Tag: Gratitude

25 April 2022 Pain is a Teacher

by saymber, posted in animals, books, Health, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? Today is another day of learning for me. The past few days I’ve been more active than usual. Yesterday I decided the yard work couldn’t wait and I really hurt my back doing it. I used to be able to take care of a front, back and side yard with weed whacking no problem just a couple of years ago! All I have now is weed whacking a little yard in the front and wore myself out! I’m so frustrated with my body….this getting older and limitations.

This morning I was reminded of a conversation I had with my ex once about being grateful I could do laundry. Some people with various physical and cognitive limitations can’t do it! They would give anything to be able to do it! This morning it was all I could do to get myself dressed! The other thing which is hard for me is asking for and accepting help! Thank God for my Aunt and Uncle this morning. They made sure I had something to eat and help for the pain. My Aunt used a massager on my back and left a cane and heating blanket for me! They helped me when they have their own things going on. My Aunt goes for her knee surgery Wednesday!

Pain is being my teacher. New, old and refresher lessons. I am reminding myself today to focus on what I can do and that my body is not meant to be a prison. What I’m going through will pass and new days will come. Hopefully mostly pain free days!

Please keep my Aunt in your prayers and my Mom. My Mom is having hip replacement surgery Tuesday!

Last night on The Chosen livestream psalm 77 was mentioned. I waited to read it this morning and it’s really perfect for what I’m experiencing with chronic pain. Especially the crying out to God for help part!

Psalm 77New International Version

Psalm 77[a]

For the director of music. For Jeduthun. Of Asaph. A psalm.

1 I cried out to God(A) for help;
    I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress,(B) I sought the Lord;
    at night(C) I stretched out untiring hands,(D)
    and I would not be comforted.(E)

3 I remembered(F) you, God, and I groaned;(G)
    I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.[b](H)
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
    I was too troubled to speak.(I)
5 I thought about the former days,(J)
    the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
    My heart meditated and my spirit asked:

7 “Will the Lord reject forever?(K)
    Will he never show his favor(L) again?
8 Has his unfailing love(M) vanished forever?
    Has his promise(N) failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?(O)
    Has he in anger withheld his compassion?(P)”

10 Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
    the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.(Q)
11 I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
    yes, I will remember your miracles(R)of long ago.
12 I will consider(S) all your works
    and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”(T)

13 Your ways, God, are holy.
    What god is as great as our God?(U)
14 You are the God who performs miracles;(V)
    you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,(W)
    the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

16 The waters(X) saw you, God,
    the waters saw you and writhed;(Y)
    the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water,(Z)
    the heavens resounded with thunder;(AA)
    your arrows(AB) flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,(AC)
    your lightning(AD) lit up the world;
    the earth trembled and quaked.(AE)
19 Your path(AF) led through the sea,(AG)
    your way through the mighty waters,
    though your footprints were not seen.

20 You led your people(AH) like a flock(AI)
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.(AJ)

————————

Some pictures – no second walk yesterday!

Brand new leaves!
Normally these are in the shade. Not sure what this plant is.
Layers of different trees
Sometimes when I pass this house a man is sitting in the chair. A peaceful little spot to meditate on things.
Poor Smokey! He got tuckered out! The way he looks in this picture is how I feel lately!
Linky looking at me with a look that seems to say “I’m sorry your hurting….you overdid it again! “
No clouds and hazy view of the setting sun
A lot of furry and feathered beings visit this tree out back
“It’s not about what you can’t do but what you can do.” Sometimes just playing with the sun has to be enough

A couple timely messages from A Woman’s Spirit today:

Healing is learning to trust my own wisdom, my own intuition. -Mary Zink

I am wise. I’ll know what to do today in every situation if I open my heart to my Higher Power.

In case your interested (season 3 is in the works right now): https://watch.angelstudios.com/thechosen

20 April 2022 The Garden We Get To Live In

by saymber, posted in animals, books, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m doing ok. Feeling grateful for the little rains we’ve been getting. What is amazing is when I go for walks with Link. Everywhere my eyes rest on beauty. This is what you get to experience getting out walking where you live.

Yesterday I found myself thinking that I’m living in a garden – God’s garden. So many different plants, flowers, trees, birds, animals and insects…..everywhere you look life is happening! Now there are the canals with water that sparkle in the sun. Yesterday Link and I just stood and listened to the rushing waters. The more I focus on the wonders of God’s creation, the more I see! Beyond the buildings, moving vehicles and pavement- the flurry of our daily lives – there is evidence of an amazing God all around us. Look and see!

Psalm 8:3-6New International Version

3 When I consider your heavens,(A)
    the work of your fingers,(B)
the moon and the stars,(C)
    which you have set in place,
4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?[a](D)

5 You have made them[b] a little lower than the angels[c](E)
and crowned them[d] with glory and honor.(F)
6 You made them rulers(G) over the works of your hands;(H)
you put everything under their[e] feet:(I)

Pictures from yesterday:

These blooms smell so good! So soft.
I’m like a bee when I go by this tree lol
“You can learn a lot from us dogs. Slow down, take a nap if your tired and stay in the “now” – quit worrying so much. You are eruff!”

Happiness is mine today. It’s as close as the expression of my gratitude. – A Woman’s Spirit

Whenever I hear this song I think of standing in my driveway in base housing in Florida. The moon was full and I was waiting to be with who would become my husband. He introduced me to the voice of Chris:

https://youtu.be/tLrz0vMOhU4. – Audioslave The Last Remaining Light

Roll me on your frozen fields
Break my bones to watch them heal
Drown me in your thirsty veins
Where I’ll watch and I’ll wait
And pray for the rain

Curl like smoke and breath again
Down your throat inside your ribs
Through your spine in every nerve
Where I watch and I wait and yield to the hurt

And if you don’t believe
The sun will rise
Stand alone and greet the coming night
In the last remaining light

Seven moons and seven suns
Heaven waits for those who run
Down your winter and
Underneath your waves
Where you watch and you wait
And pray for the day

And if you don’t believe the sun will rise
Stand alone and greet the coming night
In the last remaining light

And if you don’t believe the sun will rise
Stand alone and greet the coming night
In the last remaining light
Light
Light
Light

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Brad Wilk / Chris Cornell / Timothy Commerford / Tom Morello

The Last Remaining Light lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Wixen Music Publishing

19 April 2022 Surprises on Walks

by saymber, posted in animals, books, Food, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Music, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing? I didn’t do a video for Twitch again today. It’s been about a week. I just haven’t felt up to it. It’s been hard to convince myself to get out of bed lately! I just hurt!

I was doing some surfing yesterday about joint pain and arthritis connected to having Covid. Turns out it’s indeed a thing! I’m really starting to believe what I’ve been going through is post Covid related stuff. Here is a link to one of the videos I found where a man and his wife have been experiencing joint pain after Covid: https://youtu.be/fyR9uJHCdKA – if you are experiencing inflammation and pain in your joints, like for me it’s my upper thighs and knees, this video might resonate with you. I am hoping it will eventually stop!

Despite the pain, I’ve been trying to get out for walks with Link. It’s so rewarding when I do! So much to see! There have been surprises lately too! This morning I looked down for just one minute and was amazed to see not one but two wild pansies in the edge of a yard we were passing! I struggled to get down to take the picture…..getting up made me curse gravity a bit lol….but it was worth it!

A lovely surprise for us today on the morning walk- a wild pansy!

Other pictures from yesterday and today:

The tulips are out here in Idaho – when I see them I think of my Mom. She used to grow flowers like tulips
“You make me smile…”
I noticed this yesterday in the shopping center on our walk
This beauty caught my eye even with being surrounded by so many power lines
Part of what makes each tree an individual is their bark – I love seeing trees in afternoon light
This little one made me think of a cat we used to see all the time in Alvarado TX! Love the mustache!
A blue version of the car I used to drive in Sr. High School! Mine was red. I’ll never forget Dad and I practicing stick shift in a parking lot lol!
Ridleys is the grocery store I always go to. I told the cashier I was so grateful she was there (they seem a little short handed), that I was grateful to wake up to peace and quiet and that there was food in the store…..little things people in warring parts of the world aren’t experiencing today. We are so fortunate!

My day will be dark only if I shut out the light f my Higher Power. Through my faith and my friends I can know peace – A Woman’s Spirit

https://youtu.be/bFeNjMjk0dA – Toni Cornell singing Nothing Compares 2 U in honor of her Dad Chris. Her eyes are so sad to me. This was the first song Kyle and I listened to (the Sinead O’Conner version) after we said goodbye to our sweet dog Sam. It’s hard for me to listen to for that reason but I toughed it out to hear both Chris and now Toni’s interpretation of it. She did her Dad proud I think!

18 April 2022 It Will Be Enough

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing in your where and when? I’m getting a really late start. It took a lot of coaxing to get up today. Last night was another battle of trying to sleep. The lower part of my body has been experiencing a lot of pain and trying to sleep through that pain can be difficult.

What came to me is thinking about old dogs like my Sam and older people in my life both living and passed on. They didn’t complain about their aches and pains. The message of “it’s not what you can’t do but what you can do” came to my mind. I realized I could do some cleaning up this morning – it hurt but I did it!

When Sam and I used to go for walks without Kyle in Delaware he did something with me that he didn’t do when the three of us would walk. He occasionally would just stop, sit down and look at me with those eyes…”can we stop for a minute? I need a rest…” he seemed to say. Getting older in all our forms kind of forces us to slow down even though inside we want to go like we are still 20 year olds! Today I will remind myself that it’s ok when I am hurting. I will focus on the things I am capable of still doing even though I’m feeling this way – not focus on all the things I can’t do.

Matthew 26:41New International Version

41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.(A) The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is about approaching life with gentleness:

Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. It is like the gentle flower that grows through granite. – Patricia Hoolihan

We are attracted to women and men who have cultivated a gentle spirit. Their softness nurtured all of us who come into their space. We are soothed and made whole by their caring spirit. Let’s allow our caring spirit to develop too.

The aggression we may have grown accustomed to in our families and neighborhoods need not claim us for all time. We have the power within us to chart a new course. We have examples of gentleness all around us; they are our guides and are here by divine appointment.

Whatever task we are destined to perform in this clean and sober life can best be accomplished if directed by a heart that cares. Being gentle promises each of us the same comfort it offers others. Each gentle act heals our heart and lovingly nurtured the future.

Being gentle today is much easier than being mean-spirited. My gentle side will nurture my inner child and remove my fears.

————————-

Pictures from yesterdays adventures:

A bouquet

16 April 2022 Saturday Request

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, books, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? My thoughts this morning are all over the place to be honest! There is just so much going on in this world. The news isn’t good but I am trying to remain conscious that good things are happening. There are so many good people. For all of the awful we are being bombarded with at every turn, there is good. I remind myself that even though I am powerless to stop and change so much of what is going on, God is not. There will be justice….there is justice we can’t see with our eyes but know with our spirits. My request is God’s justice for atrocities such as this:

https://apnews.com/article/russia-ukraine-zelenskyy-kyiv-business-black-sea-22d7279f32c15d4a7037a2195113fb57 – 900 souls

Philippians 4:6-7New International Version

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is a great reminder about the power of time….it passes. Whatever the trial or tribulation we are experiencing we can trust it won’t last. We wish we could hold on to the good stuff that happens as much as we want to let go and forget the bad stuff….the length either stays is where we are empowered outside the rules of time:

Everything passes, as I flow with this river of highs and lows, I become calm. I trust my experience and the life force guiding me. – Ruthie Albert

Everything passes. There is perhaps no greater comfort when we’re caught in the throes of trauma than the knowledge that this too shall pass. We lived many years without this knowledge as we struggled to change the i changeable. Unfortunately, the only thing that changed was our level of frustration: it got higher. Now we know that we can patiently wait for a situation to pass. Nothing lasts forever.

The good times pass too, of course. We hope to hold on to them, but the same principle applies. The minutes tick by, carrying is to new experiences. What we need to learn will become known to us through both the good times and the struggles. They all will pass, having prepared us for the high and lows that wait to serve us.

I am at peace with the knowledge that everything passes. My needs will be met today.

————————-

Here are pictures from yesterday’s adventures:

Morning light trying to happen- “dwell in me Lord, be strong when I am weak…”
Setting up for Good Friday service at Millcreek Elementary School
I took this going in to help set up. In the evening one of our parishioners children handed me a flower just like this from the same tree. Children and trees…….
Lots of extra chairs in anticipation of Easter. The Good Friday service really meant a lot to me. There was a good turn out.
Something that reminds us of the pain Jesus endured
Memories new and old in a moment
When I saw this moment I wanted to capture it for their Mom. I also thought of my Grandpa and what it must have been like for my Mom and her family to help Grandpa prepare for such occasions. These moments are so fleeting, thank goodness for cameras!
Gorgeous flower on our walk that I hadn’t seen before
Sweet beautiful boy we encountered on the walk. He wanted to come to me so bad but Link wasn’t having it! I hope he is home safe and loved.
My little bear Link getting my attention!
Found out yesterday that my brother Jerry is a Grandpa again!
This is one of the red tulips I shared the other day. More of them have appeared and I was able to get a closer look! I love the fringes on the edges!
Vanity….you would laugh at how many tries it took me to get this! Sometimes it’s nice to see a face that goes with words. I hope the best for you – no matter what things seem like now it’s all going to keep moving on. Stay focused on the helpers….do what you can to be a helper. Remember that no act of kindness is too small for God.

15 April 2022 A Different Kind of Friday

by saymber, posted in books, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Movies, Music, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? In a little bit I will be going to join some others to help set up church for tonight’s Good Friday observance. In light of what is being remembered, I’ve always had a hard time thinking of this day as good. A good man was tortured, he suffered and died on a cross with criminals. What could possibly be good about that?’ What I’m reminded is good about today is he went through all that for us….so we wouldn’t have to. He took all of the world on himself out of love for both his father and each of us. It’s truly a beautiful thing to think about someone loving me that much to go through everything he did.

Good Fri·day

/ˈˌɡo͝od ˈfrīˌdā/

Learn to pronounce

noun

  1. the Friday before Easter Sunday, on which the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ is commemorated in the Christian Church. It is traditionally a day of fasting and penance.

Last night I was restless and wanted to watch something. I was pleased to find and watch (finally! My cousin and his wife recommended this to me over a year ago!) The Case For Christ. It was the story of author Lee Strobel an atheist who after a journey of discovery and love found his way to believing in Jesus Christ. The movie did a really good job of showing what having a believer and an unbeliever living in the same house with children can really cause disruption….division. Test a marriage. My ex-husband and I went through some of that strife. If you haven’t seen it and are curious, I saw it on You tube.

https://youtu.be/pBcNvSA1kNo – The Case For Christ (full movie)

As you can see by my note and the date I’ve struggled with sleep for a long time. This is another scripture of comfort. You can talk to God about anything you need help with!

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is a good one for what we are remembering today….forgiveness:

Work for justice. Struggle for forgiveness. Choose love. -Patricia Benson

Justice, forgiveness, and love sound far loftier than they are. Developing these qualities requires only that we live as we think God wants us to live. It’s as simple as that. Admittedly, when we have wanted to punish a significant person in our lives, we have often preferred “justifiable” anger or resentment over love. However, the emotional hangover that has followed the expression of our outrage has diminished any pleasure we might have gained.

Our inclination to forgive other people and ourselves, coupled with our decision to love rather than punish those who irritate us, seems to grow daily. Our changed perspective comes from our willingness to grow in recovery. We can be as peace-filled and as loving as we want. We’re in charge!

I will stay in control of who I am today. I can fulfill God’s wishes.

In all the mysteries of mysteries there is light both seen and unseen. Matthew 5:16
New International Version

16 In the same way, let your light shine before others,(A) that they may see your good deeds(B)and glorify(C) your Father in heaven.

https://youtu.be/y4CY3nf1Mvw – Phil Wickham Great Things (song)

16 March 2022 Tapestry

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 16 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1427420115

I believe God is with all of us

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m feeling a little tired but it will pass. Things are doing things!! I didn’t know it but apparently the UN is trying to come up with a global plastic treaty. I think that’s great. My only concern is that once the treaty is made that it will actually be enforced! Kind of like laws. Laws are great on paper but are worthless if there is no one to enforce them! https://news.mongabay.com/2022/02/as-world-drowns-in-plastic-waste-u-n-to-hammer-out-global-treaty/amp/ The other thing is daylight savings. Our Senate is putting a bill forward that would make it permanent – no more setting our clocks to fall back: https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/03/15/politics/senate-daylight-saving-time-permanent/index.html.

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is so good I am going to share all of it:

We are who we are, shaped and molded by the times, by the events, and by the persons we encounter on our way, and no one ever changes very much or escapes entirely from that mold. – Ruth Casey

Everything we experience today is woven with all that has gone before. We are a tapestry in progress. We grow and change, heightening some of our patterns, successfully diminishing others, and maintaining still others. We need feel more shame for this person we’ve become; we’ve done our best. From this point forward, with the help of the program, our Higher Power , and the wonderful friendships that sustain us, we will add many new colors and stronger threads to the tapestry that continues to be us.

Even though there is often much we want to change in ourselves, there is much that will and should stay the same. Let’s trust God will guide our efforts in changing those traits that deserve our attention now, leaving the rest for another time. We have been loved, guided, and protected even though we are not perfect. That will be true always.

All that has gone before will help me handle whatever today offers. I am in Gods keeping now and forever.

______________

The skies yesterday

Today this Psalm 103 resonated. I was looking for a Psalm to read for my Twitch video and I came across this one with lots of it highlighted! May be there is something within it that will resonate with you too:

Psalm 103New International Version

Psalm 103

Of David.

1 Praise the Lord,(A) my soul;(B)
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.(C)
2 Praise the Lord,(D) my soul,
    and forget not(E) all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins(F)
    and heals(G) all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life(H) from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,(I)
5 who satisfies(J) your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed(K) like the eagle’s.(L)

6 The Lord works righteousness(M)
    and justice for all the oppressed.(N)

7 He made known(O) his ways(P) to Moses,
    his deeds(Q) to the people of Israel:
8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,(R)
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;(S)
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve(T)
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love(U) for those who fear him;(V)
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions(W) from us.

13 As a father has compassion(X) on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,(Y)
    he remembers that we are dust.(Z)
15 The life of mortals is like grass,(AA)
    they flourish like a flower(AB) of the field;
16 the wind blows(AC) over it and it is gone,
    and its place(AD) remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children(AE)—
18 with those who keep his covenant(AF)
    and remember(AG) to obey his precepts.(AH)

19 The Lord has established his throne(AI)in heaven,
    and his kingdom rules(AJ) over all.

20 Praise the Lord,(AK) you his angels,(AL)
    you mighty ones(AM) who do his bidding,(AN)
    who obey his word.
21 Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,(AO)
    you his servants(AP) who do his will.
22 Praise the Lord, all his works(AQ)
    everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul.(AR)

14 March 2022 You Are Significant

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, books, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Movies, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 14 March 2022 Monday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1425549698

A little joke between my cousin and I – she gave this to me yesterday lol

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m a little slow today. It’s amazing how much just one hour can screw you up lol! Most people I talk to agree it would be ok if we did away with the daylight savings.

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit was about how important it is to value your own significance. By valuing your own significance you are more able to value the significance of others. When people are caretaker types or and have low self esteem or are damaged by life they don’t realize their own value. They always put others wants, needs and value before their own. I was like this and wasn’t checking my motives about it……I got resentful! Resentment is the seed oftentimes for addictive behaviors. In addition to trying to get sleep, I used to drink to deal with my feelings. I wanted to be numb. Distractions of this world are used to lose ourselves too. If I’m doing a distracting thing I don’t have to think about anything else – I can avoid myself!

Right now I am having time to get to know myself. I am still not feeling suited to be somebody’s significant other! The void in me that was created by the divorce is being filled with getting to know myself better and getting closer to God.

A Woman’s Spirit Message for today:

Before I can become a significant other, I must become significant to myself. – Kelley Vickstrom

Why is it so hard to feel as if we matter? Putting other people’s wishes and needs before our own may seem natural. We may feel shame when we say no. As girls, we may have watched our mothers and grandmothers tending to the whims of everyone else. Probably without ever being told, we simply followed suit. What’s worse , we may not have even expected appreciation for our actions.

Now that we are learning to think of ourselves we feel a bit selfish. However , we must begin to honor our significance, and we have to understand that to do so is not egotistical. In order to lovingly appreciate others in our lives, to treat them as significant, we have to value our own significance. Our Higher Power considers us significant; it’s time we followed suit.

Affirming my own significance will help me appreciate other people. Today I will value my interactions with others.

This scene from one of my favorite films and books speaks volumes. In this scene multigenerational trauma, how we pass the good and bad through multiple generations is spoken:

https://youtu.be/tJzxpUkJYXo – Joy Luck Club you don’t know how much your worth

“No, this cannot be, this not knowing what you’re worth, this not begin with you. My mother not know her worth until too late – too late for her, but not for me.”

21 February 2022 Monday

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Movies, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 21 February 2022 Monday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1305451504

Morning sky

Hello to you how are you? It’s Monday morning again and I’m finally starting to wake up. What’s happening is the Doxepin isn’t really working like I hoped and I am still having to take the Hydroxyzine which makes me groggy. I’ve also been having lower back and leg pain which makes it hard to get out of bed. I resolved to myself that I’m going to try to do more stretching through the day to see if that helps. There is a part of me considering a yoga class they have in town. I used to do yoga! I could even do a head stand!

The stream was fun this morning. One of my viewers was involved in a school musical production of Grease. We had fun with a couple of the songs. It’s been ages since I was a huge fan of the movie starring Olivia Newton John and John Travolta. The age group my viewer is in are like 11 and 12 year olds. As you may or may not remember there are a lot of mature themes in Grease. My viewer joked that one of the cast was talking about “huge knockers” and he probably didn’t even know what he was talking about! LOL!!

Yesterday I was in the mood to watch movies which has been extremely rare! The first movie was Black Butterfly starring Antonio Banderas and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. When I initially had heard about the movie and saw trailers I wasn’t interested. I’m so glad I watched it! I can’t believe it was free on You tube! https://youtu.be/-_VUHxa7nwg – Black Butterfly. I was delightfully surprised at all the plot twists. The other one I watched and enjoyed was called The Illusionist starring Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti : https://youtu.be/KunQC6a6fPU – The Illusionist. I don’t want to tell you what these films are about – don’t want to spoil the surprise that each of them has to offer! It felt good to have the movie experience and not have my manic/paranoid/delusional self reading too much into what what I was watching.

“Practiced consistently, new habits become who I am.” – Lin Andrukat (A Woman’s Spirit)

“Any current behavior used to be “new.” It became a habit only with continuous use. I can decide to begin a new behavior today. “ (A Woman’s Spirit)

20 February 2022 Lost But Not Worthless

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you today. How are you? I decided not to do a Twitch Stream today and that’s ok! A day of rest! This morning I got up late and almost missed church but I’m glad I made it. The message from Pastor Jason was good. He used the story of when he lost his wallet helping with farm work. It fell out of his back pocket and fell in the field covered with dirt. He and his friends went out looking for it and it wasn’t found until a couple months later! The lost wallet is like us…..like I’ve been so many times in my life….lost from my relationship with God. God seems to always be there waiting for the children to find their way home. Being lost like that wallet doesn’t mean we are worthless . We still have great value but we just aren’t doing what we were made to do. Our full potential isn’t being realized when we are lost. Least that is what I got out of his sermon!

Last night my Aunt and I went to a ladies game night at church and I met some really nice women. We played a game called Mad Gab first and that was just not my game lol! You get into teams and read these unrelated words to make a saying or phrase. I think I figured out one lol. Then we played a dice game called Tenzies and I wasn’t very good at that either but it was fun. We had pizza, salad and desserts. What was really neat is I met a woman that I ended up sitting next to in church today! As I write I realized I actually first met her at Next Steps classes. That’s the class you take when you are considering membership in the church. It was nice to see a friendly and familiar face today!