7 May 2023 Heart

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m just back from church – wasn’t sure if I was going but I did go. There are so many nice people that go and as I get regular with my attendance, the more people I get to know. The next event the ladies are having is a Ladies Tea on the 20th. My Aunt and I are planning on attending.

Todays message was more about the life of Abraham. The part we went over was when Abraham’s wife didn’t want to wait any longer for the God promised baby and she suggested Abraham conceive with Hagar the slave. The message about that was when we push our will instead of waiting can cause heart ache. The other message, and this has come up before, is how our hearts can’t be trusted. I wanted to put up my hand and disagree! One of my favorite sayings is from a 1920’s movie called Metropolis “the mediator between the head and hands must be the heart.” That silent movie was about how ruthless a business person can be without using their heart. As a woman and an empath I use my heart a lot! Sadly that’s probably why I have so many labels and mental health issues.! So much inner conflict between my brain and my heart.

I understand the intent of the message is to encourage us to get closer to God and not lean completely on our understanding but as I’m experiencing lately – God has been really quiet and without using my heart, I wouldn’t keep going to church and try to find a way to serve God and the community.

The world can be a heartless place – all you have to do is look at a news feed or talk to someone. It’s hard to find and achieve balance between using my heart and leaning on God. How can you love others as you should love God and yourself without using and trusting your heart?!

There is so much conflict for me with how we are taught to operate in this world. On the one hand we are taught to turn inward and find God and wisdom. There is emphasis on prayer and meditation which comes from within and then flows out. On the other hand we are taught that our inner selves are unreliable and inherently bad . We are taught to look outside ourselves for guidance and wisdom. This was what I learned in AA and all the church’s I’ve been to. I was taught I’m not trustworthy on my own. How can be turning inward to where the Holy Spirit is supposed to be bad? Where does the Holy Spirit within us reside? Where does our souls energy reside?

I am still learning and have to trust God will show me his truth.

I guess I don’t like to hear that on my own I’m not a good person. I have spent a lot of my life in therapy to deal with low self esteem issues! That’s probably not what is intentioned in todays message but that’s what I heard and keep hearing. That’s the tough job of a Pastor I guess – sometimes to tell us not what we want to hear but need to hear? Pastor Jason said it was a hard sermon for him to write and I can see why!

One of my drawings – this was during one of my more creative phases

Acts 2 : 2-4

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues[a] as the Spirit enabled them.

5 May 2023 Direction

What gives you direction in life?

Hello to you. Hard to believe it’s Friday again. Today is the celebration of Cinco Demayo and my exe in-laws 44th wedding anniversary. It’s so rare that people stay together that long. Even though I’m no longer married to their son I still consider them to be family. Once I love you it takes a lot for me to stop loving you. They are good people!

Todays prompt makes me think. I have never really had a direction in my life other than wanting to be a good person but it’s not been easy. Wanting to please God has flitted through my life, not to displease my family and friends has also been a reason for a direction. As I’ve mentioned before, as a young child and teenager I wanted to be famous but let go of that when I saw what fame does to peoples lives. Another primary direction has been not wanting to be forgotten. Since I never had children I have no one to pass my legacy on to.

A primary director, the Holy Spirit, seems quiet if not silent in my life. For so many years I felt I had a close connection. I could write, sing, draw, paint and make jewelry and other things. It’s probably just my being in an in between place right now. I think it’s also the medication I’m on that prevents mania from happening. Taking Lithium is different than taking Depakote and Zyprexa. I kind of miss the creativity and spirituality that comes with being manic. I think another reason for the lack of direction is the fact I’m still healing from my wounds these past couple of years. I am trying to stay open to God – to the Holy Spirit. I don’t think God is done with me yet!

A drawing I did back in 2015. I named it 7712 but I remember thinking of the title “Waiting” for it. I miss drawing like this – it’s like my creativity spigot is completely closed.

Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

11 November 2022 Veterans Day

Not my best but have to get back into practice

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today is Veterans Day. A day that exists because of great sacrifices of so many men and women living and dead. I always say the best way to thank me for my service is to try and make it so there are fewer veterans….more peace and less war. I don’t know if I will ever see that but that is my wish for the world!

When I was an AIC

41 July 2022 Faces

These are some of my drawings. The glory, the “payment” goes to God.

23 July 2022 God’s Plan

Stiff Kittens

Song by Blaqk Audio

OverviewLyricsVideosListen

Main Results

We’re all still the same dear
I have owned this life forever
I’ll always remain
If it’s just the same dear
Why have you left before “forever?”
Yet returned
Again?

If you show me heaven
I will meet you there

How it breaks their hearts
That we’ve made an art
Of desecrating our
Sanctuaries
Sanctuaries

We’re one and the same dear
You were born for this forever
Forget your restraint
Remnants of a past here
Pass like light through dust as memories
Fall fleeting
Like pain

If you show me heaven
I will meet you there

How it breaks their hearts
That we’ve made an art
Of desecrating our
Sanctuaries

Sanctuaries
Sanctuaries

How it breaks their heart

Desecrate our
Sanctuaries
Desecrate our
Sanctuaries
Desecrate our
Sanctuaries

Desecrate…
Our sanctuaries

How it breaks their hearts
That we’ve made an art
Of desecrating our
Sanctuaries

How it breaks their hearts
That we’ve made an art
Of desecrating our

Sanctuaries

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Jade Errol Puget / David Paden Marchand

Stiff Kittens lyrics © Blaqknoise Music

21 June 2022 Job 38

The petals of the peony give way to reveal a star

Hello to you. How are you today? The past couple days I’ve noticed some disturbing headlines but something that I haven’t really seen much concern about is the drought in the Horn of Africa. There has been talk about drought all over the United States…or flooding. What are we doing with the fresh water resources when they do come? When floods come are we prepared to collect it?

The March-May 2022 rainy season is
likely the driest on record. At least 18.4
million people are already waking each day
to high levels of acute food insecurity and
rising malnutrition across Ethiopia, Kenya
and Somalia, and this figure could increase
to 20 million by September. Jun 10, 2022
[W https://reliefweb.int » report › ethiopia
Horn of Africa Drought: Humanitarian
Update, 10 June 2022 – ReliefWeb
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How many products are currently being made that use water – are they wants or needs? California is in a horrible drought but still allows swimming pools. Doesn’t make any sense to me. People all over the world needing fresh water, to include ourselves, and we play in it.

For the past couple of days I have been reading and re-reading a powerful exchange in the Bible between God and man. Job 38 The Lord Speaks. I think about so much going on in our world where it seems like everybody either wants to usurp God, deny God, or be a God in the absence of a tangible presence. All that’s missing is Golden Calves and I think there are many of those around. I know I don’t have all the answers but I do know who does. We will rise and fall for many generations but in the midst of all those “changes” an unchanging, merciful God remains to stand the tests of eternity:

Job 38New International Version

The Lord Speaks

38 Then the Lord spoke to Job(A) out of the storm.(B) He said:

“Who is this that obscures my plans(C)
    with words without knowledge?(D)
Brace yourself like a man;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.(E)

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?(F)
    Tell me, if you understand.(G)
Who marked off its dimensions?(H)Surely you know!
    Who stretched a measuring line(I)across it?
On what were its footings set,(J)
    or who laid its cornerstone(K)
while the morning stars(L) sang together(M)
    and all the angels[a](N) shouted for joy?(O)

“Who shut up the sea behind doors(P)
    when it burst forth from the womb,(Q)
when I made the clouds its garment
    and wrapped it in thick darkness,(R)
10 when I fixed limits for it(S)
    and set its doors and bars in place,(T)
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;(U)
    here is where your proud waves halt’?(V)

12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning,(W)
    or shown the dawn its place,(X)
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
    and shake the wicked(Y) out of it?(Z)
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;(AA)
    its features stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,(AB)
    and their upraised arm is broken.(AC)

16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
    or walked in the recesses of the deep?(AD)
17 Have the gates of death(AE) been shown to you?
    Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?(AF)
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?(AG)
    Tell me, if you know all this.(AH)

19 “What is the way to the abode of light?
    And where does darkness reside?(AI)
20 Can you take them to their places?
    Do you know the paths(AJ) to their dwellings?
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!(AK)
    You have lived so many years!

22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow(AL)
    or seen the storehouses(AM) of the hail,(AN)
23 which I reserve for times of trouble,(AO)
    for days of war and battle?(AP)
24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,(AQ)
    or the place where the east winds(AR)are scattered over the earth?(AS)
25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
    and a path for the thunderstorm,(AT)
26 to water(AU) a land where no one lives,
    an uninhabited desert,(AV)
27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland
    and make it sprout with grass?(AW)
28 Does the rain have a father?(AX)
    Who fathers the drops of dew?
29 From whose womb comes the ice?
    Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens(AY)
30 when the waters become hard as stone,
    when the surface of the deep is frozen?(AZ)

31 “Can you bind the chains[b] of the Pleiades?
    Can you loosen Orion’s belt?(BA)
32 Can you bring forth the constellations(BB) in their seasons[c]
    or lead out the Bear[d] with its cubs?(BC)
33 Do you know the laws(BD) of the heavens?(BE)
    Can you set up God’s[e] dominion over the earth?

34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds
    and cover yourself with a flood of water?(BF)
35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?(BG)
    Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
36 Who gives the ibis wisdom[f](BH)
    or gives the rooster understanding?[g](BI)
37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
    Who can tip over the water jars(BJ) of the heavens(BK)
38 when the dust becomes hard(BL)
    and the clods of earth stick together?(BM)

39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
and satisfy the hunger of the lions(BN)
40 when they crouch in their dens(BO)
or lie in wait in a thicket?(BP)
41 Who provides food(BQ) for the raven(BR)
when its young cry out to God
and wander about for lack of food?(BS)

The animated film I am sharing is a synopsis of much going on in this world – showing what has been done for profit and the consequences:

https://youtu.be/j800SVeiS5I – In Shadow – A Modern Odyssey – Animated Short Film

The children committing crimes of today were made. I saw a report of a 21 and 24 year old stealing and selling gas. Why did they think this was a good idea? Because people bought it from them! From inside the womb experience to their setting foot on the earth to the life they were told they would and should have. A lot of unmet expectations. Unmet expectations and empty promises manifest a seed of resentment. There is plenty of food for a seed of resentment to bloom. Keeping promises, unconditional love and acceptance, mercy, generosity of time, proper and meaningful education can turn a thistle into a rose. Don’t hate what you make when it comes to children – God doesn’t. Children are newborns to over 100 years old and some have fur, feathers and scales. Stop teaching hate.

https://youtu.be/1qQUFvufXp4 – Masaru Emoto Water Experiments

13 June 2022 Earth School

Examples of the Golden Ratio in nature coexisting together

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope your doing ok! Todays post is a reflection of some exploring, questioning and learning I’ve been doing lately. When you live alone and are a nerd like I am you have time for such things! I have so many questions for Earth School! I know most people visiting my blog don’t exactly have a lot of time for themselves or for learning unless they have a specific question or are officially in a learning situation like going to school. May be something here will interest you too – I hope! If this is too much for one visit – I encourage you to come back when you can. Sending you love energy and a virtual hug.

What are you learning in Earth School today?

Romans 1:20New International Version

20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made,(A) so that people are without excuse.(B)

https://medium.com/@gautamnag279/what-is-so-special-about-the-number-1-61803-7e0bbc0e89e2

Why is the golden ratio called the God ratio?

The Golden Ratio (phi = φ) is often called The Most Beautiful Number In The Universe. The reason φ is so extraordinary is because it can be visualized almost everywhere, starting from geometry to the human body itself! The Renaissance Artists called this “The Divine Proportion” or “The Golden Ratio”.May 5, 2019

https://medium.com › …

What Is So Special About The Number 1.61803? | by Gautam …

Learned something new today when I was wondering about some of the environmental impacts of drilling for oil in the United States. You don’t get something for nothing or even cheap. Ultimately some cost will be paid either immediately or over the course of time:

Subsidence – sinking of the ground because of underground material movement—is most often caused by the removal of water, oil, natural gas, or mineral resources out of the ground by pumping, fracking, or mining activities.Apr 15, 2021

https://oceanservice.noaa.gov › facts

What is subsidence? – National Ocean Service

https://www.blueridgeoutdoors.com/go-outside/does-oil-drilling-cause-sinkholes-or-earthquakes/?amp

In cases where other liquids don’t move in, such as in the North Sea off The Netherlands, the porous rock layer that harbored the oil originally can collapse after extraction, causing slight amounts of land settling (known as “land subsidence”) in the rock layer surfaces above, but typically no more than a few tenths of an inch per year.

Here in the U.S., land subsidence induced by the large volume extraction of underground resources including oil and gas “is more common than most people realize,” according to the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS), a government agency which collects, monitors, analyzes and provides scientific understanding about natural resource conditions, issues and problems. Flat coastal plains and wetlands near sea level are most at risk from this potential side effect.

Have you ever heard of the term transpiration? I hadn’t either but when I was finding out about part of where our fresh drinking water comes from this term came up:

https://kids.kiddle.co/Transpiration

Transpiration is the evaporation of water from plants, especially leaves. It is a type of translocation and part of the water cycle. The amount of water lost by a plant depends on its size, the light intensity, temperature, humiditywind speed, and soil water supply.The process of Transpiration helps in regulating temperature in the plant.

Transpiration was first worked out by Stephen Hales (17 September 1677 – 4 January 1761), an English clergyman. He proved what is still believed, that the evaporation of water molecules from leaves is the main force pulling the water column up from its origin in the roots.

How transpiration works

Leaf surfaces are dotted with openings called stomata, which act rather like pores. In most plants there are more on the undersides of the leaves than on the top. The stomata are bordered by guard cells that open and close the pore. Transpiration happens when the guard cells open the stomata. This lets oxygen and water vapourflow out, and carbon dioxide flow in. The carbon dioxide is used in photosynthesis, and the oxygen is produced by photosynthesis.

https://youtu.be/YeOw-wJR9fc – Leaf Transpiration (experiment) what is transpiration?

A lot of people single and with families are struggling financially right now with the prices of most everything increasing – inflation. Sometimes getting confused about the difference between a want and a need can contribute to the daily struggle. In the times we are in it’s important to know the difference and set priorities accordingly. There are a lot of things I used to do and buy that I realized I could do without because they aren’t essential to my survival and in some cases were harmful to the environment – so many chemicals, packaging and trash! I used to waste a lot of money on these things I didn’t need and a lot of it just ended up down the drain or in a landfill:

https://study.com/academy/lesson/the-difference-between-wants-vs-needs-in-economics.html

Wants, Needs and Economics

Quite simply, the economic definition of a need is something needed to survive. In economics, the idea of survival is real, meaning someone would die without their needs being met. This includes things like food, water, and shelter:

“A want, in economics, is one step up in the order from needs and is simply something that people desire to have, that they may, or may not, be able to obtain. Again, with those two simple definitions, it doesn’t seem like there should be much to talk about, but there is. Economics deals with how we allocate scarce resources, and those scarce resources may be needed to meet someone people’s needs and other people’s wants. So, we do need to talk about wants and needs.”

A fun song I have been enjoying:

https://youtu.be/3EoI-6lQFIE – The Contours Do You Love Me

10 June 2022 Beautiful Reminders Of The Kingdom

Hello to you, I hope this post finds you well today. Link and I are doing pretty well which I am so grateful about. So much going on every second we live. I’ve been praying for the world. Yesterday I looked at the Fortune 500 and gun manufacturer list. Found out the Ar-15 is no longer made by Colt but by a Czech company CZG-Ceska Zbrojovka Group. I’ve begun to follow the money, goods and services of the world with my thoughts and prayers.

Yesterdays walks were without Link. I finally found what was bothering his foot – a sharp seed had embedded itself in the fur of his paw. He was so pissed at me for fiddling with and pulling it out! Growling and making faces at me and he was so apologetic about it lol! Kind of like a crabby lion just needing a thorn removed from his paw.

Anyhew what I saw on the walk yesterday reminded me of my Grandma Schmidt and her amazing roses. As I saw, smelled and touched them it was like her saying hello to me…..joining me on the walk. Sometimes when I stayed with her and Grandpa we would go for walks. God and this earth are so comforting with ways like this to remember and experience those we have loved and lost:

I also think often of Saint Therese Lisieux (https://www.littleflower.org/st-therese/frequently-asked-questions/) when I am experiencing the beauty of Gods creation. Learning about her taught me that life isn’t just about “big things” we do and that occur in a lifetime. There are so many little things, seemingly minute details, that if left undone the world is incomplete. We all have a part in Gods plans…..great and small. It’s important to do our part the best we can.

Luke 17 The Coming of the Kingdom of God(W)

20 Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come,(X) Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, 21 nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’(Y) because the kingdom of God is in your midst.”[c]

22 Then he said to his disciples, “The time is coming when you will long to see one of the days of the Son of Man,(Z) but you will not see it.(AA) 23 People will tell you, ‘There he is!’ or ‘Here he is!’ Do not go running off after them.(AB)24 For the Son of Man in his day[d] will be like the lightning,(AC) which flashes and lights up the sky from one end to the other. 25 But first he must suffer many things(AD) and be rejected(AE)by this generation.(AF)

26 “Just as it was in the days of Noah,(AG) so also will it be in the days of the Son of Man.27 People were eating, drinking, marrying and being given in marriage up to the day Noah entered the ark. Then the flood came and destroyed them all.

28 “It was the same in the days of Lot.(AH)People were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building. 29 But the day Lot left Sodom, fire and sulfur rained down from heaven and destroyed them all.

30 “It will be just like this on the day the Son of Man is revealed.(AI) 31 On that day no one who is on the housetop, with possessions inside, should go down to get them. Likewise, no one in the field should go back for anything.(AJ)32 Remember Lot’s wife!(AK) 33 Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.(AL) 34 I tell you, on that night two people will be in one bed; one will be taken and the other left. 35 Two women will be grinding grain together; one will be taken and the other left.”(AM) [36] [e]

37 “Where, Lord?” they asked.

He replied, “Where there is a dead body, there the vultures will gather.”(AN)

https://youtu.be/CNApcyzaY60 – Sacred Spirit Yeha-Noha

For some reason recently I was lead in thoughts from Morse Code, the Enigma machine to the Navajo code talkers that saved our behinds at Iwo Jima. All of our communication is some sort of pattern, tone, pitch, code….sound….energy wave. Chester’s message here to fellow Marines resonates on many levels….”come home safe….come home in one piece.”

https://youtu.be/8JU7H4-_OAs – Chester Nez Last of the original Navajo Code Talkers

https://youtu.be/yz6qUTH1vuY – Song for Uvalde lyric video

8 June 2022 Star Rose

“Art is how we decorate space, music is how we decorate time.” – Jean-Michel Basquiat(December 22, 1960 – August 12, 1988). – my therapist shared this with me today and I just love it! I am a time traveler in my own head when it comes to the multi-sensory experience that music can be. Hearing certain songs takes me to different destinations. Sometimes it’s long ago and sometimes it’s “right now.”

I found a star rose! As is above so it is below!

It’s not just music that can be a multi-sensory experience. This picture of what I’m calling a star rose for example. When I see this picture I remember how the color made me feel when I first saw it. How the roses petals felt on my fingers. How wonderful the rose smelled. So many layers of experience in just capturing the image of a being sharing this existence.

Something fun to share with you about light being able to transmit the message of sound:

https://youtu.be/Gj_wdMU-b04 – Can you send sound on a light beam? (Mr. Wizard)

I was thinking a lot about this concept yesterday. I was thinking about refraction and other “obstacles” to using a beam of light to send a message….to receiving a message. There was another experiment Mr. Wizard does with timing the speed of a sound. There are several variables to consider with how fast we receive a sound. Think about “dead stars” in space. We see them still shining long after their life cycle has ceased. It takes that long for the message of change to travel to us…. the light and sounds in waves and particles crossing such great distances. I think of what the girl did in the video I’m sharing with you. She was holding the flashlight and sending the signal of light and sound information but all it took was her putting her hand in front of the flashlight to obstruct the signal.

Allium flower – the process this flower has taken to get to this picture has seemed like something from another planet!

Allium, also called Ornamental Onion, is one of the most interesting blooms in the spring and summer garden. With a spherical shape that holds its form throughout the season, it’s one of the longest lasting blooms to be had from a bulb.

https://www.americanmeadows.com ›

Allium Flower Bulbs – American Meadows

I want to take a moment to thank all those who have been praying for me with the pain I’ve been experiencing. It helps! I also wanted to share that there is power in prayer for not just people. Link has been experiencing something with his back foot and I worked through old fears about it, prayed and let God on it. The boy got some rest last night and quit messing with his foot! God seems to care for all of creation not just people.

I have been finding music like this helpful. The varying frequencies of musical energy can reach parts of us that nothing else can:

https://youtu.be/ywPriq-D4J4 – 777 hz angelic code, repairs DNA code, manifest miracles, release negative energy

4 June 2022 Angel Sounds

Walking by the canals yesterday with Link, we were treated with the sight of a wild Iris! I love surprises like this ❤️

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing pretty good as I write to you today. This morning I had gone back to sleep and had one of those vivid dreams I’ve talked to you about before. It’s like being alive in a parallel world from your own. For a brief moment I saw a dog that looked like a pug, standing by a window much like mine. Coming through the blinds was a single point of light and the dog seemed to be reacting to it. It looked like the lights I see sometimes. It wasn’t a normal light you might expect to see and I startled awake!

Yesterday I spent most of the day singing and exploring music. Doing this helped a lot in trying to lift the depression I’ve been experiencing lately. The other thing about singing and listening to music is it helps with body pain too. Music is an amazing energy in its many forms. It can reach all parts of us and evoke energetic miracles. I think of The Music and Memory Organization saying this (https://musicandmemory.org/)

Here are are a couple sounds in addition to the Tanpura I found yesterday, kind of had angels on my mind:

https://youtu.be/DyjPdNFEZC0 – Audioslave Like a Stone (finger style guitar and vocals) Lucas Imbiriba

https://youtu.be/DE7_VtGIR8o – Matt Redman Angels (singing Gloria) (Lyrics and Chords) feat Chris Tomlin

https://youtu.be/uujxyfqrDg4 -Judikay – Song of Angels – Ndi Mo Zi –

https://youtu.be/_j13d5eFgQk – Libera – Angel (performed live at Universal Studios Japan)

https://youtu.be/wxgfnEkxkMI – Angels singing caught on tape (Jesus Norway) – it’s up to you as to what you think of this recording. It would be amazing to think angels voices can reach us!

https://youtu.be/hGnvp9KzimA – Rhythmic Sounds- Close or Far- Mei-lan Maurits

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1493509553 – Astravert session yesterday (Justin Carter)

I loved seeing and hearing someone who normally paints murals doing some singing too: https://fb.watch/drflU6Ktw_/ – Muralist Tony Stafki