19 October 2021 Immortality

Hello to you. How is your day going? I got out and did a lap around the neighborhood. I’ll probably need to go a little later to get a mile in. It’s so pretty out!

The past couple of days I’ve been watching AI interpretations of what people from old times would look like today. The reference material used is photographs, paintings, statues and even mummies. Yesterday as I watched a female mummy resurrected for a moment, I found myself asking was this what she had in mind being mummified? Did she and the people of her time know they would become immortals?

In our modern world there are so many ways for even the most poor to become immortal. In addition to all the traditional ways there are so many more now that we have AI. The problem that I see however is a lot of the new ways rely on systems that can fail. What if YouTube or Facebooks servers went down and data couldn’t be retrieved? I had an external hard drive that hit the tile one too many times. I can’t get the pictures, videos and documents unless I pay someone! What happens when you drop your cell phone and all your pictures were on it? Immortality of this age is so fragile!

As a child I wanted to be immortal. I wanted to be a famous singer, writer, dancer and artist. My stepmom said something profound about that though, she said “ Jackie you don’t have to be famous to be somebody.” Back then I was going to Catholic Church. There is a part of me that still longs for the immortality I wanted as a child. My grown up self knows those ships have sailed. The modern world of immortals is for the young even though those who are older have most of the money !

Something interesting in the world of AI and spirituality is the word SAVED. This word and concept is equally important in both worlds. It means immortality. For example there is an 8mm film I have of my family, all of them except my dad are deceased. When I watch it they live again. Through my living eyes they have life. They all believed in Jesus Christ. Without that video and other pictures of them that have been “saved” they would just be names on tombstones…..names written in bibles.

I’m at the time in my life when one starts to think of things like this. I have a trunk full of journals and drawings will they stand the test of time? Have I secured my immortality? Much of my hand written stuff is in cursive writing. In many schools they have stopped teaching cursive writing! I have no children to pass “myself” on to. Will my life just end up being a time capsule in a landfill?

What does immortality mean to you? Why do you do what you do in this life? Lately I have been questioning that a lot. It seems like our world is going through an identity crisis. Are we doing things that have meaning or just to survive? If we were able to do what we truly enjoy doing would we have so much consumerism? For some their immortality is in how many possessions they have.

“Through the veil comes a whisper,”remember me.”

18 October 2021 Return?

Hello again. I hope you don’t mind a late afternoon visit. I’m feeling lonely and can use the company. Today has been long like most of my days this past year. To be honest it feels like I’m waiting for someone to return to me. My whole life is suspended in time waiting and it’s stupid. He’s never going to take me back. He sealed the deal with divorce papers. I don’t know why I can’t accept it.

My plight feels like waiting for Jesus Christ to return. How long has it been since he left? Like 2,000 years? I keep asking myself why would he want to return? What is time to a God?! I would think it would be even harder now than even just a couple of years ago. This is a skeptical world we live in. Wouldn’t anyone proclaiming to be Jesus be criticized ? Be considered crazy? I ran across a video on YouTube today of a man in Australia that says he’s Jesus. He’s being looked at as a cult leader: https://youtu.be/xbFtxEYTJG4

“A face within a face. A body within a body. So many eyes. I see you. I hear you. I want to touch your heart. Through pages bound countless ways I live and breathe again. My voice echoes in the churches, temples, open fields and synagogues. Countless voices of one spirit there am I. You will not know me when I come but I will be here.”

It’s starting to get dark and it’s only 7:30! I don’t do that well this time of year here. Well anyhew hope this finds you well. I’ll be talking to you tomorrow.

10 October 2021

Hello to you . How are you? It’s Sunday. I’m writing to you from my little loveseat that I’m currently sharing with two little dogs. We have an overnight guest my Aunts dog named Smokey. Link and Smokey always have a good time together. Both of the dogs are part Maltese and very similar in temperament. They choose their people! If they don’t like you they let you know it!

Two friends

So I should go get groceries but I don’t wanna. I have enough milk to get me by til tomorrow. Truth be told I dread going to the grocery store. I’ve been reading about scarcity and have noticed it myself with things like water and milk. I never thought I would live in a time like this. Then again I never planned on living someplace that is experiencing such drastic growth either!

It’s all part of a phenomenon I’ve noticed for many years. I noticed it a lot when I lived in Colorado and also Florida….unbridled growth. People would visit these places and decide they just had to live there . When you get a bunch of people with this same bright idea before long what they initially loved is gone and paved over with concrete to accommodate all the people. They have destroyed a place with their love. It’s happening here in Idaho and from what it seems all over the country. My neighbor back in Texas told me they are putting in 200 more homes off a already burdened road .

Where are all these people coming from and why? My own move from Texas to Idaho was driven by a divorce. From my experience here buying a home, people are snapping up houses with cash – well over asking price. The only people that could do that have to be coming from higher cost of living places. A lot of the people I’ve heard are doing this are retirement age or close to retirement .

I’ve been reading about and seeing acres of farm land being turned to new subdivisions. I have also heard and read that we are having water shortages. I have to wonder what is the point of having a new house if there is no water to flow into it?!! Water is a finite resource. What is this state going to do to preserve its water resources?

Sigh……

The people that get hurt the most are the people who already live here. Their wages are not keeping up with the cost of living – rising rent and gas prices….everything costs more. A friend of mine was recently job hunting. He has a Masters degree. The jobs that came up only wanted to pay him the same or a little above what McDonald’s would pay a new employee! People have to have liveable wages ! There are shortages all over for jobs that don’t pay worth a darn and don’t offer medical and dental insurance.

It seems like our system is broken. Everything costs more now and I am not entirely sure why. Is is it that there are more people putting a burden on it? Is it due to poor resource management ? For example student debt for doctors . Would we be able to have more affordable healthcare if so many doctors didn’t have student loans to pay off ?

There has to be a better way. I don’t have all the answers – just a lot of questions! I wish leading people who are running these big corporations would take their eyes off their stock portfolios for a minute….stop profiteering. What good is a world overrun by greed? What good is a world where a great majority of people are living with uncertainty, disease and scarcity?

John 1:5 The light shines in the darkness,(H) and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.(I)

11 September 2021 Memory

Hello to you! How are you today ? I’m doing alright. It’s hard to believe it’s Saturday already . The week went by pretty fast.

Today is a milestone of a horrible day in world history. Sometimes it seems like it was just a collective bad dream but we never woke up. There are still a few first responders suffering and as a world I think we still suffer from what happened that day. I know I was broken for a long time I couldn’t believe something like that could happen here!

Was it one or quite a few, not knowing what to say or what to do? When the walls of tower fell, it looked like a scene right out of hell. So many years have past since that fateful day, the roars have turned to whispers not much left to say.

10 April 2021 Normalcy

Hello to you, how are you? I’m doing ok. Today’s topic is courtesy of a friend as she is struggling, like many of us are, to define what her new normal is. So much of what we used to do without thinking about it has changed. Like I heard from my cousin that her daughter had to schedule a spot to visit the zoo! We used to be able to just go and visit the zoo. We used to be able to just go shopping, eat out , get a haircut , go to a movie and various other things without a second thought. Now we have to find out if places are open and if they are open what are their procedures for being open.

I honestly don’t think things will ever be the way they were before this pandemic happened. Part of me is wondering if the pandemic has given us a new reverence for “normal” when we can have it. May be we don’t take things for granted as much.

Normalcy” in the English Ordinal system equals 101 (one unknown person, place or thing to one) I look at this being like a two blacksmiths at an anvil working on one piece of metal.

6 Nov 2020 Election Day

Hello to you and how are you? It’s been a couple days since I have written again. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the days slip past me this time of year.

The subject that has me preoccupied right now is the election. I didn’t get my absentee ballot requested fast enough so I didn’t get to vote. God must have known I couldn’t make up my mind on who to vote for. I have been following live feeds on Youtube. It seems like Joe Biden is winning but there is nothing official yet. May the best man win.

May the doors that need to open, open. May the doors that need to shut, shut. Amen”” in the English Ordinal system equals 779 (all the vices in check for a no process)

I decided to see what election day came up to in the numbers:

election day” in the English Ordinal system equals 113 (of course a 13) (one one yes, no, may be)

2 September 2020 Memory (blessing or a curse)

Hello again how are you?

Do you ever feel like having a good memory is both a blessing and a curse?  Right now I am feeling like it is a curse of sorts.  I want to move forward with my life but memories keep popping up that drag me backwards.  When I get dragged backwards it’s a very visceral experience and a lot of times I feel it on a physical level.  This is ironic because for so long I was lending my support to a program called Music and Memory!  As of right now, I am unable to listen to much music now!  So many songs I liked to listen to are connected to memories of the past 12+ years.

Is this why people smoke, drink and or do illegal  drugs?!!!!

So I am going to ask a question in the numbers and see what comes out:

Is having a good memory a blessing or a curse?” in the English Ordinal system equals 408 (left side of the brain, with people, place and or object in between in eternity and or the race track of life existence.  Could the object be the brain or the memory?)

four zero eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 173 (one all vices in check yes, no, may be existence)

one seven three” in the English Ordinal system equals 155 (one all of the senses for light and shadow self)

one five five” in the English Ordinal system equals 118 (one and one separated in eternity and or the racetrack of life existence)

one one eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 117 (one and one separated all vices in check)

one one seven” in the English Ordinal system equals 133 (one yes, no may be for the light and shadow self)

one three three” in the English Ordinal system equals 146 (one left side of brain all vices in check but one 46=Body)

curse” in the English Ordinal system equals 66 (all vices in check but one both light and shadow of self)

blessing” in the English Ordinal system equals 87 (eternity all vices in check)

memory” in the English Ordinal system equals 89 (eternity and “nein” and or no existence)

music” in the English Ordinal system equals 65 (all vices in check but one with all the senses)

26 September 2020 Friends

Hello to you.  How are you today?  This morning I am still processing what happened yesterday.  I went out and spent a few hours with husband and his family for Memorial Day.  Kyle and I had the talk I been dreading for us to have but it was necessary.  Spot sat between us.  The past four years have just proven to be more than Kyle can take.  He is also trying to progress in a career where he is going to be gone a lot.   I may not be financially high maintenance but emotionally I can be.  I’m kind of like a dog with separation anxiety to be honest.   I don’t do well being by myself too long.  So he’s doing what is best for himself and ultimately I think this will be good for me too I just can’t see it yet.  I think things are going to be alright.  With everything that has happened between us the past few years, our friendship remains intact and that means the world to me!   I got to spend time with Spot too and she seemed much more relaxed than I’ve seen her in a long time which is a good thing.

25 May 2020 – beautiful Spotty in her first bed

At about 3 pm Tim played TAPS.  It reminded me of when we had all gone to Arlington National Cemetery and he and his family played.

25 May 2020 Tim Played TAPS in honor of Memorial Day

25 May 2020 Beth Tim Kyle and Cole

We played a few rounds of Yahtzee and of course I didn’t win!  It was fun to spend some time together like that.  I am blessed to have such understanding people as family.

25 May 2020 – Yahtzee!

25 May 2020 – handsome Henry. He and Link are always fighting over Kyle’s Mom Beth!

 

25 May 2020 Remembering

How are you today?  I’m doing pretty good.  It’s a wet Memorial Day.  They say it’s going to be like this all day.  I guess it’s a fitting thing that it be raining on this somber holiday.  In the past couple of years, my husband and honored this holiday by going to our local cemetery.  Instead of doing that this year, I will be going to spend some time with my husband, his family and of course Spotty.  Last night before bed I was imagining saying hello to her and being so excited!

Our Spotty Girl –  I miss her 

Memorial Day” in the English Ordinal system equals 116

a remembrance” in the English Ordinal system equals 98

together” in the English Ordinal system equals 98

Remembering, like I mentioned in my post yesterday, is a mixed thing.  It can be a helpful skill and as my husband used to day about his having a great memory, it can be a curse.   I am struggling with the curse part right now.  When I remember things it is such a visceral experience that it hurts.  In our current times I’m sure I’m not alone.   On this day I can guess there are many who wish they didn’t have to remember what today is about!   My heart goes out to anyone reading this that can relate to that.

Goals for today:

Today I will rest in gratitude that I am here and yet able to remember.  Today I will give thanks for what and who I have in my life.  Today I will have hope that today and the tomorrows yet to come will be filled with great new memories.

 

16 May 2020 Making it another day

Hello to you.  How are you doing today? I’m finding myself in a better place this morning.  I feel grateful to be making it to another day in the circumstances I find myself in.   I am trying to remain grateful.

Last night I had another battle with anxiety.  What happens is I start thinking too far ahead or ruminating on all the uncertainties in front of me and things I can’t control.  Then I start to get that extremely uncomfortable anxious feeling in my gut.   Relief has come from physical exertion and doing normal things.  I am having to relearn what normal things are for myself right now.  I find there are a lot of things I used to do that I just can’t bring myself to do right now.

I really feel like  I am really having a test in my life right now with the concept of mindfulness.  That concept of staying in the present moment.

I am having to ask myself internally a lot, “what can you do about it and if the answer is nothing right now why are you dwelling on it?”  Something my husband used to do for me and now I’m having to do for myself is to remind myself that worrying about things doesn’t do any good.  It’s usually easier said than done he’s right.

The pandemic is still here in Texas but they have really started to lift restrictions so places can open back up.  I went to get groceries yesterday at our local Brookshire’s and some of the shelves were cleared out!  One of the biggest areas that was cleared was the aisle with cleaning supplies – nothing but concentrated Clorox for example.  I can tell they are having trouble keeping some things stocked up right now.  I’m just grateful to be able to get the basics right now.

Well I hope however this blog finds you that you are well.  Everybody is telling me that I’m strong and that I will get through all that’s going on.  I’m just learning to take a few steps at a time and having a lot of faith.