18 February 2022 First Night Trying Doxepin To Sleep

Check out 18 February 2022 Friday chat (psalm 18) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1302099821

It’s so frustrating when you want something to work and it doesn’t really!

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Friday….we made it! The sun is shining – yay! It’s been a long week.

Well last night I took Doxepin for a test drive to see if it would help me sleep. I started with one capsule and didn’t feel anything. I took another one and that seemed to help for a short while. I still ended up taking a Hydroxyzine which helped for a couple hours. So frustrating. Apparently doctors don’t like to prescribe Seroquel which I’ve heard people use for sleep: Seroquel and other antipsychotics are particularly dangerous for elderly patients and can lead to aspiration pneumonia, which is a common cause of death in elderly patients. Seroquel also causes significant excessive weight gain, which can be a factor in the development of Type 2 Diabetes.

So Anyhew…..I will keep pressing forward and hope I get enough sleep! I must have slept last night because I had a dream about my dog Spot. She came to me and I was holding her and just crying. I miss her so much. The only way we get to be together is in dreams.

The stream this morning was ok. In the Woman’s Spirit book the message had to do with control. That resonated with me as a I dealt with that issue much of my life. I learned from a very early age the the only thing I really had control of was my body. That’s what the anorexia and bulemia battles were about. I didn’t feel I had control of my life so I took control of my body. What I have had to learn is the tighter you hold on to what you can’t control the more power you give to what you dont want to be happening. It’s hard to let go of feeling like you have to be in control. I was the kind of person at work that would try to do everything because I didn’t trust in the abilities of those around me to get the job done right. I burned myself out big time and obstructed the way for those around me to learn what they needed to learn.

The other part of the stream was psalm 18 – boy was that a long one! I didn’t like it very much because it seemed to be a warrior talking about a battle and God helping him fight it. I don’t like war. In my opinion no one wins a war really. I think of all my fellow veterans and how many of them suffer from PTSD. Even if they are on the “winning side” they still lose so much of themselves. You can’t unsee the horrors of war. You can talk to God, go to church, take medication, go to therapy, exercise and have a healthy diet and still be tormented by what you have been through. Time and distance from what torments seems to be what really helps. Layers of time to bury the past. It frustrates me that there is so much war in the Bible specially when one of the 10 Commandments is thou shall not kill!

“The more I force things, the tougher my life.” – Helen Neujahr (A Woman’s Spirit)

“I don’t need to control anyone today. I am not insecure just as long as I let my Higher Power take charge of my affairs.” (A Woman’s Spirit)