Hello to you. How are you today? I’m writing to you from my bed. My lower body is still not happy with me. Mornings are the toughest part of the day but through the course of the day things loosen and warm up. Yesterday was a really good day. The gravel install went really well and the men did a wonderful job. I’m so grateful to them. Such hard working people that I could even hear whistling as they worked! Doing that kind of work has to take a toll on the body. I prayed for them and their bodies.
This will make things a lot easier for me! My neighbors thought the crew did a great job too. My neighbor works 40-60 hrs a week and has a child. She doesn’t have much free time or energy for yard maintenance. She’s thinking about having these guys fix her yard too. With drought conditions also it’s a good move. These words really resonated thinking specifically about the men working here yesterday and others I see splashed over headlines. Generated a question as I observe much of the world and what it’s going through – who do you work for? Who is your boss? Ultimately who do you answer to with the work and other things you do? For me, God is my boss. God gets the glory not me.
Yesterday my cousin and I got a chance to talk on the phone and she mentioned my other cousins husbands mom had a stroke. My cousin and I are about the same age (50’s) and we are noticing that there is a whole generation of people, for us in their 70’s that are going through a lot of “body stuff” all at once. I felt sad when I heard about Naomi Judd and her battle with and ultimately succumbing to mental health issues. She was in her 70’s. I know from my own journey that mental health can be a potentially fatal condition. Suicide being the big part of it. What happens with our mind affects our entire existence. What I see in the news about all this doesn’t talk about what I see in the dis-eases of the mind and body. For all the proclamations of faith we are a very sick country spiritually. You can’t put tangibles…things of a material world in the soul. That space is just for God. All the pills, self help modalities, treatments and spa days in the world aren’t going to help a broken soul. This is what I have had to learn and relearn for most of my life.
Millions of Americans struggled with their mental health well before COVID-19, but the pandemic hasn’t made shouldering mental illness any easier – an issue brought to light over the weekend after the death of country music star Naomi Judd.
Who is your boss? Do you even really know? When I was in the military I had a boss all the way to the President! A lot of different people telling me, ordering, what to do each day. Through all the voices, expectations and demands I had to understand that ultimately I answer to God. When all is said and done in this life no one here on earth is going to matter to you. Who are you allowing to feed your soul?
Time for a walk, Link and I have been going even if it hurts! We just go really slow!
Another princess….Purples I looked this up and I think it’s going to be an Iris! This place gives me a rest – love the running waterSo vibrant! Had to stop and admire this! One of these walks I’m going to remember to bring money so I can try food from this little food truck!Hello sun! Doesn’t the sun look huge lol?! These are shops when we take the longer walk – pizza, tanning and s laundromat This is a musician I spent time listening to yesterday – mentioned him here before – Astravert aka Justin Carter. I realized yesterday when he smiles he reminds me of my younger dad when he would smile and laugh! He’s back in Omaha Nebraska with his parents for a couple months to save money. Some times trying to live off of A Twitch salary is rough! Watch https://twitch.tv/astravert with me on Twitch! astravert
I was exploring yesterday. I had been hearing an instrument in some music lately and discovered it was the Tanpura! You can really sing with this instrument – so soothing! It’s a very distinctive sound in music from India:
Hello to you. How are you today? I’m feeling better than yesterday or the day before. Today is a new day and I’m grateful for it. Something happened this morning that hasn’t happened for quite awhile – I cried. I was listening to the song I shared with you, Pray for Me by The Weeknd and I just felt the song really deep inside. There is a part of the song that made me think of Black Panther’s Wakanda – tribal. It made me think of sitting with Kyle and our friend Billy who had brought over the Black Panther movie so we could watch it together. I remember getting goosebumps watching it! Finally a new story being told with people of color starring in it! It’s one of my favorite Marvel movies. My thoughts touched on how sad it is Chadwick is not going to be in the next Black Panther movie….I suspect there will be a new king.
After all these thoughts and tears I found I felt less pain everywhere. I’ve been noticing how the pains in my body keep moving around. I’ll get relief in one part of my body only for a new part to start hurting! When I was doing Quantum Touch energy healing that phenomenon happened a lot. We would have to chase the pain around the body like it was a actual entity – a ghost needing to be sent to the light. Pain is a stubborn energy that like a bad renter can be difficult to evict! One of the ways to expel pain is through tears. Sometimes I think pain is a way for our body to seek attention from us. In our busy lives it’s really easy to take our bodies and the amazing….sometimes extremely complex things we ask of them for granted! I have been guilty of this at many points in my life.
Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins.These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain.Mar 1, 2021
It doesn’t make you any less or weak when you let yourself feel things and shed tears
The walks yesterday:
I made myself go to church yesterday even though it hurt. There was an elderly woman there in a wheelchair…how then can I complain when I can walk? I was imagining my Aunt and Uncle filling these chairs. They are going through their own body stuff too! Leaving church….next it was going to get groceries! When you live alone everything is up to you. It won’t get done if you don’t do it. People offer to help but ultimately it ends up being your responsibility. Everybody has “stuff” going on! I love you This tree just captivated me every time I see it! Such a vibrant personality! One of the yard ornaments in a neighbors yard – it’s a spinning one Hello sun My eyes turned to the various wild grasses growing in the neighborhood. I had to touch them, so soft! Spring isn’t just about blooms! Yet another tree in the neighborhood being cut down. It always makes me sad as so many lives depend on just one tree. But I understand sometimes trees die or are causing a homeowner trouble like with the foundation. Some day….right now there are a lot of little Eden’s
Hello to you from here. How are you? I’m still really sore but I am in good spirits. Yesterday I wondered about finding dancing in the Bible. I have always loved to dance and to watch it done in all the various ways we do it. Early people expressed their love for God through dance and simple instruments from what I was able to find out. When I really find a song I like and dance to it, it feels like being connected to a divine energy- being close to God. Everything is warm, there is no time and the only limits are how deep the movements go. I’m not as limber as I once was lol! Especially lately. Do you like to dance or do you tell yourself you can’t? Sometimes I just dance with my hands! Just tapping your hand on your body or an object….sometimes I dance with my little Djembe drum lol.
The history of praise dance dates back to biblical times. The first mention of dance in the Bible is in the book of Exodus when Miriam, sister of Moses, took a tambourine and led the women of Israel into a dance after witnessing the parting of the Red Sea. They expressed joy and celebration in their dance after witnessing God’s great miracle on their behalf.
It was a bit rainy (yay!) yesterday so not so many pictures and that’s ok. On the second walk it was gently raining. Link got so wet and was not thrilled to get such a bath but I loved it. It had been awhile since I walked slowly while it was raining. The messages for me lately has been to slow down – as I keep saying, pain is a teacher. You learn yhd lessons or you continue to suffer!
It’s so much better to dance than to weepDaffodils A baby tree being so grown up! Thinking of all the people in my life and the world that are trying to heal and get well…survive day to day. God shows us in such beings like flowers the cycles of existence…there will be blooming times and times there are just bulbs to be planted – potential stored for better times and conditions. I had to acknowledge this beauty – I’m seeing a lot more of them. I wanted to get closer but I try to respect peoples property. There you are!
This morning as I’m still having back pain my thoughts turned to that special state you can get into where your body, time and existence are all synchronized….nothing hurts, there is no clock and your just completely absorbed in doing something what pleases every part of you. They call it the flow state:
Flow is a state of mind in which a person becomes fully immersed in an activity. Positive psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi describes flow as a state of complete immersion in an activity. Being immersed can be defined as a state of focus in which a person is completely absorbed and engrossed in their work.
While in this mental flow state, people are highly involved and focused on what they are doing.
“The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost,” Csíkszentmihályi said in an interview with Wired magazine.1
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I find lately that I’m able to get into this state when I’m out exploring with Link and noticing the world around me. Taking pictures with my phone. What comes to mind again is Kairos time – for a moment operating in God’s time. I’m a car going on the best Sunday drives ever. I’m learning to cherish those moments when it feels like God makes the clock and pain disappear. Last night I found this song playing in my head again and so I decided to listen to it. I got goose bumps all over me. What a perfect song to play walking in the garden:
Each morning when I open my eyes is another day to be more in love with the one who made me. “I see you seeing me seeing you” This isn’t the greatest picture as cell phone cameras do have limits but I wanted to take a moment with this young tree as it begins to wake up. My neighbors up the street have been working so hard and this is some fruits of their labors. I think they did a great job! Do you remember the picture I took of Smokey all pooped out?! Link is tired but still smiles! I just love seeing what God is doing with the canvas of sky – ever changing as he stands stillThese tulips keep catching my eye. The owner of the yard has been doing some digging but these beauties remain in the seeming chaos around them. Can’t you almost hear Clair De Lune standing here? There is such glory in seeing a tree in the sunlight
The lyrics to this song speak of generations coming up behind me. Where is God in all this chaos every day? Do all I have is myself? From my own experience I know God is everywhere in my life but I can understand how young people can lose hope – think they have to get through all by themselves. This song also speaks of the fight Chadwick put up with his battle with colon cancer. Such a light extinguished way too soon:
I’m always ready for a war again (a war again) Go down that road again (that road again) It’s all the same (it’s all the same) I’m always ready to take a life again You know I’ll ride again It’s all the same (ooh, ooh, ooh)
Tell me who’s gon’ save me from myself When this life is all I know Tell me who’s gon’ save me from this hell Without you, I’m all alone
Who gon’ pray for me? (Who gon’ pray for me?) Take my pain for me? (Take my pain for me?) Save my soul for me? (Save my soul for me?) ‘Cause I’m alone, you see (I’m alone, you see) If I’m gon’ die for you (if I’m gon’ die for you ) If I’m gon’ kill for you (if I’m gon’ kill for you) Then I’ll spill this blood for you, hey
I fight the world, I fight you, I fight myself I fight God, just tell me how many burdens left I fight pain and hurricanes, today I wept I’m tryna fight back tears, flood on my doorsteps Life a livin’ hell, puddles of blood in the streets Shooters on top of the building, government aid ain’t relief Earthquake, the body drop, the ground breaks The poor run with smoke lungs and Scarface Who need a hero? (Hero) You need a hero, look in the mirror, there go your hero Who on the front lines at ground zero? (Hero) My heart don’t skip a beat, even when hard times bumps the needle Mass destruction and mass corruption The souls are sufferin’ men Clutchin’ on deaf ears again, rapture is comin’ It’s all prophecy and if I gotta be sacrificed for the greater good Then that’s what it gotta be
Who gon’ pray for me? (Who gon’ pray for me?) Take my pain for me? (Take my pain for me?) Save my soul for me? (Save my soul for me?) ‘Cause I’m alone, you see (I’m alone, you see) If I’m gon’ die for you (if I’m gon’ die for you ) If I’m gon’ kill for you (if I’m gon’ kill for you) Then I’ll spill this blood for you, hey
Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey
Who gon’ pray for me? (Who gon’ pray for me?) Take my pain for me? (Take my pain for me?) Save my soul for me? (Save my soul for me?) ‘Cause I’m alone, you see (I’m alone, you see) If I’m gon’ die for you (if I’m gon’ die for you ) If I’m gon’ kill for you (if I’m gon’ kill for you) Then I’ll spill this blood for you, hey
Just in case my faith go I live by my own law I live by my own law I live by my own Just in case my faith go I live by my own law I live by my own law I live by my own
Hello to you. How are you? It’s Friday as I write to you. Almost the end of the month already! I’m still really sore but trying to work with God and my body about it. This morning I thought about my understanding of healing from an energetic perspective. I thought about how pain in the body can be a manifestation of stored unresolved emotional pain. Laying in my bed it was like hearing God remind me of all I’ve been through emotionally the past few years and how I haven’t really grieved fully about it. That pain has to go somewhere if you don’t face it fully. In all the particles that make me a solid being there are many particles of pain. What came to me is to imagine all the places the pain is being stored in my body as doors that have to open so what is living there will be evicted. Hopefully what I’m sharing makes sense to you.
Yesterday I was thinking about a scene in The Chosen where Jesus mentions that not all of his parables will be understood by everyone. I thought about communication and understanding in our world today. There are all kinds of people and devices but even still there is much misunderstanding. The translation of the message from who receives and shares it doesn’t always reach who needs to hear it. Sometimes it’s the wrong language. Sometimes it’s the wrong person or just a message the intended that are not ready to hear – it’s the “wrong” time in their mind even in Kairos time it’s exactly the time….so a seed is planted even without very good soil or water. Seeds can wait for Kairos – God’s time. Ultimately a message will be delivered and received….understanding will follow. The seed will grow if we are only willing to receive it.
Sometimes the best way to reach people and make something hard to understand easier is by telling a story – telling our personal stories in recovery programs is very powerful
Not every person is every persons “messenger.” What I say and write may make sense to some and to others seem like rubbish. Who are the people you listen to about matters in your life and this world? Do you even know why?
Some people have trouble with their own children listening and understanding them and they get frustrated. So then as a responsible parent you must find a way to reach them. Find someone they will listen to and understand. My Uncle John is involved in the Big Brother program for example. He gets to be someone outside of a child’s normal life that spends time with him. Sharing messages by not only his words but by the example he shows the child. A lot of understanding, and I learned this from my dogs, doesn’t come from what we say. It’s how we speak and what we do. A lot of language and understanding as people like the Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan will tell you is founded in our energy. Everything we do to include our thoughts is ultimately about energy:
A wild space in my neighborhood A different color bloom to enjoy Sometimes the sun masquerades as the moonLate afternoon I had to see if this trees blooms had s scent – very subtle You gotta get real close. So soft! Link and I were delighted to see some wonderful chalk art! Pretty balloons Seeing this brought me so much joy inside – kids are amazing. Just the smallest thing can become so awesome. Such a pure thing the gratitude of a child’s heart. They always say hello when we go by! Sometimes I feel bad that I can’t take dogs like this for a walk with me. So many dogs would really benefit from a walk at least once a day. Last nights walk was just magical! The light just made everything I saw look beautiful. A place with messages to be heard and hopefully understood.
Hello sun Hello! Hi there! It’s the weekend so make sure you don’t work too hard! Did you look outside yet today?
Hello to you. How are you doing today? It’s Saturday as I write to you and looking like it’s going to be a really nice day here. Sometimes I almost feel guilty to be so blessed with the life I have! Even with some of the things I’ve got going on, I’m so grateful for my life.
Yesterday I was curious what scripture there would be about clouds. Lately I’ve been asking questions like that so I will explore the Bible more. So that I can connect my current life and experiences to what is the past. It’s really kind of amazing how such ancient messages can still be relatable to life today. So yes, there are messages about clouds! Clouds have been around a loooong time! One place that I thought was really interesting to read about them was in Job 37:11-13 in particular:
11 He loads the clouds with moisture;(U) he scatters his lightning(V) through them.(W) 12 At his direction they swirl around over the face of the whole earth to do whatever he commands them.(X) 13 He brings the clouds to punish people,(Y) or to water his earth and show his love.(Z)
Being able to access the Bible online has made finding answers to my inquiries really easy but it’s still nice to hold the words in my own hands.
Connecting my now to the understanding Biblical people of the past had about how God works in nature
Todays messages from A Woman’s Spirit are so good I want to share the whole thing with you:
To show great love for God and our neighbor, we need not do great things. – Mother Teresa
We don’t have to invent a cure for cancer or lift the burdens of a friend to prove our worth to other people. Being considerate of someone’s feelings is quite enough, and it is something any of us can do. It takes only a moment’s thought and the willingness to treat others as we’d like them to treat us. The real blessing is that we feel much better each time our heart guides our actions.
Loving others is perhaps the simplest of all actions we can take in this life. It requires no planning, no money, no muscle power, no problem solving. It’s a simple decision we can make daily or hourly. Every person we encounter, every situation we face, is an opportunity for us to hone the skill. And every loving act or thought makes the world a better place.
It’s human nature to treat others as we are treated. If each of us becomes willing to offer the hand of love to someone else today, we will indeed have done a great thing!
I can make a worthwhile contribution today. I can be kind to a stranger.
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Now let’s go for a walk together……
This is that tree I was talking about that has leaves but as made these tiny red buds all over! It must take so much energy to do this! Doesn’t the sun look amazing? I guess I got the angle just right so we can see the rays of light spoking out around it. A street with my Grandma Becker’s name! I think of her whenever I see it! A beautiful view of Carol street. Grandma would love this tree! As you can see the street names are all ladies lol Something interesting here. I was lucky to get this little one out and about and then later something weird – in my news feed were all kinds of articles about lady bugs! Coincidence or an algorithm picking up on the image on my phone?! I loved seeing those two big trees by the waters edge….my eyes go aaaah when I see scenes like this one! There have been lots of poofy healthy clouds lately. It’s interesting to see the layers of clouds. Sometimes I imagine angels traveling in a cloud ship sight seeing when I see hallelujah clouds like these.
To be 