18 July 2023 Bothered

July 18, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What bothers you and why?

Hello to you. How are you doing today? I got a call yesterday from the VA about getting a consult to learn more about what recreational programs they have. So Wednesday I will be doing a telephone/video call to see what they have to offer. We are trying to find things for me to do that either get me out of the house or give me something to do. My vertigo is still going on and is an obstacle so we shall see what they have to offer.

Todays prompt isn’t easily answered. Depending on what’s going on determines what’s bothering me – what I’m allowing to take my personal power. Sometimes it’s Big Pharma, politics, religion, Big Agriculture, Oil and Gas – whatever is on my radar at the time that I perceive to be corrupt.

When I perceive corruption in the world it naturally bothers me but I’ve learned the longer I focus on it, or hold on to it, the worse it becomes. I have learned what you focus on gains power and so if I’m focused on negative things, the more power I’m giving to it to exist! When I let go of whatever it is that has me bothered, it’s like a path is made for more desirable results to occur. I have to let go and let God. Some things I get bothered about are so much bigger than me! I can remember when I was really bothered by Oil and Gas. I was giving it so much power but as soon as I let go the issues that were bothering me about it started getting more attention from outside sources. It’s better to focus on what is good and positive – to give my personal power to it. It’s a practice along the lines of mindfulness.

Luke 10:38-42New International Version

At the Home of Martha and Mary

³⁸As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feetlistening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

17 July 2023 Absolute Certains

July 17, 2023July 17, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

List 10 things you know to be absolutely certain.

Here are 10 things I know to be absolutely certain: (Zentrans is source of this list and I agree with it!)

1. **The world exists.** I may not know everything about the world, but I am certain that it exists. I can see it, touch it, and feel it. I can also interact with it in a meaningful way.
2. **I exist.** I may not know everything about myself, but I am certain that I exist. I can think, feel, and experience the world. I am also capable of making choices and taking actions.
3. **Change is inevitable.** Nothing stays the same forever. The world is constantly changing, and so am I. This can be a source of both challenge and opportunity.
4. **The future is uncertain.** I cannot know for sure what will happen in the future. However, I can make choices that will help me shape my future.
5. **There is no such thing as a perfect person.** Everyone makes mistakes. We all have flaws and weaknesses. However, we can also learn from our mistakes and grow as individuals.
6. **Love is real.** Love is a powerful emotion that can bring great joy and happiness. It can also be a source of strength and support during difficult times.
7. **Kindness matters.** Small acts of kindness can have a big impact on others. They can make someone’s day or even change their life.
8. **Gratitude is essential.** Taking the time to appreciate the good things in our lives can help us to be happier and more content.
9. **Helping others is rewarding.** There is something special about helping others. It can make us feel good and connect us with our community.
10. **Life is a gift.** We should cherish every moment and make the most of our lives.

I came across Zentrans answers to todays prompt and I felt it was awesome! So true and I couldn’t come up with a better list on my own. The only thing I would add is God exists.

Revelation 1:8New International Version

⁸“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come,the Almighty.”

16 July 2023 Security or Adventure

July 16, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Are you seeking security or adventure?

Hello to you. Just back from church – it was good as always. Got to see and talk to the sweet people there. We discussed psalm 34 and “Mr E.” gave a great testimony about his path to following Jesus. He had his Bible with him when he first got saved – inside he wrote the name and date and signed his name and this was back when he was six years old! It’s really neat to hear what happens to people when they make a path within themselves for God to use them. I have had fleeting glimpses of this in my own life. Those experiences of being in the right place at the right time like a mission from God. I am currently hoping for an opportunity for God to use me- just need to get the physical stuff that limits me out of my way! May be having physical limitations is a way for there to be balance and not overwhelming myself. Only God knows! My many thanks for your continued prayers and support!

Something nice happened too after service my friend Mark gave me a bag of cherries from their tree! They taste really good! He notices when I’m not there and kind of helps me stay accountable.

A thoughtful gift through fellowship and natures bounty – cherries

Todays prompt makes me think of my life this far. I think I have chosen security over adventure as I’ve gotten older. When I was young and had all the world in front of me I think I took more chances – sought out adventure because nothing was really stopping me. I was healthy physically up until when my mental health issues really started mushrooming and that was in my late twenties and early thirties. My forties and up until now have been clouded by the struggle of achieving balance – safety and security versus adventure. There is a part of me that kind of thirsts for adventure but I hold myself back – a lot of times it’s because I don’t want to leave Link. He has become an anchor of what home and security is. When I come home from being gone – seeing him reach up and scratching on the window in excitement makes me feel so loved. Somebody cares that I have returned!

Deuteronomy 4:29New International Version

²⁹But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

15 July 2033 Dinner

July 15, 2023 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

Hello to you. How is your weekend going? I’m writing to you from the porch, it’s nice out yet. Link and I went for a walk last night after it cooled down. I think that’s the best time to go for our walk. The sun is so intense during the early morning and daylight hours.

Yesterdays appointment went well with meeting my new intern doctor – Dr. Browning. He had a lot of questions for me and I had some for him. He’s going to call me this next Friday to see how I’m doing with the increased dosage of Abilify. We are trying to isolate what is causing me to feel the increased vertigo – spinning stuff. He thinks it could be the Zyprexa but the increase in the side effects only have started since taking the Abilify. It was nice having Tawna along as she had questions I had forgotten to ask.

So who do I want to invite to dinner?! This question is like a thing my Mom and Dad used to do – Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner! Oh boy do I have a list! After an invite to all my immediate family and friends I miss, there would be invites to people like Pope Francis, John Stewart, Ru Paul, the Dali Lama, Benedict Cumberbatch, Lady Gaga for some living people and people like Jesus Christ, Nikola Tesla, Wilhelm Reich, Maya Angelou, Saint Therese Lisieux, Saint Francis, Princess Diana, David Bowie, Prince in the unalive category. There are so many amazing people that have come and gone! It’s hard to list them all and it would be fun to share a meal with them!

Matthew 14:13-21New International Version

Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand

¹³When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. ¹⁴When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

¹⁵As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

¹⁶Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

¹⁷“We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

¹⁸“Bring them here to me,” he said. ¹⁹And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.²⁰They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. ²¹The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

14 July 2023 Getting Better With Age

July 14, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What do you think gets better with age?

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. In a bit I’m going to a psychiatrist appointment with the VA. I’m blessed that my friend Tawna will be going with me. I have to talk to them about the increase in vertigo and feeling more off balance since I started taking a new medication called Abilify. When I turn over in bed or get up from laying down or put my head back to drink I feel off balance. The room moves but I’m standing still. Ugh! When I looked at best medication for bipolar 1 last night and the drugs I’m taking were listed but all had similar side effects – dizziness was a common one. Lithium, a drug I was on before, was listed as one of the best but I don’t think they want me on that again. I would appreciate your prayers about all this!

Todays prompt seems obvious to me – people and animals mostly get better with age but that depends on their health. If you have poor health or have been rough on your body for your early years aging can be really rough. The other things that age well are cheese and wine!

Isaiah 46:4New International Version

⁴Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

13 July 2023 Bedtime

July 13, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

Hello to you. I’m just back from Grace House where we have a prayer meeting each Thursday at 9:30 am. Today it was Lois, Brie and me. We are hoping that may be this fall our group will grow some. I walked over and back. My lower back wasn’t happy but the prayers helped. I have been having some vertigo/swaying spells the past couple of days. I hope this isn’t a side effect of the new medication I’m on! We prayed for my Aunt and Dad too. Just found out my Aunt is having shoulder surgery later this month.

So bedtime and getting up are something I’ve been having to work on. I try to start going to bed at 9 pm and I usually wake up around 8-9 am. It takes me a long time to fall asleep and I don’t like getting out of bed right away. I think the reason I have trouble falling asleep has to do with being on screens before bed time. Last night I didn’t have anything on after lights out and I don’t remember falling asleep! Just takes good practice and consistency I think.

Today was good because I needed to be up early to go to the prayer meeting. It’s good to have a reason to get up and have something to look forward to.

Psalm 4:8New International Version

⁸In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety.

12 July 2023 Comfort

July 12, 2023July 12, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

When I think of comfort I think of relief from anxiety. When I experience discomfort it’s usually because of anxiety. Anxiety is a very uncomfortable thing for me physically. I take medication, I exercise, I eat certain foods – sometimes not so good for me, I talk to people, I write, I listen to anxiety talk – down audios on You tube, I talk to God in prayer and just a regular conversation.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7New International Version

Praise to the God of All Comfort

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

11 July 2023 Future

July 11, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What are you most excited about for the future?

Hello there. How are you? I’m sitting out on my porch as I write to you listening to Mind in a Box – one of the concerts I found on You tube. It’s 83 degrees already!

Todays prompt forces me to look ahead. There is a meditation I listen to almost every night that has an affirmation about letting go of the past to make room for the present and future. I honestly don’t know what to look forward to in my future other than losing this extra weight I’ve gained and participating in life as it unfolds for me. I’ve been praying for Jesus to show me where he wants me to be next and the answers are slow in coming. I know they will come in perfect timing….Gods timing not mine. I just have to be open and enthusiastic to it.

Jeremiah 29:11New International Version

¹¹For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

9 July 2023 Music

July 9, 2023 by saymber, posted in Music, Spirituality and Religion

What is your favorite genre of music?

Hello there. How are you? Today began with going to church. Since Pastor Jayson has been on sabbatical, we’ve had other pastors and clergy filling in for him. Today Lester gave a good sermon using Psalm 33 which speaks to expressing praise for God in song:

Psalm 33New International Version

Psalm 33

¹Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;
    it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
²Praise the Lord with the harp;
    make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
³Sing to him a new song;
    play skillfully, and shout for joy.

⁴For the word of the Lord is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
⁵The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

⁶By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
    their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
⁷He gathers the waters of the sea into jars^[a];
    he puts the deep into storehouses.
⁸Let all the earth fear the Lord;
    let all the people of the world revere him.
⁹For he spoke, and it came to be;
    he commanded, and it stood firm.

¹⁰The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
¹¹But the plans of the Lord stand firmforever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.

¹²Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
    the people he chose for his inheritance.
¹³From heaven the Lord looks down
    and sees all mankind;
¹⁴from his dwelling place he watches
    all who live on earth—
¹⁵he who forms the hearts of all,
    who considers everything they do.

¹⁶No king is saved by the size of his army;
    no warrior escapes by his great strength.
¹⁷A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
    despite all its great strength it cannot save.
¹⁸But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
    on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
¹⁹to deliver them from death
    and keep them alive in famine.

²⁰We wait in hope for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
²¹In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
²²May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
even as we put our hope in you.

Although I love nearly all kinds of music the kind I favor is electronica in the style of Depeche Mode. I grew up in the 80’s and a lot of the music back then had synthesizers used in it. I’m always looking for new music and it tends to be digital in nature.

8 July 2023 Vacation

July 8, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe your most memorable vacation.

Hello to you. I hope your doing well today. Todays prompt makes me think of so many summer vacations we took when I was a child and also the trips we took while being stationed overseas. It’s hard to choose just one!

The memories I have from childhood kind of run together. I have memories of being on vacation with very close family friends the Daggetts. We rode horses on one trip, mine was named Czar. We went to a dinner theater where one of the characters was scratching like he had fleas and we all started scratching in response! I can remember Dad getting yelled at by us because when he was driving he would take forever to pull over so we could pee! I remember us staying in a bed and breakfast that we were convinced had fleas lol. It was a last resort kind of place as we couldn’t find anything else. I can remember going to Canada and one of the hotels we stayed at had a pool that turned the girls hair green! I remember visiting Williamsburg in Ontario which was really cool. So many little snippets of memories of those trips. It was really a big deal because we didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up. The fact that my parents made summer vacations possible meant a lot!

When I was overseas stationed at Bitburg ABS Germany we took advantage of Morale Welfare and Recreation trips around the country. We got to see Neuschwanstein Castle (the castle Walt Disney is based on) and got to London. In London we got to see all the major attractions – it was so surreal standing were Anne Boleyn was executed. We rode a train from Frankfurt Germany to Milan Italy. I loved that trip. So much history! I really loved Europe and didn’t want to leave! The food, the people and the sites just made me feel so at home. Like I said, it’s hard to pick just one trip that was the most memorable.

When I look back over my life I have been so fortunate to have been able to have the big vacations but also the little “stay-cations” like we did a lot in Colorado. Going hiking and biking in Colorado – fishing trips – just so many little trips really brought me a lot of joy. Falling asleep listening to the sounds of aspen leaves blowing in the wind on top of Pikes Peak for example. Living in Colorado was aside from Europe, my favorite place I lived.

Psalm 121:8New International Version

⁸the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.