20 April 2022 The Garden We Get To Live In

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m doing ok. Feeling grateful for the little rains we’ve been getting. What is amazing is when I go for walks with Link. Everywhere my eyes rest on beauty. This is what you get to experience getting out walking where you live.

Yesterday I found myself thinking that I’m living in a garden – God’s garden. So many different plants, flowers, trees, birds, animals and insects…..everywhere you look life is happening! Now there are the canals with water that sparkle in the sun. Yesterday Link and I just stood and listened to the rushing waters. The more I focus on the wonders of God’s creation, the more I see! Beyond the buildings, moving vehicles and pavement- the flurry of our daily lives – there is evidence of an amazing God all around us. Look and see!

Psalm 8:3-6New International Version

When I consider your heavens,(A)
    the work of your fingers,(B)
the moon and the stars,(C)
    which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?[a](D)

5 You have made them[b] a little lower than the angels[c](E)
and crowned them[d] with glory and honor.(F)
6 You made them rulers(G) over the works of your hands;(H)
you put everything under their[e] feet:(I)

Pictures from yesterday:

These blooms smell so good! So soft.
I’m like a bee when I go by this tree lol
“You can learn a lot from us dogs. Slow down, take a nap if your tired and stay in the “now” – quit worrying so much. You are eruff!”

Happiness is mine today. It’s as close as the expression of my gratitude. – A Woman’s Spirit

Whenever I hear this song I think of standing in my driveway in base housing in Florida. The moon was full and I was waiting to be with who would become my husband. He introduced me to the voice of Chris:

https://youtu.be/tLrz0vMOhU4. – Audioslave The Last Remaining Light

Roll me on your frozen fields
Break my bones to watch them heal
Drown me in your thirsty veins
Where I’ll watch and I’ll wait
And pray for the rain

Curl like smoke and breath again
Down your throat inside your ribs
Through your spine in every nerve
Where I watch and I wait and yield to the hurt

And if you don’t believe
The sun will rise
Stand alone and greet the coming night
In the last remaining light

Seven moons and seven suns
Heaven waits for those who run
Down your winter and
Underneath your waves
Where you watch and you wait
And pray for the day

And if you don’t believe the sun will rise
Stand alone and greet the coming night
In the last remaining light

And if you don’t believe the sun will rise
Stand alone and greet the coming night
In the last remaining light
Light
Light
Light

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Brad Wilk / Chris Cornell / Timothy Commerford / Tom Morello

The Last Remaining Light lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Wixen Music Publishing

19 April 2022 Surprises on Walks

Hello to you. How are you doing? I didn’t do a video for Twitch again today. It’s been about a week. I just haven’t felt up to it. It’s been hard to convince myself to get out of bed lately! I just hurt!

I was doing some surfing yesterday about joint pain and arthritis connected to having Covid. Turns out it’s indeed a thing! I’m really starting to believe what I’ve been going through is post Covid related stuff. Here is a link to one of the videos I found where a man and his wife have been experiencing joint pain after Covid: https://youtu.be/fyR9uJHCdKA – if you are experiencing inflammation and pain in your joints, like for me it’s my upper thighs and knees, this video might resonate with you. I am hoping it will eventually stop!

Despite the pain, I’ve been trying to get out for walks with Link. It’s so rewarding when I do! So much to see! There have been surprises lately too! This morning I looked down for just one minute and was amazed to see not one but two wild pansies in the edge of a yard we were passing! I struggled to get down to take the picture…..getting up made me curse gravity a bit lol….but it was worth it!

A lovely surprise for us today on the morning walk- a wild pansy!

Other pictures from yesterday and today:

The tulips are out here in Idaho – when I see them I think of my Mom. She used to grow flowers like tulips
“You make me smile…”
I noticed this yesterday in the shopping center on our walk
This beauty caught my eye even with being surrounded by so many power lines
Part of what makes each tree an individual is their bark – I love seeing trees in afternoon light
This little one made me think of a cat we used to see all the time in Alvarado TX! Love the mustache!
A blue version of the car I used to drive in Sr. High School! Mine was red. I’ll never forget Dad and I practicing stick shift in a parking lot lol!
Ridleys is the grocery store I always go to. I told the cashier I was so grateful she was there (they seem a little short handed), that I was grateful to wake up to peace and quiet and that there was food in the store…..little things people in warring parts of the world aren’t experiencing today. We are so fortunate!

My day will be dark only if I shut out the light f my Higher Power. Through my faith and my friends I can know peace – A Woman’s Spirit

https://youtu.be/bFeNjMjk0dA – Toni Cornell singing Nothing Compares 2 U in honor of her Dad Chris. Her eyes are so sad to me. This was the first song Kyle and I listened to (the Sinead O’Conner version) after we said goodbye to our sweet dog Sam. It’s hard for me to listen to for that reason but I toughed it out to hear both Chris and now Toni’s interpretation of it. She did her Dad proud I think!

18 April 2022 It Will Be Enough

Hello to you. How are you doing in your where and when? I’m getting a really late start. It took a lot of coaxing to get up today. Last night was another battle of trying to sleep. The lower part of my body has been experiencing a lot of pain and trying to sleep through that pain can be difficult.

What came to me is thinking about old dogs like my Sam and older people in my life both living and passed on. They didn’t complain about their aches and pains. The message of “it’s not what you can’t do but what you can do” came to my mind. I realized I could do some cleaning up this morning – it hurt but I did it!

When Sam and I used to go for walks without Kyle in Delaware he did something with me that he didn’t do when the three of us would walk. He occasionally would just stop, sit down and look at me with those eyes…”can we stop for a minute? I need a rest…” he seemed to say. Getting older in all our forms kind of forces us to slow down even though inside we want to go like we are still 20 year olds! Today I will remind myself that it’s ok when I am hurting. I will focus on the things I am capable of still doing even though I’m feeling this way – not focus on all the things I can’t do.

Matthew 26:41New International Version

41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.(A) The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is about approaching life with gentleness:

Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. It is like the gentle flower that grows through granite. – Patricia Hoolihan

We are attracted to women and men who have cultivated a gentle spirit. Their softness nurtured all of us who come into their space. We are soothed and made whole by their caring spirit. Let’s allow our caring spirit to develop too.

The aggression we may have grown accustomed to in our families and neighborhoods need not claim us for all time. We have the power within us to chart a new course. We have examples of gentleness all around us; they are our guides and are here by divine appointment.

Whatever task we are destined to perform in this clean and sober life can best be accomplished if directed by a heart that cares. Being gentle promises each of us the same comfort it offers others. Each gentle act heals our heart and lovingly nurtured the future.

Being gentle today is much easier than being mean-spirited. My gentle side will nurture my inner child and remove my fears.

————————-

Pictures from yesterdays adventures:

A bouquet

13 April 2022 Keep It Simple and Letting Go

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1454828924

Reminder to myself today and from my therapist too…too many mind!

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. These past couple of days, months….years have been so surreal. I was watching the news yesterday about the shooting in the subway in New York and what popped into my head was this, “look for the helpers.” When I did that I regained my personal power. I went from powerlessness to being empowered. I want to adopt this lesson with all the chaos I see in the world. Who is helping? Who’s trying to restore peace…order. Focus attention and prayer on them not those responsible for instigating the chaos. I pray for the instigators but have to let God work on them beyond a prayer.

The message from A Woman’s Spirit today is about the difficulty but importance of being able to let go. When we are overly attached to stuff of this world we suffer when things change….when we are forced to let go. We’ve all had a favorite “something” in our lives and the mere thought of letting that something go may have brought about negative emotions…pain. Just one object can symbolize such powerful emotions and trigger so many memories. Think about what happens to you when you hear a favorite song? It’s like we become time travelers going back to the moment we first heard that song – smells, sights, people, what we were eating and drinking….what we were doing. To let go is the fear we will forget. Hopefully this message is for you today:

The child in me says “Hold on”; the adult in me says “Let go.” – Harriet Hodgkin

Learning to let go is growing up. Whether we’re twenty-five or sixty-five, we have to learn to let go. We don’t do it automatically . The principles of this program can serve as a guide.

Perhaps we learned in childhood that if we didn’t want to lose our toys, we had to hold on to them. A pattern was set; we began hanging on to everything. But now it’s time for new training , for learning to let go of everything: possessions, people, attitudes, opinions. Patience and practice accomplish the growth we seek.

We must be prepared for backsliding. Some situations cry for us to hold on rather than let go. We have to be vigilant and forgive ourselves when we give in to the old urge to control. Being adult takes desire and consistent effort. The child in us doesn’t give in easily.

I have a choice today. I can handle all circumstances as an adult and feel free, or my “child” can trigger a confrontation. What will I do?

————————-

It was cold, windy and overcast yesterday but we did get our walks in:

Tulips have been appearing in the neighborhood
Big clouds were milling about
Hey – I hope you are doing good. When everything is ruff and confusing look for what’s good. Don’t focus on what’s bad.

Article talking about what they are figuring out about memories and the brain:

https://www.technologynetworks.com/neuroscience/news/many-brain-regions-store-a-single-memory-360560

A new study by scientists at The Picower Institute for Learning and Memory at MIT provides the most comprehensive and rigorous evidence yet that the mammalian brain stores a single memory across a widely distributed, functionally connected complex spanning many brain regions, rather than in just one or even a few places.

11 April 2022 Getting Well

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1452938371

Do you want to get well?

Hello to you today. How are you? I hope this finds you well. Ever since I saw this exchange portrayed on The Chosen I’ve been thinking about it:

John 5:6

6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

Yes I do…..

In the Chosen they added dialogue to the exchange. When the paralytic started to complain, Jesus was like look I asked you a question. I didn’t ask who was or wasn’t helping you. Do you want to be healed? In my Twitch stream today I talk about this. In our world the answer to healing isn’t instantaneous or lasting like it was between Jesus and those he healed. No matter what modality of trying to heal you turn to in our world today healing requires you to do something….to buy something. In our hearts we desire the healing power of someone like Jesus. There have been miracles in our times but for most there is always something they must actively do to get well, to be healed. When I was doing Quantum Touch healing a lot of times it worked but what was interesting is the healing usually wasn’t of what the person wanted healed – at least not right away. The healing usually began inside – it was an emotional healing first. A lot of what ails us does have origins in intangible things that manifest into reality. That’s been my personal experience both as a person trying to help others heal and trying to heal myself.

Some pictures from the walks yesterday:

I found this bee on the pavement and moved it to the grass. I think the cold snap we’ve been having is a shock to everyone’s system!
These little flowers are out now – so delicate
Sign of the coming weather. When Aunt Ruth and I left church yesterday little pellets of snow were falling!
Every time I see this on walks I think of a burning bush like with God and Moses. So pretty.
I love seeing the creativity people have with their yards

There are many ways to interpret my experiences today. I will be flexible and occasionally look from another’s vantage point. – A Woman’s Spirit

http://www.thechosen.tv/app

31 March 2022 Placebo Effect

Check out 31 March 2022 Thursday chat (placebo effect) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1442170547

Me pondering the question of the placebo effect….the power of belief.

Hello to you. How are you? After my post yesterday when I shared my experiences with rose quartz it made me think about the placebo effect. To me that term is like belief. There are many things in our world that we believe to be true, believe to exist but there is little to no “peer reviewed scientific evidence.” Intangible things like God and our souls and yet we continue to believe and have positive experiences. Whether or not there hasn’t been a scientific study or there has been one doesn’t matter to me…..doesn’t change what I believe or negate the value of personal experiences I have had. Whether or not science thinks so, crystals help, God and the soul exist. There is great power in belief.

What is the placebo effect? The placebo effect is when a person’s physical or mental health appears to improve after taking a placebo or ‘dummy’ treatment. Placebo is Latin for ‘I will please’ and refers to a treatment that appears real, but is designed to have no therapeutic benefit.

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au ›

Placebo effect – Better Health Channel

Amethyst beads on a bracelet. Holding them sometimes helps me when I feel anxious.

https://www.livescience.com/40347-crystal-healing.html – Crystal healing: Stone-cold facts about gemstone treatments

There is no peer-reviewed scientific evidence that crystal healing has any effect; it is considered a pseudoscience. Alleged successes of crystal healing can be attributed to the placebo effect.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org › wiki

Crystal healing – Wikipedia

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit were good today:

Even on a rainy day, I can feel the sunshine. Even when the clouds are gray, I can feel a glow. There’s a little light inside me, just keeps burning. I take it with me, everywhere I go. – Jill Clark

We carry within ourselves the single necessary ingredient for our happiness: a positive attitude. Nothing can ruin our day , unless we let it. No remark can devastate us, unless we let it. No person can have a harmful, lasting impact on us, unless we let him or her. No unhealthy, negative attitude controls our thoughts without our assent.

Feeling good about the experiences we’re having, regardless of their nature, is a decision. Trusting that some good will come out of every one of them is a habit we can form. We can acquire an attitude of hope for growth and positive change.

I will see the sunshine even through the clouds if that’s my choice. Today I have twenty-four hours to practice this.

Seeing the sun in the clouds
Some clouds yesterday that looked promising for rain

I wanted to mention my young friend on Twitch told us about another incident she and a friend experienced with bullying. This time they were coming from church and the boy was after the girls friend who has autism. He tried to punch the person and the girl tried to stop him and got punched in her chest. Whenever she gets on and tells us this stuff I feel powerless. I just want to climb through the wires and walk with her….protect her. I’m not completely powerless though. I can pray for her, lend my support and share her story.

30 March 2022 Fair

Check out 30 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1441259554

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope well. Last night was another struggle with getting sleep but God and I got through it. My head has been really full the past few days and I’ve been thinking and praying about a lot. There has been so much going on near and far that has captured my attention and care. It’s hard to wind down when I’m like that. Before bed I saw a video that added more thoughts to my head and prayers to my lips. It was about our President and his mental condition. The source was from Fox News which I expected to be cruel about this subject but Tucker Carlson wasn’t. He brought up some very valid concerns. I will let you judge for yourself if you are interested: https://youtu.be/gsOnnLts-4U – Tucker: Biden can’t regulate his emotions. Being a leader at any strata of this existence isn’t an enviable position. So much responsibility and pressure! God is working in these people. I hope to continue to see God at work. I’m already seeing glimpses of it with the war in the Ukraine. What we focus the power of our thoughts on the most is what helps God manifest those thoughts into reality. That’s how it seems to me anyways! Prayers for leaders at all levels!

Message from A Woman’s Spirit for today:

By embracing the unfair, I no longer feel fear or reflection or lack of self-esteem. – Eileen Fehlen

It’s so human to quickly label an unwanted situation as unfair and to assume we know what’s best for us. We reason that if God would answer our prayers, our lives would unfold appropriately. It’s also terribly human to have to relearn repeatedly that God’s will and God’s timetable don’t always match our own; however , without fail they serve us well.

Learning to appreciate the good in everything that comes our way makes us courageous. In time few things will fill us with fear, and that is measurable progress. We were tormented by fear for so many years that we never expected this rebirth of spirit. Life is beginning to feel inviting, exciting and safe. Let’s step forth together.

I can be certain that God will give me only what is right for me today.

—————

Today I picked up a round piece of rose quartz I have and it was so comforting. There have been several times when I’ve been sick that I have held rose quartz and felt like it helped me heal. When my friend and I went to a rock and gem show I could tell by the crowds that I’m not the only one who feels like these stones help. I know for some it seems like woo woo and that’s ok! It could be a placebo effect somewhat but like with the rose quartz orb I’m holding as I write to you – it feels good in my hand. I think of those worry stones – remember those?

Rose quartz is known as a healing crystal and the stone of unconditional love.

It’s believed by some to emit strong vibrations of love, which are thought to:

  • support emotional and relationship healing.
  • inspire compassion.
  • boost feelings of peace and calm.

https://www.healthline.com › health

Rose Quartz Crystal: Meaning, Healing, and How to Use – Healthline

29 March 2022 Control

Check out 29 March 2022 Tuesday chat (core issues) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1440224536

Sunrise and realizing I have dirty windows! Lol!
Thinking of my friend who gave me this today – she’s such a good listener and friend
I was lead to revisit this book today. It was a gift from my Aunt many years ago
One of the biggest core issues in dysfunction is control
I know it’s probably hard to read this – really good stuff. Another word for control is attachment. In Buddhism it’s taught that attachment leads to suffering. Trying to control everything often leads to addiction and abuse.
I learned about surrender through the Holy Spirit and AA

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. The direction I was lead today was to a book my Aunt gave me many years ago, Healing the Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield MD. In particular to look at core issues of dysfunctional people and one of those core issues is control also known as attachment. The book is still available if you are interested in further reading and learning: Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families https://www.amazon.com/dp/0932194400/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_DM6N7NE2ZFQ55EGW7PHB

A couple messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

Inside me is a stirring truth that is guided by my Higher Power. I am empowered by truth and joy. – Laurel Lewis

I will listen to the still, small voice within and feel secure and joyful, knowing that my actions are God’s will.

On my Twitch Stream today one of my viewers from England who is a young girl, told us about what happened to her, her brother and her brothers friend. They were attacked by bullies again. She was pushed in front of a bus by these kids! I was so hurt for her and the others attacked. The core issue I was lead to in Dr. Whitfields book, control, really applies to these bullies. Many bullies are themselves victims of violence or have been taught this behavior. Are from lives where they haven’t been in control. In order for them not to feel powerless themselves they externalize in their behaviors…. do what has been done to them. Some of these types are fortunate and some kind of intervention happens but I suspect far too many an oftentimes divine intervention doesn’t happen. They end up in jail or prison…death row. In this lifetime they just don’t learn. I’m so grateful for all the things I’ve gone through that I’ve had God who has put the right people, places and things in my life. Some of us internalize and abuse ourselves to deal with powerlessness and in the case of bullies and others they externalize their powerlessness. “Frequently the person who feels out of control is obsessed with the need to be in control.” (Page 69).

One of the most resilient beings on earth
“Hey! You matter! Try to be good today ok?!”

26 March 2022 Spring

Check out 26 March 2022 Saturday chat (spring) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1437351008

One of my neighbors trees. The bees were loving it!
Grape Hyacinth (I think) I thought it was a blue bonnet like in Texas at first glance
Spring peaking up through winters debris

Hello to you. How are you? Hope this finds you well. I dreamt about my dog Spot again last night. She was running loose for some reason and found me. I miss her but she’s living her best life right now so grateful about that. She and I share dreams pretty often.

Yesterday I walked over to the Sunrise Cafe (https://www.theoriginalsunrisecafe.com/) for breakfast and got to witness one of those God moments. A man with a cane walked in and sat down at a booth by himself. Then the main waitress went over and sat across from him. She noticed he was wearing a hospital bracelet and asked him about it. He said he was having some “medical stuff” going on. One of the the things was cancer. He was going through chemo. After she left I then had the courage to say hello too. What was so beautiful was his smile. For all that he was dealing with he was still smiling. Your attitude when your facing adversity really makes a difference in how things will go for you. The Sunrise is becoming my go to place ! Good food and good people both who work there and the customers.

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit talks about how sometimes we have to let go of our problems that might be going on that we just don’t know what to do about and make space for spiritual solutions….”let God on it!”

“When we loosen our grasp on our concerns, there is room for the spiritual essence of all life to move through us in such a way that healing occurs.” – Carol Sheffield

I will not be caught in a problem today if I am quiet and ready for the solution. Stillness engulfs me now.

This morning I was looking through my books and decided to take out a book of poetry written by a family friend named Tom Snooks. He struggled and died from cancer many years ago. It made me think of the man from the restaurant who is currently struggling. The poem I want to share is one he wrote about spring:

Tom prefaced his poems with what prompted him to write it.
Is it Spring?

25 March 2022 Little Pieces

Check out 25 March 2022 Friday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1436265682

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Last night my Aunt, three friends of hers and I went to see the opening night of Matilda at the Nampa Civic Center. We made it through the first half and decided that was enough. The little girl that was cast as Matilda just didn’t resonate with us. For example for the first song none of us could understand what she was singing and it was loud. My favorite character was Miss Agatha Trunchbull. The man playing the part was hilarious. As with most things in the performance arts, the performer will either resonate with you or they won’t. Not everyone likes Bono from U2 for example. The little girl just didn’t resonate with me. That’s not saying she wasn’t talented or anything like that. So that was interesting and it’s the first time I’ve driven at night here!

I was thinking about my post yesterday about how I see, experience and understand God. What came to me as an example of how complex it must be to answer even the smallest of prayers was a family meal. Think about some of the meals you make, even just the trip to the grocery store. So many little pieces go into even just a hot dog or peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s like an episode of How It’s Made but for each and every part of the meal. I think about all the people involved with the life of food, machinery, climactic conditions like floods or droughts, the health of the animal stock, fuel prices….so many little pieces have to fit together for just one hot dog! When I began thinking about how complex it is to make a family meal or even feeding just one person, it made me think of what it must be like to be God answering or not answering a prayer. How complicated it must be to have everything in alignment…..so many little pieces. Sometimes pieces seen as insignificant or not relevant but if they are missing things can’t happen. I truly believe that behind every unanswered prayer there is a reason. The other thing to remember too is sometimes what we want and are asking God for isn’t possible…..realistic. Sometimes the answer isn’t how we expect it and we miss it. Sometimes we have to wait for answer. Just like with putting together a meal – all the individual pieces in all the ways those individual items come to reality have to be acquired for that meal to happen! I think Covid has shown us a lot about how dependent we are on each other – like factory workers and truck drivers for example.

The other thing I thought about yesterday with regards to answered and unanswered prayers – people in particular. What is often overlooked is the individual will of the people we are praying for. We don’t know what they want for themselves. We don’t know what kind of conversations they are having with their Higher Power. For example we might find out someone has cancer and immediately begin praying they be cured. What if the person doesn’t want to be cured? What if they want things to be over with? Again….not as simple as things may seem. I think about what we are told Jesus said when he prayed about the sparing of his own life…(Luke 22:42) 42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup(F) from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Jesus had his own relationship with God. The apostles could pray for his life to be spared but Jesus was already working things out with God for himself.

Little pieces of the big picture to consider when you are deciding if you do or don’t believe in God. The stuff I’m sharing is what strengthens my personal relationship with The God of my understanding.

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit were good. Sometimes when people get into recovery and are feeling better they try to make up for lost time. They try to do too much at once. It’s important to remember that even doing a small part, a little piece of what you want to accomplish is enough:

I don’t train for a marathon when I simply want to run five mile races. -Patricia Roth Wuertzer

Today I’ll remind myself that I don’t have to complete a big project every day. Making some progress is enough.