Tag: God

7 March 2022 Grace House

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 7 March 2022 Monday chat Grace House https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1418494652

Grace House at 208 Main Street Middleton ID

Hello to you. How is your day going? I hope we’ll. I’m sitting out on my front porch enjoying how the warm sun feels – especially on my legs! This morning I walked over to the Grace House to offer a little help with cleaning and setting the place up. My back and legs didn’t let me work as long as I would have liked. There was a good turn out of other helpers so Maryann and John didn’t have to do it all themselves! What a beautiful home it is! When I’m ready to start participating in the Women’s Bible study I can just walk over! It felt good to spend some time with folks from church helping with something so important.

The message today out A Woman’s Spirit had to do with learning from the painful experiences we have in our journey. This was the case for me even this morning. I am experiencing a lot of physical pain and my body is trying to tell me how out of shape I let myself become! I hurt pretty much all over and aside from what’s going on with the bed mattress, I don’t have anyone to blame for my pain! It’s up to me to learn from the pain and make changes I need to to get rid of it.

A Woman’s Spirit messages for today:

“There’s a lesson to be learned in every painful experience.” – Mary Timberlake

“I will remember that God is with me throughout today’s experiences.”

6 March 2022 Sunday

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 6 March 2022 Sunday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1417332045

Windy but sunny Sunday

Hello to you. How has your weekend been? It’s been kind of busy for me the past couple of days. Yesterday the church I go to needed help setting up so I went and helped. It’s something I can do even if my legs and back haven’t been being so friendly lately! Helping yesterday made me realize how much is going on behind the scenes to keep things going!

Later on my Aunt and I got together. We kind of just drove around Middleton. She drove me past the house the church is leasing for the next 5 years. They are calling it The Grace House. The plan is to use the place as an office and for things like Bible Study and Life Group meetings. It’s really a beautiful little Victorian style house that reminds me of the Painted Ladies in Colorado Springs CO. During our visit she was able to convince me that it’s time to get a new mattress! She used her Costco membership and we found one. My tax refund money going to a good cause. We think some of the pain I’m going through in my lower body is related to having s bad mattress. To celebrate we went to Jalapeños in Nampa and that way we got to see Uncle John. We are keeping many of our family members near and far in prayer and of course our entire world with all that is going on!

The service this morning was really good. Pastor Jason talked about renovation of our hearts and touched a bit on free will. That God gives us the free will to make choices but ultimately has the final say. Kind of like how I think of God being like the parent ultimately having the say over what happens in the lives of their children. Free will only goes so far. There are consequences for our choices both good and bad. I liked this: “Definition of the heart: where decisions or choices are made for the whole person. “ In thinking about this message about the heart I got more insight on the area I struggle with understanding – free will. It’s the sometimes sketchy area of like all things that once they leave their creator they develop a life….a story independent of their creator. Many things in this world are created and abandoned. We are being reassured that such is not the case with God. Pastor shared something that really affected me. He said there was a point in his life that considered suicide! What a loss it would have been. He wouldn’t be there to help me with aspects of loving and knowing God that I’m struggling with! I like to hear his stories.

Tomorrow morning we are meeting at the Grace House to do some cleaning before furniture is moved in. I hope we get a good turn out to help. https://www.idahograce.com/

The messages from A woman’s Spirit for yesterday and today were about the value of time in our lives and the healing gift of sharing our stories. For me personally, I have found that time and distance have been great healers for coping with difficult things in my life. The farther I get from a situation, the less it hurts. The same can be said for sharing stories about trials I have faced. The more I talk about it the less it hurts each time. Like I mentioned in my Twitch Stream this morning there are generations before mine that don’t like to talk about things they have faced or are facing. They keep it to themselves. I think by doing this they harm themselves and deny others the experience of hearing about hope. It’s like “I have faced this situation. I’m facing a trial but there is hope in it. I got through it…I’m getting through it.” It’s kind of looked down on by many those people who dump their troubles on someone else but I try to remember boundaries and also that even though there are 7 billion plus people on earth, so many people fall through the cracks….. literally have no one they feel they can confide in. I have felt that way before. Only having a therapist to really talk about and talk out what I was going through.

A Woman’s Spirit Messages:

“Time is my friend today. Each minute brings to me an experience I am ready for.”

“All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.” – Isak Dinesen

“I will tell a part of my story to someone today. She may be helped by it, and I will be free from it!”

4 March 2022 Dreams

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, dreams, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 4 March 2022 Friday chat (dreams) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1415186521

Hello to you. How are you today? It’s a sunny Friday here in Middleton. It’s a lovely 45 degrees! Spring is definitely in the air!

Last night I experienced a lot of dreams. The first dream was of laying in a bed and looking out into another room of pitch black. It was like I was in another persons body and was struggling to say The Lords Prayer. The person was so scared they could hardly speak the words. I woke up into another dream where I was crying for my Dad. I woke up into yet another dream where my stepmom appeared by the light by my bed asking if I was alright. It was like she was really there. I got out of bed and followed her down a hall. I told her I was worried about Dad and described the first dream I had! It was so comforting for me to see her. There were lots of other dreams but these really stood out because of how they were like having dreams within dreams…thinking your awake but your still sleeping.

Todays Twitch Stream was short. Sometimes it’s like that – short and sweet is all that’s needed. The message from A Woman’s Spirit talked about how some lessons in this life are painful. How occasionally our Higher Power has to get our attention. How we can pray for help to understand these experiences. I look at what is going on in my individual world and realize that I need to keep being more active to combat the pain I’m feeling in my legs. As I look at my life I am realizing that God is starting to ask more of me and gradually I am able to give it. I look at what is going on in the world and see with the crisis that is going on we as a world are pulling together- some of us praying more now than we ever have. We as a world have a common goal of wanting peace and good relations with our neighbors near and abroad. We are once again learning with war how fragile peace is…..how fragile we are. We are learning how much we have in common. Last night I not only prayed for the Ukraine but I prayed for the world- that God will take Putin in hand and set things right again – war isn’t ok! We’ve come too far as a world to resort to such things. What are we supposed to be learning with this conflict?!

“I will experience the calm times and the storms. From both I will discover my purpose.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

Psalm 32:10

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.

3 March 2022 Where To Find God – In or Out? Finding Balance

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 3 March 2022 Thursday Chat (Late Start) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1414192132

Hello to you. How are you? Link and I are doing ok. Last night we had a little drama here at the house. I had trimmed the matted hair around Links feet and got the brilliant idea to try and trim his nails. Bad move! Without having someone to hold him I just can’t do it by myself. So….doing extra laundry today to get blood out of it. Felt so bad!!!

On my Twitch Stream today we talked about what’s going on overseas right now. I have been focused on Putin and wanting God to deal with him. From the pictures I’ve seen of him lately he doesn’t look well physically like something is wrong. The Woman’s Spirit message was good but it provoked some questions. We are taught through religion and society to look outside of ourselves for completeness. Many of us as a result don’t know who we are! The Psalm 31 I read was just another crying out to God for help. Alot of the psalms are. Do we have free will or not? Why does it feel like the church of today I see seems to want us to have a codependent relationship with God? What has been coming to me lately is the importance of finding balance- to be able to discern where I am in the equation of having a healthy relationship with the God of my understanding. God may have all the answers but does seem to leave a lot for us to figure out on our own – through our own life experience. Like I said, I struggle with the mentality I see in religion. If we completely turn ourselves over to God where is the free will in that? Are we then nothing more than automatons? How are we to ever know who we truly are if we are always looking outward from ourselves for how to live this life? I think that finding balance is key.

Where do we find God? Outside? Inside? It seems like everywhere if I really think about who and what God is. I’ll never forget sitting with my Dad on my back porch in Texas. We were talking about God and we agreed that God is in everything. I think it’s our expectations that can get in the way of attaining balance in our relationship with the God of all. We put our expectations on how God answers our prayers and I know personally it’s those expectations that sometimes make me not see God is in fact answering prayers. Again it’s a balance between our inner and outer worlds – our spirituality…..our relationship with the God of our understanding.

What just came to me is thinking about prayers being answered like someone playing a strategy game. Many separate pieces have to move for an overall outcome to be achieved…. an ultimate goal to be reached. Just yesterday I saw a good analogy from Elevation Church “God sees the whole puzzle.” God invented the puzzle of this life and knows how all the pieces fit together.

Find balance in and outside yourself and don’t put expectations on your relationship with God – especially with prayers! Let God be God. These are things I am having to work on each day!

A Woman’s Spirit messages for today:

“Time and again I have searched for you, not knowing that it was me I needed to find.” -Betty MacDonald

“I will pay attention to who I am today. I will honor the whole of me. I know genuine happiness can be found only in this way.”

2 March 2022 Wednesday

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 2 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1413179695

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Last night was rough again. My right leg has been giving me pains but I was able to get some relief by focusing on thinking of God healing it. I had to ask myself what I wanted and focus on that.

I listened to the state of the union address last night. There were a lot of good things discussed but I found myself feeling skeptical though. He talked about wanting to fix so many things that have been going on for such a long time. Will the powers and principalities of our world let him do anything he talked about?! What do I want?! Meaningful and lasting change that benefits every citizen not just a few. Let’s see if “they” let him do anything. Definitely a prayer item!

Speaking of prayers my Uncles sister is in the hospital not doing well. Please keep Pam in your prayers! Seems like everywhere I turn, near and far prayers are needed! I can’t turn a blind eye to suffering. I try to remind myself though, the question I have to ask myself about it all, “what do I want?!” It’s so important to remember the power we all have. We can choose what and who we give our personal to- what we focus our energy on. If we focus on anxiety and things that we fear there will be more of that. What we focus on expands and gains power in our lives. If we can mind our thoughts we are using our freedom. The rest we have to let God about!

I want to remind you that everything I write and talk about in my Twitch Streams is to remind myself too!!

Todays A Woman’s Spirit message was about letting people live their lives and learn the lessons they need to learn. The necessity of boundaries between ourselves and others. I struggle with boundaries! I struggle with making other peoples problems my problems. We live in such an interconnected world. What our neighbors, family, friends and even coworkers do with their individual lives ultimately affects all of us. It’s hard for me to ignore that reality and just focus on my own life. I guess I’ve always looked at life as being a big picture. What’s key I guess is making sure what I am doing with my own life doesn’t adversely impact myself and all the living beings I share this life with. It’s hard to do sometimes! Everything is cause and effect.

“I have enough to do to just to live my life today. I can show my love for others best if I let them live their lives too.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

Enabling: n. 1. a process whereby someone (i.e., the enabler) contributes to continued maladaptive or pathological behavior (e.g., child abuse, substance abuse) in another person.

1 March 2022 Tuesday

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 1 March 2021 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1412137597

Hello to you. How are you today? We are having a gray and overcast morning. It was rough last night. I had trouble getting to sleep last night.

Lots of birthdays this month. Today is my cousins wife and my Uncles wife birthday. Happy birthday!

Today’s Twitch Stream touched on several topics. One was money. I don’t feel like there is anything wrong with it but if you make it the primary motive for doing things life can be so empty. It’s an energy just like anything else – what you do with it. The other thing we talked about is how this world is really crazy right now. It’s a time to really look for the helpers….to be one of the helpers in these times in whatever way you can. Something simple everyone can do is with prayer and meditation. Turn your thoughts and your heart toward things of the Spirit….to the God of your understanding. Be one of the lights. I know it’s hard. I’m struggling with this myself!

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

“ The journey to a new life – physically, mentally , and spiritually —includes the joy of rediscovering a faith that had been lost.” – Louise A. Rice

“I will let my faith work in my life today. Nothing has to upset me,”

“Recovery is an intensely spiritual process that asks us to grow in our understanding of God. “ – Melody Beattie

“Believing in God’s presence today will make every experience rich with meaning. I am not alone, now or ever. “

A message from Fred Rogers about looking for the helpers: https://youtu.be/NB5uSHCIgS0

Human Family by Maya Angelou: https://youtu.be/eL_ofpwicsc

I note the obvious differences
In the human family.
Some of us are serious,
Some thrive on comedy.Some declare their lives are lived
As true profundity,
And others claim they really live
The real reality.The variety of our skin tones
Can confuse, bemuse, delight,
Brown and pink and beige and purple,
Tan and blue and white.I’ve sailed upon the seven seas
And stopped in every land,
I’ve seen the wonders of the world
Not yet one common man.I know ten thousand women
Called Jane and Mary Jane,
But I’ve not seen any two
Who really were the same.Mirror twins are different
Although their features jibe,
And lovers think quite different thoughts
While lying side by side.We love and lose in China,
We weep on England’s moors,
And laugh and moan in Guinea,
And thrive on Spanish shores.We seek success in Finland,
Are born and die in Maine.
In minor ways we differ,
In major we’re the same.I note the obvious differences
Between each sort and type,
But we are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.

I pray for the people in conflict right now be it a person at war with themself to entire countries like the Ukraine and Russia. I pray for all leaders in this world that God will give them wisdom and enlighten them to see a future of light.

28 February 2022 Monday

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 28 February 2022 Monday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1410862988

Hello to you. How are you? I wasn’t here yesterday. I decided to take the day off. I went to church in the morning and once again I had trouble with the message. It’s probably just me. As a person who is very sensitive and uses my heart and feelings a lot it was hard to hear that I shouldn’t be doing that so much. I don’t think God just wants a bunch of automatons running around doing his bidding. Don’t we have free will? I am working on turning to God first but still use my heart. We prayed for the people of the Ukraine. I’m praying for them, Russia and this whole world. I’m praying for Putin too. It’s easy to pray for those who like and love us. We need to pray for those who harm us too.

Anyhew. After church I went with my friend to a rock and gem show in Boise. Wow! From the first table on I could feel the place was just vibrating! It’s like the rocks and gems were all crying out “hey! Pick me!” As I’ve mentioned before I used to really have a problem with compulsively buying jewelry. So me going to such an event was tough but I was good and didn’t buy anything. ALOT of beautiful things were there and lots of people. We went to Dickeys Barbeque afterwards and that tasted good. We both had the brisket. It was kind of weird as there was only two people running the whole place. It looked like s lot of their business was carry out. It was nice to get out with a friend!

In the evening I watched the rebroadcast of Elevation Church service and that was interesting. Pastor Steven Furtick was reading from Genesis. How everything God created had a purpose. He tied that in with an example of what people do, like being birds put in a fish bowl. Birds were made to fly. So many of us aren’t doing what we were made for. I think he was saying we were designed to worship God and that’s not entirely what’s happening. It’s the world we’ve made where the primary amount of our existence is devoted to the worship and care of people, places and things. It’s hard sometimes to find a balance in our devotions! To put our relationship with God as we understand them first in our busy lives.

“Choosing love as a way of life eliminates most of the conflict that undermines our well-being . Having faith that God is in charge takes care of the rest.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

25 February 2022 Friday Hoarders

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 25 February 2022 Friday Smokey’s visiting https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1407587191

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Friday and looking like a nice day outside. I have an extra house guest today. My Aunt and Uncle were going up to the mountains today and didn’t want to leave their dog Smokey alone all day. Link loves it when Smokey comes to visit.

So I’ve been watching an A&E show called Hoarders and it is reminding me of how important it is that we are careful how we fill the voids in our lives. What I’ve been seeing on this show is people putting things in the place of their individual traumas. It reminds me of things I used to do and how having a 12 Step Program and stronger relationship with God helped me stop doing those things. For me the big one was buying rings. For a time I just couldn’t stop! I remind myself regularly that things of this world cannot fill the intangible space reserved for matters of the spirit….Gods space in us. It’s all fleeting and changeable…..doesn’t last.

The message today from A Woman’s Spirit has to do with learning from the good example of others and also being a good example ourselves. I like the phrase “lead but your example.” It’s important to acknowledge that people often learn from us when we make mistakes too…..when we fail….when we fall down. We teach people then and also by how we put ourselves back together again.…pick ourselves up and move on.

“No one can tell you which choices to make. We can only show you by good example.” – Jan Pishok (A Woman’s Spirit)

“I am someone’s example for healthy behavior today. I won’t steer anyone wrong.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

23 February 2022 Wednesday

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 23 February 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1307654970

Hello to you. How are you? I hope this finds you well. It’s a sunny day here but really chilly out! I had trouble getting up this morning. It was another case of waking up in the middle of the night and taking Hydroxyzine to go back to sleep. I almost missed my therapists phone call. She helped me get out of bed and get some breakfast.

The message on the stream today was partially about multigenerational trauma. This was because of the messages in the reading for today in A Woman’s Spirit. What happened to us in our childhood doesn’t have to determine what our life as adults will be like. We can make a conscious choice to learn from those experiences and grow as people. Every walk of life has suffered some kind of trauma – it’s up to us what we do with those experiences.

Today’s psalm is one of my favorites – psalm 23 :

Psalm 23New International Version

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my shepherd,(A) I lack nothing.(B)
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,(C)
3     he refreshes my soul.(D)
He guides me(E) along the right paths(F)
    for his name’s sake.(G)
4 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a](H)
I will fear no evil,(I)
    for you are with me;(J)
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table(K) before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;(L)
my cup(M) overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love(N) will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

Snippets of color on the floor this morning that caught my eye

“Healing can occur when I see my family of origin as just a vessel to bring me into new spiritual growth , rather than as a predictor of all my life’s work .” – Judi Hollis (A Woman’s Spirit)

“Every day I am embarking on an adventure. What I do with my experiences today can be a positive reaction to what I learned from the past.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

22 February 2022 Tuesday

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Money, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 22 February 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1306552599

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. I had kind of late start today. Outside is gray with sun trying to peak through. Looks like we got a few flurries overnight.

Morning sun trying to peek through

I went and got groceries yesterday – whew was that expensive! I spent about $200! Granted I was stocking up and also bought a lot of drinks to try and stay hydrated. Still if I spent that much for just one person I can’t imagine trying to feed an entire family!

Talked to my dad yesterday and he sounded pretty good. Thanks to all of you that have been praying for him and my mom. I get so pissed sometimes. They have been of service to God, their families and the community their whole lives. Nothing has come easy to them and now when they should be enjoying retirement together they are having to go through all this! I don’t understand God’s plan about it. I’m sure if I were to look at things through Gods eyes it would make sense but through little ol’ Jackie eyes it just seems cruel. Again, thank you for your prayers and positive words.

I’ve been trying to read a psalm a day. Today was psalm 22. It just didn’t resonate with me but that’s ok. From what is seems there is a lot of crying out to God for help in the psalms and some of them are really dramatic pleas! What do you think?

“I may make plenty of mistakes today. I can accept that. I’m learning and moving forward.” (A Woman’s Spirit)