Willow tree I just love in our neighborhood She has a huge trunk I think it’s so prettyAnother beauty in our neighborhood Drawing that came to me today
Hello to you. How are you? It’s Saturday and overcast. The sun is peaking out a little bit. Yesterday was nice. I went to breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe and was blessed – a couple that were in there with me paid for my breakfast! I was really touched by that. I got a couple walks in with Link. It was during the evening walk I snapped the pictures of this Willow tree down the street. I just love it! This neighborhood has some lovely mature trees.
The message in A Woman’s Spirit is really good. It reminds us that we can’t control or change the past or future. What we can control about ourselves is right now. We are not powerless in our present moment.
A Woman’s Spirit message for today:
With one foot in the past and the other in the future, how can we possibly know what new path we might follow today? -Jan Pishok
Now is all there is. But how often, really, are our minds in the present? Honestly, aren’t we much more focused on what just happened or what we fear will happen in the next hour or day or year? Being here, now, means giving up the past absolutely. It also means relinquishing all thoughts about the future. Occupying our minds with the experience of this instant only seems hard to do. We’re far more used to greater chaos than what we experience solely in the here as now.
We have a direction that’s right for us. Unfortunately, we miss the road signs because we are still looking over our shoulder at what we passed yesterday. The destiny we need, needs us too. Quietly focusing on our lives , one moment at a time, can assure us of fulfilling it.
Letting go of the noise I carry in my mind changes my life. I can feel and acknowledge what’s here when my mind is open.
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It’s important to remember that we can’t change the past. We can learn from the past but we can’t change it. Working on staying mindful in our present can leave a better past behind us.
Hello to you. How are you this Friday? I’m doing ok. Kind of slow going today.
A reminder for myself today!
Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit touched on expectations. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. I have to remind myself that each of us is different. We are all at different phases of life….our journey. Sometimes we expect from others things we were raised to believe ourselves and what we believe may not resonate. Sometimes the lessons we have been taught and learned haven’t been by the people we share this existence with. We may get frustrated and or resentful that they aren’t on the same page as us. It’s important to remember where we came from, who we have been and forgive others who are just catching up! I experienced this in AA. Others who were further along in their sobriety journey were kind and patient with us newcomers! Like my friend and I talked about today on the stream too is sometimes you have to let people go with love especially if having them in your life will sabotage your peace of mind. I have had to do this to others and it has been done to me. Some people are with us for a lifetime and others just a moment. I say this thinking about all the people I’ve had “chance” encounters with and never saw them again. God has ways of getting messages to us!
A Woman’s Spirit messages:
Through learning to like myself, I’ve been more willing to understand others. -JoAnn Reed
Unrealistic expectations hinder our growth and relationships. We too often try to be superwoman and we want others to complement our drama. But no one can match our expectations. It’s helpful, then, to step back and remind ourselves that we’re all okay, we’re good enough. We are where we need to be for this point in our journey. With effort we’re coming to believe this, little by little.
How do we give up unrealistic expectations, especially when they are triggered by our shame over not being perfect? Coming to believe that we are acceptable, even lovable, to our Higher Power requires a suspension of disbelief. We must first “act as if” and then take time to notice all the goodness on our lives. The evidence will convince us that we are protected and guided, thus loved. Meditating on this truth will give us permission to accept and love ourselves. Understanding and then loving others is only a small step away.
I want to love and appreciate myself and all my friends today. We are here to help each other. God is here too.
Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is so good I am going to share all of it:
We are who we are, shaped and molded by the times, by the events, and by the persons we encounter on our way, and no one ever changes very much or escapes entirely from that mold. – Ruth Casey
Everything we experience today is woven with all that has gone before. We are a tapestry in progress. We grow and change, heightening some of our patterns, successfully diminishing others, and maintaining still others. We need feel more shame for this person we’ve become; we’ve done our best. From this point forward, with the help of the program, our Higher Power , and the wonderful friendships that sustain us, we will add many new colors and stronger threads to the tapestry that continues to be us.
Even though there is often much we want to change in ourselves, there is much that will and should stay the same. Let’s trust God will guide our efforts in changing those traits that deserve our attention now, leaving the rest for another time. We have been loved, guided, and protected even though we are not perfect. That will be true always.
All that has gone before will help me handle whatever today offers. I am in Gods keeping now and forever.
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The skies yesterday
Today this Psalm 103 resonated. I was looking for a Psalm to read for my Twitch video and I came across this one with lots of it highlighted! May be there is something within it that will resonate with you too:
Psalm 103New International Version
Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the Lord,(A) my soul;(B) all my inmost being, praise his holy name.(C) 2 Praise the Lord,(D) my soul, and forget not(E) all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins(F) and heals(G) all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life(H) from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,(I) 5 who satisfies(J) your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed(K) like the eagle’s.(L)
6 The Lord works righteousness(M) and justice for all the oppressed.(N)
7 He made known(O) his ways(P) to Moses, his deeds(Q) to the people of Israel: 8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,(R) slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;(S) 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve(T) or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love(U) for those who fear him;(V) 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions(W) from us.
13 As a father has compassion(X) on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; 14 for he knows how we are formed,(Y) he remembers that we are dust.(Z) 15 The life of mortals is like grass,(AA) they flourish like a flower(AB) of the field; 16 the wind blows(AC) over it and it is gone, and its place(AD) remembers it no more. 17 But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children(AE)— 18 with those who keep his covenant(AF) and remember(AG) to obey his precepts.(AH)
19 The Lord has established his throne(AI)in heaven, and his kingdom rules(AJ) over all.
20 Praise the Lord,(AK) you his angels,(AL) you mighty ones(AM) who do his bidding,(AN) who obey his word. 21 Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,(AO) you his servants(AP) who do his will. 22 Praise the Lord, all his works(AQ) everywhere in his dominion.
Hello to you. How is your where and when as you visit me here? Hard to believe it’s Thursday already. The week has gone by fast.
This gift rock from my dear friend “T” brightens each day
Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit has to do with quieting the mind and meditation. Both of these things have been a challenge for me! I have always had a monkey mind and or chatter brain. However, when I was living in Texas I used to lay on my back for hours just connecting with the passing clouds or sit on the band stand we had and connect with the trees, flowers and insects. I guess it was like meditating! I do better outside when it comes to trying to still my body and mind. Inside there are so many distractions!
This morning I did something that I need to do more often and that is get quiet inside and focus my thoughts. It’s really hard for me to “hold a thought.” In particular my sinuses were kind of blocked up so I focused my thoughts to my sinus and told them to open up and or to clear…..it worked! I was able to breathe freely again. I then proceeded to focus on different parts of my body that have been hurting and was able to get relief there too. Then before my feet hit the ground to get up I just asked God to be with me today….”Hey God would you hang out with me today?”
Anyhew lol what I’m talking about here is a challenge in the kind of world we live in. I really struggle myself with this! If we are in a relationship of some kind, have kids, pets, a job, hobbies….things that keep us busy and distracted all day long, it can be really difficult to find time to just stop not only our bodies but our busy minds. Stop long enough to connect with our inner selves and our Higher Power. Be still…..some of us in this world are choosing and in many cases out of survival are having to stay busy every waking minute. We have to rest our bodies and our minds —- make space and time for our spiritual selves to exist. Like I said on my stream today if you are having trouble with having quiet time inside – why? What is keeping you from it and what can you do about it? If it’s a lot of things and you are overwhelmed what is one thing you can do to get peace inside? I have to do this myself – not focus on all the stuff I can’t change but focus on what I can. Kind of like what The Serenity Prayer talks about:
The Serenity Prayer is a prayer written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. It is commonly quoted as: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Messages from A Woman’s Spirit today:
“Today I will stop brooding – and start meditation.” – Nancy T
“I can figure out my next best move today if I quiet my mind long enough to receive God’s message.”
Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. I had kind of late start today. Outside is gray with sun trying to peak through. Looks like we got a few flurries overnight.
Morning sun trying to peek through
I went and got groceries yesterday – whew was that expensive! I spent about $200! Granted I was stocking up and also bought a lot of drinks to try and stay hydrated. Still if I spent that much for just one person I can’t imagine trying to feed an entire family!
Talked to my dad yesterday and he sounded pretty good. Thanks to all of you that have been praying for him and my mom. I get so pissed sometimes. They have been of service to God, their families and the community their whole lives. Nothing has come easy to them and now when they should be enjoying retirement together they are having to go through all this! I don’t understand God’s plan about it. I’m sure if I were to look at things through Gods eyes it would make sense but through little ol’ Jackie eyes it just seems cruel. Again, thank you for your prayers and positive words.
I’ve been trying to read a psalm a day. Today was psalm 22. It just didn’t resonate with me but that’s ok. From what is seems there is a lot of crying out to God for help in the psalms and some of them are really dramatic pleas! What do you think?
“I may make plenty of mistakes today. I can accept that. I’m learning and moving forward.” (A Woman’s Spirit)
Hello to you. How are you? I’m up really early after another battle with sleep and anxiety. This too shall pass. It always does.
The eye appointment went well yesterday. I had them take a picture of my eyes and they are looking good. Just needed a tuneup for distance vision! I walked over to the clinic and back. There was another stream I passed with some really hardy ducks but they swam away too fast for me to get a picture of them.
Very cold water the ducks were swimming in
Not much planned for today other than talking to my therapist this morning and may be getting groceries. As I write to you I’m in bed with Link and a warm blanket. A part of me wants to try and go back to sleep. Do you ever feel like just hibernating until spring?
“Right now I am at peace. All the tremors and quakes that shake me will cease. In the loving presence of the Spirit I am surrounded with warmth and security. “
Hello to you. How are you? I got up early this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. It feels like I didn’t sleep but I known I did! I can remember a dream I kept floating in and out of that had a tribal theme….David Bowie even peeped in. I am still not over this darn cold and this morning I was fretting about my Aunt. She’s scheduled to have knee surgery on the 11th and I’m nervous about it.
Link trying to figure me out this morning
This morning I talked to God and was like “We are going to need the big guns today!” There are days that are like that. Days that you know a power greater than yourself is needed. You just have to ask and be prepared for what unfolds next.
“All I ask of you is to lead me to the next door. It’s not about being rich or being poor. Don’t let me waste my time here in worry and strife. Help me Lord make the most of this life”
Hello to you. It’s still snowing as I write to you. I don’t know how much we are supposed to get but it doesn’t show any sign of slowing down. If I wasn’t an adult I wouldn’t care. The neighbor kids have their snowsuites on and are having so much fun! I was thinking of how fun it is to make snow angels and then two of them did it! At some point I’m going to have to go unbury my car. Adulting sucks sometimes!
Yesterday I decided to look up an old crush from senior high school and I wasn’t prepared for what I found. He had made a successful career as a manager at Barnes and Noble and as an entertainer. He had been cross dressing and his characters name was Roxy Marquis. He got married to the man he loved. What I wasn’t prepared for was that he got lymphoma and fought the cancer for 4 years. He died in 2020 from it and he was my age- we were a year apart! All the memories I had of him filled my head last night and it was hard to sleep. I had such a crush on him when we were in school! I was too smitten with him to pick up that he was different…that he was gay. He was so beautiful to me. Finding this out evoked a lot of emotions. Why did he have to go through what he did? I felt so scared and sad last night just thinking how hard he fought to live. I hope in his heaven he has peace. RIP Wesley Byers – https://m.startribune.com/obituaries/detail/0000358638/
This morning I found out a friend, Tanya Knight, from my tribe in Alvarado, succumbed to cancer too! She was the most gentle and beautiful woman you could ever meet. Just so vibrant and full of life – she was a healer. I can’t believe she’s gone.
Last night as I was tossing, turning and crying I talked to God. “God I don’t understand suffering and death! It scares me. I feel so powerless – where are you God? Sometimes it just feels like you’ve abandoned us and I don’t want to believe that. Don’t let me waste this gift you have given me…..this life.”
Heavy flurries today
Both Wes and Tanya still have their Facebook pages up. I’m glad they were so I could pay my respects. I didn’t know Facebook did that.
I hope something here resonated. I need to pull myself together and live this day. I think that’s the best way we can honor those who have gone before us – live!
Hello to you – how are you? It’s morning as I write to you. The sun is out!! Yay!! The only bad thing is I can see how filthy my window is and I don’t have a ladder to reach it! I am left wondering how the people that sold me the house kept it so clean?! I’ll figure something out.
Yesterday I did some experimenting on my Twitch channel. I tried to take my viewers on a walk around my block but lost my WiFi signal shortly after I left my house. So that didn’t work. I was thinking of my parents when I did it as they haven’t seen where I live. I guess I would have to use something like a go pro and upload the video. Everything has its limitations.
On the stream last night something came to me. What came to me was to share my experience, strength and hope as if I were chairing an AA meeting. The holidays can be a very difficult time of year for folks that have addiction issues. I have experience with alcohol and food addiction. My experience with alcohol only lasted a couple of years but the anorexia and namely bulemia lasted into my thirties. I haven’t really talked about my journey with bulemia yet. It lasted such a long time!
I bought some fabric paint online yesterday. I have several “blank” tshirts that I intend on painting. I want to explore having each one having a different variation of Metatrons cube. We will start with one and see how it goes. The thing with painting tshirts is I don’t have to find wall space for a painting – it’s wearable art. You wear it until it gets worn out.
This was a paint kit my friend gave me several months ago. Yesterday I finally got around to using it! What a cheerful message !
I wanted to show you the rock my friend gifted me with – she painted it herself and I think it’s so pretty!
Hello to you. How are you today? I woke up to us getting a bit of snow. It is already starting to melt.
Just a little snow
As I sit here with my coffee, I am trying to think of what I want to do today. I am feeling kind of stuck. Drawing helps but I’m so quick about it. As soon as I get started I’m already finished. I love drawing Metatron’s cube! When I draw it I am soothed in my brain. I like choosing different colors for each one. I like that I free hand them – that they aren’t perfect each time. Each one is for a different somebody. I was doing that with my outdoor chalk this summer.
Drawing for today Sun trying to peek through
Why do I always feel like I have to be DOING something? Why can’t I just be still? I guess idleness wasn’t something I was raised with. There were always chores when I was growing up and then of course once I got into the military I was always busy – too busy sometimes. There needs to be balance in the busy ! Balance in the idleness. There is too much idleness in my life right now. Gradually I am finding my way. For me idleness is close to usefulness…..I want to feel useful again.
To be 