13 April 2022 Keep It Simple and Letting Go

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1454828924

Reminder to myself today and from my therapist too…too many mind!

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. These past couple of days, months….years have been so surreal. I was watching the news yesterday about the shooting in the subway in New York and what popped into my head was this, “look for the helpers.” When I did that I regained my personal power. I went from powerlessness to being empowered. I want to adopt this lesson with all the chaos I see in the world. Who is helping? Who’s trying to restore peace…order. Focus attention and prayer on them not those responsible for instigating the chaos. I pray for the instigators but have to let God work on them beyond a prayer.

The message from A Woman’s Spirit today is about the difficulty but importance of being able to let go. When we are overly attached to stuff of this world we suffer when things change….when we are forced to let go. We’ve all had a favorite “something” in our lives and the mere thought of letting that something go may have brought about negative emotions…pain. Just one object can symbolize such powerful emotions and trigger so many memories. Think about what happens to you when you hear a favorite song? It’s like we become time travelers going back to the moment we first heard that song – smells, sights, people, what we were eating and drinking….what we were doing. To let go is the fear we will forget. Hopefully this message is for you today:

The child in me says “Hold on”; the adult in me says “Let go.” – Harriet Hodgkin

Learning to let go is growing up. Whether we’re twenty-five or sixty-five, we have to learn to let go. We don’t do it automatically . The principles of this program can serve as a guide.

Perhaps we learned in childhood that if we didn’t want to lose our toys, we had to hold on to them. A pattern was set; we began hanging on to everything. But now it’s time for new training , for learning to let go of everything: possessions, people, attitudes, opinions. Patience and practice accomplish the growth we seek.

We must be prepared for backsliding. Some situations cry for us to hold on rather than let go. We have to be vigilant and forgive ourselves when we give in to the old urge to control. Being adult takes desire and consistent effort. The child in us doesn’t give in easily.

I have a choice today. I can handle all circumstances as an adult and feel free, or my “child” can trigger a confrontation. What will I do?

————————-

It was cold, windy and overcast yesterday but we did get our walks in:

Tulips have been appearing in the neighborhood
Big clouds were milling about
Hey – I hope you are doing good. When everything is ruff and confusing look for what’s good. Don’t focus on what’s bad.

Article talking about what they are figuring out about memories and the brain:

https://www.technologynetworks.com/neuroscience/news/many-brain-regions-store-a-single-memory-360560

A new study by scientists at The Picower Institute for Learning and Memory at MIT provides the most comprehensive and rigorous evidence yet that the mammalian brain stores a single memory across a widely distributed, functionally connected complex spanning many brain regions, rather than in just one or even a few places.

11 April 2022 Getting Well

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1452938371

Do you want to get well?

Hello to you today. How are you? I hope this finds you well. Ever since I saw this exchange portrayed on The Chosen I’ve been thinking about it:

John 5:6

6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

Yes I do…..

In the Chosen they added dialogue to the exchange. When the paralytic started to complain, Jesus was like look I asked you a question. I didn’t ask who was or wasn’t helping you. Do you want to be healed? In my Twitch stream today I talk about this. In our world the answer to healing isn’t instantaneous or lasting like it was between Jesus and those he healed. No matter what modality of trying to heal you turn to in our world today healing requires you to do something….to buy something. In our hearts we desire the healing power of someone like Jesus. There have been miracles in our times but for most there is always something they must actively do to get well, to be healed. When I was doing Quantum Touch healing a lot of times it worked but what was interesting is the healing usually wasn’t of what the person wanted healed – at least not right away. The healing usually began inside – it was an emotional healing first. A lot of what ails us does have origins in intangible things that manifest into reality. That’s been my personal experience both as a person trying to help others heal and trying to heal myself.

Some pictures from the walks yesterday:

I found this bee on the pavement and moved it to the grass. I think the cold snap we’ve been having is a shock to everyone’s system!
These little flowers are out now – so delicate
Sign of the coming weather. When Aunt Ruth and I left church yesterday little pellets of snow were falling!
Every time I see this on walks I think of a burning bush like with God and Moses. So pretty.
I love seeing the creativity people have with their yards

There are many ways to interpret my experiences today. I will be flexible and occasionally look from another’s vantage point. – A Woman’s Spirit

http://www.thechosen.tv/app

31 March 2022 Placebo Effect

Check out 31 March 2022 Thursday chat (placebo effect) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1442170547

Me pondering the question of the placebo effect….the power of belief.

Hello to you. How are you? After my post yesterday when I shared my experiences with rose quartz it made me think about the placebo effect. To me that term is like belief. There are many things in our world that we believe to be true, believe to exist but there is little to no “peer reviewed scientific evidence.” Intangible things like God and our souls and yet we continue to believe and have positive experiences. Whether or not there hasn’t been a scientific study or there has been one doesn’t matter to me…..doesn’t change what I believe or negate the value of personal experiences I have had. Whether or not science thinks so, crystals help, God and the soul exist. There is great power in belief.

What is the placebo effect? The placebo effect is when a person’s physical or mental health appears to improve after taking a placebo or ‘dummy’ treatment. Placebo is Latin for ‘I will please’ and refers to a treatment that appears real, but is designed to have no therapeutic benefit.

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au ›

Placebo effect – Better Health Channel

Amethyst beads on a bracelet. Holding them sometimes helps me when I feel anxious.

https://www.livescience.com/40347-crystal-healing.html – Crystal healing: Stone-cold facts about gemstone treatments

There is no peer-reviewed scientific evidence that crystal healing has any effect; it is considered a pseudoscience. Alleged successes of crystal healing can be attributed to the placebo effect.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org › wiki

Crystal healing – Wikipedia

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit were good today:

Even on a rainy day, I can feel the sunshine. Even when the clouds are gray, I can feel a glow. There’s a little light inside me, just keeps burning. I take it with me, everywhere I go. – Jill Clark

We carry within ourselves the single necessary ingredient for our happiness: a positive attitude. Nothing can ruin our day , unless we let it. No remark can devastate us, unless we let it. No person can have a harmful, lasting impact on us, unless we let him or her. No unhealthy, negative attitude controls our thoughts without our assent.

Feeling good about the experiences we’re having, regardless of their nature, is a decision. Trusting that some good will come out of every one of them is a habit we can form. We can acquire an attitude of hope for growth and positive change.

I will see the sunshine even through the clouds if that’s my choice. Today I have twenty-four hours to practice this.

Seeing the sun in the clouds
Some clouds yesterday that looked promising for rain

I wanted to mention my young friend on Twitch told us about another incident she and a friend experienced with bullying. This time they were coming from church and the boy was after the girls friend who has autism. He tried to punch the person and the girl tried to stop him and got punched in her chest. Whenever she gets on and tells us this stuff I feel powerless. I just want to climb through the wires and walk with her….protect her. I’m not completely powerless though. I can pray for her, lend my support and share her story.

30 March 2022 Fair

Check out 30 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1441259554

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope well. Last night was another struggle with getting sleep but God and I got through it. My head has been really full the past few days and I’ve been thinking and praying about a lot. There has been so much going on near and far that has captured my attention and care. It’s hard to wind down when I’m like that. Before bed I saw a video that added more thoughts to my head and prayers to my lips. It was about our President and his mental condition. The source was from Fox News which I expected to be cruel about this subject but Tucker Carlson wasn’t. He brought up some very valid concerns. I will let you judge for yourself if you are interested: https://youtu.be/gsOnnLts-4U – Tucker: Biden can’t regulate his emotions. Being a leader at any strata of this existence isn’t an enviable position. So much responsibility and pressure! God is working in these people. I hope to continue to see God at work. I’m already seeing glimpses of it with the war in the Ukraine. What we focus the power of our thoughts on the most is what helps God manifest those thoughts into reality. That’s how it seems to me anyways! Prayers for leaders at all levels!

Message from A Woman’s Spirit for today:

By embracing the unfair, I no longer feel fear or reflection or lack of self-esteem. – Eileen Fehlen

It’s so human to quickly label an unwanted situation as unfair and to assume we know what’s best for us. We reason that if God would answer our prayers, our lives would unfold appropriately. It’s also terribly human to have to relearn repeatedly that God’s will and God’s timetable don’t always match our own; however , without fail they serve us well.

Learning to appreciate the good in everything that comes our way makes us courageous. In time few things will fill us with fear, and that is measurable progress. We were tormented by fear for so many years that we never expected this rebirth of spirit. Life is beginning to feel inviting, exciting and safe. Let’s step forth together.

I can be certain that God will give me only what is right for me today.

—————

Today I picked up a round piece of rose quartz I have and it was so comforting. There have been several times when I’ve been sick that I have held rose quartz and felt like it helped me heal. When my friend and I went to a rock and gem show I could tell by the crowds that I’m not the only one who feels like these stones help. I know for some it seems like woo woo and that’s ok! It could be a placebo effect somewhat but like with the rose quartz orb I’m holding as I write to you – it feels good in my hand. I think of those worry stones – remember those?

Rose quartz is known as a healing crystal and the stone of unconditional love.

It’s believed by some to emit strong vibrations of love, which are thought to:

  • support emotional and relationship healing.
  • inspire compassion.
  • boost feelings of peace and calm.

https://www.healthline.com › health

Rose Quartz Crystal: Meaning, Healing, and How to Use – Healthline

29 March 2022 Control

Check out 29 March 2022 Tuesday chat (core issues) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1440224536

Sunrise and realizing I have dirty windows! Lol!
Thinking of my friend who gave me this today – she’s such a good listener and friend
I was lead to revisit this book today. It was a gift from my Aunt many years ago
One of the biggest core issues in dysfunction is control
I know it’s probably hard to read this – really good stuff. Another word for control is attachment. In Buddhism it’s taught that attachment leads to suffering. Trying to control everything often leads to addiction and abuse.
I learned about surrender through the Holy Spirit and AA

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. The direction I was lead today was to a book my Aunt gave me many years ago, Healing the Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield MD. In particular to look at core issues of dysfunctional people and one of those core issues is control also known as attachment. The book is still available if you are interested in further reading and learning: Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families https://www.amazon.com/dp/0932194400/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_DM6N7NE2ZFQ55EGW7PHB

A couple messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

Inside me is a stirring truth that is guided by my Higher Power. I am empowered by truth and joy. – Laurel Lewis

I will listen to the still, small voice within and feel secure and joyful, knowing that my actions are God’s will.

On my Twitch Stream today one of my viewers from England who is a young girl, told us about what happened to her, her brother and her brothers friend. They were attacked by bullies again. She was pushed in front of a bus by these kids! I was so hurt for her and the others attacked. The core issue I was lead to in Dr. Whitfields book, control, really applies to these bullies. Many bullies are themselves victims of violence or have been taught this behavior. Are from lives where they haven’t been in control. In order for them not to feel powerless themselves they externalize in their behaviors…. do what has been done to them. Some of these types are fortunate and some kind of intervention happens but I suspect far too many an oftentimes divine intervention doesn’t happen. They end up in jail or prison…death row. In this lifetime they just don’t learn. I’m so grateful for all the things I’ve gone through that I’ve had God who has put the right people, places and things in my life. Some of us internalize and abuse ourselves to deal with powerlessness and in the case of bullies and others they externalize their powerlessness. “Frequently the person who feels out of control is obsessed with the need to be in control.” (Page 69).

One of the most resilient beings on earth
“Hey! You matter! Try to be good today ok?!”

26 March 2022 Spring

Check out 26 March 2022 Saturday chat (spring) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1437351008

One of my neighbors trees. The bees were loving it!
Grape Hyacinth (I think) I thought it was a blue bonnet like in Texas at first glance
Spring peaking up through winters debris

Hello to you. How are you? Hope this finds you well. I dreamt about my dog Spot again last night. She was running loose for some reason and found me. I miss her but she’s living her best life right now so grateful about that. She and I share dreams pretty often.

Yesterday I walked over to the Sunrise Cafe (https://www.theoriginalsunrisecafe.com/) for breakfast and got to witness one of those God moments. A man with a cane walked in and sat down at a booth by himself. Then the main waitress went over and sat across from him. She noticed he was wearing a hospital bracelet and asked him about it. He said he was having some “medical stuff” going on. One of the the things was cancer. He was going through chemo. After she left I then had the courage to say hello too. What was so beautiful was his smile. For all that he was dealing with he was still smiling. Your attitude when your facing adversity really makes a difference in how things will go for you. The Sunrise is becoming my go to place ! Good food and good people both who work there and the customers.

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit talks about how sometimes we have to let go of our problems that might be going on that we just don’t know what to do about and make space for spiritual solutions….”let God on it!”

“When we loosen our grasp on our concerns, there is room for the spiritual essence of all life to move through us in such a way that healing occurs.” – Carol Sheffield

I will not be caught in a problem today if I am quiet and ready for the solution. Stillness engulfs me now.

This morning I was looking through my books and decided to take out a book of poetry written by a family friend named Tom Snooks. He struggled and died from cancer many years ago. It made me think of the man from the restaurant who is currently struggling. The poem I want to share is one he wrote about spring:

Tom prefaced his poems with what prompted him to write it.
Is it Spring?

25 March 2022 Little Pieces

Check out 25 March 2022 Friday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1436265682

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Last night my Aunt, three friends of hers and I went to see the opening night of Matilda at the Nampa Civic Center. We made it through the first half and decided that was enough. The little girl that was cast as Matilda just didn’t resonate with us. For example for the first song none of us could understand what she was singing and it was loud. My favorite character was Miss Agatha Trunchbull. The man playing the part was hilarious. As with most things in the performance arts, the performer will either resonate with you or they won’t. Not everyone likes Bono from U2 for example. The little girl just didn’t resonate with me. That’s not saying she wasn’t talented or anything like that. So that was interesting and it’s the first time I’ve driven at night here!

I was thinking about my post yesterday about how I see, experience and understand God. What came to me as an example of how complex it must be to answer even the smallest of prayers was a family meal. Think about some of the meals you make, even just the trip to the grocery store. So many little pieces go into even just a hot dog or peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s like an episode of How It’s Made but for each and every part of the meal. I think about all the people involved with the life of food, machinery, climactic conditions like floods or droughts, the health of the animal stock, fuel prices….so many little pieces have to fit together for just one hot dog! When I began thinking about how complex it is to make a family meal or even feeding just one person, it made me think of what it must be like to be God answering or not answering a prayer. How complicated it must be to have everything in alignment…..so many little pieces. Sometimes pieces seen as insignificant or not relevant but if they are missing things can’t happen. I truly believe that behind every unanswered prayer there is a reason. The other thing to remember too is sometimes what we want and are asking God for isn’t possible…..realistic. Sometimes the answer isn’t how we expect it and we miss it. Sometimes we have to wait for answer. Just like with putting together a meal – all the individual pieces in all the ways those individual items come to reality have to be acquired for that meal to happen! I think Covid has shown us a lot about how dependent we are on each other – like factory workers and truck drivers for example.

The other thing I thought about yesterday with regards to answered and unanswered prayers – people in particular. What is often overlooked is the individual will of the people we are praying for. We don’t know what they want for themselves. We don’t know what kind of conversations they are having with their Higher Power. For example we might find out someone has cancer and immediately begin praying they be cured. What if the person doesn’t want to be cured? What if they want things to be over with? Again….not as simple as things may seem. I think about what we are told Jesus said when he prayed about the sparing of his own life…(Luke 22:42) 42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup(F) from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Jesus had his own relationship with God. The apostles could pray for his life to be spared but Jesus was already working things out with God for himself.

Little pieces of the big picture to consider when you are deciding if you do or don’t believe in God. The stuff I’m sharing is what strengthens my personal relationship with The God of my understanding.

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit were good. Sometimes when people get into recovery and are feeling better they try to make up for lost time. They try to do too much at once. It’s important to remember that even doing a small part, a little piece of what you want to accomplish is enough:

I don’t train for a marathon when I simply want to run five mile races. -Patricia Roth Wuertzer

Today I’ll remind myself that I don’t have to complete a big project every day. Making some progress is enough.

23 March 2022 Finding Comfort

Check out 23 March 2022 Wednesday chat(AA Step 3) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1434295003

Trees have started budding here
I had to talk to God and myself this morning while feeling anxiety

Hello to you. How are you? Today began with one of those anxiety attacks I get once in awhile. I think it has to do with sleep apnea but I’m not sure. I just know I kind of freaked out. I had to pull out some tools from my sanity toolkit to get myself calmed down. I started with talking to God and went to the Bible to try and find comforting messages. I looked through so many chapters….the concordance for anxiety and comfort and just couldn’t find what I was looking for. It came to me to try the “Big Book” from Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically Step 3….made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I ended up making my Twitch Stream today mostly about this step. When I initially entered into the program this step was hard. My sponsor reassured me that it didn’t have to be just the God of the Bible that I turned my will….surrendered to. It had to be a power that wasn’t me. It was me that got me into the mess I was in. Chances were that it wasn’t going to be my own will that was going to get me free. I just had to acknowledge I was powerless over alcohol (among other things of an addictive nature), admit I had a problem and then, most importantly, be WILLING to ask for help….accept help the way it came. What I realized using this program is if you get to the core of why addiction happens there are fewer what’s. A lot of people I met in AA were self medicating – they had a lot of “why’s” they were covering up with alcohol. They needed therapy and either couldn’t get it or would rather have the stigma of being an alcoholic than the stigma that comes with mental illness. When I look at my own life with help and by myself, there were so many why’s to my addictions. I kept trying to fill voids in my life with people, places and things. Many of those voids were of an intangible nature. You can’t put tangible things in the space where only the intangible dwells.

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today had to do with friendship. The power we learn through the program is we can choose better friends. Here is a thought provoking part of the message:

“We may not have picked our friends carefully in our youth. Many of us felt pressured to hang out with a crowd that didn’t share our values. We frequently lived up to their expectations of us rather than our own. The internal conflict was painful, and we may still suffer from it.”

My choice of friends today reflects the health of my recovery.

________

It’s pretty easy to tell who are true friends are in life. They are the ones who are still there for you and comfort you as you clean up the mess you’ve made. I consider many members of my family also as dear friends! When we are young it feels like we don’t have a great power of choosing – so much is chosen for us!

Speaking of friendship! Last night Astravert did a wonderful collaboration with some fellow musicians on Twitch:

Check out astravert afishinabirdcage bagelrabbit COLLAB https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433997448

22 March 2022 World Water Day and Remembering Chris Cornell

Check out 22 March 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433418732

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well today. I found out it’s World Water Day – water is life! There are simple things each of us can do to help conserve our most precious of resources. Stuff as simple as turning off the tap when your brushing your teeth. Taking shorter showers. Not rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I found this National Geographic video that is short but shows some good examples of places where efforts are being made to preserve waterways- so many lives, not just human, depend on them:

https://youtu.be/aYNHNcmBxJM – The Worth of Water (National Geographic)

Here are some examples of lives awakening this spring that need water too:

Last night I couldn’t sleep and this song sung by Chris Cornell of Audioslave popped into my head:

https://youtu.be/KwKcMdiq60s – Audioslave Show Me How to Live (lyrics)

https://chrisandvickycornellfoundation.org/ – last night I had Chris Cornell on my mind and in my late night internet wandering found out about this.

The night before Chris died I had a disturbing dream of being pulled through my bedroom ceiling. Finding out he had strangled himself really hit me hard. His music was some of the first music my husband shared with me. In particular I Am the Highway. Songs like Be Yourself have comforted me through so many difficult times. His struggles and manner of death really bothered me. With my own journey with alcohol dependency for a time hearing of his battles really touched my heart. Addiction is a disease that so many lose the battle with….Chris was one such casualty. I’m glad his family got some peace with their law suite: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/chris-cornell-family-settlement-doctor-1166269/amp/

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

When we are all wrapped up in ourselves, we present a very small package to others. – Georgette Vickstrom

Today I can put aside my tendency to look at every circumstance in relationship to myself. With God’s help, I can put my attention on others.

12 March 2022 Programming

Check out 12 March 2022 Saturday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1423415704

I’ve been dreaming more again

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. It’s a sunny Saturday here. My first night on the new mattress went pretty well. I had lots of dreams so know that I actually fell asleep!

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit had to do with how we process what our external world says about us. Says we should be. Says what we are. It’s all programming! When we were younger we didn’t have boundaries or an internal filter… life experience to be able to discern whether or not what the world and the people in our lives said to and about us. I know I mostly absorbed external inputs as truths whether they were true or not! I think that’s why it’s so rough for young people on social media. They don’t have the maturity to discern what is true and what isn’t….for many it’s all truth and that’s were self harm, suicide and eating disorders come in. What we put into our bodies and souls goes into our brain and becomes thoughts which then become action….the manifestation of our living reality. It’s so important to really pay attention to what we put into our CPU aka brain. Garbage in….garbage out!

The message today is so good I decided to put it all in this post. You become what you think about the most….what you “worship.” Put good stuff into yourself!

A Woman’s Spirit:

The subconscious works to create the reality according to the programming it has been fed.- Susan Smith Jones

The mind is seldom quiet. Even when we don’t think we are thinking, we are. Our lives reflect our thoughts. It should be obvious that the way to get a better life is to think better thoughts. If it’s that easy, why don’t we have more productive, joy-filled lives?

As youngsters we learned to interpret the faces and the comments of those close to us. That helped us determine how to evaluate ourselves as adults.

Just as the messages we heard in the past told us who we were, the messages we hear now do likewise. But as adults, we can now decide which messages to accept: some we should cherish, many we should discard. We have the maturity now to replace them at will.

I don’t have to accept how anyone defines me today. I can give myself only positive input. My output will reflect it.

https://youtu.be/zHDrHRmaQjQ -Anilah Medicine Chant