, “entities” that are invisible to most people but that shamans and psychics are able to see.  “They were causing the crisis in these people,” he says.  It appeared to him that these beings were trying to get the medications and their effects out of the bodies of the people the beings were trying to merge with, and were increasing the patients’ pain in the process.  “The beings were acting almost like some kind of excavator in the energy field of people.  They were really fierce about that.  The people they were doing that to were just screaming and yelling,” he said.  He couldn’t stay in that environment and had to leave.

In the Dagara tradition, the community helps the person reconcile the energies of both worlds–“the world of the spirit that he or she is merged with, and the village and community.”  That person is able then to serve as a bridge between the worlds and help the living with information and healing they need.  Thus, the spiritual crisis ends with the birth of another healer.  “The other world’s relationship with our world is one of sponsorship,” Dr. Somé explains.  “More often than not, the knowledge and skills that arise from this kind of merger are a knowledge or a skill that is provided directly from the other world.”

The beings who were increasing the pain of the inmates on the mental hospital ward were actually attempting to merge with the inmates in order to get messages through to this world.  The people they had chosen to merge with were getting no assistance in learning how to be a bridge between the worlds and the beings’ attempts to merge were thwarted.  The result was the sustaining of the initial disorder of energy and the aborting of the birth of a healer.

“The Western culture has consistently ignored the birth of the healer,” states Dr. Somé.  “Consequently, there will be a tendency from the other world to keep trying as many people as possible in an attempt to get somebody’s attention.  They have to try harder.”  The spirits are drawn to people whose senses have not been anesthetized.  “The sensitivity is pretty much read as an invitation to come in,” he notes.

Those who develop so-called mental disorders are those who are sensitive, which is viewed in Western culture as oversensitivity.  Indigenous cultures don’t see it that way and, as a result, sensitive people don’t experience themselves as overly sensitive.  In the West, “it is the overload of the culture they’re in that is just wrecking them,” observes Dr. Somé.  The frenetic pace, the bombardment of the senses, and the violent energy that characterize Western culture can overwhelm sensitive people.

Schizophrenia and Foreign Energy

With schizophrenia, there is a special “receptivity to a flow of images and information, which cannot be controlled,” stated Dr. Somé.  “When this kind of rush occurs at a time that is not personally chosen, and particularly when it comes with images that are scary and contradictory, the person goes into a frenzy.”

What is required in this situation is first to separate the person’s energy from the extraneous foreign energies, by using shamanic practice (what is known as a “sweep”) to clear the latter out of the individual’s aura.  With the clearing of their energy field, the person no longer picks up a flood of information and so no longer has a reason to be scared and disturbed, explains Dr. Somé.

Then it is possible to help the person align with the energy of the spirit being attempting to come through from the other world and give birth to the healer.  The blockage of that emergence is what creates problems.  “The energy of the healer is a high-voltage energy,” he observes.  “When it is blocked, it just burns up the person.  It’s like a short-circuit.  Fuses are blowing.  This is why it can be really scary, and I understand why this culture prefers to confine these people.  Here they are yelling and screaming, and they’re put into a straitjacket.  That’s a sad image.”  Again, the shamanic approach is to work on aligning the energies so there is no blockage, “fuses” aren’t blowing, and the person can become the healer they are meant to be.

It needs to be noted at this point, however, that not all of the spirit beings that enter a person’s energetic field are there for the purposes of promoting healing.  There are negative energies as well, which are undesirable presences in the aura.  In those cases, the shamanic approach is to remove them from the aura, rather than work to align the discordant energies.

Alex:  Crazy in the USA, Healer in Africa

To test his belief that the shamanic view of mental illness holds true in the Western world as well as in indigenous cultures, Dr. Somé took a mental patient back to Africa with him, to his village.  “I was prompted by my own curiosity to find out whether there’s truth in the universality that mental illness could be connected with an alignment with a being from another world,” says Dr. Somé.

Alex was an 18-year-old American who had suffered a psychotic break when he was 14.  He had hallucinations, was suicidal, and went through cycles of dangerously severe depression.  He was in a mental hospital and had been given a lot of drugs, but nothing was helping.  “The parents had done everything–unsuccessfully,” says Dr. Somé.  “They didn’t know what else to do.”

With their permission, Dr. Somé took their son to Africa.  “After eight months there, Alex had become quite normal, Dr. Somé reports.  He was even able to participate with healers in the business of healing; sitting with them all day long and helping them, assisting them in what they were doing with their clients . . . . He spent about four years in my village.”  Alex stayed by choice, not because he needed more healing.  He felt, “much safer in the village than in America.”

To bring his energy and that of the being from the spiritual realm into alignment, Alex went through a shamanic ritual designed for that purpose, although it was slightly different from the one used with the Dagara people.  “He wasn’t born in the village, so something else applied.  But the result was similar, even though the ritual was not literally the same,” explains Dr. Somé.  The fact that aligning the energy worked to heal Alex demonstrated to Dr. Somé that the connection between other beings and mental illness is indeed universal.

After the ritual, Alex began to share the messages that the spirit being had for this world.  Unfortunately, the people he was talking to didn’t speak English (Dr. Somé was away at that point).  The whole experience led, however, to Alex’s going to college to study psychology.  He returned to the United States after four years because “he discovered that all the things that he needed to do had been done, and he could then move on with his life.”

The last that Dr. Somé heard was that Alex was in graduate school in psychology at Harvard.  No one had thought he would ever be able to complete undergraduate studies, much less get an advanced degree.

Dr. Somé sums up what Alex’s mental illness was all about:  “He was reaching out.  It was an emergency call.  His job and his purpose was to be a healer.  He said no one was paying attention to that.”

After seeing how well the shamanic approach worked for Alex, Dr. Somé concluded that spirit beings are just as much an issue in the West as in his community in Africa.  “Yet the question still remains, the answer to this problem must be found here, instead of having to go all the way overseas to seek the answer.  There has to be a way in which a little bit of attention beyond the pathology of this whole experience leads to the possibility of coming up with the proper ritual to help people.

Longing for Spiritual Connection

A common thread that Dr. Somé has noticed in “mental” disorders in the West is “a very ancient ancestral energy that has been placed in stasis, that finally is coming out in the person.”  His job then is to trace it back, to go back in time to discover what that spirit is.  In most cases, the spirit is connected to nature, especially with mountains or big rivers, he says.

In the case of mountains, as an example to explain the phenomenon, “it’s a spirit of the mountain that is walking side by side with the person and, as a result, creating a time-space distortion that is affecting the person caught in it.”  What is needed is a merger or alignment of the two energies, “so the person and the mountain spirit become one.”  Again, the shaman conducts a specific ritual to bring about this alignment.

Dr. Somé believes that he encounters this situation so often in the United States because “most of the fabric of this country is made up of the energy of the machine, and the result of that is the disconnection and the severing of the past.  You can run from the past, but you can’t hide from it.”  The ancestral spirit of the natural world comes visiting.  “It’s not so much what the spirit wants as it is what the person wants,” he says.  “The spirit sees in us a call for something grand, something that will make life meaningful, and so the spirit is responding to that.”

That call, which we don’t even know we are making, reflects “a strong longing for a profound connection, a connection that transcends materialism and possession of things and moves into a tangible cosmic dimension.  Most of this longing is unconscious, but for spirits, conscious or unconscious doesn’t make any difference.”  They respond to either.

As part of the ritual to merge the mountain and human energy, those who are receiving the “mountain energy” are sent to a mountain area of their choice, where they pick up a stone that calls to them.  They bring that stone back for the rest of the ritual and then keep it as a companion; some even carry it around with them.  “The presence of the stone does a lot in tuning the perceptive ability of the person,” notes Dr. Somé.  “They receive all kinds of information that they can make use of, so it’s like they get some tangible guidance from the other world as to how to live their life.”

When it is the “river energy,” those being called go to the river and, after speaking to the river spirit, find a water stone to bring back for the same kind of ritual as with the mountain spirit.

“People think something extraordinary must be done in an extraordinary situation like this,” he says.  That’s not usually the case.  Sometimes it is as simple as carrying a stone.

A Sacred Ritual Approach to Mental Illness

One of the gifts a shaman can bring to the Western world is to help people rediscover ritual, which is so sadly lacking.  “The abandonment of ritual can be devastating.  From the spiritual view, ritual is inevitable and necessary if one is to live,” Dr. Somé writes in Ritual:  Power, Healing, and Community. “To say that ritual is needed in the industrialized world is an understatement.  We have seen in my own people that it is probably impossible to live a sane life without it.”

Dr. Somé did not feel that the rituals from his traditional village could simply be transferred to the West, so over his years of shamanic work here, he has designed rituals that meet the very different needs of this culture.  Although the rituals change according to the individual or the group involved, he finds that there is a need for certain rituals in general.

One of these involves helping people discover that their distress is coming from the fact that they are “called by beings from the other world to cooperate with them in doing healing work.”  Ritual allows them to move out of the distress and accept that calling.

Another ritual need relates to initiation.  In indigenous cultures all over the world, young people are initiated into adulthood when they reach a certain age.  The lack of such initiation in the West is part of the crisis that people are in here, says Dr. Somé.  He urges communities to bring together “the creative juices of people who have had this kind of experience, in an attempt to come up with some kind of an alternative ritual that would at least begin to put a dent in this kind of crisis.”

Another ritual that repeatedly speaks to the needs of those coming to him for help entails making a bonfire, and then putting into the bonfire “items that are symbolic of issues carried inside the individuals . . . It might be the issues of anger and frustration against an ancestor who has left a legacy of murder and enslavement or anything, things that the descendant has to live with,” he explains.  “If these are approached as things that are blocking the human imagination, the person’s life purpose, and even the person’s view of life as something that can improve, then it makes sense to begin thinking in terms of how to turn that blockage into a roadway that can lead to something more creative and more fulfilling.”

The example of issues with an ancestors touches on rituals designed by Dr. Somé that address a serious dysfunction in Western society and in the process “trigger enlightenment” in participants.  These are ancestral rituals, and the dysfunction they are aimed at is the mass turning-of-the-back on ancestors.  Some of the spirits trying to come through, as described earlier, may be “ancestors who want to merge with a descendant in an attempt to heal what they weren’t able to do while in their physical body.”

“Unless the relationship between the living and the dead is in balance, chaos ensues,” he says.  “The Dagara believe that, if such an imbalance exists, it is the duty of the living to heal their ancestors.  If these ancestors are not healed, their sick energy will haunt the souls and psyches of those who are responsible for helping them.”  The rituals focus on healing the relationship with our ancestors, both specific issues of an individual ancestor and the larger cultural issues contained in our past.  Dr. Somé has seen extraordinary healing occur at these rituals.

Taking a sacred ritual approach to mental illness rather than regarding the person as a pathological case gives the person affected–and indeed the community at large–the opportunity to begin looking at it from that vantage point too, which leads to “a whole plethora of opportunities and ritual initiative that can be very, very beneficial to everyone present,” states Dr. Somé.

Lastly, since I get so many private emails about this post from people who have a “mental illness” or think they are in a spiritual emergency and want answers, please ask to join our private community on Facebook here. It could be a safe place to learn from others… Subscribe to my newsletter and get the free mini-ebook on the big relationship secret.

 

 

25 May 2017 A New Design

Hello to you – it’s 1:41 pm as I write.  The pictures that I have to share with you will hopefully make sense in the sequence of the previous posts.  What has come to me is the only way through this design is through energy of creation…..creativity….originality….free-form thinking and subsequent design and manifestation.  What I made this afternoon I did with materials I already had – the only thing new was how I perceived what was before me, input from Kyle for how to start it and then just going with the flow.  We can’t change the past.  We can only live in the moment we are in and imagine the future while we are in the present.

20 May 2017 Forge Spiral of Forgiveness, the value of all the parts that make the “Big Picture” (drawing) and Apology song from Book of Life film (Boxer Raymundo Beltran)

The men have started working on replacing the siding on our house and I’m so grateful.  As I expected, they are all Hispanic and of course that doesn’t matter to me.  The only concerns I have is for their safety and well-being…that they are taken care of by their employer and will be compensated well for their labors when the project is complete.   Thinking of them from a place of gratitude, I began thinking of what is going on in our country right now for many people of their culture and I was lead to this song, The Apology Song,  from the movie The Book of Life.  My hope for our country is that a path to citizenship can come easier to those who want to live here than having to win a boxing match like Raymundo Beltran:

http://www.boxingscene.com/beltran-going-trump-tower-with-my-green-card-i-win–116714

Beltran: Going to Trump Tower With My Green Card After I Win! By Keith Idec NEW YORK –

Ray Beltran has participated in three lightweight world title fights, including a loss to Terence Crawford. In many ways, though, the Mexican contender’s fight against Jonathan Maicelo on Saturday night will be the most important of his 19-year pro career. If Beltran beats Peru’s Maicelo, it could help him earn the green card he’ll need to remain in the United States with his wife and three children. Beltran, 35, has lived in the U.S. for 20 years, but can ensure permanent residence in the country by fighting for a world title. The Phoenix resident’s 12-round fight against Maicelo (25-2, 12 KOs, 1 NC), which will be broadcast by HBO from Madison Square Garden, is an IBF elimination match that’ll eventually earn the winner a shot at the IBF’s 135-pound championship. – See more at: http://www.boxingscene.com/beltran-going-trump-tower-with-my-green-card-i-win–116714#sthash.a9wTSpVJ.dpuf

Source: http://www.boxingscene.com/beltran-going-trump-tower-with-my-green-card-i-win–116714#sthash.a9wTSpVJ.dpuf – Raymundo Beltran ironically fighting for a Green Card in Trump Tower….this is ironic and sickening to me.

The Book of Life – The Apology Song [English]   – lead to this song

https://lyrics.az/soundtracks/book-of-life/the-apology-song.html

Soundtracks – The Apology Song lyrics

Toro, I am humble, for tonight I understand
Your royal blood was never meant to decorate this sand
You’ve suffered great injustice, so have thousands before you
I offer an apology, and one long overdue

I am sorry
Toro I am sorry,
Hear my song, and know I sing the truth
Although we were bred to fight, I reach for kindness in your heart tonight

And if you can forgive, and if you can forgive, love can truly live (x2)

Toro, I am frightened, but I’ll use my final breath
To tell you that I’m sorry, let us end this dance of death
[Lyrics from: https:/lyrics.az/soundtracks/book-of-life/the-apology-song.html]
Two centuries of agony, that to your heart we sent
Here and now with my amends, the senseless killing ends

I am sorry,
Toro I am sorry,
Hear my song, and know I sing the truth
Although we were bred to fight, I reach for kindness in your heart tonight

And if you can forgive, and if you can forgive, love can truly live (x2)

And if you can forgive, and if you can forgive, love…
Love will truly live

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/376558-forgiveness-is-giving-up-the-hope-that-the-past-could

Oprah Winfrey

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different, it’s accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.”

Oprah Winfrey