Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
Hello to you! How are you? I hope this finds you well in your life. In answer to today’s prompt I would have to say that drawing and writing poetry are things I seldom do anymore. I used to spend hours drawing and writing poems came to me very easily. With the medication I’m on to treat Bipolar, Depakote, I am blocked from doing these things. If I do attempt to do them it’s forced and just not very good! I miss being creative in those ways but would rather have my sanity!
I watched this scene from the first season of The Chosen the other night and it brought me to tears:
I found myself thinking about what an amazing thing it must have been to be healed by Jesus. To have him put his hands around my head and look me in my eyes – for him to know me by name! This is the part of me longing for a tangible God! I often think why people don’t follow Jesus is because he isn’t here on earth – tangible. Hollywood movie stars and musicians often fill the void only meant for Jesus – they can be seen, touched and heard. Think of the craze Elvis and The Beatles caused in their day! Right now Jonathan Roumie is doing a fine job of filling the role of Jesus and he takes it very seriously but has said more than once he is not Jesus Christ no matter how much fans want him to be him. He is a servant. His portrayal of Jesus has helped me more than once. It was him I turned to a 4th of July a couple years ago when I was nearly driven to run out of my house and yell at neighbors lighting fireworks all around me. Jesus wasn’t with me tangibly but one of his servants, Jonathan, was when I was calm enough to seek him out. Someday Jesus will tangibly reveal himself to the world and I might not live to see it. I will hopefully see him in heaven if I don’t get to meet him here on earth.
Mark 16:9New International Version
[The earliest manuscripts and some other ancient witnesses do not have verses 9–20.]
9 When Jesus rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene,out of whom he had driven seven demons.
What is one thing you would change about yourself?
Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today has been uneventful. I am feeling a little better after catching another cold. There was talk about something happening today with regard to space people but of course nothing happened! I am thinking something is brewing with the increase in sightings. I am thinking it has to do with the increasing unrest going on in the world – Sabre rattling about using nukes. If I was a space person watching all of what’s going on I think I would want to intervene too!
My answer to today’s prompt is if I could change one thing about myself I would not be Bipolar. Having this diagnosis has really limited me in so many ways. I have lost two marriages and many friendships and relationships with family. I lost a career because of this condition. The only good thing to ever come of being Bipolar was the wellspring of energy and creativity during the times I was manic. I would hardly sleep and my creative abilities seemed endless. I could draw, paint, sing, write, take awesome photos, dance, tap into the spiritual realms – all of this with little to no effort. Having the mania under control with the medication I’m on – Depakote- I can’t do much of anything anymore. This blog is my only outlet! In addition to Bipolar I have the Mal de barque syndrome where I have trouble with balance. I’m convinced it was triggered by my being tased by police when I was having a manic episode two years ago. It just won’t go away! So I guess there are actually two things I wish I could change!
Since I cannot change what I am, I have to push through with it all. I have to force myself to move forward even if I don’t want to. I pray a lot and ask for healing. I am trying to say yes more often when I would usually say no. One of the side affects of Depakote is weight gain and not feeling full after eating. With the balance challenges it’s hard to exercise to get rid of calories but I force myself to get a walk in with Link each day. I’m trying to lower my calorie count too. I am trying to say no more often to eating sweets which is my favorite type of food! Not all of what I am can be blamed on being Bipolar! I wish I could get back to size 16 jeans again. Obesity runs in my Dads side of the family so my genetics are kind of stacked against me along with my diagnosis.
Some scripture about change:
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot”.
Isaiah 43:18-19“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”.
Psalm 30:5“Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”.
Romans 8:28“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”.
2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”.
Hebrews 13:8“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”.
Malachi 3:6“I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed”.
James 1:17“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”.
Ephesians 4:22-24“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”.
Hello to you, I hope this finds you well. Last nights Bible study was good , there were four of us. I have trouble reading scripture and being able to understand it sometimes. I’m glad we have other ladies there to help break it down.
Drawing for today
Today I got to thinking about the probe we sent to the sun. The Parker Probe is the closest thing we have to a door inside of the sun. When I was having my episodes in Texas and spending time outside I felt like I was having a relationship with the sun. Weird I know but during those times everything was communicating with me!
In December 2021, the Parker Probe reached the atmosphere of the sun. Since then, it’s been looping around the sun, drawing closer each time, and sending back tons of data about everything it encounters.Aug 11, 2023
Praise the Lord, you his servants; praise the name of the Lord. 2 Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. 3 From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised.
4 The Lord is exalted over all the nations, his glory above the heavens. 5 Who is like the Lord our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, 6 who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?
7 He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; 8 he seats them with princes, with the princes of his people. 9 He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children.
Hello to you. I’m just back from the Thursday prayer meeting and getting groceries. We had Savanah, Pastor Jason’s daughter with us which was really nice. Apparently her school day started with the school smelling like gasoline! Jeannie was able to come again – she’s so sweet.
Last night I drew a couple pictures. They aren’t my best work but just what I had come through to draw:
Not sure what’s going on with this one Door in the sky of spirits – open For the first time in awhile I just picked up my drawing pad and pen
So where does my name come from? My name was from Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. She was many years before I was born but still an inspiration to my parents I guess!
Matthew 16:13-20New International Version
Peter Declares That Jesus Is the Messiah
13 When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”
14 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist;others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”
15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”
16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Todays prompt is thought provoking for me as it’s rare that I am at perfect peace – relaxed. It feels like I’m always thinking and worrying about “what’s next.” Sometimes food gives me peace, sometimes it’s the company of someone, sometimes my spirituality gives me peace. It’s not a consistent thing. Last year, before the episode that landed me in the the hospital, what gave me peace was long walks in nature and praying for everybody next to the water canals down the street before they tore everything up.
Some of the beauty that existed next to the water canals. A drawing I did in honor of Sam our cocker spaniel – how I imagined he looked as a human in heaven. I’m sure he will be one of the first angels I see when it’s my time and he’ll be a dog. I have had several dreams about him since he passed and he always looks so healthy as a dog. I was at peace when he was here with us.
What used to give me peace was creativity – drawing, singing, painting both on canvas and on t- shirts and making jewelry. What happened is I became self conscious. I realized everything I was doing had an environmental impact – especially our water. It takes water to make the paints and water to use the paints. I started paying attention to where my supplies were coming from like metals I was using for my wire jewelry – Pakistan! Hardly anything from the USA. There was a hefty price for my fleeting peace. I haven’t been doing any of it.
I tried to draw in chalk here but it just wasn’t the same as having the privacy of my backyard.
John 14:27New International Version
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Hello to you. Hope you are doing well. Yesterday was a busy and good day for me. As I mentioned in my blog yesterday I had the prayer group and then later I participated in an online craft class through the VA which was fun and good for me. We wove a basket. In the later part of the day I found out they are finally letting the American people and the world know that extraterrestrials are real and not just the stuff of conspiracy theorists and tinfoil hat wearing people. FINALLY! I think it’s interesting this is happening during the hottest Julys in world history. It’s going to take technology, much more advanced than what we currently have, to reverse this trend. We need it fast and we need it now and I think it’s going to take a collaboration with these beings milling about observing and interacting with us to get it done. My hat is off to the whistle blowers that have the courage to come forward and give us the truth – to give the people in Congress the harsh truth. I told my Aunt that during my last episode there was a night I stood looking out my window into the night sky crying. I was praying and begging for Jesus to return. I visualized the entire sky filled with ships and he was in one of them. I know that sounds nuts but my logic behind it was that if Jesus would come back he would come back with reinforcements! Go big to come home! It’s interesting how Jesus is taking over Hollywood right now through Angel Studios! There are things in the Bible that seem like encounters with aliens – they described them in the terms they had for their times. Things are doing things! Usually anyone proclaiming to be Jesus gets locked up and drugged in a mental ward!
A little basket weaving project – great place for change First drawing I’ve done in almost a year – I truly hope these new revelations coming out of our government lead to positive – global wide changes that benefit us all
Anyhew, I have been interested in aliens most of my life. I had an experience during one of my hospital stays in Texas that involved two gray aliens. In the span of a short dream-like state I was with two grays and I asked them what they were doing to my face and then I saw an image of my face being half gray and half human. Then I was shown a picture of my dog Spot barking at things I couldn’t see. It was so real! I woke up and felt a bump on my nose. I told the staff about it as I was concerned about the bump and they said something cryptic like “let’s just leave it there.” The bump eventually went away. This was all in the span of a short nap that this happened – it was like a real encounter not a dream! Was it medication or something else going on? When I got home Spot and Link both were barking at stuff Kyle and I couldn’t see and more than normal – like something was at the windows they could see but we couldn’t. In the stuff I have heard and read, there are many ways these beings can communicate with us. A lot of strange things happened to me living in Texas and that was by far the strangest.
I am interested to see what comes of these hearings – especially that they have recovered actual bodies. Have they got any still alive? Has there been contact? Are they already helping? There isn’t a moment to lose! I am wondering if they have aliens currently in captivity. How long can aliens live in our atmosphere? I think one of two things is going on either they want to help or they want to take over. I want to believe the best case scenario – they want to help but have to overcome our superstitions and fears. They don’t look cute and cuddly and communicate differently which can be scary. We have a lot of people in our country like “preppers” that might take news like this as what they have been waiting for. A lot of fear – shoot first and ask questions later. I think, as do many, that it’s arrogant to think God only made us. There are so many life sustaining galaxies and planets! They have been saying for most of my life that there is no way other beings could get here – it would take too long. I think with the things we are finally being allowed to see, there are ways to travel that don’t take so long – we just haven’t got the technology or know how to figure it out. Some of the travel being discussed is inter-dimensional.
So anyways – I’m excited as are many people like me, to see and know more. I was happy to share this news with my Aunt and she actually looked into it herself! I really feel with what we are seeing happen around the earth it’s time to acknowledge we need help. What’s happening is happening in faster and faster cycles. We as a species have disrupted the entire cycles of our planet in just a short time!
Matthew 24:30 NIV
30 “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth[c] will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory.[d]31 And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.
Hello to you. How is your week thus far! My week is going ok. I’m sitting on the front porch with Link as I write to you. Its still pretty nice out. I wish it would rain so my car would get rinsed off! Its pretty dirty! I know as soon as I wash it pollen and dust will cover it again.
Todays prompt makes me think of when I was being creative and crafting. When I made jewelry, did drawing in chalks on the back porch and also when I used to be play video games. When I get in the flow, the zone where I’m focused on something so completely I am not operating in time and a place. When I’m doing something I love to do it’s such a good feeling. It’s been a couple years since I had this feeling. I can remember when I used to draw portraits of people I would sit for hours and be totally focused but that was mainly when I was younger.
Psalm 145:9New International Version
9 The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
A smile from Link One of my neighbors trees – looks like green apples I saw this bloom last night but didn’t have my phone so went back for it this morning!
Hello there! How are you today? It’s a bright and sunny day here. I haven’t been taking pictures lately as I haven’t been on my usual walks in the afternoon. My back is feeling better so I need to get back to it! There is beauty happening!
Todays prompt is a great one. Just last night before trying to fall asleep I talked out loud to Jesus. I haven’t done that in a very long time. Spirituality, relationship with God is very important to me and is a favorite subject to discuss. Ever since what happened last August, I have felt kind of distant from God. I felt like God had abandoned me but that’s probably to the contrary of reality. If I had kept going on the path I was on I probably would have ended up in jail! God intervened in the most extreme way. I was convinced, once again, the world was ending and Jesus was coming back. I felt like he was taking too long so I was going to initiate things on my own! Not a good idea! I never want to be in the situation to be tased again! It was very traumatic. I just wasn’t in control of myself anymore.
When I get overcome by the spirit world, which is what has happened prior to me being hospitalized every time, I become very reckless and sometimes even angry and violent – not entirely in charge of “driving my car.” The car being my body. It’s like being possessed by forces beyond my control. This last time I took a meat cleaver to the inside of my house and broke a bunch of momentos and other things that were glass. I got rid of all my identification. I was convinced that my Link had been left to die in the house. There are a lot of things I don’t remember happening – they are blacked out. Thank God for my family! They came and restored order to my little house and they all are the extensions of the living God in my life.
When I have talked to most Christians, especially women, they have said loving Jesus is about relationship not religion. From my own experience, I agree! I have to be careful to not get too religious. I have been neglecting and struggling with my relationship because of my health lately. This swaying motion in my head , fullness in my ears and playing with the cocktail to get my mental health right has affected my relationship with Jesus AND myself. Everything is such an effort and I get so tired so easily so I want to sleep a lot. My patterns for sleep and being awake are all wonky. My doctors think it’s the medication and we will be trying something new, Abilify, to see if things get better.
I just want my spiritual/creative juices back! The kicker is with the medication to control mania, whatever it ends up being, I will probably never be as creative as I once was. With Bipolar 1, which is my primary diagnosis, mania is to be avoided and is the primary target of the medication I take. It’s either risk being overcome by mania and be creative or not be manic and have little to no creativity. I want peace of mind for myself and those who love and care about me. So who I once was is forever on the chopping block! I used to feel so close to God as I understood him. The ways of that connection, my creativity, spirituality, have been stifled ever since I started taking heavier medications. I haven’t drawn a picture or written a poem, crocheted, made jewelry or done something that I used to do in almost a year! Anything I have done has felt forced – not just flowing with usual ease it used to. It’s like writers block. I try to just take a pen to paper and nothing comes.
I have to remind myself that I need to focus on what I can do – not on what I can’t! Taking pictures on walks has become one of the new ways to share my eyes for Gods beautiful creation but even that is limited by my physical health!
One of the last drawings I’ve done. This was about going to Grace House, a home Grace Bible Church has leased within walking distance for me.
Matthew 8:28-34New American Standard Bible
Jesus Sends Demons into Pigs
28 And when He came to the other side into the country of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men confronted Him as they were coming out of the tombs. They were so extremely violent that no one could pass by that way. 29 And they cried out, saying, “[a]What business do You have with us, Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before [b]the time?” 30 Now there was a herd of many pigs feeding at a distance from them. 31 And the demons begged Him, saying, “If You are going to cast us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”32 And He said to them, “Go!” And they came out and went into the pigs; and behold, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea and [c]drowned in the waters. 33 And the herdsmen ran away, and went to the city and reported everything, [d]including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. 34 And behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus; and when they saw Him, they pleaded with Him to leave their region.
On the walk home from Grace House there was this vision in purple
Warning a poem by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people’s gardens And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?
Hello there! How are you? Hopefully we’ll. Todays prompt is a thought provoking one – there are so many jobs I’m interested in that I would just want to try out for a day if I had more energy. In the course of my life I’ve done the military personnel thing (basically a secretary) and a lot of creative things like painting and drawing- photography, tried energy healing, tried local politics, so something else would be trying out being a spiritual leader for a day – like a pastor or something. It would have to be for just one day as I look at our church and how much our Pastor and his family have to be involved with and it’s exhausting to even contemplate! There is so much involved with being a spiritual leader I think. You are always in the lime light and expected to be a certain way which might be hard to live up to. You are like a doctor I imagine – never off duty. Always on call. I would probably only last a day but better a minister than a politician! I tried politics and didn’t like it.
Colossians 3:12-17New International Version
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love,which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Drawing I did about what it must be like to be God or a Guardian Angel – so many doors open with people crying out for help. This drawing could apply to being a man or woman of the cloth too – always being called on by so many. Who to answer first?!! How to prioritize?!
To be 