16 May 2020 Making it another day

Hello to you.  How are you doing today? I’m finding myself in a better place this morning.  I feel grateful to be making it to another day in the circumstances I find myself in.   I am trying to remain grateful.

Last night I had another battle with anxiety.  What happens is I start thinking too far ahead or ruminating on all the uncertainties in front of me and things I can’t control.  Then I start to get that extremely uncomfortable anxious feeling in my gut.   Relief has come from physical exertion and doing normal things.  I am having to relearn what normal things are for myself right now.  I find there are a lot of things I used to do that I just can’t bring myself to do right now.

I really feel like  I am really having a test in my life right now with the concept of mindfulness.  That concept of staying in the present moment.

I am having to ask myself internally a lot, “what can you do about it and if the answer is nothing right now why are you dwelling on it?”  Something my husband used to do for me and now I’m having to do for myself is to remind myself that worrying about things doesn’t do any good.  It’s usually easier said than done he’s right.

The pandemic is still here in Texas but they have really started to lift restrictions so places can open back up.  I went to get groceries yesterday at our local Brookshire’s and some of the shelves were cleared out!  One of the biggest areas that was cleared was the aisle with cleaning supplies – nothing but concentrated Clorox for example.  I can tell they are having trouble keeping some things stocked up right now.  I’m just grateful to be able to get the basics right now.

Well I hope however this blog finds you that you are well.  Everybody is telling me that I’m strong and that I will get through all that’s going on.  I’m just learning to take a few steps at a time and having a lot of faith.


2 May 2020 Thank you

Hello and happy Saturday to you.   I hope this finds you well.  The message that came to me is one I’ve talked about before but in these times it’s ever so relevant – two words – THANK YOU!

These two words span the entirety of my existence from the folks who helped me get through my treatment, my fellow patients, my family, my friends and especially my neighbors.  Yesterday I found out it was my next door neighbors and another neighbor friend that helped keep our front yard from becoming overgrown.  Those two words also apply to all the folks working in the local businesses/franchises in town like our grocery store Brookshire’s and Papa John’s for example.  Yesterday the man I hired to take care of our lawn, Mr. Manza – how easy he made a mess of a yard look great again.

So much gratitude!  A hear no one has a small part.t space to live in for sure!  In my life,


Looking at these two words in Gematria.  As always, just what my wanderings have found for myself but something here may resonate with you too:

Thank You” in the English Ordinal system equals 115 – a face, replenished, intelligence, symbiotic, positive

one one five” in the English Ordinal system equals 110 – emotions, purpose, loyalty, perfect being

one one zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 132 – a life, noble motive, higher power, expectation

one three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 148 – a tree, human emotion, care of the soul

one four eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 143 – a choice, contentment, resourceful, philosophy

one four three” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – a Joy, understanding, communication, divine planning, positive image

one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140 – a food, interesting, celestial bodies, rays of light

one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158 – a feeling, quality of life, simpler times, spirit alchemy

one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 – a all, courageous, spiritual, lead by example

one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – a one, information, combinations, responsible, intellectual


I attempted a painting on Link yesterday. I need more practice but a good try I think.