5 April 2022 Feeling Peace

April 5, 2022April 5, 2022 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Movies, Music, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Television, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 5 April 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1447098869

Hello to you today. I hope this finds you well. To be honest I’m struggling a bit today. The more it seems that I seek what’s good in the world the more the opposite extreme seems to try to get in my view.

I decided to watch The Chosen yesterday and I am enjoying it so far. The scene when Jesus heals “Lilith” real name Mary really touched me. When he puts his hands on her head and brought her peace she could feel I thought of that scene from the Davinci Code when Sophie touches Robert Langdons head. I thought of all the times Kyle used to do that to me when I was thinking too much. A simple and beautiful gesture…..feeling peace….relief from too many mind. If your curious You can get the Chosen app from the Apple Store. Here is a link: http://www.thechosen.tv/app or search “The Chosen”

Yesterday we got a little bit of rain but it was weird. Our cars all looked like they had been washed in mud! https://idahonews.com/amp/weather/adventure-starts-with-weather/milky-rain-nope-but-cars-in-the-treasure-valley-will-be-especially-dirty-monday –

“Are your cars dirty after the rain? The culprit is strong winds blowing lakebed dust near Summer Lake OR toward the Boise, Nampa, Meridian area,” the NWS wrote on social media.

Message from A Woman’s Spirit today:

My life is filled with the evidence that I am lovable. God has not forgotten me. Everywhere I look today, I’ll see a gift.

I know times are ruff right now but it’s going to be ok! Do what I do and be happy right now. Stop worrying about all that stuff you can’t or won’t do anything about. Be good ok?

John 14:15-31New International Version

Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

¹⁵“If you love me, keep my commands.^(A)¹⁶And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate^(B) to help you and be with you forever— ¹⁷the Spirit of truth.^(C) The world cannot accept him,^(D) because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be^[a] in you. ¹⁸I will not leave you as orphans;^(E) I will come to you.^(F)¹⁹Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me.^(G) Because I live, you also will live.^(H) ²⁰On that day^(I) you will realize that I am in my Father,^(J) and you are in me, and I am in you.^(K) ²¹Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me.^(L) The one who loves me will be loved by my Father,^(M) and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

I Look To You – just the voice in song I needed to hear today. Beautiful Whitney.

25 March 2022 Little Pieces

March 25, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 25 March 2022 Friday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1436265682

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Last night my Aunt, three friends of hers and I went to see the opening night of Matilda at the Nampa Civic Center. We made it through the first half and decided that was enough. The little girl that was cast as Matilda just didn’t resonate with us. For example for the first song none of us could understand what she was singing and it was loud. My favorite character was Miss Agatha Trunchbull. The man playing the part was hilarious. As with most things in the performance arts, the performer will either resonate with you or they won’t. Not everyone likes Bono from U2 for example. The little girl just didn’t resonate with me. That’s not saying she wasn’t talented or anything like that. So that was interesting and it’s the first time I’ve driven at night here!

I was thinking about my post yesterday about how I see, experience and understand God. What came to me as an example of how complex it must be to answer even the smallest of prayers was a family meal. Think about some of the meals you make, even just the trip to the grocery store. So many little pieces go into even just a hot dog or peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s like an episode of How It’s Made but for each and every part of the meal. I think about all the people involved with the life of food, machinery, climactic conditions like floods or droughts, the health of the animal stock, fuel prices….so many little pieces have to fit together for just one hot dog! When I began thinking about how complex it is to make a family meal or even feeding just one person, it made me think of what it must be like to be God answering or not answering a prayer. How complicated it must be to have everything in alignment…..so many little pieces. Sometimes pieces seen as insignificant or not relevant but if they are missing things can’t happen. I truly believe that behind every unanswered prayer there is a reason. The other thing to remember too is sometimes what we want and are asking God for isn’t possible…..realistic. Sometimes the answer isn’t how we expect it and we miss it. Sometimes we have to wait for answer. Just like with putting together a meal – all the individual pieces in all the ways those individual items come to reality have to be acquired for that meal to happen! I think Covid has shown us a lot about how dependent we are on each other – like factory workers and truck drivers for example.

The other thing I thought about yesterday with regards to answered and unanswered prayers – people in particular. What is often overlooked is the individual will of the people we are praying for. We don’t know what they want for themselves. We don’t know what kind of conversations they are having with their Higher Power. For example we might find out someone has cancer and immediately begin praying they be cured. What if the person doesn’t want to be cured? What if they want things to be over with? Again….not as simple as things may seem. I think about what we are told Jesus said when he prayed about the sparing of his own life…(Luke 22:42) ⁴²“Father, if you are willing, take this cup^(F) from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Jesus had his own relationship with God. The apostles could pray for his life to be spared but Jesus was already working things out with God for himself.

Little pieces of the big picture to consider when you are deciding if you do or don’t believe in God. The stuff I’m sharing is what strengthens my personal relationship with The God of my understanding.

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit were good. Sometimes when people get into recovery and are feeling better they try to make up for lost time. They try to do too much at once. It’s important to remember that even doing a small part, a little piece of what you want to accomplish is enough:

I don’t train for a marathon when I simply want to run five mile races. -Patricia Roth Wuertzer

Today I’ll remind myself that I don’t have to complete a big project every day. Making some progress is enough.

23 March 2022 Finding Comfort

March 23, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 23 March 2022 Wednesday chat(AA Step 3) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1434295003

I had to talk to God and myself this morning while feeling anxiety

Hello to you. How are you? Today began with one of those anxiety attacks I get once in awhile. I think it has to do with sleep apnea but I’m not sure. I just know I kind of freaked out. I had to pull out some tools from my sanity toolkit to get myself calmed down. I started with talking to God and went to the Bible to try and find comforting messages. I looked through so many chapters….the concordance for anxiety and comfort and just couldn’t find what I was looking for. It came to me to try the “Big Book” from Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically Step 3….made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I ended up making my Twitch Stream today mostly about this step. When I initially entered into the program this step was hard. My sponsor reassured me that it didn’t have to be just the God of the Bible that I turned my will….surrendered to. It had to be a power that wasn’t me. It was me that got me into the mess I was in. Chances were that it wasn’t going to be my own will that was going to get me free. I just had to acknowledge I was powerless over alcohol (among other things of an addictive nature), admit I had a problem and then, most importantly, be WILLING to ask for help….accept help the way it came. What I realized using this program is if you get to the core of why addiction happens there are fewer what’s. A lot of people I met in AA were self medicating – they had a lot of “why’s” they were covering up with alcohol. They needed therapy and either couldn’t get it or would rather have the stigma of being an alcoholic than the stigma that comes with mental illness. When I look at my own life with help and by myself, there were so many why’s to my addictions. I kept trying to fill voids in my life with people, places and things. Many of those voids were of an intangible nature. You can’t put tangible things in the space where only the intangible dwells.

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today had to do with friendship. The power we learn through the program is we can choose better friends. Here is a thought provoking part of the message:

“We may not have picked our friends carefully in our youth. Many of us felt pressured to hang out with a crowd that didn’t share our values. We frequently lived up to their expectations of us rather than our own. The internal conflict was painful, and we may still suffer from it.”

My choice of friends today reflects the health of my recovery.

________

It’s pretty easy to tell who are true friends are in life. They are the ones who are still there for you and comfort you as you clean up the mess you’ve made. I consider many members of my family also as dear friends! When we are young it feels like we don’t have a great power of choosing – so much is chosen for us!

Speaking of friendship! Last night Astravert did a wonderful collaboration with some fellow musicians on Twitch:

Check out astravert afishinabirdcage bagelrabbit COLLAB https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433997448

22 March 2022 World Water Day and Remembering Chris Cornell

March 22, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, books, dreams, Health, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 22 March 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433418732

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well today. I found out it’s World Water Day – water is life! There are simple things each of us can do to help conserve our most precious of resources. Stuff as simple as turning off the tap when your brushing your teeth. Taking shorter showers. Not rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I found this National Geographic video that is short but shows some good examples of places where efforts are being made to preserve waterways- so many lives, not just human, depend on them:

https://youtu.be/aYNHNcmBxJM – The Worth of Water (National Geographic)

Here are some examples of lives awakening this spring that need water too:

Last night I couldn’t sleep and this song sung by Chris Cornell of Audioslave popped into my head:

https://youtu.be/KwKcMdiq60s – Audioslave Show Me How to Live (lyrics)

https://chrisandvickycornellfoundation.org/ – last night I had Chris Cornell on my mind and in my late night internet wandering found out about this.

The night before Chris died I had a disturbing dream of being pulled through my bedroom ceiling. Finding out he had strangled himself really hit me hard. His music was some of the first music my husband shared with me. In particular I Am the Highway. Songs like Be Yourself have comforted me through so many difficult times. His struggles and manner of death really bothered me. With my own journey with alcohol dependency for a time hearing of his battles really touched my heart. Addiction is a disease that so many lose the battle with….Chris was one such casualty. I’m glad his family got some peace with their law suite: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/chris-cornell-family-settlement-doctor-1166269/amp/

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

When we are all wrapped up in ourselves, we present a very small package to others. – Georgette Vickstrom

Today I can put aside my tendency to look at every circumstance in relationship to myself. With God’s help, I can put my attention on others.

19 March 2022 Now Is All We Can Control

March 19, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, history, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 19 March 2022 Saturday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1430452912

Willow tree I just love in our neighborhood

She has a huge trunk I think it’s so pretty

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Saturday and overcast. The sun is peaking out a little bit. Yesterday was nice. I went to breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe and was blessed – a couple that were in there with me paid for my breakfast! I was really touched by that. I got a couple walks in with Link. It was during the evening walk I snapped the pictures of this Willow tree down the street. I just love it! This neighborhood has some lovely mature trees.

The message in A Woman’s Spirit is really good. It reminds us that we can’t control or change the past or future. What we can control about ourselves is right now. We are not powerless in our present moment.

A Woman’s Spirit message for today:

With one foot in the past and the other in the future, how can we possibly know what new path we might follow today? -Jan Pishok

Now is all there is. But how often, really, are our minds in the present? Honestly, aren’t we much more focused on what just happened or what we fear will happen in the next hour or day or year? Being here, now, means giving up the past absolutely. It also means relinquishing all thoughts about the future. Occupying our minds with the experience of this instant only seems hard to do. We’re far more used to greater chaos than what we experience solely in the here as now.

We have a direction that’s right for us. Unfortunately, we miss the road signs because we are still looking over our shoulder at what we passed yesterday. The destiny we need, needs us too. Quietly focusing on our lives , one moment at a time, can assure us of fulfilling it.

Letting go of the noise I carry in my mind changes my life. I can feel and acknowledge what’s here when my mind is open.

_______________

It’s important to remember that we can’t change the past. We can learn from the past but we can’t change it. Working on staying mindful in our present can leave a better past behind us.

Song I started my day with today:

https://youtu.be/TTXBLspw_Z0 – Paul Baloche God of Wonders

17 March 2022 Dwell In Me God

March 17, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 17 March 2022 Thursday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1428406120

Hello to you in your where and when as you visit me here. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I’m doing ok. I had to redo my stream on Twitch because I got invaded by some trolls. It happens. Thankfully I can ban them!

“Dwell in me God. Be strong when I am weak”

Sometimes we are faced with people, places, things and or situations where we just don’t know what to do. Sometimes the only answer is to be still and ask God for help. I have to do that a lot. I have to get myself to shut up both in my head and out of my mouth – be willing to just listen. I fail a lot but keep trying!

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit kind of talks about letting God into our daily lives:

I don’t always know what I want, but I do know what I don’t want. -Helen Neujahr

We don’t want pain or confusion in our lives. We don’t want friends to depart. We don’t want a boss to be too demanding. And we don’t want to lose control of the outcomes that are unfolding around us every day. There is so much we don’t want. How lucky we are to be in this program and to have a caring Higher Power to help us handle the situations that we don’t want in our lives.

We need the help of a Higher Power because we seldom know what is really best for us. Had we had our way in years past, we most likely would not be recovering. Instead, we may have stayed in a relationship that was quietly killing us, or we may have killed someone’s else or ourselves because of our addiction. God had a better plan for us then; God continues to have a better plan for us now.

We must be ready to relinquish that which we think we want if the evidence confronting us suggests God thinks differently. We must let hindsight offer us enlightenment regarding God’s better plan.

I will trust God to direct my thoughts and my actions. I will try to want what God wants for me today.

___________________

Lately I have been asking God to just be with me. The message in the drawing was a little prayer yesterday. I have been struggling in my body with being heavier and pain in my legs. The issues of this world feel heavy. The only real escape has come from my thoughts and prayers. I talk to God as I would my dearest friend, with my heart,”Hey God do you want to hang out with me today?”

https://youtu.be/7IIZIPtQuW8 – Passion – God Your So Good (live) Kristian Stanfill, Melodie Malone

12 March 2022 Programming

March 12, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, dreams, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 12 March 2022 Saturday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1423415704

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. It’s a sunny Saturday here. My first night on the new mattress went pretty well. I had lots of dreams so know that I actually fell asleep!

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit had to do with how we process what our external world says about us. Says we should be. Says what we are. It’s all programming! When we were younger we didn’t have boundaries or an internal filter… life experience to be able to discern whether or not what the world and the people in our lives said to and about us. I know I mostly absorbed external inputs as truths whether they were true or not! I think that’s why it’s so rough for young people on social media. They don’t have the maturity to discern what is true and what isn’t….for many it’s all truth and that’s were self harm, suicide and eating disorders come in. What we put into our bodies and souls goes into our brain and becomes thoughts which then become action….the manifestation of our living reality. It’s so important to really pay attention to what we put into our CPU aka brain. Garbage in….garbage out!

The message today is so good I decided to put it all in this post. You become what you think about the most….what you “worship.” Put good stuff into yourself!

A Woman’s Spirit:

The subconscious works to create the reality according to the programming it has been fed.- Susan Smith Jones

The mind is seldom quiet. Even when we don’t think we are thinking, we are. Our lives reflect our thoughts. It should be obvious that the way to get a better life is to think better thoughts. If it’s that easy, why don’t we have more productive, joy-filled lives?

As youngsters we learned to interpret the faces and the comments of those close to us. That helped us determine how to evaluate ourselves as adults.

Just as the messages we heard in the past told us who we were, the messages we hear now do likewise. But as adults, we can now decide which messages to accept: some we should cherish, many we should discard. We have the maturity now to replace them at will.

I don’t have to accept how anyone defines me today. I can give myself only positive input. My output will reflect it.

https://youtu.be/zHDrHRmaQjQ -Anilah Medicine Chant

1 March 2022 Tuesday

March 1, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 1 March 2021 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1412137597

Hello to you. How are you today? We are having a gray and overcast morning. It was rough last night. I had trouble getting to sleep last night.

Lots of birthdays this month. Today is my cousins wife and my Uncles wife birthday. Happy birthday!

Today’s Twitch Stream touched on several topics. One was money. I don’t feel like there is anything wrong with it but if you make it the primary motive for doing things life can be so empty. It’s an energy just like anything else – what you do with it. The other thing we talked about is how this world is really crazy right now. It’s a time to really look for the helpers….to be one of the helpers in these times in whatever way you can. Something simple everyone can do is with prayer and meditation. Turn your thoughts and your heart toward things of the Spirit….to the God of your understanding. Be one of the lights. I know it’s hard. I’m struggling with this myself!

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

“ The journey to a new life – physically, mentally , and spiritually —includes the joy of rediscovering a faith that had been lost.” – Louise A. Rice

“I will let my faith work in my life today. Nothing has to upset me,”

“Recovery is an intensely spiritual process that asks us to grow in our understanding of God. “ – Melody Beattie

“Believing in God’s presence today will make every experience rich with meaning. I am not alone, now or ever. “

A message from Fred Rogers about looking for the helpers: https://youtu.be/NB5uSHCIgS0

Human Family by Maya Angelou: https://youtu.be/eL_ofpwicsc

I note the obvious differences
In the human family.
Some of us are serious,
Some thrive on comedy.Some declare their lives are lived
As true profundity,
And others claim they really live
The real reality.The variety of our skin tones
Can confuse, bemuse, delight,
Brown and pink and beige and purple,
Tan and blue and white.I’ve sailed upon the seven seas
And stopped in every land,
I’ve seen the wonders of the world
Not yet one common man.I know ten thousand women
Called Jane and Mary Jane,
But I’ve not seen any two
Who really were the same.Mirror twins are different
Although their features jibe,
And lovers think quite different thoughts
While lying side by side.We love and lose in China,
We weep on England’s moors,
And laugh and moan in Guinea,
And thrive on Spanish shores.We seek success in Finland,
Are born and die in Maine.
In minor ways we differ,
In major we’re the same.I note the obvious differences
Between each sort and type,
But we are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.

I pray for the people in conflict right now be it a person at war with themself to entire countries like the Ukraine and Russia. I pray for all leaders in this world that God will give them wisdom and enlighten them to see a future of light.

26 February 2022 Responsible Creation

February 26, 2022February 26, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Movies, Music, Nature, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How’s your day going? I’m getting a late start to the day. I just didn’t want to get out of bed!

Check out 26 February 2022 Saturday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1408892493 my

Todays Twitch stream was good. We talked about a lot of stuff today! Addiction, the choice to have pets, psalm 26, different cultures living together, world peace, technology and responsible creation. One of my viewers asked if I feel like technology has brought people together and my answer was yes but it’s also a bit of an illusion. With technology I’m able to communicate with people all over the world – something without technology I wouldn’t be able to do. Without technology my life would be very lonely….but I have to remind myself that technology isn’t a replacement for one to one contact. Technology can’t replace what happens between people having face to face contact.

I wish there were more visionaries in the world of creation. So much of our worlds operations is based on short sightedness. How much money will this make me? Not how will this be a benefit to mankind. Follow from creation and through the entire life cycle of what is being created – where is what I want to create going to end up? Taking responsibility for our creations. When I really started thinking about my crafts and hobbies I ended up stopping a lot of what I was doing! I liked to paint but realized the environmental impact of my enjoying it – the paint in the water for example. One area of late that I am concerned about with this is robotics. I would like to see more vigilance….more regulation but it’s already kind of too late! Anyways, talked about a lot today.

“Focus on how we are the same not how we are different.” – me

My thoughts and prayers are with the people of the Ukraine and Russia – any part of our shared world that is in conflict of any kind. We must learn to focus as a world on what we have in common not how we are different – what separates us. It’s like taking out your mental gratitude list. Once you think of one thing a whole bunch of others come to your mind! I just hope everything is going to be alright with all of this.

I highly recommend this video – we are all responsible for the “stuff” that gets manifested in this world: https://youtu.be/9GorqroigqM

ob·so·les·cence/ˌäbsəˈlesəns/Learn to pronouncenoun

the process of becoming obsolete or outdated and no longer used.”computers are infamous for their rapid obsolescence”

The Ocean Clean up Project: https://youtu.be/8HQEd_IX6A8. I’m very proud there are young people like Boyan Slat in the world.

4 February 2022 What brings us Together

February 4, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 4 February 2022 Friday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1286643827

Hello. How are you? How is your day going so far? We have lovely sunshine this morning and I got some sleep last night. Lots to be grateful for!

The Twitch stream this morning was interesting. We talked a lot about food and I shared a couple recipes. I have one viewer that loves to joke about potatoes because I’m from Idaho. We agreed that it’s food and music that brings us together. Both of them use more than one sense to enjoy. Eating and listening to music is a multi-sensory experience and are things common to all walks of life. We fight about most everything else don’t we?!

A new viewer joined us and shared a story about his brother being bullied and beat up and we talked for a long time about that subject! This particular viewer was from England. Bullies go way back! I was bullied at school. I think it’s all too common a thing that happens in the science experiment that is public school. Being a bully is taught and learned. Now with all sorts of social media and video game platforms this kind of behavior has migrated there. The phrase “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” isn’t really true in a modern digital world. Words do hurt.

Last night I called my Aunt ad I was feeling lonesome and kind of anxious about trying to go to sleep. We talked and she recommended this psalm that she said she reads to my Uncle if he is having trouble sleeping:

Psalm 23New International Version

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹The Lord is my shepherd,^(A) I lack nothing.^(B)
²    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,^(C)
³    he refreshes my soul.^(D)
He guides me^(E) along the right paths^(F)
    for his name’s sake.^(G)
⁴Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,^[a]^(H)
I will fear no evil,^(I)
    for you are with me;^(J)
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table^(K) before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;^(L)
my cup^(M) overflows.
⁶Surely your goodness and love^(N) will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.