Category: dreams

9 May 2022 Hesed and God Moving In Mysterious Ways

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, dreams, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Movies, Music, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How is your day going as you visit here? I hope well. Last night I had another one of those dreams like I recently shared with you. I felt like this energy entered my room and went over me. I could hear and feel it. It was different this time as I spoke to the darkness and was able to say “Jesus!” more than once. Well apparently this crossed over into the waking world and scared Link off of the bed! Not quite sure what’s going on. There are things always going on in the unseen spirit world and sometimes it seems we cross paths with it and we experience things. For me it’s mostly in dreams and I’m grateful for that.

After church these sweet girls passed out flowers to us
Lots of lovely clouds yesterday
Pretty yellow for me!

Yesterday was a really good day. I got myself to church and got to meet two new people! What is so beautiful was these were people I had noticed the Sunday before – one of them in a wheelchair. They were a daughter and her mom who had been going to the other campus for the church in Nampa but decided to start going to Middleton. Our church is smaller ( right now) and the traffic isn’t so bad (yet). It’s funny how God works and to actually experience his love, or hesed, first hand. So many things flit across my mind and heart that lead to moments like I’m describing to you. We are God’s feet. We are instruments God uses to demonstrate hesed. This word was spoken for the second time since I’ve been going back to church. I had never heard the word hesed before:

https://firmisrael.org/learn/the-meaning-of-hesed-hebrew-for-love/

Yesterday spending time with my family to honor my Aunt I saw hesed in various forms:

My beautiful Auntie and cousin having a moment of hesed. Their love goes beyond words.
My cousins husband and Smokey finally get along! They used to hate each other! They just had to learn to communicate.

Some other images from the day:

My Aunt loved her balloon
My Auntie is recovering from knee surgery. It was so good to see her and the family!
Wonderful smells here in a bush in my Aunt and Uncles front yard
My cousins husbands Mothers Day card art work – loved it!!
This is from the story The Help: https://youtu.be/3H50llsHm3k – video clip from The Help
Link helps me feel like a Mom sometimes

Messages:

Thinking about the Holy Spirit
This passage makes me think of how I went from just noticing a woman in a wheelchair to actually meeting her and getting to shake her hand! God works in mysterious and wonderful ways! I didn’t realize this commonly used phrase had an origin other than the Bible:

God Moves in a Mysterious Way” is a Christian hymn, written in 1773 by William Cowper from England.

https://youtu.be/yjPR09kdCgc – God Moves In A Mysterious Way (Hyms of Grace)

https://www.umcdiscipleship.org/resources/history-of-hymns-god-moves-in-a-mysterious-way-cowper

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44028/light-shining-out-of-darkness#:~:text=God%20moves%20in%20a%20mysterious,And%20rides%20upon%20the%20storm.

Light Shining out of Darkness

BY WILLIAM COWPER

1 

God moves in a mysterious way, 

His wonders to perform; 

He plants his footsteps in the sea, 

And rides upon the storm. 

2 

Deep in unfathomable mines 

Of never-failing skill, 

He treasures up his bright designs, 

And works his sov’reign will. 

3 

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take, 

The clouds ye so much dread 

Are big with mercy, and shall break 

In blessings on your head. 

4 

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, 

But trust him for his grace; 

Behind a frowning providence 

He hides a smiling face. 

5 

His purposes will ripen fast, 

Unfolding ev’ry hour; 

The bud may have a bitter taste, 

But sweet will be the flow’r. 

6 

Blind unbelief is sure to err, 

And scan his work in vain; 

God is his own interpreter, 

And he will make it plain.

6 April 2022 Shadows in Dreams and Divinely Loved

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, dreams, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing in your world? I’m sitting here in mine with some coffee, Link and a beautiful day. We had another rough night with pain but did manage to get some sleep. A dream that woke me up was of looking at something dark and not being able to say anything but with my thoughts. Whatever I was looking at said without words but with thoughts, “how is it your here?” Then my mouth was free and I said “Jesus!” Then I woke up. The dark being was gone. Stuff of a spiritual nature happens to me mostly when I dream.

Yesterday I had something beautiful happen. A prayer of mine has been gradually getting answered – getting to know my neighbors. What happened is I was sitting on the porch enjoying various types of music. I was listening to the song We Are Stars by the Pierces and the chorus has the phrase, “I just want to be loved by you…” As I heard this my neighbor came up and offered me a pot of wild flowers that had found their way into her yard! In that moment and those of her showing me her gorgeous little Eden of a yard I felt divinely loved. God does stuff like this! If we are willing we become his body here on earth to do loving things both great and small. So now I have some beautiful flowers amidst all the gravel! It may not seem like it some days. When times are tough it can beg the question, “if you love me God why is this happening?!” The closer you stay with your heart to God the more you will see you are loved no matter what is happening.

Stay willing….surrender. A friend I made on Twitch called me out of the blue this week and she was calling to tell me I was loved! She has been going through an amazing awakening with God. What she has realized is that the harder you fight against God the harder it is for you. That has been my experience too. Lately as I’ve been hobbling around taking pictures, I feel like a spirit with feet. God giving me the strength to be his boots on the ground here.

Remember, no matter what you are facing in your world it’s not about all the things you can’t do….focus on what you can do. Sometimes that might be just one small thing for the entire day! That’s ok! You did something you thought you couldn’t. Be proud of that! Sending you love and hugs through the wires and the winds that connect all of us!

Let’s go for a walk…..

This tree has the energy of a smiling and happy person!
I noticed this neighbor got more flowers! Aren’t they pretty?!
I love seeing the progress my neighbor is making on their massive garden!
Hello beauty! Long locks blowing in the wind
The neighbor who gave me the pot of flowers is an amazing gardener. This Iris of hers just bloomed yesterday!
I think this is a marigold – Orange!!
This is the pot of flowers she gave me! Soooo pretty and they weren’t planted in this pot on purpose she said!
Pansies? Found more Orange!!
Her water feature where she sits and listens to the water and her chimes. Beautiful!
Something going on with the ants here

Last thoughts yesterday:

The closer you get to God the more you see this in the world.
Most of the day was cloudy but the sun did peek out in the evening

https://youtu.be/IWD8b9eIROI – We Are Stars The Pierces

27 April 2022 Can We Peek Into Our Own Multiverse Through Dreams?

by saymber, posted in animals, books, dreams, Health, Home, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? My back and legs are still in pain but better! With the help of a back brace Link and I got a short walk yesterday as you will see in the pictures today. Yesterday I read that Pope Francis has been suffering with pain in his right leg. Seems it doesn’t matter who we are in this life – pain plays a part in the play! I hope he gets relief. Leg pain makes life really challenging! Speaking of that thank you for praying for my Mom and her surgery yesterday – all wet well! Hoping the same for my Aunt and her knee surgery today.

Last night I had a very vivid dream that seemed like I was peaking into the life of an alternate version of me. The dream began by me having sleep paralysis and I was looking at a small apricot colored poodle and trying to speak but I couldn’t so I was thinking to them, with my eyes “please help mommy.” Then I was out of the bed in a room that looks like my actual bedroom but it wasn’t – the light was different. I was adjusting the bottom sheet of the bed and the sheets were the same as I actually have on the bed right now. As I was adjusting the sheet I was startled because at the foot of the bed was what seemed to be a shadow at first. Then the shadow took the form of a man I guess I knew in the world I was in. He waved his hands at me and I woke up.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had a dream like this where I will find myself in a dream and the place I’m in is “like” my real world but not exactly the same. One dream I had was dreaming of being in a house that was slightly different than my actual house and following a man with horn rimmed glasses into a glowing blue television set. Anyhew…..dreams like this make me wonder if I’m not traveling in my own multiverse to other versions of me. Logically being in a dream state would definitely make that kind of journey possible. Consciousness moving without a physical body. Have you had this kind of experience?

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today may resonate with you:

At times fear grips me and I can concentrate only on the anxiety. Then I realize I am in God’s care and I need only trust and the fear subsides. -Michele Fedderly

Remembering God in the midst of a fearful situation is often extremely difficult and at times impossible. But when we can bring God to the forefront of our minds, we sense immediate relief. Practicing reliance on our Higher Power will strengthen our use of this profoundly powerful tool. Our fears will be much more manageable when the use of this tool becomes second nature to us.

As we grow in our understanding of this program, we can look at fearful moments as opportunities to get closer to our Higher Power. Many of us came into recovery with little understanding of a loving God. More than a few of us felt betrayed by God. We may still be like babies learning to walk. But our walk will grow confident. With time and practice we will join the women who turn to God for guidance throughout their day. And as a result, we will know peace.

I will let God help me in every situation today. If I ask for help, I will get it. This is God’s promise.

———————-

If your experiencing debilitating things right now I want you to know your not alone and lots of people you may never know in this life are praying for you and hoping you will get through whatever your facing today. It may not seem like it when we are facing all the various trials this life throws at us, but God is with us! Much of the time God speaks in a whisper we are just too loud to hear:

“Are we going to go for a walk today?”
Clouds in interesting formations milling about
View from my lawn chair – sitting there felt good for my back
That’s what the clouds were up to! Rain!
Feeling the gift that water is in my own hand
A healing place of rest – the heating blanket my Aunt brought over has been so wonderful on my back. My cousin gave me that pillow when I first got to Idaho! Love the simple message – when your in pain don’t forget to take deep breathes!
Yep, still raining out front!
Still raining out back!
The rain moves on, the clouds part and there is glorious light. That’s a lot like it is when we are going through things in this life.
I put on the back brace my Aunt loaned to me and Link and I hobbled out for a short walk. I was delighted to see these purple beauties that seemed to just appear from one day to the next!
All the sudden this white flower has started to appear! I am amazed at the wild flowers this spring!
Isn’t this a beautiful tree?!
A huge cloud forming off in the distance – things are doing things all the time!
Another lovely passage from the book of Job. If you think you are in the worst of the worst read about Job! No matter what God is with us and knows us by name. I like this part because it talks about God the way I understand him best – through nature.

26 March 2022 Spring

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, dreams, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 26 March 2022 Saturday chat (spring) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1437351008

One of my neighbors trees. The bees were loving it!
Grape Hyacinth (I think) I thought it was a blue bonnet like in Texas at first glance
Spring peaking up through winters debris

Hello to you. How are you? Hope this finds you well. I dreamt about my dog Spot again last night. She was running loose for some reason and found me. I miss her but she’s living her best life right now so grateful about that. She and I share dreams pretty often.

Yesterday I walked over to the Sunrise Cafe (https://www.theoriginalsunrisecafe.com/) for breakfast and got to witness one of those God moments. A man with a cane walked in and sat down at a booth by himself. Then the main waitress went over and sat across from him. She noticed he was wearing a hospital bracelet and asked him about it. He said he was having some “medical stuff” going on. One of the the things was cancer. He was going through chemo. After she left I then had the courage to say hello too. What was so beautiful was his smile. For all that he was dealing with he was still smiling. Your attitude when your facing adversity really makes a difference in how things will go for you. The Sunrise is becoming my go to place ! Good food and good people both who work there and the customers.

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit talks about how sometimes we have to let go of our problems that might be going on that we just don’t know what to do about and make space for spiritual solutions….”let God on it!”

“When we loosen our grasp on our concerns, there is room for the spiritual essence of all life to move through us in such a way that healing occurs.” – Carol Sheffield

I will not be caught in a problem today if I am quiet and ready for the solution. Stillness engulfs me now.

This morning I was looking through my books and decided to take out a book of poetry written by a family friend named Tom Snooks. He struggled and died from cancer many years ago. It made me think of the man from the restaurant who is currently struggling. The poem I want to share is one he wrote about spring:

Tom prefaced his poems with what prompted him to write it.
Is it Spring?

22 March 2022 World Water Day and Remembering Chris Cornell

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, books, dreams, Health, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 22 March 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433418732

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well today. I found out it’s World Water Day – water is life! There are simple things each of us can do to help conserve our most precious of resources. Stuff as simple as turning off the tap when your brushing your teeth. Taking shorter showers. Not rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I found this National Geographic video that is short but shows some good examples of places where efforts are being made to preserve waterways- so many lives, not just human, depend on them:

https://youtu.be/aYNHNcmBxJM – The Worth of Water (National Geographic)

Here are some examples of lives awakening this spring that need water too:

Last night I couldn’t sleep and this song sung by Chris Cornell of Audioslave popped into my head:

https://youtu.be/KwKcMdiq60s – Audioslave Show Me How to Live (lyrics)

https://chrisandvickycornellfoundation.org/ – last night I had Chris Cornell on my mind and in my late night internet wandering found out about this.

The night before Chris died I had a disturbing dream of being pulled through my bedroom ceiling. Finding out he had strangled himself really hit me hard. His music was some of the first music my husband shared with me. In particular I Am the Highway. Songs like Be Yourself have comforted me through so many difficult times. His struggles and manner of death really bothered me. With my own journey with alcohol dependency for a time hearing of his battles really touched my heart. Addiction is a disease that so many lose the battle with….Chris was one such casualty. I’m glad his family got some peace with their law suite: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/chris-cornell-family-settlement-doctor-1166269/amp/

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

When we are all wrapped up in ourselves, we present a very small package to others. – Georgette Vickstrom

Today I can put aside my tendency to look at every circumstance in relationship to myself. With God’s help, I can put my attention on others.

12 March 2022 Programming

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, dreams, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 12 March 2022 Saturday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1423415704

I’ve been dreaming more again

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. It’s a sunny Saturday here. My first night on the new mattress went pretty well. I had lots of dreams so know that I actually fell asleep!

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit had to do with how we process what our external world says about us. Says we should be. Says what we are. It’s all programming! When we were younger we didn’t have boundaries or an internal filter… life experience to be able to discern whether or not what the world and the people in our lives said to and about us. I know I mostly absorbed external inputs as truths whether they were true or not! I think that’s why it’s so rough for young people on social media. They don’t have the maturity to discern what is true and what isn’t….for many it’s all truth and that’s were self harm, suicide and eating disorders come in. What we put into our bodies and souls goes into our brain and becomes thoughts which then become action….the manifestation of our living reality. It’s so important to really pay attention to what we put into our CPU aka brain. Garbage in….garbage out!

The message today is so good I decided to put it all in this post. You become what you think about the most….what you “worship.” Put good stuff into yourself!

A Woman’s Spirit:

The subconscious works to create the reality according to the programming it has been fed.- Susan Smith Jones

The mind is seldom quiet. Even when we don’t think we are thinking, we are. Our lives reflect our thoughts. It should be obvious that the way to get a better life is to think better thoughts. If it’s that easy, why don’t we have more productive, joy-filled lives?

As youngsters we learned to interpret the faces and the comments of those close to us. That helped us determine how to evaluate ourselves as adults.

Just as the messages we heard in the past told us who we were, the messages we hear now do likewise. But as adults, we can now decide which messages to accept: some we should cherish, many we should discard. We have the maturity now to replace them at will.

I don’t have to accept how anyone defines me today. I can give myself only positive input. My output will reflect it.

https://youtu.be/zHDrHRmaQjQ -Anilah Medicine Chant

4 March 2022 Dreams

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, dreams, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 4 March 2022 Friday chat (dreams) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1415186521

Hello to you. How are you today? It’s a sunny Friday here in Middleton. It’s a lovely 45 degrees! Spring is definitely in the air!

Last night I experienced a lot of dreams. The first dream was of laying in a bed and looking out into another room of pitch black. It was like I was in another persons body and was struggling to say The Lords Prayer. The person was so scared they could hardly speak the words. I woke up into another dream where I was crying for my Dad. I woke up into yet another dream where my stepmom appeared by the light by my bed asking if I was alright. It was like she was really there. I got out of bed and followed her down a hall. I told her I was worried about Dad and described the first dream I had! It was so comforting for me to see her. There were lots of other dreams but these really stood out because of how they were like having dreams within dreams…thinking your awake but your still sleeping.

Todays Twitch Stream was short. Sometimes it’s like that – short and sweet is all that’s needed. The message from A Woman’s Spirit talked about how some lessons in this life are painful. How occasionally our Higher Power has to get our attention. How we can pray for help to understand these experiences. I look at what is going on in my individual world and realize that I need to keep being more active to combat the pain I’m feeling in my legs. As I look at my life I am realizing that God is starting to ask more of me and gradually I am able to give it. I look at what is going on in the world and see with the crisis that is going on we as a world are pulling together- some of us praying more now than we ever have. We as a world have a common goal of wanting peace and good relations with our neighbors near and abroad. We are once again learning with war how fragile peace is…..how fragile we are. We are learning how much we have in common. Last night I not only prayed for the Ukraine but I prayed for the world- that God will take Putin in hand and set things right again – war isn’t ok! We’ve come too far as a world to resort to such things. What are we supposed to be learning with this conflict?!

“I will experience the calm times and the storms. From both I will discover my purpose.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

Psalm 32:10

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.

18 February 2022 First Night Trying Doxepin To Sleep

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, drawing, dreams, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 18 February 2022 Friday chat (psalm 18) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1302099821

It’s so frustrating when you want something to work and it doesn’t really!

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Friday….we made it! The sun is shining – yay! It’s been a long week.

Well last night I took Doxepin for a test drive to see if it would help me sleep. I started with one capsule and didn’t feel anything. I took another one and that seemed to help for a short while. I still ended up taking a Hydroxyzine which helped for a couple hours. So frustrating. Apparently doctors don’t like to prescribe Seroquel which I’ve heard people use for sleep: Seroquel and other antipsychotics are particularly dangerous for elderly patients and can lead to aspiration pneumonia, which is a common cause of death in elderly patients. Seroquel also causes significant excessive weight gain, which can be a factor in the development of Type 2 Diabetes.

So Anyhew…..I will keep pressing forward and hope I get enough sleep! I must have slept last night because I had a dream about my dog Spot. She came to me and I was holding her and just crying. I miss her so much. The only way we get to be together is in dreams.

The stream this morning was ok. In the Woman’s Spirit book the message had to do with control. That resonated with me as a I dealt with that issue much of my life. I learned from a very early age the the only thing I really had control of was my body. That’s what the anorexia and bulemia battles were about. I didn’t feel I had control of my life so I took control of my body. What I have had to learn is the tighter you hold on to what you can’t control the more power you give to what you dont want to be happening. It’s hard to let go of feeling like you have to be in control. I was the kind of person at work that would try to do everything because I didn’t trust in the abilities of those around me to get the job done right. I burned myself out big time and obstructed the way for those around me to learn what they needed to learn.

The other part of the stream was psalm 18 – boy was that a long one! I didn’t like it very much because it seemed to be a warrior talking about a battle and God helping him fight it. I don’t like war. In my opinion no one wins a war really. I think of all my fellow veterans and how many of them suffer from PTSD. Even if they are on the “winning side” they still lose so much of themselves. You can’t unsee the horrors of war. You can talk to God, go to church, take medication, go to therapy, exercise and have a healthy diet and still be tormented by what you have been through. Time and distance from what torments seems to be what really helps. Layers of time to bury the past. It frustrates me that there is so much war in the Bible specially when one of the 10 Commandments is thou shall not kill!

“The more I force things, the tougher my life.” – Helen Neujahr (A Woman’s Spirit)

“I don’t need to control anyone today. I am not insecure just as long as I let my Higher Power take charge of my affairs.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

8 January 2022 Up Early

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, dreams, Health, Home, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
Sunrise this morning

Hello to you. How are you? I got up early this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. It feels like I didn’t sleep but I known I did! I can remember a dream I kept floating in and out of that had a tribal theme….David Bowie even peeped in. I am still not over this darn cold and this morning I was fretting about my Aunt. She’s scheduled to have knee surgery on the 11th and I’m nervous about it.

Link trying to figure me out this morning

This morning I talked to God and was like “We are going to need the big guns today!” There are days that are like that. Days that you know a power greater than yourself is needed. You just have to ask and be prepared for what unfolds next.

“All I ask of you is to lead me to the next door. It’s not about being rich or being poor. Don’t let me waste my time here in worry and strife. Help me Lord make the most of this life”

7 January 2022 Just Fly

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, dreams, Short stories, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

“Can you teach us how?” chorused the children in the golden oak trees canopy. Above her the night sky sparkled but felt like a secret. Were these fledglings ready? If not now when? She looked into their eyes lit by starlight and whispered, “Raise your hands over your head and jump….just fly.” One by one they did as she said and did just that.

This is based on one of my flying dreams where I was teaching little children how to fly. It’s so easy to fly in dreams.