Tag: Twitch

23 March 2022 Finding Comfort

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 23 March 2022 Wednesday chat(AA Step 3) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1434295003

Trees have started budding here
I had to talk to God and myself this morning while feeling anxiety

Hello to you. How are you? Today began with one of those anxiety attacks I get once in awhile. I think it has to do with sleep apnea but I’m not sure. I just know I kind of freaked out. I had to pull out some tools from my sanity toolkit to get myself calmed down. I started with talking to God and went to the Bible to try and find comforting messages. I looked through so many chapters….the concordance for anxiety and comfort and just couldn’t find what I was looking for. It came to me to try the “Big Book” from Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically Step 3….made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I ended up making my Twitch Stream today mostly about this step. When I initially entered into the program this step was hard. My sponsor reassured me that it didn’t have to be just the God of the Bible that I turned my will….surrendered to. It had to be a power that wasn’t me. It was me that got me into the mess I was in. Chances were that it wasn’t going to be my own will that was going to get me free. I just had to acknowledge I was powerless over alcohol (among other things of an addictive nature), admit I had a problem and then, most importantly, be WILLING to ask for help….accept help the way it came. What I realized using this program is if you get to the core of why addiction happens there are fewer what’s. A lot of people I met in AA were self medicating – they had a lot of “why’s” they were covering up with alcohol. They needed therapy and either couldn’t get it or would rather have the stigma of being an alcoholic than the stigma that comes with mental illness. When I look at my own life with help and by myself, there were so many why’s to my addictions. I kept trying to fill voids in my life with people, places and things. Many of those voids were of an intangible nature. You can’t put tangible things in the space where only the intangible dwells.

The messages from A Woman’s Spirit today had to do with friendship. The power we learn through the program is we can choose better friends. Here is a thought provoking part of the message:

“We may not have picked our friends carefully in our youth. Many of us felt pressured to hang out with a crowd that didn’t share our values. We frequently lived up to their expectations of us rather than our own. The internal conflict was painful, and we may still suffer from it.”

My choice of friends today reflects the health of my recovery.

________

It’s pretty easy to tell who are true friends are in life. They are the ones who are still there for you and comfort you as you clean up the mess you’ve made. I consider many members of my family also as dear friends! When we are young it feels like we don’t have a great power of choosing – so much is chosen for us!

Speaking of friendship! Last night Astravert did a wonderful collaboration with some fellow musicians on Twitch:

Check out astravert afishinabirdcage bagelrabbit COLLAB https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433997448

22 March 2022 World Water Day and Remembering Chris Cornell

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, books, dreams, Health, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 22 March 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1433418732

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well today. I found out it’s World Water Day – water is life! There are simple things each of us can do to help conserve our most precious of resources. Stuff as simple as turning off the tap when your brushing your teeth. Taking shorter showers. Not rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I found this National Geographic video that is short but shows some good examples of places where efforts are being made to preserve waterways- so many lives, not just human, depend on them:

https://youtu.be/aYNHNcmBxJM – The Worth of Water (National Geographic)

Here are some examples of lives awakening this spring that need water too:

Last night I couldn’t sleep and this song sung by Chris Cornell of Audioslave popped into my head:

https://youtu.be/KwKcMdiq60s – Audioslave Show Me How to Live (lyrics)

https://chrisandvickycornellfoundation.org/ – last night I had Chris Cornell on my mind and in my late night internet wandering found out about this.

The night before Chris died I had a disturbing dream of being pulled through my bedroom ceiling. Finding out he had strangled himself really hit me hard. His music was some of the first music my husband shared with me. In particular I Am the Highway. Songs like Be Yourself have comforted me through so many difficult times. His struggles and manner of death really bothered me. With my own journey with alcohol dependency for a time hearing of his battles really touched my heart. Addiction is a disease that so many lose the battle with….Chris was one such casualty. I’m glad his family got some peace with their law suite: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/chris-cornell-family-settlement-doctor-1166269/amp/

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

When we are all wrapped up in ourselves, we present a very small package to others. – Georgette Vickstrom

Today I can put aside my tendency to look at every circumstance in relationship to myself. With God’s help, I can put my attention on others.

21 March 2022 Uplifting Things

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 21 March 2022 Monday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1432467449

Each day is another day in Gods Earth School

Yesterday evening Link and I took a walk and I remembered to take my phone. As I am getting more at home here I am spending more time getting to know the neighborhood trees.

Backyard tree
Evening sun through branches
Same tree with sunlight
Walking with my dear friend Link
Many in one tree
Another one of the Willow trees in our neighborhood
Some pine

Some uplifting words. I want to fill myself with positive spirit food today. I knew I could count on Jesus for that! A light in so much darkness that surrounds us these days. I encourage you to temper all the bad news with uplifting things! Be conscious of who and what you are allowing to feed your soul.

Matthew 5 – The Beatitudes

The Beatitudes(A)

He said:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.(B)
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.(C)
5 Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.(D)
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.(E)
7 Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.(F)
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,(G)
    for they will see God.(H)
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,(I)
    for they will be called children of God.(J)
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,(K)
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.(L)

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you,(M)persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.(N) 12 Rejoice and be glad,(O) because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.(P)

20 March 2022 Sharing Stories

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 20 March 2022 Sunday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1431579394

What I heard today at church

Hello to you. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I went to church today and there were good messages for us. What stuck out for me is talking about the appropriate way to treat those difficult people in our lives. We all have or have had them. The natural tendency is to treat those types unkindly and this goes against what we have been taught. I think of Joyce Meyers and how despite everything her parents did or didn’t do to her as a child she still took care of them and treated them with love and kindness until the day they died. As a result her Dad actually accepted Jesus shortly before he died….do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I like that Pastor Jason Boyd suggested we start small. Start with your own home, your neighborhood and the place you work. I would add starting with yourself- are you at war inside your own skin?

The messages in A Woman’s Spirit talk about the importance of our stories. In our stories of trials and difficulties is hope. When we share our stories other people going through similar things can see possible solutions, find strength and see that those troubles pass! Here is the message for today:

I can’t expect you to share yourself if I can’t do the same. – Cathy Stone

We have been told we benefit from sharing our stories with others. However, most of us have shared intimate details of our lives in the past, only to have them repeated all over town. We may have decided that nothing was safe to share.

Now we are asked once again to share our secrets. What seems even stranger is that we’re asked to tell them to people whose last names we don’t even know. How crazy this seems when we first enter a Twelve Step program. Until we do it, however, we will not reap the benefits that are in store. We can only discover how like others we really are by telling them about us and then listening while they share similar stories. The intimacy that follows transforms our lives. Our time for self disclosure has come. Let’s rejoice and reap the rewards.

I will tell a trusted friend who I really am today. I can count on affirmation and acceptance if I choose my friend well.

_________________

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom* to know the difference.

*Remember we can learn from the past but we cannot change it. We are not powerless – we have right now. More of better nows means a lot less wreckage in our past and more hope for the future. I believe it is in sharing our stories we can heal and break the chains of multigenerational trauma.

19 March 2022 Now Is All We Can Control

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, history, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 19 March 2022 Saturday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1430452912

Willow tree I just love in our neighborhood
She has a huge trunk I think it’s so pretty
Another beauty in our neighborhood
Drawing that came to me today

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Saturday and overcast. The sun is peaking out a little bit. Yesterday was nice. I went to breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe and was blessed – a couple that were in there with me paid for my breakfast! I was really touched by that. I got a couple walks in with Link. It was during the evening walk I snapped the pictures of this Willow tree down the street. I just love it! This neighborhood has some lovely mature trees.

The message in A Woman’s Spirit is really good. It reminds us that we can’t control or change the past or future. What we can control about ourselves is right now. We are not powerless in our present moment.

A Woman’s Spirit message for today:

With one foot in the past and the other in the future, how can we possibly know what new path we might follow today? -Jan Pishok

Now is all there is. But how often, really, are our minds in the present? Honestly, aren’t we much more focused on what just happened or what we fear will happen in the next hour or day or year? Being here, now, means giving up the past absolutely. It also means relinquishing all thoughts about the future. Occupying our minds with the experience of this instant only seems hard to do. We’re far more used to greater chaos than what we experience solely in the here as now.

We have a direction that’s right for us. Unfortunately, we miss the road signs because we are still looking over our shoulder at what we passed yesterday. The destiny we need, needs us too. Quietly focusing on our lives , one moment at a time, can assure us of fulfilling it.

Letting go of the noise I carry in my mind changes my life. I can feel and acknowledge what’s here when my mind is open.

_______________

It’s important to remember that we can’t change the past. We can learn from the past but we can’t change it. Working on staying mindful in our present can leave a better past behind us.

Song I started my day with today:

https://youtu.be/TTXBLspw_Z0 – Paul Baloche God of Wonders

18 March 2022 Expectations

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
There was a halo around the sun yesterday

Check out 18 March 2022 Friday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1429355478

Hello to you. How are you this Friday? I’m doing ok. Kind of slow going today.

A reminder for myself today!

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit touched on expectations. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. I have to remind myself that each of us is different. We are all at different phases of life….our journey. Sometimes we expect from others things we were raised to believe ourselves and what we believe may not resonate. Sometimes the lessons we have been taught and learned haven’t been by the people we share this existence with. We may get frustrated and or resentful that they aren’t on the same page as us. It’s important to remember where we came from, who we have been and forgive others who are just catching up! I experienced this in AA. Others who were further along in their sobriety journey were kind and patient with us newcomers! Like my friend and I talked about today on the stream too is sometimes you have to let people go with love especially if having them in your life will sabotage your peace of mind. I have had to do this to others and it has been done to me. Some people are with us for a lifetime and others just a moment. I say this thinking about all the people I’ve had “chance” encounters with and never saw them again. God has ways of getting messages to us!

A Woman’s Spirit messages:

Through learning to like myself, I’ve been more willing to understand others. -JoAnn Reed

Unrealistic expectations hinder our growth and relationships. We too often try to be superwoman and we want others to complement our drama. But no one can match our expectations. It’s helpful, then, to step back and remind ourselves that we’re all okay, we’re good enough. We are where we need to be for this point in our journey. With effort we’re coming to believe this, little by little.

How do we give up unrealistic expectations, especially when they are triggered by our shame over not being perfect? Coming to believe that we are acceptable, even lovable, to our Higher Power requires a suspension of disbelief. We must first “act as if” and then take time to notice all the goodness on our lives. The evidence will convince us that we are protected and guided, thus loved. Meditating on this truth will give us permission to accept and love ourselves. Understanding and then loving others is only a small step away.

I want to love and appreciate myself and all my friends today. We are here to help each other. God is here too.

___________

17 March 2022 Dwell In Me God

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 17 March 2022 Thursday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1428406120

Hello to you in your where and when as you visit me here. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I’m doing ok. I had to redo my stream on Twitch because I got invaded by some trolls. It happens. Thankfully I can ban them!

“Dwell in me God. Be strong when I am weak”

Sometimes we are faced with people, places, things and or situations where we just don’t know what to do. Sometimes the only answer is to be still and ask God for help. I have to do that a lot. I have to get myself to shut up both in my head and out of my mouth – be willing to just listen. I fail a lot but keep trying!

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit kind of talks about letting God into our daily lives:

I don’t always know what I want, but I do know what I don’t want. -Helen Neujahr

We don’t want pain or confusion in our lives. We don’t want friends to depart. We don’t want a boss to be too demanding. And we don’t want to lose control of the outcomes that are unfolding around us every day. There is so much we don’t want. How lucky we are to be in this program and to have a caring Higher Power to help us handle the situations that we don’t want in our lives.

We need the help of a Higher Power because we seldom know what is really best for us. Had we had our way in years past, we most likely would not be recovering. Instead, we may have stayed in a relationship that was quietly killing us, or we may have killed someone’s else or ourselves because of our addiction. God had a better plan for us then; God continues to have a better plan for us now.

We must be ready to relinquish that which we think we want if the evidence confronting us suggests God thinks differently. We must let hindsight offer us enlightenment regarding God’s better plan.

I will trust God to direct my thoughts and my actions. I will try to want what God wants for me today.

___________________

Lately I have been asking God to just be with me. The message in the drawing was a little prayer yesterday. I have been struggling in my body with being heavier and pain in my legs. The issues of this world feel heavy. The only real escape has come from my thoughts and prayers. I talk to God as I would my dearest friend, with my heart,”Hey God do you want to hang out with me today?”

https://youtu.be/7IIZIPtQuW8 – Passion – God Your So Good (live) Kristian Stanfill, Melodie Malone

16 March 2022 Tapestry

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 16 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1427420115

I believe God is with all of us

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m feeling a little tired but it will pass. Things are doing things!! I didn’t know it but apparently the UN is trying to come up with a global plastic treaty. I think that’s great. My only concern is that once the treaty is made that it will actually be enforced! Kind of like laws. Laws are great on paper but are worthless if there is no one to enforce them! https://news.mongabay.com/2022/02/as-world-drowns-in-plastic-waste-u-n-to-hammer-out-global-treaty/amp/ The other thing is daylight savings. Our Senate is putting a bill forward that would make it permanent – no more setting our clocks to fall back: https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/03/15/politics/senate-daylight-saving-time-permanent/index.html.

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is so good I am going to share all of it:

We are who we are, shaped and molded by the times, by the events, and by the persons we encounter on our way, and no one ever changes very much or escapes entirely from that mold. – Ruth Casey

Everything we experience today is woven with all that has gone before. We are a tapestry in progress. We grow and change, heightening some of our patterns, successfully diminishing others, and maintaining still others. We need feel more shame for this person we’ve become; we’ve done our best. From this point forward, with the help of the program, our Higher Power , and the wonderful friendships that sustain us, we will add many new colors and stronger threads to the tapestry that continues to be us.

Even though there is often much we want to change in ourselves, there is much that will and should stay the same. Let’s trust God will guide our efforts in changing those traits that deserve our attention now, leaving the rest for another time. We have been loved, guided, and protected even though we are not perfect. That will be true always.

All that has gone before will help me handle whatever today offers. I am in Gods keeping now and forever.

______________

The skies yesterday

Today this Psalm 103 resonated. I was looking for a Psalm to read for my Twitch video and I came across this one with lots of it highlighted! May be there is something within it that will resonate with you too:

Psalm 103New International Version

Psalm 103

Of David.

1 Praise the Lord,(A) my soul;(B)
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.(C)
2 Praise the Lord,(D) my soul,
    and forget not(E) all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins(F)
    and heals(G) all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life(H) from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,(I)
5 who satisfies(J) your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed(K) like the eagle’s.(L)

6 The Lord works righteousness(M)
    and justice for all the oppressed.(N)

7 He made known(O) his ways(P) to Moses,
    his deeds(Q) to the people of Israel:
8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,(R)
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;(S)
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve(T)
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love(U) for those who fear him;(V)
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions(W) from us.

13 As a father has compassion(X) on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,(Y)
    he remembers that we are dust.(Z)
15 The life of mortals is like grass,(AA)
    they flourish like a flower(AB) of the field;
16 the wind blows(AC) over it and it is gone,
    and its place(AD) remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children(AE)—
18 with those who keep his covenant(AF)
    and remember(AG) to obey his precepts.(AH)

19 The Lord has established his throne(AI)in heaven,
    and his kingdom rules(AJ) over all.

20 Praise the Lord,(AK) you his angels,(AL)
    you mighty ones(AM) who do his bidding,(AN)
    who obey his word.
21 Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,(AO)
    you his servants(AP) who do his will.
22 Praise the Lord, all his works(AQ)
    everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul.(AR)

15 March 2022 Ego vs Intuition

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, books, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Uncategorized, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 15 March 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1426485699

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope you are well. We finally got a few drops of rain – hopefully we will get more. We need it!

Todays messages from A Woman’s Spirit have to do with discerning the difference between our ego and our intuition:

My intuition can lead me in the right direction when my will and God’s will are one. -Kathy McGraw

Sometimes we mistake ego for intuition. Then we wonder why doors don’t open. We may try to force circumstances to meet our expectations. Our chemical dependency led us to behave this way in the past, and this behavior helped to get us here to this program. Today we are striving for times when things flow smoothly, when doors just open at just the right moment, when we experience effortless living- in short, times when our will and God’s are one. But how do we do it?

The key is to slow down and ask ourselves if what we are about to do feels right. Doing God’s will always feels right. By contrast, being driven by our own ego often feels wrong , very wrong. In our using days we were adept at ignoring the feeling that something was wrong. However, our growth through the Steps makes ignoring what is wrong impossible now. That’s good for us. And it’s even better for the people in our lives. Wanting to follow Gods will is there first step to actually following it.

My ego is always ready to jump in where God’s will is needed. Today I’ll slow down each time I’m ready to jump, and I’ll listen instead to my feelings.

__________

There’s nothing quite like that feeling of being in the flow of all that is. Time becomes irrelevant! Why does such a feeling…such an experience seem to be such a rare thing for most of us? To only have fleeting glimpses of complete peace! I guess that’s why it’s so important to stay tuned in…mindful and aware….to remain willing to go where God is leading you. Sometimes it’s so hard to know and I guess that’s where practice comes. What I have done many times on my journey so far is ask God to show me in a language I can understand what it is I’m supposed to be doing….”show me God.” The answers do come but it’s not enough for a lifetime – sometimes an answer just for the next moment. After all what is time to God?! Be willing…….

If you would like to get your own copy of A Woman’s Spirit daily meditation, here is one source I found: https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/a-womans-spirit-more-meditations-for-women——the-author-of-each-day-a-new-beginning-hazelden-meditations_hazelden-foundation/339506/item/3261660/?gclid=CjwKCAjw8sCRBhA6EiwA6_IF4aPCsBcorpWPahqiLrIXoREIoqTcGCton_i_M9wLAfQTZYxszJjoZRoC2vQQAvD_BwE#isbn=0062552821&idiq=3261660