Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Todays prompt is thought provoking for me as it’s rare that I am at perfect peace – relaxed. It feels like I’m always thinking and worrying about “what’s next.” Sometimes food gives me peace, sometimes it’s the company of someone, sometimes my spirituality gives me peace. It’s not a consistent thing. Last year, before the episode that landed me in the the hospital, what gave me peace was long walks in nature and praying for everybody next to the water canals down the street before they tore everything up.
Some of the beauty that existed next to the water canals. A drawing I did in honor of Sam our cocker spaniel – how I imagined he looked as a human in heaven. I’m sure he will be one of the first angels I see when it’s my time and he’ll be a dog. I have had several dreams about him since he passed and he always looks so healthy as a dog. I was at peace when he was here with us.
What used to give me peace was creativity – drawing, singing, painting both on canvas and on t- shirts and making jewelry. What happened is I became self conscious. I realized everything I was doing had an environmental impact – especially our water. It takes water to make the paints and water to use the paints. I started paying attention to where my supplies were coming from like metals I was using for my wire jewelry – Pakistan! Hardly anything from the USA. There was a hefty price for my fleeting peace. I haven’t been doing any of it.
I tried to draw in chalk here but it just wasn’t the same as having the privacy of my backyard.
John 14:27New International Version
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Hello to you. Hope you are doing well. Yesterday was a busy and good day for me. As I mentioned in my blog yesterday I had the prayer group and then later I participated in an online craft class through the VA which was fun and good for me. We wove a basket. In the later part of the day I found out they are finally letting the American people and the world know that extraterrestrials are real and not just the stuff of conspiracy theorists and tinfoil hat wearing people. FINALLY! I think it’s interesting this is happening during the hottest Julys in world history. It’s going to take technology, much more advanced than what we currently have, to reverse this trend. We need it fast and we need it now and I think it’s going to take a collaboration with these beings milling about observing and interacting with us to get it done. My hat is off to the whistle blowers that have the courage to come forward and give us the truth – to give the people in Congress the harsh truth. I told my Aunt that during my last episode there was a night I stood looking out my window into the night sky crying. I was praying and begging for Jesus to return. I visualized the entire sky filled with ships and he was in one of them. I know that sounds nuts but my logic behind it was that if Jesus would come back he would come back with reinforcements! Go big to come home! It’s interesting how Jesus is taking over Hollywood right now through Angel Studios! There are things in the Bible that seem like encounters with aliens – they described them in the terms they had for their times. Things are doing things! Usually anyone proclaiming to be Jesus gets locked up and drugged in a mental ward!
A little basket weaving project – great place for change First drawing I’ve done in almost a year – I truly hope these new revelations coming out of our government lead to positive – global wide changes that benefit us all
Anyhew, I have been interested in aliens most of my life. I had an experience during one of my hospital stays in Texas that involved two gray aliens. In the span of a short dream-like state I was with two grays and I asked them what they were doing to my face and then I saw an image of my face being half gray and half human. Then I was shown a picture of my dog Spot barking at things I couldn’t see. It was so real! I woke up and felt a bump on my nose. I told the staff about it as I was concerned about the bump and they said something cryptic like “let’s just leave it there.” The bump eventually went away. This was all in the span of a short nap that this happened – it was like a real encounter not a dream! Was it medication or something else going on? When I got home Spot and Link both were barking at stuff Kyle and I couldn’t see and more than normal – like something was at the windows they could see but we couldn’t. In the stuff I have heard and read, there are many ways these beings can communicate with us. A lot of strange things happened to me living in Texas and that was by far the strangest.
I am interested to see what comes of these hearings – especially that they have recovered actual bodies. Have they got any still alive? Has there been contact? Are they already helping? There isn’t a moment to lose! I am wondering if they have aliens currently in captivity. How long can aliens live in our atmosphere? I think one of two things is going on either they want to help or they want to take over. I want to believe the best case scenario – they want to help but have to overcome our superstitions and fears. They don’t look cute and cuddly and communicate differently which can be scary. We have a lot of people in our country like “preppers” that might take news like this as what they have been waiting for. A lot of fear – shoot first and ask questions later. I think, as do many, that it’s arrogant to think God only made us. There are so many life sustaining galaxies and planets! They have been saying for most of my life that there is no way other beings could get here – it would take too long. I think with the things we are finally being allowed to see, there are ways to travel that don’t take so long – we just haven’t got the technology or know how to figure it out. Some of the travel being discussed is inter-dimensional.
So anyways – I’m excited as are many people like me, to see and know more. I was happy to share this news with my Aunt and she actually looked into it herself! I really feel with what we are seeing happen around the earth it’s time to acknowledge we need help. What’s happening is happening in faster and faster cycles. We as a species have disrupted the entire cycles of our planet in just a short time!
Matthew 24:30 NIV
30 “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth[c] will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory.[d]31 And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.
Hello to you. How is your week thus far! My week is going ok. I’m sitting on the front porch with Link as I write to you. Its still pretty nice out. I wish it would rain so my car would get rinsed off! Its pretty dirty! I know as soon as I wash it pollen and dust will cover it again.
Todays prompt makes me think of when I was being creative and crafting. When I made jewelry, did drawing in chalks on the back porch and also when I used to be play video games. When I get in the flow, the zone where I’m focused on something so completely I am not operating in time and a place. When I’m doing something I love to do it’s such a good feeling. It’s been a couple years since I had this feeling. I can remember when I used to draw portraits of people I would sit for hours and be totally focused but that was mainly when I was younger.
Psalm 145:9New International Version
9 The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
A smile from Link One of my neighbors trees – looks like green apples I saw this bloom last night but didn’t have my phone so went back for it this morning!
Hello there! How are you today? It’s a bright and sunny day here. I haven’t been taking pictures lately as I haven’t been on my usual walks in the afternoon. My back is feeling better so I need to get back to it! There is beauty happening!
Todays prompt is a great one. Just last night before trying to fall asleep I talked out loud to Jesus. I haven’t done that in a very long time. Spirituality, relationship with God is very important to me and is a favorite subject to discuss. Ever since what happened last August, I have felt kind of distant from God. I felt like God had abandoned me but that’s probably to the contrary of reality. If I had kept going on the path I was on I probably would have ended up in jail! God intervened in the most extreme way. I was convinced, once again, the world was ending and Jesus was coming back. I felt like he was taking too long so I was going to initiate things on my own! Not a good idea! I never want to be in the situation to be tased again! It was very traumatic. I just wasn’t in control of myself anymore.
When I get overcome by the spirit world, which is what has happened prior to me being hospitalized every time, I become very reckless and sometimes even angry and violent – not entirely in charge of “driving my car.” The car being my body. It’s like being possessed by forces beyond my control. This last time I took a meat cleaver to the inside of my house and broke a bunch of momentos and other things that were glass. I got rid of all my identification. I was convinced that my Link had been left to die in the house. There are a lot of things I don’t remember happening – they are blacked out. Thank God for my family! They came and restored order to my little house and they all are the extensions of the living God in my life.
When I have talked to most Christians, especially women, they have said loving Jesus is about relationship not religion. From my own experience, I agree! I have to be careful to not get too religious. I have been neglecting and struggling with my relationship because of my health lately. This swaying motion in my head , fullness in my ears and playing with the cocktail to get my mental health right has affected my relationship with Jesus AND myself. Everything is such an effort and I get so tired so easily so I want to sleep a lot. My patterns for sleep and being awake are all wonky. My doctors think it’s the medication and we will be trying something new, Abilify, to see if things get better.
I just want my spiritual/creative juices back! The kicker is with the medication to control mania, whatever it ends up being, I will probably never be as creative as I once was. With Bipolar 1, which is my primary diagnosis, mania is to be avoided and is the primary target of the medication I take. It’s either risk being overcome by mania and be creative or not be manic and have little to no creativity. I want peace of mind for myself and those who love and care about me. So who I once was is forever on the chopping block! I used to feel so close to God as I understood him. The ways of that connection, my creativity, spirituality, have been stifled ever since I started taking heavier medications. I haven’t drawn a picture or written a poem, crocheted, made jewelry or done something that I used to do in almost a year! Anything I have done has felt forced – not just flowing with usual ease it used to. It’s like writers block. I try to just take a pen to paper and nothing comes.
I have to remind myself that I need to focus on what I can do – not on what I can’t! Taking pictures on walks has become one of the new ways to share my eyes for Gods beautiful creation but even that is limited by my physical health!
One of the last drawings I’ve done. This was about going to Grace House, a home Grace Bible Church has leased within walking distance for me.
Matthew 8:28-34New American Standard Bible
Jesus Sends Demons into Pigs
28 And when He came to the other side into the country of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men confronted Him as they were coming out of the tombs. They were so extremely violent that no one could pass by that way. 29 And they cried out, saying, “[a]What business do You have with us, Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before [b]the time?” 30 Now there was a herd of many pigs feeding at a distance from them. 31 And the demons begged Him, saying, “If You are going to cast us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”32 And He said to them, “Go!” And they came out and went into the pigs; and behold, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea and [c]drowned in the waters. 33 And the herdsmen ran away, and went to the city and reported everything, [d]including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. 34 And behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus; and when they saw Him, they pleaded with Him to leave their region.
On the walk home from Grace House there was this vision in purple
Warning a poem by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people’s gardens And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?
Hello there! How are you? Hopefully we’ll. Todays prompt is a thought provoking one – there are so many jobs I’m interested in that I would just want to try out for a day if I had more energy. In the course of my life I’ve done the military personnel thing (basically a secretary) and a lot of creative things like painting and drawing- photography, tried energy healing, tried local politics, so something else would be trying out being a spiritual leader for a day – like a pastor or something. It would have to be for just one day as I look at our church and how much our Pastor and his family have to be involved with and it’s exhausting to even contemplate! There is so much involved with being a spiritual leader I think. You are always in the lime light and expected to be a certain way which might be hard to live up to. You are like a doctor I imagine – never off duty. Always on call. I would probably only last a day but better a minister than a politician! I tried politics and didn’t like it.
Colossians 3:12-17New International Version
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love,which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Drawing I did about what it must be like to be God or a Guardian Angel – so many doors open with people crying out for help. This drawing could apply to being a man or woman of the cloth too – always being called on by so many. Who to answer first?!! How to prioritize?!
Hello to you. How are you today? I’m just back from church – wasn’t sure if I was going but I did go. There are so many nice people that go and as I get regular with my attendance, the more people I get to know. The next event the ladies are having is a Ladies Tea on the 20th. My Aunt and I are planning on attending.
Todays message was more about the life of Abraham. The part we went over was when Abraham’s wife didn’t want to wait any longer for the God promised baby and she suggested Abraham conceive with Hagar the slave. The message about that was when we push our will instead of waiting can cause heart ache. The other message, and this has come up before, is how our hearts can’t be trusted. I wanted to put up my hand and disagree! One of my favorite sayings is from a 1920’s movie called Metropolis “the mediator between the head and hands must be the heart.” That silent movie was about how ruthless a business person can be without using their heart. As a woman and an empath I use my heart a lot! Sadly that’s probably why I have so many labels and mental health issues.! So much inner conflict between my brain and my heart.
I understand the intent of the message is to encourage us to get closer to God and not lean completely on our understanding but as I’m experiencing lately – God has been really quiet and without using my heart, I wouldn’t keep going to church and try to find a way to serve God and the community.
The world can be a heartless place – all you have to do is look at a news feed or talk to someone. It’s hard to find and achieve balance between using my heart and leaning on God. How can you love others as you should love God and yourself without using and trusting your heart?!
There is so much conflict for me with how we are taught to operate in this world. On the one hand we are taught to turn inward and find God and wisdom. There is emphasis on prayer and meditation which comes from within and then flows out. On the other hand we are taught that our inner selves are unreliable and inherently bad . We are taught to look outside ourselves for guidance and wisdom. This was what I learned in AA and all the church’s I’ve been to. I was taught I’m not trustworthy on my own. How can be turning inward to where the Holy Spirit is supposed to be bad? Where does the Holy Spirit within us reside? Where does our souls energy reside?
I am still learning and have to trust God will show me his truth.
I guess I don’t like to hear that on my own I’m not a good person. I have spent a lot of my life in therapy to deal with low self esteem issues! That’s probably not what is intentioned in todays message but that’s what I heard and keep hearing. That’s the tough job of a Pastor I guess – sometimes to tell us not what we want to hear but need to hear? Pastor Jason said it was a hard sermon for him to write and I can see why!
One of my drawings – this was during one of my more creative phases
Acts 2 : 2-4
The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost
2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues[a] as the Spirit enabled them.
Hello to you. Hard to believe it’s Friday again. Today is the celebration of Cinco Demayo and my exe in-laws 44th wedding anniversary. It’s so rare that people stay together that long. Even though I’m no longer married to their son I still consider them to be family. Once I love you it takes a lot for me to stop loving you. They are good people!
Todays prompt makes me think. I have never really had a direction in my life other than wanting to be a good person but it’s not been easy. Wanting to please God has flitted through my life, not to displease my family and friends has also been a reason for a direction. As I’ve mentioned before, as a young child and teenager I wanted to be famous but let go of that when I saw what fame does to peoples lives. Another primary direction has been not wanting to be forgotten. Since I never had children I have no one to pass my legacy on to.
A primary director, the Holy Spirit, seems quiet if not silent in my life. For so many years I felt I had a close connection. I could write, sing, draw, paint and make jewelry and other things. It’s probably just my being in an in between place right now. I think it’s also the medication I’m on that prevents mania from happening. Taking Lithium is different than taking Depakote and Zyprexa. I kind of miss the creativity and spirituality that comes with being manic. I think another reason for the lack of direction is the fact I’m still healing from my wounds these past couple of years. I am trying to stay open to God – to the Holy Spirit. I don’t think God is done with me yet!
A drawing I did back in 2015. I named it 7712 but I remember thinking of the title “Waiting” for it. I miss drawing like this – it’s like my creativity spigot is completely closed.
Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Hello to you. How are you doing? I’m just waking up. I had problems getting to and staying asleep last night. My Aunt is coming over in a bit to do a fitting on the dress I bought for the wedding this month. She’s taking it in a little bit. They didn’t have a 2x size so it’s a little big on me.
Todays prompt makes me think of good childhood memories of camping. I used to go with my grandparents Schmidt and can remember going with my babysitter Mary Tennessen one time. With my grandparents there was fishing and swimming. Sitting out at night and there being tons of frogs. I can remember my Grandpa scaring me through the window with a fish he caught! One of my favorite memories was of Grandma taking me swimming and there being little fish nibbling my toes. With the Tennessens I remember a May fly hatching and thousands of them were attracted to the inside lights of the camper! I haven’t been camping since those days.
As I’ve gotten older I have become a creature of comforts. Not really a camping girl! I like watching videos of people living out of their vans and RVs – having the comforts of home while traveling and visiting nature. It’s pretty amazing to see how creative people are!
This came out after my drawing Teacher – drawing I did of Jesus
Hello to you. How are you today. I woke up earlier than normal which was a good thing. My kitchen sink area was full of ants again. I am having natural pest control people come out Monday to give me an estimate. I could just go buy some product from the store but want an expert to do it. This way the problem won’t reoccur. I don’t like poison! I’m glad they have developed natural solutions!
Todays prompt is a good one. As you know from my blog here I like to discuss a wide range of topics but have my favorites. I enjoy discussing spirituality, mental health, animals and just nature in general. All these topics are connected for me.
John 13:34New International Version
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
Whenever I have had discussions with women who believe in God and go to church they have told me it’s about having a relationship with God not religion. That’s how it is for me. God is in everything. It’s really kind of amazing to look at the world with God inspired eyes – so many miracles. Like this spring watching so many flowers and trees springing forth with life. Babies from two legged and four being born. There is hope in these things – topics.
A drawing I did when I lived in Alvarado TX. I used to go to a pond there and pray. I haven’t been drawing like this in a long time. The inspiration and creativity gets kind of stifled when I’m medicated. One of my favorite drawings I did I called Seeing the Beginning A very spiritual drawing from back in 2012 I did this drawing and later there was a picture that came out of what Jesus may have looked like that looked just like this drawing.
To be 