Hello again. I hope you don’t mind a late afternoon visit. I’m feeling lonely and can use the company. Today has been long like most of my days this past year. To be honest it feels like I’m waiting for someone to return to me. My whole life is suspended in time waiting and it’s stupid. He’s never going to take me back. He sealed the deal with divorce papers. I don’t know why I can’t accept it.
My plight feels like waiting for Jesus Christ to return. How long has it been since he left? Like 2,000 years? I keep asking myself why would he want to return? What is time to a God?! I would think it would be even harder now than even just a couple of years ago. This is a skeptical world we live in. Wouldn’t anyone proclaiming to be Jesus be criticized ? Be considered crazy? I ran across a video on YouTube today of a man in Australia that says he’s Jesus. He’s being looked at as a cult leader: https://youtu.be/xbFtxEYTJG4
“A face within a face. A body within a body. So many eyes. I see you. I hear you. I want to touch your heart. Through pages bound countless ways I live and breathe again. My voice echoes in the churches, temples, open fields and synagogues. Countless voices of one spirit there am I. You will not know me when I come but I will be here.”
It’s starting to get dark and it’s only 7:30! I don’t do that well this time of year here. Well anyhew hope this finds you well. I’ll be talking to you tomorrow.
Hello there how are you? It’s a gray and overcast Monday as I write to you. There wasn’t light until 8! How is it where you live?
So yesterday I went over to my Aunt and Uncles to help make jalapeño pepper jam. I had never done that before. I was in charge of measuring the sugar and other odd jobs. My two cousins and cousins daughter were there and it was good to see them. I was so in the moment I didn’t get any pictures of the jam! My uncle John was the only man in the outfit!
I didn’t get to stay too long as my bowels were acting up. They made about 4 batches of jam and they used the jalapeños after they were juiced for salsa.
I heard the sad news today that Colin Powell died from complications of Covid-19 and cancer . He was the first black Secretary of State . One of my favorite quotes is from him :
The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”
“We stand in this moment a foothold in time. Where do we go from here? Do we reach to the top shelves for the hidden best or do we continue to grimace in pain as we stoop for the obvious? The stream of life flows forward so swiftly with hands still reaching back. Grasping anything to steady us as we lose our footing. What is our identity? Who are our tribes? We think we are standing still but the sand continues to give way. We are but mere little children in this vast cosmos. Time stretching forward and backwards in a snapshot of space. The all seeing eye of time a voyeur to our rise and fall.”
Hello. How are you? I’m am doing ok – just real tired. I haven’t been sleeping that well. It was only once around the block today. I’m starting to feel like an old dog!! Must be the cold getting in my bones!
Yesterday I went over to my Aunt and Uncles house for linner (lunch/dinner). They had invited some of their friends and their daughter too . It was nice to have a home cooked meal with such good company. Playing a round of Farkle (dice game) which my Aunt won. Being with them helped me forget my troubles for awhile . For just a couple hours the world seemed happy and peaceful – normal. When I am with my family I feel so loved and cared about. I wish the whole world could know what that’s like. So many lives seem to be in a state of chaos right now.
When I look at the news lately everything is for shit. It’s like there isn’t any hope. Just more of the same crap – fear mongering and scare tactics. All the stuff love can’t buy but money can. If you pay attention to this stuff you have to ask where God is in all of it. I believe God is showing us just how broken we are.
All broken aside, I want to focus on the good stuff. I woke up today. I have wonderful family and friends. I have a roof over my head. Food in my belly. My health is pretty good yet. I have a sweet dog. I have transportation. I want to believe there is enough of what I need in this world. I want to believe my higher power has my back and is looking out for me. No matter how broken this world appears to be, there are moments like I had yesterday. People still caring about each other and coming together in fellowship and love.
So what are you grateful for today? What makes you happy ? How do you stay positive ? I’d love to hear from you!
Hello there, how are you ? It’s Wednesday or hump day as many people call it. Looks like it’s going to be gray and overcast today.
Yes I’m adorable get back to writing!
When the weather is like this I don’t feel like doing much of anything. All there is for me is writing and writing keeps me going. I’m so grateful for this blog and the people who stop by to visit !
“Who am I in a world of billions, living in a country in debt by the trillions. So many struggling to get ahead, Covid-19 leaving so many dead. Ships stacked with a bunch of goods, shitty sneakers to exotic foods . Water ways starting to run dry, cities scrambling to find a new supply. Who am I in this dream ? Will the human race survive or just keep losing steam ?”
I want to believe this is a world of plenty. It just seems like we don’t manage our resources very well. At some point, on a global scale, water conservation is going to have to be important. I buy water by the gallon jugs from the grocery store. Sometimes when I want to buy water they are out and that kind of scares me. What will have to change in order for us to continue to have enough water? It seems like so many products we use require water as one of its main ingredients .
Hello . How are you today? I am doing ok. I finally decided to go get groceries and it wasn’t cheap and a bit of a scavenger hunt. I spent $103 for just me. I was relieved that they had drinking water but it looked like the toilet paper aisle had been raided. I don’t envy the people that work there trying to keep the store shelves stocked !
So I found a YouTube channel that was interesting: Living Life in North Idaho. The host, Trent has lived in Idaho for 30 years and is a realtor. This video done just a day ago mentions Middleton: https://youtu.be/SxrTGg48npY . He does a variety of videos some of which I wish I had seen before deciding to move here!
I thought about buying Halloween candy today but decided not to. This is my first Halloween in the neighborhood and I don’t know what to expect . There are a lot of kids living here but I don’t know if they go trick or treating or if they are just going to go the trunk or treat route. I miss dressing up with my ex husband and handing out candy. We had a steam punk theme and I had my plasma lamp that I would bring out and light up light bulbs wirelessly!
Do you decorate and celebrate Halloween? I’d love to hear about it!
Hello again. This post will kind of tie in to my previous. I am having one of those days where I just need to write !
So I live in a small town in Idaho named Middleton. It’s near Nampa and Caldwell. We are going through a housing boom in this area. All around the existing “old town” people are building really expensive houses. We have one grocery store called Ridleys that all these new residents go to and I’ve noticed shortages especially of drinking water. Most people I know don’t drink water from the tap. They either have some kind of filtration system or they drink bottled water.
I never thought I would live in a world where you would have to pay twice for water . Pay the city so you can flush your toilet and pay the grocery store so you have water to drink. Drinking water is more precious than oil!
I moved to this town for a reason. One of the biggest is finding a house I could afford that wasn’t a complete dump. I considered renting an apartment but couldn’t afford it. For under $200,000 the only properties that were listed were the type flippers dream about . In some cases you would have to level the house to the ground and start over! The tiny house I found, a mere 734 sq ft, was a manufactured home which is hard to get a loan for but was still in my price range at $190,000. A lot of prayers were answered with my finding of the house!
So I live here now what! I haven’t figured out a way to connect with people here yet. The only people I know here in this state are my family. They all work or are busy with their own lives. I have considered starting a Meetup group but am not sure I want to swallow the $69 startup fee! Most Meetup groups are in the larger cities. I don’t want to have to drive all the way to Boise. I have nice neighbors but they mostly keep to themselves or each other. I’m the odd woman out – no husband and no kids.
There has to be a reason beyond this house for me being here. I just don’t know what it is yet. Something I really enjoyed doing for a time was helping people heal. May be once I’m completely back on my feet God will have a plan about that. May be part of my being here is to heal and get strong again. This small town might just be the refuge God wants for me right now .
Hello to you . How are you? It’s Sunday. I’m writing to you from my little loveseat that I’m currently sharing with two little dogs. We have an overnight guest my Aunts dog named Smokey. Link and Smokey always have a good time together. Both of the dogs are part Maltese and very similar in temperament. They choose their people! If they don’t like you they let you know it!
Two friends
So I should go get groceries but I don’t wanna. I have enough milk to get me by til tomorrow. Truth be told I dread going to the grocery store. I’ve been reading about scarcity and have noticed it myself with things like water and milk. I never thought I would live in a time like this. Then again I never planned on living someplace that is experiencing such drastic growth either!
It’s all part of a phenomenon I’ve noticed for many years. I noticed it a lot when I lived in Colorado and also Florida….unbridled growth. People would visit these places and decide they just had to live there . When you get a bunch of people with this same bright idea before long what they initially loved is gone and paved over with concrete to accommodate all the people. They have destroyed a place with their love. It’s happening here in Idaho and from what it seems all over the country. My neighbor back in Texas told me they are putting in 200 more homes off a already burdened road .
Where are all these people coming from and why? My own move from Texas to Idaho was driven by a divorce. From my experience here buying a home, people are snapping up houses with cash – well over asking price. The only people that could do that have to be coming from higher cost of living places. A lot of the people I’ve heard are doing this are retirement age or close to retirement .
I’ve been reading about and seeing acres of farm land being turned to new subdivisions. I have also heard and read that we are having water shortages. I have to wonder what is the point of having a new house if there is no water to flow into it?!! Water is a finite resource. What is this state going to do to preserve its water resources?
Sigh……
The people that get hurt the most are the people who already live here. Their wages are not keeping up with the cost of living – rising rent and gas prices….everything costs more. A friend of mine was recently job hunting. He has a Masters degree. The jobs that came up only wanted to pay him the same or a little above what McDonald’s would pay a new employee! People have to have liveable wages ! There are shortages all over for jobs that don’t pay worth a darn and don’t offer medical and dental insurance.
It seems like our system is broken. Everything costs more now and I am not entirely sure why. Is is it that there are more people putting a burden on it? Is it due to poor resource management ? For example student debt for doctors . Would we be able to have more affordable healthcare if so many doctors didn’t have student loans to pay off ?
There has to be a better way. I don’t have all the answers – just a lot of questions! I wish leading people who are running these big corporations would take their eyes off their stock portfolios for a minute….stop profiteering. What good is a world overrun by greed? What good is a world where a great majority of people are living with uncertainty, disease and scarcity?
John 1:5 The light shines in the darkness,(H) and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.(I)
Hello to you and how are you? It’s been a couple days since I have written again. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the days slip past me this time of year.
The subject that has me preoccupied right now is the election. I didn’t get my absentee ballot requested fast enough so I didn’t get to vote. God must have known I couldn’t make up my mind on who to vote for. I have been following live feeds on Youtube. It seems like Joe Biden is winning but there is nothing official yet. May the best man win.
May the doors that need to open, open. May the doors that need to shut, shut. Amen”” in the English Ordinal system equals 779 (all the vices in check for a no process)
I decided to see what election day came up to in the numbers:
“election day” in the English Ordinal system equals 113 (of course a 13) (one one yes, no, may be)
Good morning. Well Link and I had our walk, eaten breakfast and now some laundry. I am grateful to be able to do those things after looking at the headlines for Michigan this morning – severe flooding.
I didn’t write yesterday. My husband had a journal for a little while when he was welding and he said it was a bit like may be a diary of a blacksmith back in the day, “Today, I made a sword.” The next day, “Today, I made a sword and a hammer.” It gets real dull after awhile. I honestly don’t have a lot to write about right now and feel a little dull!
I am still wrestling with myself about whether or not to keep my handwritten journals, I was talking with someone in the health chat program I’ve been using lately and they brought up a good point. Feelings come and go but once I get rid of the journals that’s it, they will be gone. There are memories from my current marriage like playing scrabble with my husbands Grandma before she died. I am having a real hard time thinking about tossing away stuff like that.
I spoke with my Care manager yesterday about my anxiety issues lately. He had a lot of the same ideas my cousins wife Tawna, who has a Masters in Psychology, had to offer. He suggested breathing exercises, yoga stretches, making a safe place for being in and visualizations. He suggested church groups, prayer, meditation and reaching out like I have been doing with family, friends and chats. He is calling me once a week now. It’s helpful to have a professional checking in and being able to talk to him.
Other than that, I am missing affection. Between social distancing and my husband and I being separated it is hard. I am grateful to have Link as he likes to cuddle and is affectionate. We are planning on getting together for Memorial Day (25th). I hope when I see him and his family there will be hugs even if we have to wear masks!
Hello to you. How are you doing today? I’m finding myself in a better place this morning. I feel grateful to be making it to another day in the circumstances I find myself in. I am trying to remain grateful.
Last night I had another battle with anxiety. What happens is I start thinking too far ahead or ruminating on all the uncertainties in front of me and things I can’t control. Then I start to get that extremely uncomfortable anxious feeling in my gut. Relief has come from physical exertion and doing normal things. I am having to relearn what normal things are for myself right now. I find there are a lot of things I used to do that I just can’t bring myself to do right now.
I really feel like I am really having a test in my life right now with the concept of mindfulness. That concept of staying in the present moment.
I am having to ask myself internally a lot, “what can you do about it and if the answer is nothing right now why are you dwelling on it?” Something my husband used to do for me and now I’m having to do for myself is to remind myself that worrying about things doesn’t do any good. It’s usually easier said than done he’s right.
The pandemic is still here in Texas but they have really started to lift restrictions so places can open back up. I went to get groceries yesterday at our local Brookshire’s and some of the shelves were cleared out! One of the biggest areas that was cleared was the aisle with cleaning supplies – nothing but concentrated Clorox for example. I can tell they are having trouble keeping some things stocked up right now. I’m just grateful to be able to get the basics right now.
Well I hope however this blog finds you that you are well. Everybody is telling me that I’m strong and that I will get through all that’s going on. I’m just learning to take a few steps at a time and having a lot of faith.
To be 