Tag: Jesus Christ

15 April 2022 A Different Kind of Friday

by saymber, posted in books, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Movies, Music, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? In a little bit I will be going to join some others to help set up church for tonight’s Good Friday observance. In light of what is being remembered, I’ve always had a hard time thinking of this day as good. A good man was tortured, he suffered and died on a cross with criminals. What could possibly be good about that?’ What I’m reminded is good about today is he went through all that for us….so we wouldn’t have to. He took all of the world on himself out of love for both his father and each of us. It’s truly a beautiful thing to think about someone loving me that much to go through everything he did.

Good Fri·day

/ˈˌɡo͝od ˈfrīˌdā/

Learn to pronounce

noun

  1. the Friday before Easter Sunday, on which the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ is commemorated in the Christian Church. It is traditionally a day of fasting and penance.

Last night I was restless and wanted to watch something. I was pleased to find and watch (finally! My cousin and his wife recommended this to me over a year ago!) The Case For Christ. It was the story of author Lee Strobel an atheist who after a journey of discovery and love found his way to believing in Jesus Christ. The movie did a really good job of showing what having a believer and an unbeliever living in the same house with children can really cause disruption….division. Test a marriage. My ex-husband and I went through some of that strife. If you haven’t seen it and are curious, I saw it on You tube.

https://youtu.be/pBcNvSA1kNo – The Case For Christ (full movie)

As you can see by my note and the date I’ve struggled with sleep for a long time. This is another scripture of comfort. You can talk to God about anything you need help with!

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is a good one for what we are remembering today….forgiveness:

Work for justice. Struggle for forgiveness. Choose love. -Patricia Benson

Justice, forgiveness, and love sound far loftier than they are. Developing these qualities requires only that we live as we think God wants us to live. It’s as simple as that. Admittedly, when we have wanted to punish a significant person in our lives, we have often preferred “justifiable” anger or resentment over love. However, the emotional hangover that has followed the expression of our outrage has diminished any pleasure we might have gained.

Our inclination to forgive other people and ourselves, coupled with our decision to love rather than punish those who irritate us, seems to grow daily. Our changed perspective comes from our willingness to grow in recovery. We can be as peace-filled and as loving as we want. We’re in charge!

I will stay in control of who I am today. I can fulfill God’s wishes.

In all the mysteries of mysteries there is light both seen and unseen. Matthew 5:16
New International Version

16 In the same way, let your light shine before others,(A) that they may see your good deeds(B)and glorify(C) your Father in heaven.

https://youtu.be/y4CY3nf1Mvw – Phil Wickham Great Things (song)

8 April 2022 Longing and Silence

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, books, drawing, history, Leading Life by Example, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you today. How are you? I am doing ok. The past few days I have been feeling this feeling of longing. Watching The Chosen has sparked these feelings I think. I watch it and find myself wanting a tangible Jesus in my own life. To be able to stand in his smile and warmth. Hear his voice. Ugh lol! Feeling feelings like this can be rough. I decided not to do my normal Twitch Stream this morning. Sometimes there needs to be silence.

The tough part for me about Jesus is he was once flesh and blood. He was here. He made a promise to come back and thousands of years have passed and all we have are his words. I think about him coming back now…in this kind of world and I think it would destroy him. Think of what the spotlight via the technology we have now does to people!

The message today in A Woman’s Spirit talks about the importance of silence:

Silence should be used sparingly. But used, nonetheless. -Stephanie Ericsson

When we want to control another’s actions, being quiet is difficult. Our ego screams to take charge! When we bite out tongue instead, remembering the Serenity Prayer, we are spared an unnecessary confrontation. Occasionally quieting our mouth, if not our mind, promises big payoffs in our relationship with others.

Silence wears many guises, however. We have all experienced the punishing silent treatment from lovers or friends. And our attempts to engage others in conversation are occasionally met with a silence that confuses us. Another’s quietness may not be easily understood, but we must accept it.

Silence, particularly our own, is requisite to receiving guidance from our Higher Power. Being silent is often the most valuable action we can take.

I will consider being silent each time an opportunity to respond offers itself today. Doing the right thing may well mean doing and saying nothing.

——————-

Bees are really digging the dandelions right now. The flowers are an important food source.
On our walk last night these purple beauties caught my eye!

A character in The Chosen story, Nicodemus, portrayed by Erick Avari has really touched my heart. I could just feel his sadness as Jesus and his apostles gathered to head out on their journey. He just couldn’t leave his life behind so he left gold coins to help them on their way. I wonder if any of us these days could easily leave our lives behind to follow Jesus if he asked us. Nicodemus and his wife were talking about Hagar, Abrahams wife and mentioned a verse carved around a door. I thought it was beautiful. Hagar referred to God as El Roi, “The God Who See’s me.” It spoke to my longing to experience a tangible God. I must remember that God can be seen…in all creation.

Genesis 16:13New International Version

13 She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,(A)” for she said, “I have now seen[a] the One who sees me.”(B)

6 April 2022 A Tangible World

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, books, Food, Home, Leading Life by Example, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 6 April 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1448162389

Hello to you. How are you? I hope you are well. Today I got out of my comfort zone and went to a Middleton Woman’s Group. They had their first meeting at our local bakery called The Rustic Oven. All of the ladies were recent transplants from various parts of California like the Bay Area. It was interesting to hear the different reasons they left California. For some it was the politics and others stuff like the fires. It was a nice first meeting. I went from interacting purely in the digital world to interacting in the tangible world. I got out of my comfort zone!

I had an orange roll here was really yummy. Got a chance to meet some nice ladies!

Today there was a good message in A Woman’s Spirit:

We can say yes to life even at its darkest moments if we can see it as part of the greater reality. – Mary Norton Gordon

We glimpse only the opportunities that bear our name during any experience. We have heard many times in this program that we are never given more than we can handle. We can trust that this is true. We have also heard that God tells us only what we need to know right now; the rest will come to us when we are ready, when the time is right. That too we can count on as truth.

It goes without saying, then, that every moments experience is part of the bigger design for our lives, a design that always has a positive outcome. If we feel scared or confused by the changes in our lives, it’s only because we have forgotten that God is in charge of the plan for our lives. We can say yes and be at peace.

I know that what comes to me today is a tiny part of God’s big plan for my life. I am not alone.

———————-

Some pictures from my walks yesterday and this morning:

Matthew 19:14New International Version

14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs(A) to such as these.”(B)

5 December 2021 Sunday

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you? I’m doing ok. I decided to take a break from the videos this morning and just write and draw. We have sunshine! So happy about that! I will have to get Link out for a walk later.

The drawing today is a combination of a bunch of things! I’m being told intuitively that the man isn’t Deegan this time. I have always thought of Jesus as having a skeleton key to all doors to include those within peoples hearts. What do you see in this drawing?

I was curious to see if keys are mentioned in the Bible and there are a couple references one of which is Matthew 16:19 “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven;” and then the other is in Revelations 20:1 And I saw an Angel coming down out of heaven, having the key to the Abyss and holding in his hand a great chain.

A lot to think about.

It’s almost time to get another sketchbook or try color again. I have a sketchbook my Aunt bought for me awhile ago that you use colored markers with. Things don’t flow as confidentially when I use color. I’m always afraid I will make a mistake !

I raked a little more this morning. The leaves are all wet and heavy and there is Link “presents.” I don’t have any work gloves to pick the stuff up. I’ll get it figured out. I miss the Alvarado house sometimes – having a garage and all the tools I needed.

Not much else from here. I hope your having a nice day.

10 November 2021 Grandpa

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, dreams, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs
From left to right my Grandpa Harold Becker with his brothers Herman and Robert. Robert turned 100 this year!

I am thinking of my Grandpa today. If you knew him he would have brought a smile to your face. He was always cracking jokes and laughing….”put your money where your mouth is kiddo!”

My Grandpa took his own life due to depression after a stroke back in September of 2000. When I found out he had done this I was worried about his soul. I asked God to show me he was alright and some time later I had this dream. I dreamt that my Grandpa was in my body and we danced! We danced with my first husband Ken. Then we told my Grandma who was his ex wife that I would see her on the other side. He told his wife Charlie that he was sorry for what he had done (taking his own life). Then we tripped and Grandpa popped out of my body. The next thing I saw was him way off in the distance preparing to go into a church. He yelled “there is life after death if you believe in Jesus Christ!” Then I woke up. That dream helped me so much!

I miss my Grandpa but feel certain he is ok. There has always been this belief that if you take your own life you are either going to hell or purgatory. The dream I had seemed to show something else. My Grandpa served God most of his life as a Pastor but after my Mom took her own life he really questioned everything he knew. I believe he lost his faith. He was so tormented about her death. I can remember as a little girl in the dining room of my house in Sioux Falls sitting with Grandpa and his just looking at me and sobbing “I’m so sorry!” I think he gave up on God but God didn’t give up on him. I don’t think my dream was just a coincidence. I asked God if Grandpa was ok and the answer was that he was. He just needed a little help!

“Open my mind God so that I might see that the path is short between you and me.”

6 November 2021 Where Does Energy Go

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, books, drawing, history, In the News, Movies, Music, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Good morning to you. It’s morning yet in my here and now. Hope this finds you doing well. I have my probably too sweet cup of coffee and my writing buddy Link. I’ve been thinking about something the past couple of days. It has to do with energy.

So you are sitting in a theater watching a movie with a bunch of of other people. The movie has really strong characters. You feel intently about these characters. You cry, you laugh, you get angry and may be even find yourself imagining being in the circumstances of the characters. Then it’s over. Roll credits. After the movie you talk about it. You might read about it in a magazine or on a news feed on your phone. Later comes the award shows and red carpet premiers of the people in the movie. The movie is released to the public and you buy a copy of the film. You watch it again at home . Sometimes you will think of specific lines from the movie and use them in your own life. Eventually comes the day the movie goes on a shelf and it’s not forgotten but superseded by another film. This process I’m talking about applies to television shows too.

What I’ve just described is a life.

There is a tremendous amount of energy focused on these characters born out of imagination. Where does all that energy go when we are done with it? Many of these characters become part of an actor or actress’s identity. They become known for the characters they play and some of those characters are so dark in their nature. I’m thinking of Heath Ledgers Joker and Aaliyahs Akashi. The darkness they bring is often lauded and emulated. It’s not contained on the screen. There is a sort of life lived through our living eyes… our bodies. Whether the character is good or bad they have achieved immortality. There is proof they existed.

It’s not just fictional characters that attain immortality. As I sit here I think of the trillions of “avatars” God has used through time. Some flashing for a mere second and others hours. Think about all the social media posts and YouTube. All those people and these days animals all immortalized. How about books ? Magazines, newspapers and photographs ?

All of us saying in numerous ways “Remember me!” “ I existed!” It kind of makes me ache inside. So much of what we are now is electronic. I have a hard drive full of important stuff and all it took was a couple drops on the tile and I can’t access that stuff anymore! All it takes is a cell phone to stop working and thousands of pictures are lost. The movie, television and book industry is a little more secure by making and selling millions of copies of their merchandise but even that is fading to live stream and online streaming . Existence is fragile in the electronic world. All it takes now is a power outage and tangible immortality is gone.

Where are we headed with all that we have created? I know it’s meant to be entertainment but sometimes it feels like I’m living in a world filled with golden calves. So much energy…so much adoration lavished on these imagined people and worlds. Giants on the big screen so we won’t be bored on our long journey to other worlds together.

To be “saved” usually means to accept Jesus Christ as your savior but what I see in our world is your image being saved on some device. If we didn’t have written copies of the Bible even Jesus would be lost in time. He said he would come back but didn’t say how. How many versions of his life have been made in television and movies?

A lot to think about here. Time keeps marching on. Technology keeps evolving. Where are we headed in out quest to survive? To not be lost in time? To not be bored?

1 November 2021 Conditional Love

by saymber, posted in Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi. I am home from an appointment with my therapist. Some really profound things came up. I had to write about it and hope may be something will resonate with you.

The first thing that came forth was when I was talking about my ex and how I was holding on to our past. How I felt like my holding on to our past was keeping me from moving forward . How I felt holding on to my past was a visceral thing I could actually feel in my head. Like an invisible force holding me back. Well my therapist said something pretty profound. She said “his love for you was conditional.” I felt that so deeply! I immediately felt a warmth in my chest. I thought of Jesus and unconditional love. How I had expected a human being to love me like Jesus and he just couldn’t. Lots of tears processing that! It was a truth I hadn’t considered.

The second thing was I have this huge circle of memories he and I shared and so many of them are good! Powerful! I am so afraid that if I go forward and make new memories that I will leave that past I love behind. I don’t want to let go. My therapist was like “ your holding on to nothing.” He went out of his way to get me a hard copy of the divorce decree. There is literally nothing to go back to! I have to move forward whether I want to or not. Again, more tears! When you talk things out it can bring forth really intense emotions. In case you didn’t already know for yourself, being divorced sucks!

I’m glad I drove to the office day!

21 October 2021 Labels

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you today? It’s another crisp fall day. Many of the trees in our neighborhood have lost their leaves. A few have resisted and are vibrant shades of red and gold yet. My sidekick Link is here beside me. I’m so grateful for him.

Labels. I have them.

I am 53 years old and have been a product of the mental health system since about 1991. My primary diagnosis, the primary label is that I’m bipolar. If you are unfamiliar with that term it’s basically having high highs and low lows and the battle is to keep things in the middle or balanced. The primary medication I take is lithium. I’ve tried a lot of other drugs but they didn’t work. The other part of my particular label is anxiety and I take zyprexa for that.

This condition has really fucked my life up.

Something that happens to a bipolar person is what’s called episodes. We can get manic or really high and there really isn’t any reasoning with us. For me I got it in my head that I didn’t want to be on medication anymore. The past couple of years I was manic (high) and refused to take medication and be admitted to a hospital. There was a terrible price to be paid for that- my family was torn apart. I ended up losing my husband, one of my dogs and my house. Something similar happened to my first marriage.

So the common theme of my episodes was the spirit world. This last time I thought I was channeling spirits. People like me are vulnerable to these sorts of things. I wonder if my faith had been stronger if that sort of thing would of happened . There are energy forces at work in all directions. I felt like I was a play thing of these energies. I would get extremely angry. For about two months I was channeling a Joker like energy. It was exhausting because such an energy could see every side to an argument – it just went on and on! During one of my earliest episodes I thought I was Jesus! I guess that sort of thing is common with people like me .

I have been medically retired from the Air Force since 16 Sept 2002. I have not had a job since then. I have done volunteer work but it almost always ended up in a manic situation.

I’m sharing this part of myself to may be help someone else who is either like me or has someone like this in their life and they don’t know what to do.

https://youtu.be/snI9ggCp5xE – Bipolar wars channel on you tube

9 October 2021 Unconditional Love

by saymber, posted in human rights, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? It’s a very sunny Saturday. The air is crisp and the trees are really starting to shed their leaves. I am blessed to have had a visit with family this morning.

This morning I’m thinking about unconditional love . What is it? Most times that kind of love gets associated with God and our pets and I think it’s because human beings let us down. There is only so much a human being can take. There is only so much a human being can give. How many times can you forgive someone who abuses you over and over again be it verbally or physically? It seems like only someone like Jesus can forgive like that.

I am experiencing a situation in my life where I am left wondering if I should try and be like Jesus or accept my humanity. I’m left struggling with this decision. I know that if I continue to try and love and care about this person it will damage me. My self preservation is kicking in.

Are human beings even capable of what Jesus asked of us? To love our neighbors as ourselves? Does it mean I don’t love myself if I don’t love my neighbor? If I stop loving my neighbor?

When is it ok to think of yourself when it comes to abusive relationships? What would Jesus do ? Would he just keep forgiving ? That’s kind of what he modeled for us: “forgive them father they know not what they do.”

Is the concept of unconditional love even a realistic concept for the human being of today? Was it ever? Or was it just a concept to aspire to ? When do you give up on someone ?

Then there is the concept of tough love but that is still conditional love. Where you love somebody only if they meet certain criteria’s. It seems like the only place unconditional love can be found is from nonhuman sources.

I guess that’s why God. The only being in the universe that will love you no matter what you do or say is God. I have to caveat this though. Depending on what version of God also determines if there is unconditional love or not. Some people’s God is Old Testament hellfire and brimstone God. If it hadn’t been for Jesus we were all going to hell!

I will continue to pray about this. I would be interested to get feedback. Do you think human beings are capable of unconditional love ?

16 September 2021 Help

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you today ? I am doing ok.

This morning I did something that I haven’t done in a long time, I called for help . I didn’t call on just anyone but I called on Jesus. I focused my whole entire being on this call and I felt the response in my heart ! It was like a wound closed inside of me.

I have been reluctant about Jesus for a long time but apparently he’s not been reluctant about me ! May be my concept of God has been too big . For the past several years my concept of God has been that God is energy , that God is “all.”

The problem I’ve had with Jesus is no one has physically risen from the dead again like he and Lazarus did . He promised he would come back but what is time to a God! He didn’t say how he would return what if he already has many times but been denied as a lunatic? What if he returned as a she?!!

I guess all I can do right now is be thankful for the relief of my internal suffering. If I had called out to any other deity would I have felt the same?! May be God was expecting my call and was waiting to see if I would call Jesus ?!!

Being healed