23 March 2022 Finding Comfort

Check out 23 March 2022 Wednesday chat(AA Step 3) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1434295003

Trees have started budding here
I had to talk to God and myself this morning while feeling anxiety

Hello to you. How are you? Today began with one of those anxiety attacks I get once in awhile. I think it has to do with sleep apnea but I’m not sure. I just know I kind of freaked out. I had to pull out some tools from my sanity toolkit to get myself calmed down. I started with talking to God and went to the Bible to try and find comforting messages. I looked through so many chapters….the concordance for anxiety and comfort and just couldn’t find what I was looking for. It came to me to try the “Big Book” from Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically Step 3….made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I ended up making my Twitch Stream today mostly about this step. When I initially entered into the program this step was hard. My sponsor reassured me that it didn’t have to be just the God of the Bible that I turned my will….surrendered to. It had to be a power that wasn’t me. It was me that got me into the mess I was in. Chances were that it wasn’t going to be my own will that was going to get me free. I just had to acknowledge I was powerless over alcohol (among other things of an addictive nature), admit I had a problem and then, most importantly, be WILLING to ask for help….accept help the way it came. What I realized using this program is if you get to the core of why addiction happens there are fewer what’s. A lot of people I met in AA were self medicating – they had a lot of “why’s” they were covering up with alcohol. They needed therapy and either couldn’t get it or would rather have the stigma of being an alcoholic than the stigma that comes with mental illness. When I look at my own life with help and by myself, there were so many why’s to my addictions. I kept trying to fill voids in my life with people, places and things. Many of those voids were of an intangible nature. You can’t put tangible things in the space where only the intangible dwells.

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today had to do with friendship. The power we learn through the program is we can choose better friends. Here is a thought provoking part of the message:

“We may not have picked our friends carefully in our youth. Many of us felt pressured to hang out with a crowd that didn’t share our values. We frequently lived up to their expectations of us rather than our own. The internal conflict was painful, and we may still suffer from it.”

My choice of friends today reflects the health of my recovery.

________

It’s pretty easy to tell who are true friends are in life. They are the ones who are still there for you and comfort you as you clean up the mess you’ve made. I consider many members of my family also as dear friends! When we are young it feels like we don’t have a great power of choosing – so much is chosen for us!

Speaking of friendship! Last night Astravert did a wonderful collaboration with some fellow musicians on Twitch:

Check out astravert afishinabirdcage bagelrabbit COLLAB https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433997448

4 thoughts on “23 March 2022 Finding Comfort

  1. Sister in Christ you sure have your focus right!
    Good that you used the tools in your tool kit; a little art work tossed in as well! You spoke of lasting help and that caused me to think how nothing is lasting here in this life! The everlasting is God! I don’t always say things the best way but I try from the heart to say truth as I see and understand it! Life is toxic, just living in the flesh is a constant battle to first stay alive or functioning to a decent standard or level to get through the day; but our flesh existence is at war in a sense with all kinds of outside influences. If we just take it one day at a time and manage to do even just OK then we are ready to do the same the following day and onward into the future trying hopefully to do God’s will not our own and serve Him alone living a purposeful life based on what God knows is best for each of us! My father would always say to us growing up that you need to have routine and good habits that you form by living each day doing what first God put you on this earth for and then like both parents said to just do the best you can each day. I bring this up because I see how I’ve done it to myself where I put too much unnecessary pressure on; thinking I have to perform like a champion or something beyond my capabilities, but instead when I think now all God is saying is to listen to Him quietly when alone, and pray, that He guides every step we take; thereby having trust in the Lord to lead us onto His righteousness and glory!

    I’ve heard from some friends or even family about panic attacks and I see how that can be debilitating but I never had one myself other than I got overly anxious or emotionally tensed up and that is bad too. I hear people say they mediate or pray when getting this way and get calmed down, so that makes sense to me for any person to just step back and relax getting calmed down, and to then realize that there really is nothing to fear but fear itself, because life goes on and we while living must just go on and take it one step at a time; being always hopeful that we can handle it but also aware that ultimately no matter what happens even when it’s time to leave this life, if we have followed the basic requests that God Himself asked of us, that we have something so wonderful waiting beyond this flesh life.

    “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak;” but I say the flesh doesn’t dictate my overall existence; God will take care of it all!

    Say it this way; I figure, death makes claims and has it on flesh at least in the end when its dead, but, the soul belongs and responds to the Holy Spirit of God Himself, so let us allow our souls to be the focus of our daily lives, being in God’s hands. Amen.
    Have a blessed evening!
    Brother in Christ Jesus,
    Lawrence

  2. Reblogged this on Zero Lift-Off and commented:
    Sorry I was in a rush and thought a few minutes later that this posting was too important to just make my comment and move on. I should actually take it a step further and reblog it!

    Sister in Christ you sure have your focus right!
    Good that you used the tools in your tool kit; a little art work tossed in as well! You spoke of lasting help and that caused me to think how nothing is lasting here in this life! The everlasting is God! I don’t always say things the best way but I try from the heart to say truth as I see and understand it! Life is toxic, just living in the flesh is a constant battle to first stay alive or functioning to a decent standard or level to get through the day; but our flesh existence is at war in a sense with all kinds of outside influences. If we just take it one day at a time and manage to do even just OK then we are ready to do the same the following day and onward into the future trying hopefully to do God’s will not our own and serve Him alone living a purposeful life based on what God knows is best for each of us! My father would always say to us growing up that you need to have routine and good habits that you form by living each day doing what first God put you on this earth for and then like both parents said to just do the best you can each day. I bring this up because I see how I’ve done it to myself where I put too much unnecessary pressure on; thinking I have to perform like a champion or something beyond my capabilities, but instead when I think now all God is saying is to listen to Him quietly when alone, and pray, that He guides every step we take; thereby having trust in the Lord to lead us onto His righteousness and glory!

    I’ve heard from some friends or even family about panic attacks and I see how that can be debilitating but I never had one myself other than I got overly anxious or emotionally tensed up and that is bad too. I hear people say they mediate or pray when getting this way and get calmed down, so that makes sense to me for any person to just step back and relax getting calmed down, and to then realize that there really is nothing to fear but fear itself, because life goes on and we while living must just go on and take it one step at a time; being always hopeful that we can handle it but also aware that ultimately no matter what happens even when it’s time to leave this life, if we have followed the basic requests that God Himself asked of us, that we have something so wonderful waiting beyond this flesh life.

    “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak;” but I say the flesh doesn’t dictate my overall existence; God will take care of it all!

    Say it this way; I figure, death makes claims and has it on flesh at least in the end when its dead, but, the soul belongs and responds to the Holy Spirit of God Himself, so let us allow our souls to be the focus of our daily lives, being in God’s hands. Amen.
    Have a blessed evening!

    Brother in Christ Jesus,
    Lawrence

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