Thinking about A Book of Clouds by John A. Day. Lots of geese have been passing through lately. My friend Beth got this book for me during one of my hospital stays and it brought me so much comfort as I love clouds and couldn’t see them in the hospitalTen reasons to Look Up (hope you can read the print)My little somebody Link Buds showing up on my neighbors treeSome of my favorite flowers – dandelions SunsetPine trees are waking up tooSome Idahoans doing some spring house shopping. With the drought I’ve been concerned about the animals and plants having enough water.
There was a good message today from A Woman’s Spirit. It speaks to the importance of remembering we are not all experiencing this life in the same way. It’s biologically impossible! Our bodies alone prove this point. All the walks of life with their different bodies. Different levels of vision for example. Some people can see really well and others are blind! Think of a concert and all the different eyes witnessing it. Not everyone will come away from that concert perceiving it… experiencing it the same way. It helps me to remember this when interacting with different people. It helps me be more empathetic….more understanding during times of agreement or disagreement.
The message is so good I want to share the whole thing:
There are many realities. We should member this when we get too caught up in being concerned about the way the rest of the world lives or how we think they live. -Natalie Goldberg
One of the most elusive truths we’ll ever struggle to grasp is that everyone has a unique perspective about every circumstance, a perspective that reflects a personal understanding of the universe. We never doubt that truth for ourselves, of course. We simply fail to acknowledge that it’s true for everyone else too.
There are times we can’t shake the need to be right; our egos depend on it. Unfortunately, we can’t maintain any real peacefulness if we are always in conflict with others who have their own viewpoints. Winning the “battle” then becomes a painful victory. Believing in valid, separate realities is only difficult at first. But like any other opinion or attitude, it can become habit with enough practice. We have nothing to lose by giving it a try.
I don’t need everyone to agree with me today. I only think I do.
Hello to you today. I hope this finds you well. Todays post is going to be mostly pictures. The messages in A Woman’s Spirit will hopefully resonate:
To each particular person the world speaks a different, particular word and calls for a different, particular response. – Mary McDermott Shideler
I am invited to experience particular situations today. My presence is needed if I am called.
Daffodils in a neighbors yard Wonders of renewed life of trees – budsGetting green again Some of the trees start spring with flowersTrees with unique purposesReaccuring and reassuring message Thomas Preface for Thomas’s poem A FlowerThomas’s poem A Flower – spring is a great time to appreciate some of Gods finest work
One of my neighbors trees. The bees were loving it! Grape Hyacinth (I think) I thought it was a blue bonnet like in Texas at first glance Spring peaking up through winters debris
Hello to you. How are you? Hope this finds you well. I dreamt about my dog Spot again last night. She was running loose for some reason and found me. I miss her but she’s living her best life right now so grateful about that. She and I share dreams pretty often.
Yesterday I walked over to the Sunrise Cafe (https://www.theoriginalsunrisecafe.com/) for breakfast and got to witness one of those God moments. A man with a cane walked in and sat down at a booth by himself. Then the main waitress went over and sat across from him. She noticed he was wearing a hospital bracelet and asked him about it. He said he was having some “medical stuff” going on. One of the the things was cancer. He was going through chemo. After she left I then had the courage to say hello too. What was so beautiful was his smile. For all that he was dealing with he was still smiling. Your attitude when your facing adversity really makes a difference in how things will go for you. The Sunrise is becoming my go to place ! Good food and good people both who work there and the customers.
Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit talks about how sometimes we have to let go of our problems that might be going on that we just don’t know what to do about and make space for spiritual solutions….”let God on it!”
“When we loosen our grasp on our concerns, there is room for the spiritual essence of all life to move through us in such a way that healing occurs.” – Carol Sheffield
I will not be caught in a problem today if I am quiet and ready for the solution. Stillness engulfs me now.
This morning I was looking through my books and decided to take out a book of poetry written by a family friend named Tom Snooks. He struggled and died from cancer many years ago. It made me think of the man from the restaurant who is currently struggling. The poem I want to share is one he wrote about spring:
Tom prefaced his poems with what prompted him to write it.Is it Spring?
Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Last night my Aunt, three friends of hers and I went to see the opening night of Matilda at the Nampa Civic Center. We made it through the first half and decided that was enough. The little girl that was cast as Matilda just didn’t resonate with us. For example for the first song none of us could understand what she was singing and it was loud. My favorite character was Miss Agatha Trunchbull. The man playing the part was hilarious. As with most things in the performance arts, the performer will either resonate with you or they won’t. Not everyone likes Bono from U2 for example. The little girl just didn’t resonate with me. That’s not saying she wasn’t talented or anything like that. So that was interesting and it’s the first time I’ve driven at night here!
I was thinking about my post yesterday about how I see, experience and understand God. What came to me as an example of how complex it must be to answer even the smallest of prayers was a family meal. Think about some of the meals you make, even just the trip to the grocery store. So many little pieces go into even just a hot dog or peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s like an episode of How It’s Made but for each and every part of the meal. I think about all the people involved with the life of food, machinery, climactic conditions like floods or droughts, the health of the animal stock, fuel prices….so many little pieces have to fit together for just one hot dog! When I began thinking about how complex it is to make a family meal or even feeding just one person, it made me think of what it must be like to be God answering or not answering a prayer. How complicated it must be to have everything in alignment…..so many little pieces. Sometimes pieces seen as insignificant or not relevant but if they are missing things can’t happen. I truly believe that behind every unanswered prayer there is a reason. The other thing to remember too is sometimes what we want and are asking God for isn’t possible…..realistic. Sometimes the answer isn’t how we expect it and we miss it. Sometimes we have to wait for answer. Just like with putting together a meal – all the individual pieces in all the ways those individual items come to reality have to be acquired for that meal to happen! I think Covid has shown us a lot about how dependent we are on each other – like factory workers and truck drivers for example.
The other thing I thought about yesterday with regards to answered and unanswered prayers – people in particular. What is often overlooked is the individual will of the people we are praying for. We don’t know what they want for themselves. We don’t know what kind of conversations they are having with their Higher Power. For example we might find out someone has cancer and immediately begin praying they be cured. What if the person doesn’t want to be cured? What if they want things to be over with? Again….not as simple as things may seem. I think about what we are told Jesus said when he prayed about the sparing of his own life…(Luke 22:42) 42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup(F) from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Jesus had his own relationship with God. The apostles could pray for his life to be spared but Jesus was already working things out with God for himself.
Little pieces of the big picture to consider when you are deciding if you do or don’t believe in God. The stuff I’m sharing is what strengthens my personal relationship with The God of my understanding.
The messages from A Woman’s Spirit were good. Sometimes when people get into recovery and are feeling better they try to make up for lost time. They try to do too much at once. It’s important to remember that even doing a small part, a little piece of what you want to accomplish is enough:
I don’t train for a marathon when I simply want to run five mile races. -Patricia Roth Wuertzer
Today I’ll remind myself that I don’t have to complete a big project every day. Making some progress is enough.
Hello to you. How’s your week been? I’m tired. I struggled with getting to sleep last night even with the medicine I have to try and help me. It’s comforting I guess to know I’m not alone in my experience!
The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today had to do with letting people in our lives be responsible for their own actions:
My children have a Higher Power, and it’s not me. – Carolyn White
I will focus on my life and my Higher Power today. Others’ actions are not my responsibility.
What’s hard about this message is for parents and authority figures they are put in the position of being responsible for other peoples actions. There are laws in place to help with that for authority figures in our world but not so much for the average parent! There has been a long suffering agreement that children don’t come with a users manual! Sometimes it’s really difficult to know where you end and others begin. We are so interconnected.
This morning I was thinking on last Sundays church message. How the way we deal with difficult people matters to God. This morning I reread the passage in the Bible that was used as the reference for the message. It’s in Romans:
9 Love must be sincere.(A) Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.(B)10 Be devoted to one another in love.(C) Honor one another above yourselves.(D)11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor,(E) serving the Lord.12 Be joyful in hope,(F) patient in affliction,(G)faithful in prayer.(H)13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need.(I) Practice hospitality.(J)
14 Bless those who persecute you;(K) bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.(L)16 Live in harmony with one another.(M) Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited.(N)
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil.(O) Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.(P)18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.(Q)19 Do not take revenge,(R) my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[b](S) says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[c](T)
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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It’s hard sometimes not to want to retaliate when we or someone we care about has been harmed in some way. From my own experience the defense mechanism is almost a reflex. It really takes a lot of self awareness and control to be able to stop yourself in difficult situations from reacting from a defensive posture. To “turn the other cheek” versus putting up fists. This message today is difficult when I think about the Ukraine and Russia. When it comes to this sort of situation, a war, how are people suppose to react when being peace loving could cost them their lives? I am praying about this question.
A lot of non-believers ask where is God? Where was God when _________ was happening to me or someone else? Why does/is God allow horrible things to happen? Sometimes I ask myself the same thing when stuff is going on. How I comfort myself is I can’t see the whole picture of this existence – but God can. God isn’t limited in years and experience like we are. God is the big picture. I think of cause and effect – there are so many pieces and parts to even just one moment….how complicated it must be to answer even the smallest of prayers. I think of saying a prayer to save a person or animals life. How many specific seemingly minute little things have to happen to answer that one prayer. How many other prayers have to go unanswered so that yours can be answered? I don’t envy Gods job!
Trees have started budding hereI had to talk to God and myself this morning while feeling anxiety
Hello to you. How are you? Today began with one of those anxiety attacks I get once in awhile. I think it has to do with sleep apnea but I’m not sure. I just know I kind of freaked out. I had to pull out some tools from my sanity toolkit to get myself calmed down. I started with talking to God and went to the Bible to try and find comforting messages. I looked through so many chapters….the concordance for anxiety and comfort and just couldn’t find what I was looking for. It came to me to try the “Big Book” from Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically Step 3….made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I ended up making my Twitch Stream today mostly about this step. When I initially entered into the program this step was hard. My sponsor reassured me that it didn’t have to be just the God of the Bible that I turned my will….surrendered to. It had to be a power that wasn’t me. It was me that got me into the mess I was in. Chances were that it wasn’t going to be my own will that was going to get me free. I just had to acknowledge I was powerless over alcohol (among other things of an addictive nature), admit I had a problem and then, most importantly, be WILLING to ask for help….accept help the way it came. What I realized using this program is if you get to the core of why addiction happens there are fewer what’s. A lot of people I met in AA were self medicating – they had a lot of “why’s” they were covering up with alcohol. They needed therapy and either couldn’t get it or would rather have the stigma of being an alcoholic than the stigma that comes with mental illness. When I look at my own life with help and by myself, there were so many why’s to my addictions. I kept trying to fill voids in my life with people, places and things. Many of those voids were of an intangible nature. You can’t put tangible things in the space where only the intangible dwells.
The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today had to do with friendship. The power we learn through the program is we can choose better friends. Here is a thought provoking part of the message:
“We may not have picked our friends carefully in our youth. Many of us felt pressured to hang out with a crowd that didn’t share our values. We frequently lived up to their expectations of us rather than our own. The internal conflict was painful, and we may still suffer from it.”
My choice of friends today reflects the health of my recovery.
________
It’s pretty easy to tell who are true friends are in life. They are the ones who are still there for you and comfort you as you clean up the mess you’ve made. I consider many members of my family also as dear friends! When we are young it feels like we don’t have a great power of choosing – so much is chosen for us!
Speaking of friendship! Last night Astravert did a wonderful collaboration with some fellow musicians on Twitch:
Yesterday evening Link and I took a walk and I remembered to take my phone. As I am getting more at home here I am spending more time getting to know the neighborhood trees.
Backyard tree Evening sun through branches Same tree with sunlight Walking with my dear friend Link Many in one treeAnother one of the Willow trees in our neighborhood Some pine
Some uplifting words. I want to fill myself with positive spirit food today. I knew I could count on Jesus for that! A light in so much darkness that surrounds us these days. I encourage you to temper all the bad news with uplifting things! Be conscious of who and what you are allowing to feed your soul.
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.(B) 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.(C) 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.(D) 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.(E) 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.(F) 8 Blessed are the pure in heart,(G) for they will see God.(H) 9 Blessed are the peacemakers,(I) for they will be called children of God.(J) 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,(K) for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.(L)
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you,(M)persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.(N)12 Rejoice and be glad,(O) because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.(P)
Hello to you. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I went to church today and there were good messages for us. What stuck out for me is talking about the appropriate way to treat those difficult people in our lives. We all have or have had them. The natural tendency is to treat those types unkindly and this goes against what we have been taught. I think of Joyce Meyers and how despite everything her parents did or didn’t do to her as a child she still took care of them and treated them with love and kindness until the day they died. As a result her Dad actually accepted Jesus shortly before he died….do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I like that Pastor Jason Boyd suggested we start small. Start with your own home, your neighborhood and the place you work. I would add starting with yourself- are you at war inside your own skin?
The messages in A Woman’s Spirit talk about the importance of our stories. In our stories of trials and difficulties is hope. When we share our stories other people going through similar things can see possible solutions, find strength and see that those troubles pass! Here is the message for today:
I can’t expect you to share yourself if I can’t do the same. – Cathy Stone
We have been told we benefit from sharing our stories with others. However, most of us have shared intimate details of our lives in the past, only to have them repeated all over town. We may have decided that nothing was safe to share.
Now we are asked once again to share our secrets. What seems even stranger is that we’re asked to tell them to people whose last names we don’t even know. How crazy this seems when we first enter a Twelve Step program. Until we do it, however, we will not reap the benefits that are in store. We can only discover how like others we really are by telling them about us and then listening while they share similar stories. The intimacy that follows transforms our lives. Our time for self disclosure has come. Let’s rejoice and reap the rewards.
I will tell a trusted friend who I really am today. I can count on affirmation and acceptance if I choose my friend well.
_________________
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom* to know the difference.
*Remember we can learn from the past but we cannot change it. We are not powerless – we have right now. More of better nows means a lot less wreckage in our past and more hope for the future. I believe it is in sharing our stories we can heal and break the chains of multigenerational trauma.
Willow tree I just love in our neighborhood She has a huge trunk I think it’s so prettyAnother beauty in our neighborhood Drawing that came to me today
Hello to you. How are you? It’s Saturday and overcast. The sun is peaking out a little bit. Yesterday was nice. I went to breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe and was blessed – a couple that were in there with me paid for my breakfast! I was really touched by that. I got a couple walks in with Link. It was during the evening walk I snapped the pictures of this Willow tree down the street. I just love it! This neighborhood has some lovely mature trees.
The message in A Woman’s Spirit is really good. It reminds us that we can’t control or change the past or future. What we can control about ourselves is right now. We are not powerless in our present moment.
A Woman’s Spirit message for today:
With one foot in the past and the other in the future, how can we possibly know what new path we might follow today? -Jan Pishok
Now is all there is. But how often, really, are our minds in the present? Honestly, aren’t we much more focused on what just happened or what we fear will happen in the next hour or day or year? Being here, now, means giving up the past absolutely. It also means relinquishing all thoughts about the future. Occupying our minds with the experience of this instant only seems hard to do. We’re far more used to greater chaos than what we experience solely in the here as now.
We have a direction that’s right for us. Unfortunately, we miss the road signs because we are still looking over our shoulder at what we passed yesterday. The destiny we need, needs us too. Quietly focusing on our lives , one moment at a time, can assure us of fulfilling it.
Letting go of the noise I carry in my mind changes my life. I can feel and acknowledge what’s here when my mind is open.
_______________
It’s important to remember that we can’t change the past. We can learn from the past but we can’t change it. Working on staying mindful in our present can leave a better past behind us.
Hello to you. How are you this Friday? I’m doing ok. Kind of slow going today.
A reminder for myself today!
Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit touched on expectations. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. I have to remind myself that each of us is different. We are all at different phases of life….our journey. Sometimes we expect from others things we were raised to believe ourselves and what we believe may not resonate. Sometimes the lessons we have been taught and learned haven’t been by the people we share this existence with. We may get frustrated and or resentful that they aren’t on the same page as us. It’s important to remember where we came from, who we have been and forgive others who are just catching up! I experienced this in AA. Others who were further along in their sobriety journey were kind and patient with us newcomers! Like my friend and I talked about today on the stream too is sometimes you have to let people go with love especially if having them in your life will sabotage your peace of mind. I have had to do this to others and it has been done to me. Some people are with us for a lifetime and others just a moment. I say this thinking about all the people I’ve had “chance” encounters with and never saw them again. God has ways of getting messages to us!
A Woman’s Spirit messages:
Through learning to like myself, I’ve been more willing to understand others. -JoAnn Reed
Unrealistic expectations hinder our growth and relationships. We too often try to be superwoman and we want others to complement our drama. But no one can match our expectations. It’s helpful, then, to step back and remind ourselves that we’re all okay, we’re good enough. We are where we need to be for this point in our journey. With effort we’re coming to believe this, little by little.
How do we give up unrealistic expectations, especially when they are triggered by our shame over not being perfect? Coming to believe that we are acceptable, even lovable, to our Higher Power requires a suspension of disbelief. We must first “act as if” and then take time to notice all the goodness on our lives. The evidence will convince us that we are protected and guided, thus loved. Meditating on this truth will give us permission to accept and love ourselves. Understanding and then loving others is only a small step away.
I want to love and appreciate myself and all my friends today. We are here to help each other. God is here too.
To be 