7 Oct 2025 The Answer

October 7, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just back from a beautiful walk. The weather is just perfect! It felt good to walk off the lunch I had with Ruth and John at Burger King after Bible study. They are getting a new roof put on today. When I left them it looked like it was nearly done! Looked good!

Well my prayers were answered regarding yesterdays quandry about whether or not I should share my story here online. The answer from my family and Bible study was a resounding no. It’s just not safe or in my best interest to share so much personal information about myself online. I have already shared bits and pieces in previous blogs if people are curious about my journey. I think what happened when I got baptized was I had some layers of me stripped away. It really was a profound experience that is going to be with me for the rest of my life! It’s like being reborn in a way.

What’s interesting to note is how quickly Jesus answered my question of what to do. I have only been praying and my family has been praying about it for a couple of days. He used the people that love and care for me to give me my answer quickly. I truly believe from experience that believers are the bodies God uses to do his will. I also think the quick answer was to protect me and also give my Aunt Ruth peace of mind. She was really worried about me.

If it is only going to be like a journal it’s not handwritten- it’s on my phone using the notes application. My Aunt and I were trying to figure out if I should print it out or not. She thinks it should only be family that reads it. She is worried other people that aren’t family might treat me differently if they read it. I will continue to talk to Jesus about it as long as it’s on my mind.

Psalm 91:11New International Version

¹¹For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

Baptism- Symbol of New Life (Romans 6:3-4): Paul explains that being baptized into Christ means being united with him in his death and resurrection, so that, “just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life”.

21 Sept 2025 Strength in Weakness

September 21, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just home from church – today marks our 9th year anniversary as a church. The church has grown so much from even when I started coming. I sat with my friend Jeannie and her brother-in-law Roy who was having trouble getting around today. Pastor Keith Waggoner from the Nampa campus we came from gave a great sermon. Today’s message really resonated with me:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10New International Version

⁷or because of these surpassingly great revelations.Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I have been praying for God to heal me from what ails me for several years now and he has not moved. I believe that what is happening to me is similar to what Paul was talking about. If I was in perfect health I might not turn to God like I do. I might become conceited. God has walked with me through a lot – being bipolar, balance issues and chronic back pain. When I was in AA many years ago, he delivered me from alcoholism, chronic skin picking, smoking and bulemia. I have been through a lot in this life and God has been there every step of the way. Just because he hasn’t healed me completely doesn’t mean he’s absent. He has a plan!

Next Sunday I am being baptized. They have asked me to give a testimonial so I will work on that this week! God is moving in my life!

10 Sept 2025 The Abyss

September 10, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? I hope this finds you well. The back pain is back but I’m trying not to focus on it! I appreciate your prayers!

Last night I had a good telephone call with a friend and we talked about something I haven’t talked about here for awhile. It was about the abyss that exists in all of us that we often unsuccessfully try to fill with worldly things. When I was an alcoholic, I used alcohol to try and fill myself up. When I was a fan girl for a musician or actor I filled myself up with their music and films. It was all so fleeting! It was an obsession.

Millions of people are rabid fans of people like Yungblud, Lady Gaga, Ozzie Osbourne, and Taylor Swift. Back in the day for me it was Prince, David Bowie, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I drew their images and followed everything they did. There works temporarily filled the void inside me. When David and Prince died it left a huge void in me and was part of one of my manic episodes. Davids music got me through so many hard times especially my teens. It was a couple years ago that I realized my fandom was akin to idol worship and I pulled the plug on all of it. There is only one king worthy of worship! Once I completely surrendered to Jesus nothing else mattered. I realized these celebrities were almost acting like they were Gods – trying to be immortal , omnipresent and making a lot of money off of their worshippers! They are famous because we give them our time and lots of money. So many young people worship these performers and when times get tough they fall back on worshipping these celebrities instead of God. The celebrities are tangible to them whereas God doesn’t seem to be.

Only one thing fits into the void inside of me and that is God….things of the Spirit. I’ve known this for quite some time but I wandered off several times. As human beings we want a tangible “Jesus”. Like with The Chosens Jonathan Roumies Jesus. He is currently bringing a tangible Jesus to us. It’s tempting to fall into the idol trap. No matter how many times he emphasizes that he’s an actor portraying Jesus there will be those who think he’s the second coming! It must be so hard to be him right now in a world that so wants and needs Jesus to return.

Since I have put Jesus in the abyss that is inside me I know that I am never completely alone. I can talk to him anytime. A tangible Jesus lives and breathes through the people he has surrounded me with. My family and friends are the body of Jesus in my life.

Exodus 20:3-6New International Version

³“You shall have no other gods before^[a] me.

⁴“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. ⁵You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Matthew 25:34-40New International Version

³⁴“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶I needed clothes and you clothed me,I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

8 Sept 2025 Doubts

September 9, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s Monday again and a lot happened today. My back pain is creeping back – I was so hoping to be free of it completely! At least I had a day to know what it’s like not to have pain. I will stay in praise even though I’m disappointed.

I had a case of the nerves today. A company, Eco Landscaping, that has been coming out and killing weeds on my gravel, all the sudden jacked up their prices on me with no notice. I have tried calling and texting them and have gotten no response. USAA is handling a charge dispute for me about it. I’m really disappointed this happened as it means having to find another company to come out and provide the service.

The other thing today was I finally called The Cottages here in Middleton about visitation. This is where the doubts come in. The facility is split into two parts. They have the memory care unit where residents are supervised at all times and the other part where residents can come and go as they please. The part we did the Mothers Days baskets this year for was the memory care unit. For the memory care unit visitors are welcome but must be supervised at all times. The more I thought about it I just don’t feel comfortable going by myself to see people that are going to forget I was even there. When I lived in Alvarado Texas my ex and I use to volunteer at the Assisted Living locked ward they had there and some very uncomfortable things happened to us. It wasn’t good for us. With having my own mental health issues, I have to be careful with what I expose myself to. My Aunt, Uncle and cousin were there for me today to riddle things out. They had some suggestions of what I might be able to do. I want to be of service to Jesus but just am not sure how. As I get older, live alone, have physical limitations and am not as confident as I once was when I was married it’s hard to figure it out! May be by my sharing what I’m going through is a way I’m helping? May be writing, something I’ve done for so many years now, is a way to serve God? I appreciate your continued prayers on this!

James 1:6New International Version

⁶But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt,because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

31 Aug 2025 The Light Of Eternity

August 31, 2025 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

2 Corinthians 5:17New International Version

¹⁷Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creationhas come:^[a] The old has gone, the new is here!

Today has been good even if I overslept! My Aunt Ruth came over and went with me to church. It was the first time she has joined me since we moved to the high school. It was so nice to have her there! Even though we were later, we still got a good seat near my friends. The message that stood out to us today from Pastor Jason was seeing people through the light of eternity. Not just for now but for forever. This is something Ruth does with people and she models for me. It’s not just living through what Christ did for us but living for Christ. We are to be Doulos (Greek for slaves) to God. It doesn’t have a negative meaning that slavery typically does.

After church we went to the Sunrise for breakfast and it was good as always. Emma took good care of us as always. It was so nice to have company today! We were talking that it will be 3 years this November since I was in the Idaho State Hospital in Orofino and Link had to be rescued from being locked up after escaping from a boarder. I remember this because of pictures I have on my phone. He escaped the same day I left the hospital which stressed us all out! I am so grateful he was picked up and not lost. I also so grateful that Ruth and John came and got me! Otherwise I would have been stuck there. They had no plan for me to have a ride home. One lady I was there with got released to a homeless shelter. So sad! I hope I never have to go through that again – never have to put my family through all that again. Being Bipolar can put such a strain on the family.

Picture I took of Ruth and John leaving Orofino in November 2022

My poor baby boy after we got him out of the shelter

25 Aug 2025 Time of the Day

August 26, 2025 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

What’s your favorite time of day?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. If you are struggling to get through your days I pray for you. You are not alone! There are a lot of people struggling in our world and not much relief in sight. The only true relief for me comes when I focus on Jesus! Writing to you helps me a lot too. I thank you for stopping by here and visiting with me. I get so lonely at times! So many people in this world are lonely. Even with all the technology we have we are still lonely as ever.

Today’s prompt, if you asked me a few years ago, would be easy to answer. I was a morning person. When I was active duty Air Force and working full time I had no choice but to be a morning person. I had routines each day that got me out of bed and happy to begin my day. When I retired on 16 Sept 2002 my life and routines got all turned upside down. I had to come up with new routines. Having pets, specifically dogs, helped because there were morning dog walks with my now ex Kyle. I miss his company so much! I miss being married. We had such good talks! Link can’t really go for walks these days because of his back leg giving him trouble so I have to walk alone.

I don’t have a real life purpose except on certain days of the week right now. I have been praying and talking to God for many years now about what it is he’s got me here to do. Ideas come and go. I’ve tried different things but my body problems and issues being bipolar hold me back from fully committing to anything. Most of my purpose involves my spirituality when it involves anything. Thankfully I will be joining my Aunt and some other ladies next month in a Bible Study. Being with these ladies will be good for me and will get me in the word.

Pastor Jason closed with this psalm Sunday:

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
⁴Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

22 Aug 2025 UAP’s

August 22, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, In the News, Mental Health, space, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. It’s a hot Friday afternoon – 97 degrees but feels hotter. At least it’s a dry heat!Today has been kind of rough for me. Even with taking the Olanzapine (generic Zyprexa) I have been kind of anxious. I would normally take a walk to help alleviate the anxiety but I have been having pain in my lower back and it has prevented me from walking as much. I’ve been using a topical pain relief called Biofreeze but it wears off quickly. I’m afraid to lose the ground I’ve made by walking to lose weight!

Last night before bed I got to thinking it’s been a long time since anything has been said about unidentified aerial phenomena (UAP). Before the election there was all kinds of coverage about it and then the election happened and then nothing! Was it all just a distraction? I was really hoping we were finally going to get some transparency! Wishful thinking right?! I looked to see if there was any current news and most of the articles were from late last year. The fervor of coverage seems to have risen and fallen. What do you think is going on? I am starting to believe whatever momentum that was being made has been squished by the flurry of other activity coming out of the White House. I have been waiting most of my life for the truth to come out about this topic!

Some of the objects seen were like this passage out of Ezekiel:

As I looked at the living creatures, I saw a wheel on the ground beside each creature with its four faces. This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like topaz, and all four looked alike. Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel.

Ezekiel 1:15-21 NIV – Bible.com

17 Aug 2025 Who To Listen To

August 17, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. How are you? I’m just back from church and getting groceries. The sun is out after being cloudy- making it humid! Last night we got much needed rain.

I almost didn’t go to church this morning. If I had listened to the voice that spoke so clearly I would have stayed in bed! My back has been bothering me the past couple of days and I was considering staying home from church. Before bed last night I said to Jesus if you want me to go to church tomorrow ease my back pain. Sure enough I woke up and the sharp pain was gone but a voice told me loudly and sweetly to stay in bed. I couldn’t go back to sleep and forced myself to get up defying the voice. Pastor Jason’s messages today were ones I needed to hear and if I had listened to that voice I would have missed them! I would have missed seeing my church family. Pastor Jason was sick and yet he took the stage! “Your heart is a wicked steering wheel” he reminded us. “Your identity drives your behavior – your identity is not anything but your relationship with Jesus.” The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak – this is something I struggle with a lot as my body gets older. Sometimes we just have to push through and trust Jesus hears our pleas. Our inner voice can’t always be trusted and after I heard it I even asked who was speaking! I asked the Holy Spirit to help me and I think he did. Be careful who you listen to!

Reading for today:

2 Corinthians 4:7-18New International Version

⁷But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹persecuted,but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.¹⁰We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹²So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”^[a]Since we have that same spirit of^[b] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

5 Aug 2025 Morning Walk

August 5, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. This morning on my walk I decided to take a couple pictures:

Most of the roses in the neighborhood are done blooming

The world is a different place when you walk. If you were to drive through my neighborhood, you would probably miss the things I notice when I’m walking. God is so creative! Most of my neighbors take really good care of their yards and I notice! I hope by my sharing this with you that you are inspired to look at your own neighborhoods with new eyes.

Psalm 24:1New International Version

Psalm 24

Of David. A psalm.

¹The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;

4 Aug 2025 Joy

August 5, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Today’s prompt isn’t easy for me to answer. It should be after all Joy is literally my middle name! There isn’t one habit that springs to mind that brings me genuine joy. Ever since the divorce and changing from Lithium to Depakote feeling genuine emotion has been hard for me. Sometimes it feels like I am an actress playing a part of a human being. Prior to what happened to me about three years ago, I was a very emotional person. Tears and belly laughs came to me easily and that’s just not the case anymore. I have become a very serious person in my old age. I miss the silly and youthful woman I used to be!

The things that use to bring me joy and fulfillment aren’t a part of my life now. I use to crochet, make wire jewelry, experiment in my kitchen, draw, write poems and short stories, take lots of pictures, spend time with nature, sing and dance. The only things I still do is this blog and from time to time is take nature pictures! I guess I just haven’t found a way to completely fill the void getting divorced left in me. Loving Jesus is gradually healing me but it’s taking time! He is the great physician and I know in his time he will restore me to my best self again.

Picture from a walk with my cousin Laura a couple years ago

James 4:8-10New International Version

⁸Come near to God and he will come near to you.Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts,you double-minded. ⁹Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.¹⁰Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.